I just can't seem to get Melvin together these days, it always something with him.

She is still a darling, and it kills me not to see her everyday. I don't want to be clingy, but there is just something about that girl...

If you got a bitch who sucks dick and loves to fuck...

...show them what they pussy made for.

Why?

Life would have been so much simpler if she wasn't so intriging. I cannot lie and say I'm not attracted to her. She has these lovely chocolate brown eyes, with natural dark rings around them from far too much undo stress in her life. When we speak I find myself getting lost in those eyes. I think she catches me sometimes; getting lost in her eyes and she smiles, which brings me back. She doesn't smile enough, so when she does it is something special.

She seems quite unhappy with her boyfriend, her job, and her life in general. But when she does smile, her face lights up and those lovely eyes sparkle framed in her perfectly plucked eyebrows that make her look most devious, like she knows something you don't. When I think of her, even now, that is how I picture her; smiling, her face all lit up with that hint of devilry in her eyes.

But, alas, it can never be. For in a few short weeks when her mother marries my father we will be kin, and certain rules cannot be broken. For no matter how desirable this girl may be, my father's happiness is far more important for his time of this earth is short compared to mine. So I will not persue this forbidden love for that reason alone. Even though there are far more reasons and an infinite amount of complications, I could overcome them all save that one. My father's happiness now with what he knows to be right is far more important to me, than my own future happiness with what could be...

No one ever said life was easy or simple did they?



I told her I will probably be a life long bachelor, and she replied, "you're too soft. I don't by that loner crap."

I'm still trying to figure out what she meant by "too soft."

Sigh.

If things were only different I really think I could have...

...but such is life.

She is so like me, what a couple we could have made. Even our demons would match. I'm further along than her, I've accepted my demons as part of what makes me who I am. She still battles her's. I wish I could help her...



Sexplosion

I like to watch the way you walk,
I live to hear the words you talk.
I love to know the things you do,
when no one's there to spy on you.
I want to crawl inside your head
to kiss your mind and lips of red.
I dig the things you do to me.
You lit the fire to set me free.

~TKK

I got to get out of here. I need to get away from these people. At best we tolerate each other. Now with all the new 'kin' it is worse. I never got along with my family to begin with and have always been a black sheep. Soon hopefully, I'll be able to totally isolate myself from them. My stepmother thinks I want to sleep with her daughter. Shit, life is hard enough without Jerry Springer-esque quasi-incest bullshit. I didn't sleep with her, no do I have the intention of doing so.

What a day, so many good and bad things happend today. It was like the karma police were out in force to guarantee my accounts' balance.

I paid $219 to get my transcripts out of hock, then found out the grades they were withholding was a 4.0 in A/C and a 3.4 Advanced Electronics. I was also allowed to start my second last class on time this morning & I have the best instructor in the school teaching it with a former classmate of mine as his assistant. I'm now paid in full and assuming the the improbable doesn't happen I will finish on time as planned in November.

Yay! Great news for me! Good grades, no more pressing school bills, and the best teacher in one of my most important classes. (Though Sallie Mae ain't no whore and is gonna want her money soon, at least I get to graduate before she comes calling.)

Then on my lunch break a very nice police officer informed me that the speedometer on my 21 year old beater is about 12 MPH off on the slow side. So the 55 MPH I was traveling was in reality closer to 67, and my temporary registration had expired a week ago and I was driving an unregistered vehicle.

Fuck! $375 worth of tickets later. I was on my way. But wait, I know what you're thinking $375 hardly seems equal to all the good stuff that happend today, until you factor in that my plates were siezed and now even though I have a car with like a million dollars worth of gas in it, I can't drive it. So how am I going to get to school or to work?

But fuck it, life is grand. Even the karma police can't piss in my shoe and tell me its raining.

Sorry, I haven't been around in a while. I have been quite busy. I wish I could adequately explain the slice of surreality that kept me away from my beloved SG, but certain words without proper inflection can be easily misleading. I doubt any have missed me, though I have missed a few of you, particularly the hardbody beauty from the Motor City and a wily hardtruckin' vagabond.

I hope to be around more, mayhaps fate will smile on me and keep the demons at bay for a while.

Can you change someone elses pet's name? I live with my step-sister's 3 year old cat now and I don't like his name, so I'm going to call him something else. That's not wrong is it? It's not like the cat listens when I call him, so does it really matter what I call him?

My favorite Car seduced another married man into doing what he should ought not have done. She is such a malicious little angel, how I love her so.

It's a shame how the same things that make you laugh can make you cry, and the same things that make you tell the truth can make you lie.

Update? I hate to sound busy too busy for anyone, but damn it right now I am.

School is almost over, but I'll still be gone 'til November. It doesn't help that electron theory, semi-conductors, and condensed matter physics is, besides difficult and fantastically boring, essential. It is what seperates the men from the boys, the technicians from the mechanics, and is the difference between $20 per flat-rate our and $40 per flat-rate hour.

I'm finally all moved in with all services functioning. I live with 3 cats now but I'm not to sure about the cats though. I'm more of a dog person I think. However the big cat that doesn't like anybody ('cept his Momma) seems to like me well enough (for a cat?) and is always rubbing up on me and purring. So I'm going to take that as a good omen. Although one of these days I really need to unpack my things.

Melvin is still on life-support. I haven't had time to do a proper diagnosis, work has just been far to busy, and frankly I don't get paid to work on my own car. I should really just save up some money and buy a reliable car, but where is the sport in that? Speaking of work; I don't know if I have ever mentioned this before, but I love what I do. I love working on cars, even when whatever car I'm working on has turned into a vile, no good, common, cum-guzzling, gutterslut. I find myself smiling even as I am cursing.

So I moved into the new place last weekend and just got my internet this weekend. Fucking Comcast! I swear the cable companies are like the old phone companies. Their service is shitty and they charge to much but they are the only business in town. So my birthday was a few days ago, eh - I got older. What else is there to say. I know far to many who never made it this far, my youngest (and only full-blooded) brother among the fallen.

But life is good. Everyday is a day to be cherished. Every person you will ever come across has the oppurtunity to make you happy, just some people do it when they come and some people do it when they go.

I may have killed Melvin, he overheated one day and I'm afraid he may not survive. The symptoms are severe and the general consensus prior to surgery is a burnt exhaust valve. I may have to perform a transplant. There is a donor 350 on standby. In the meantime I'm being chauffeured by my rather gracious family.