The Brotherhood Of The Sasquatch (A Little Bit O'Learnin')
Do you really want to offend a sasquatch? Call him a yeti...
ok, time for a little bit o'teachin' ... y'kids ready for some learnin'?
sasquatch - of which I just happen to be "half-blooded" - is from the Salish tongue, meaning "sésquac" (wild man). we are normally smaller than our closest cousins, the bigfoot, ranging only 5-8ft tall...
we are the second most man-like of our blood (the yowie being closest), with the same features and limb-proportion as man but with larger eyes, "crested" skulls, and - of course, the usual excess of fur.
only bigfoot are more common, we like to consider ourselves the best mannered, cleanest, and most intelligent of our brethren - bigfoot will happily discuss that with a hefty backslap and hearty guffah.
bigfoot - our cousins are the most commonly seen and referred to of our lineage, found on EVERY continent (except possibly antarctica). THE largest of us, ranging 6-12ft tall and weighing over 500lbs...!
they share our large eyes, "crested" skulls, and excess fur - though their scent is strong and unpleasant to most - and their feet/hands are quite large in comparison to their limb length and overall size.
they tend to be nocturnal but are quite pleasant and, despite rumours of their "claws," possess fingers like most and are omnivorous, preferring vegetation and fish (personally I say *ugh*, but *shrugs*).
yowie - strangely sometimes confused with the bunyip, though who knows how as they are the most man-like of our blood - excepting their elongated arms and lengthy hair growth (mostly from their scalp).
relatively common to Australia, particularly in the east, they are fast runners that rarely stand fully upright. rumours of talons, wings, or backwards feet are either exaggerated or simply tricks played.
yeren - secretive and rare "throwbacks" of our bloodline, being more ape/orangutang-like than most of us. peacefully hiding in the remote mountain forests of China, they range from 8 to over 10ft tall!
surprisingly intelligent and adaptive, albinism has actually become common as it helps them to blend into the mountain snows, though their fur normally tends to range in the reddish of hues.
honestly, even we're not entirely certain of the urayuli - rarer still than the yeren, rumoured to have elongated arms down to their ankles and stand roughly 10ft tall with shaggy fur and luminiscent eyes.
if they do exist (in Alaska), we would love for them to show themselves to us - but their presumed peaceful yet animalistic nature (their cries sounding like a loon?) means they may not be of intelligence.
last (and, purposefully, least), the yeti - *ugh* these (very) distant cousins are the "dirty hippies" of our lineage, minus the "hippy." but I'll do my best to give a short "review" without gagging...
the shortest amongst us, tending between 4 and 7ft at tallest, though you wouldn't know it by their hunching. they NEVER bathe and their fur is matted with "filth of nature" that has gotten stuck to them.
sneaky li'l bastardized wannabes that try to mimic us sasquatch or bigfoot, making us look bad!, but eat ANYthing and are not above attacking random things moving in their vicinity and biting large chunks.
there have been other names thrown about (such as the urayuli), but most are simply offshoots of us living in unusual areas mistaken for something else, what with their descriptions matching one of us...
of course, there are always legends thrown about by people vying for fame and, thus, intruding upon our solitude or making it difficult for those of us who've chosen to live amongst mankind (like myself).
...quite honestly, though, these type of people are the most fun to "freak out" or tease by sending one of us to give a fright (a yeren, if available, are most perfect since they're most unusual of us).
so, who knows, any one of your neighbors who seems a little unusual - or maybe even too "normal?" - may be one of us, or of our blood, so don't be afraid to befriend us ... unless it's a yeti. *gags*
- thom / Wolfox
Do you really want to offend a sasquatch? Call him a yeti...
ok, time for a little bit o'teachin' ... y'kids ready for some learnin'?
sasquatch - of which I just happen to be "half-blooded" - is from the Salish tongue, meaning "sésquac" (wild man). we are normally smaller than our closest cousins, the bigfoot, ranging only 5-8ft tall...
we are the second most man-like of our blood (the yowie being closest), with the same features and limb-proportion as man but with larger eyes, "crested" skulls, and - of course, the usual excess of fur.
only bigfoot are more common, we like to consider ourselves the best mannered, cleanest, and most intelligent of our brethren - bigfoot will happily discuss that with a hefty backslap and hearty guffah.
bigfoot - our cousins are the most commonly seen and referred to of our lineage, found on EVERY continent (except possibly antarctica). THE largest of us, ranging 6-12ft tall and weighing over 500lbs...!
they share our large eyes, "crested" skulls, and excess fur - though their scent is strong and unpleasant to most - and their feet/hands are quite large in comparison to their limb length and overall size.
they tend to be nocturnal but are quite pleasant and, despite rumours of their "claws," possess fingers like most and are omnivorous, preferring vegetation and fish (personally I say *ugh*, but *shrugs*).
yowie - strangely sometimes confused with the bunyip, though who knows how as they are the most man-like of our blood - excepting their elongated arms and lengthy hair growth (mostly from their scalp).
relatively common to Australia, particularly in the east, they are fast runners that rarely stand fully upright. rumours of talons, wings, or backwards feet are either exaggerated or simply tricks played.
yeren - secretive and rare "throwbacks" of our bloodline, being more ape/orangutang-like than most of us. peacefully hiding in the remote mountain forests of China, they range from 8 to over 10ft tall!
surprisingly intelligent and adaptive, albinism has actually become common as it helps them to blend into the mountain snows, though their fur normally tends to range in the reddish of hues.
honestly, even we're not entirely certain of the urayuli - rarer still than the yeren, rumoured to have elongated arms down to their ankles and stand roughly 10ft tall with shaggy fur and luminiscent eyes.
if they do exist (in Alaska), we would love for them to show themselves to us - but their presumed peaceful yet animalistic nature (their cries sounding like a loon?) means they may not be of intelligence.
last (and, purposefully, least), the yeti - *ugh* these (very) distant cousins are the "dirty hippies" of our lineage, minus the "hippy." but I'll do my best to give a short "review" without gagging...
the shortest amongst us, tending between 4 and 7ft at tallest, though you wouldn't know it by their hunching. they NEVER bathe and their fur is matted with "filth of nature" that has gotten stuck to them.
sneaky li'l bastardized wannabes that try to mimic us sasquatch or bigfoot, making us look bad!, but eat ANYthing and are not above attacking random things moving in their vicinity and biting large chunks.
there have been other names thrown about (such as the urayuli), but most are simply offshoots of us living in unusual areas mistaken for something else, what with their descriptions matching one of us...
of course, there are always legends thrown about by people vying for fame and, thus, intruding upon our solitude or making it difficult for those of us who've chosen to live amongst mankind (like myself).
...quite honestly, though, these type of people are the most fun to "freak out" or tease by sending one of us to give a fright (a yeren, if available, are most perfect since they're most unusual of us).
so, who knows, any one of your neighbors who seems a little unusual - or maybe even too "normal?" - may be one of us, or of our blood, so don't be afraid to befriend us ... unless it's a yeti. *gags*
- thom / Wolfox
