nothing says your alone like being chosen to be a best man because your friend doesn't know any other single guys.

looks like my account is going to die soon because im broke but ill be back as soon as I can find a job.

This is for those of you who are happy today to have someone this is not a sad pity me post this is not me being angry at being alone this is me being happy that there are people out in the world that have found someone to share there lives with someone who makes them happy no matter what their soul mate. I hope that you are treated to all that you deserve today and that everyday you are together is filled with love and kindness. I have hope that one day I will find that someone as well the person that makes me whole the person who I can't live without, I hope to fine the one person that is to good for me and then i hope to spend the rest of my life trying to make sure she never finds out how out of my league she is.
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Life is short and hard one day the sun will explode taking the Earth with it we will all get sick we will all get old and we will all die it is the nature of life for it to end but that is not what is important what is important is that we spend our time here with open harts and minds I hope that we can all love each other and except each others faults and be great full for others strengths. someone was kind to me this week a complete stranger put herself out there to help her fellow man and this gave me the hope to keep going the hope that one day I can be happy that I will no longer be alone and for that I am grateful. I hope that today we can all be so great that we can not just show love for our friends and family but for all people everywhere.
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I carry a prayer in my hart today for those who don't have anyone and are alone I hope they can feel the kindness and warmth of others I hope they find love.

My poem for tomorrow
Roses are red violets are blue fuck valentines day fuck it in the face I would shoot it in the head with a shoot gun and then mutilate its dead corpse placing it on a spike so that all the other love filled holidays know to stay out of my fucking way I'm looking at you Lupercalia and not to mention "Día del Amor y la Amistad" ill give you a case of love and friendship with my foot up your ass so stay the fuck out of my way. Sugar is sweet and so are you.

I am not doing so good this week I am tired but I cant sleep I am sad and alone I put up a ad on Craigslist looking for a relationship I actually feel dirty for doing it like I am not good enough to try to find someone in person that i need to go there. I hope that this week starts to turn around and something brings be back up I really don't want my doctor to send me back in I think I'll just hide in my room until I can come out of this down turn im in.

well I am alive today but I am filled with this crushing depression that no matter how many people surround me I am always alone and I will always be alone. I can't sleep anymore I just sit in my room and wait for morning to come wait for the sun to come up so I can start everything all over again. I am taking the spring off and trying to get my head in a place where I can move on, but I don't know if I can I don't know if I can move forward if I want to. I am trying to find a reason to live this week if I can find just one then I will make it to the next.

So I was in a psych ward for a while because I tried to kill myself but im back in the world now trying to move on and get back into life. This extra sucks because I still want to die but I no longer have the balls to go though with it so now every day is spent trying to find reasons to go on with my life or reasons to end it witch ever im not picky. this week I decided not to kill myself because it is my friends birthday on Friday and I should be there also i still need to see the hobbit. So I might not be here next week I guess ill see if i can find a reason to live next week I will post something next week when I have made a decision.

Ok so i got a question and I am not sure who to ask for advice on this one. I have a friend shes a girl who is having medical problems and she has been given a time frame of life expectancy and she is single and doesn't want to go though it alone. She asked me if I would be her boyfriend while she is sick, I have always had feelings for this friend and knew she was sick and I am not sure what i should do because I do want to be with her but if I am and she dose die I don't know how that would be I am worried I am not sure what to do. Ether way I am going to be with her go to the doctor and be by her side its just saying that were together im not sure if I can agree to that.

while I am feeling this I need to write it down so i can get everything out. My grandpa the only one I have just died five minuets ago he was 90. He was in pain all he time so I am happy that he is not any more but I am still not sure what i feel. I am kind of numb to the whole thing im sitting here trying to decide what to feel and I dont know I do know I dont want to be alone right now but I am my friends are all asleep and I dont have a girlfriend my family is out of town. I have never felt so alone as I do right now. this sucks I think I am going to cry sitting alone at my place and cry awesome and im writing this down on a sight with naked women. no one on here can do anything about its sad that the only place i have to go is here in order to feel like im with someone. damn I just want to sit and hold someone and feel like im ok but i cant and im not. I have to replace porn with actual relationships what a douche no matter how hard i try to be a good person to be a gentlemen to be kind I still see douche bags getting all the girls my morals ruin my life, and now im crying that sucks but im just going to keep typing at least it lets me get all this out. So im alone sitting here wishing i had someone i could hold right now. my brain doesn't want to work it just wants to shut down. somebody anybody please i need someone to text or to talk to no one is answering their phone.

I just got back from my friends wedding. It was a beautiful ceremony it was in a greenhouse surrounded by flowers it rained but just enough so it sounded like the earth was cheering for the new couple. they looked very happy together and they are leaving for Hawaii tomorrow for their honeymoon.

Is it wired for a guy to say that I want to get married. I am looking for the happiness they now share the feeling that now that you are with this person you are whole, like before this moment I hadn't even realized I was missing a part of me and now I wont be able to live without this part.

Love is so perfect God had a good day when he came up with that emotion. Love is the salt of emotions you know when you have it but no matter how hard you try you cant describe it and there is nothing else like it in the world.

I wish them all the best.

P.S. If anyone wants to get married let me know.