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WhiteWidow lost little soul in this great big world

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OCTOBER 5, 2008 @ 08:34 PM | 7 COMMENTS

Story of the day.....................................

Work is going greatbiggrin

The studio isn't open officially yet but there are so many kids/teenagers that want to take my classes that I have to start auditioning them next week to place them in classes. It is crazy...they don't even know what kind of a teacher I am - it's all about them having a "foreign" teacher from what I was told. For me it is a good thing though because I can hand pick students to do my choreography so that it comes out the way that I want it to. wink

Pete is out on the open sea (on one of 3 ships taking the unit to got knows where) and from what I am reading in his emails, he is having a pretty good time being back on ship. He was not happy however that he had to be taken off of the ship he was originally placed on and moved to another one (mid trip) to take over a job of a Corpsman who fell ill. At least he was moved to a better ship in terms of who he is working with so it all worked out better for him. We will officially be at the half way point of his deployment a week from today)biggrinbiggrinbiggrin

Other than that - not much going on here besides me being sick with an unknown illness. I am thinking a lack of iron but that is only a guess.

In any case - I bit the bullet and started putting up the Halloween decorations today but I have to admit that I just slapped them up anywhere because it was no fun doing it by myselffrown Next year we are going to have a kickass housewink

Well - this is about as much as I have the strength to write today. I'll update again later (probably next weekend)kiss Hope everyone is doing wellkisssmilekisssmilekisssmilekisssmile
SEPTEMBER 26, 2008 @ 11:08 PM | 8 COMMENTS

Story of the day.................................

Lesson learned - when your mamma teaches you one of lifes great lessons...try to live by it. wink

My mamma always told me not to judge a book by its cover and I unfortunatley did when it came to that Medical Job mentioned in my last journal. Turns out that all of the information I was given about being paid under the table, not being on the records as being an employee etc.... was given to me by a bitter employee who was fired last Friday (on my day off). I was officially hired full time (on the books) as a Medical Technician and I am soooo happy I didn't walk away from the job last week because this week has been absolutely fantastic!!!! It is funny - my last medical job (that I was laid off from back in July) I LOVED when I first started there.....but it turned sour. This job I HATED last week and now that the problem has been removed from the situation I LOVE it!!biggrin The Dr I work for is amazing and makes me feel so wanted and smartwink The other Medical Assistat I work with and I get along great so it is just us 3 women who run the office and it works soooooooooo much better than my last job. We just clicked when I started full time and I think that it could work into a great long term jobsmile Best part is that the Dr likes to call me her "nurse" which makes me feel special since I am totally not a nurse at all. Her patients are great too - so friendly and this office deals with kids so I get to treat them as wellsmile

The dance studio is getting really close to the grand opening which is next week and as far as I know my classes are almost full already. I am so pumped to get started that I could just do a happy dance!!biggrin



In other news - Did you know that when you suck up ants into your vaccume cleaner...they DON'T DIE!!!! mad I thought for sure that they would crack their ugly little heads on the inside of the machine thus killing them by brain damage...NOPE!!! Those little fuckers are very determined to survive!!eeek I found them marching 2 by 2 in my kitchen making a break for the kitties water dish but thanks to the quick actions of the kitties....ok - the constant meowing that someone was invading their food........I got them before they took over the place. I hate ants - they are the most annoying bugs known to manmad All they like to do is taunt me blackeyed



I have saved the best news for lastwink

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
PETE EMAILED ME TO SAY HE IS SAFE AND SOUND ON HIS SHIP!!!!!biggrinbiggrinbiggrin

Of course I knew he would be - it is just nice to know that he is doing well. From what I got out of his emails, he loves being back on ship and is enjoying the open seawink I was excited to hear from him and catch him up on the last week of great news even though my heart is aching for his return. We are almost at the half way point and then it is just a count downwink Even though it would normally piss me off I am excited that the Christmas decorations are already being put out in department stores because that means that Pete will be home soontongue I know - kinda silly to think that but it is working for my moralwink

Next weekend I think I am going to bite the bullet and pull out the Halloween decorations even though I originally planned to ignore the holiday. Halloween is Petes favorite holiday and I didn't want to decorate our first house without him here to share in the enjoyment but in the end I decided that it would be good for me to get a feel for what the house had as far as potential for decorating. I can at least put out all of our decorations this year because we actually have the space to do so!!smile

Pete wouldn't want me to boycot his favorite holiday so I will do it for himwink

Happy sailing Petey - come home safe babykiss kiss








So now I leave you with warm fuzzy thoughts and hope you are all wellkiss

SEPTEMBER 21, 2008 @ 01:11 AM | 9 COMMENTS

Story of the day.......................


Well - feeling much better from that icky gross flu like thing that knocked me down for the past week puke I was feeling great today...that is until I attempted to do a dance move that I probably would have been capable of doing back in 1995 eeek I have to keep reminding myself that I am NOT 16 anymore but rather a fragile 30!!!! blush If any of you are familiar with dancing (or at least watch "So You Think You Can Dance") there is a move that is basically a cartwheel without using your hands. Of course I thought that since I can do a regular cartwheel that I would be capable of pulling off this new move.


WRONG!!!!! blackeyed

The moral of the story here is that even though you may think of yourself as a teenager, your body doesn't know any better and will act its age......and react accordingly to any acts of stupidity that you may cause to it. I am sure that my shoulder and neck will be as good as new in a few days and as soon as I can turn my head again I'll probably be a dumb ass and try it again tongue

In other newsfrown.............*WARNING* - the following may contain some mushy, sappy, whining that may not be suitable for some readers.

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
This afternoon I spoke to Pete for the last time on web cam before he officially heads out on the open sea to begin the training phase of his deployment. That being said - it may also be the last time I hear from him at all until his return to Okinawa in Late November/ Early December. Of course there is the sickening worry in the pit of my stomach that it could potentially be the last time I speak to him ever. I know that being on a training mission means that the chances of him being in harms way is very slim and deep down I know that he is coming home perfectly fine but it is only natural to worry right?? Of course for security reasons he wasn't able to tell me where exactly he was going but through my military chain of command (yes, spouses of military members have these too) I got a rough idea of where he may be headed. It isn't him or any of the guys in his unit I am worried about at all. They are highly trained to do their jobs....it is the locals I worry about. Do THEY know that these guys mean no harm and are only there to train??? This is what worries me. Of course it doesn't help that just after I spoke to Pete I got an email from a former co worker in the Canadian Armed Forces containing a fresh list of Canadian Soldiers killed on deployment and it is like a knife in my heart each time I read a name I knew. I keep thinking that if Canadian soldiers are being killed on deployments (and we go over there as peace keepers) what is potentially to happen to Pete and his unit who are on deployment for different reasons. I know that Pete joined the military knowing the same things I did when I joined. We both knew what we were getting ourselves into when we signed the dotted line. Still - as much as I love the military (I know some of you may think I am sick in the head for that) I also know the dangers and the potential outcomes to events.........things I don't really want to think about. I can't believe how my perspective of the military has changed now that we are married though. If I were to still be in the forces now I wouldn't be throwing my hand up at the chance to go overseas to make a difference. Of course I would go in a hearbeat if they asked me....I just wouldn't volunteer to go every week. It is different knowing that your decisions now affect another life as well as your own. Then there is the whole perspective once again when children are involved. I don't know - just lots of things going through my head right now.

I just miss Pete like crazyfrown It is weird - little things really bother me these days. Just seeing a couple walking down the street hand in hand makes me resent the fact that I can't do that with my husband. I just wanna walk up to young couples I see making out and telling them that they have no right to display their affection in public because not everyone has that luxury. Silly little things like those damn hallmark commercials make me cry because all I can think about is the fact that even if I send Pete a stupid card, he may not even get it for 2-3 months. How is he suppose to know that I miss him and love him very much?? WOW - someone is a little hormonal todayeeek blush

I think I'll end this here before I really go off on a rant (as if this hasn't been one already)



Last but not least. The new medical job........is more of a joke than anythingfrown I got to work on Monday and they just started me working right away. I never had an interview, never filled out an application, never got a time card.....nothing. I never really thought about it until my father-in-law pointed out to me that there is no record of me even working there eeek The other 2 Medical Assistants that I work with are leaving and after hearing why I will probably be following right behind them. They get paid under the table - no taxes off or anything. They don't get paid on a regular basis and sometimes they only get partial checks with promises to pay them the rest "later". How is one suppose to pay bills etc if they can't even count on getting paid every couple of weeks?? The worst part for me is the fact that they won't give me set hours. I asked them when I work until every night and they told me "oh - just after the last patient leaves" which doesn't work with my dance teaching schedule at all. So Monday I am going to go in and set the record straight. They also will need to be paying me more if the other 2 girls leave and I am left all by myself. Not for $9.00 an hour I'm not!!!! How am I suppose to answer phones, schedule patients, do vital signs, administer immunizations, set up for proceedures for the Dr, call patients back with lab results AND scan all hard copy medical records into the computer to convert to electronic format??? I think that I may be better off just staying on unemployment and teching at the same time. Then during the day I can focus on going back to school to get some California certifications in the medical field. I don't know - too much going on these days.

Anyways - this whole journal turned out to be nothing more than a rant....sorry frown blush

I am just going to end this with

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and with all of my heart

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SEPTEMBER 17, 2008 @ 04:23 PM | 8 COMMENTS

Story of the day.........

Thanks to everyone who sent nice thoughts to me and got to see me perform my "talent" on Ellen Monday. I really wanted to respond to all of you who left comments and messages but alas - I have been REALLY sick for the past 4-5 days. I am just happy that they filmed the show last week because on Monday I was not up for doing much of anything (including going to my first day of work).

All in all - my new job is ok but I am not getting excited about it yet. I'm not writting it off either but I just can't see myself being there long term for the amount of money they are paying me and the hours they have me working. Still - it is more than I was making being an unemployed bumwink The Doctor I work for is really nice though so that is half the battle already won.

When I get feeling better I will try to record my spot on Ellen to my computer but I don't even have the energy to really sit here and type this let alone set up the lap top and hook everything up to the TV. I have no idea what I am sick with or where I got it from. All I know is that I have been spiking a fever of about 102 since Sunday and am totally drained of any energy I had. My body has been so hot lately that I can feel the heat coming off of my skin. I even have some fever blisters on my arms and legs which is weird confused I though last night I was feeling better but today it hurts to move even the smallest amount. Even my HAIR hurts if that makes any senseconfused I feel so guilty because there are tons of things that I need to do around the house but every time I try I have to stop and take a break every 5 minutes whatever If PiratePete were here then I would feel better already because just having him around when I am not feeling good seems to make me betterwink Guess I'll just have to tough it out for another 16 weeks until he is finally home with me. I CAN'T WAIT!!!!biggrin

Well - I have used up all of my energy for the next little while typing this so now it is time to go rest for a bit (how pathetic eh?)frown

Hope everyone is doing ok - and please go wish Pete well since his ship is leaving on Monday to god knows where for the next 3 months. frown Makes me scared that he may be going to somewhere dangerous even though he is just doing some training. It is the locals I am worried about - do THEY know that these Sailors and Marines are just training? eeek

SEPTEMBER 12, 2008 @ 12:23 AM | 20 COMMENTS

Story of the day....................

HOLY SHIT!!! WhiteWidow has hit a lucky bump in the road of life eeek

Today started out like any other day.....kittens waking me up at 4am to "play". Todays play time consisted of me scooting them out of the bedroom with a few favorite toys to play with so "mommy" could get some much needed sleep before this BIG day started.

Of course if you read my last post, I was waiting to hear from this show:



regarding a possible appearance involving an "Unusual Talent". Well - I got the call late last night and was on the road this afternoon for the second time this week to Warner Brothers Studio #19. Ellen is an amazing woman and sooooo friendly. It is funny - I have been performing for years and yet I was terrified the whole time leading up to when she called me out of the audience but once I was up there she made me feel so relaxed that I forgot about the live audience and cameras all around me. Of course I think that you can still see the terror on my face but I assure you - I HAD A BLAST!!!!biggrinbiggrin

Thats not all - most of you also know that I have been unemployed for just about 2 months now as I wait for my dance studio to be up and running (well not MY studio but the one I was hired to teach at). Well - last night (before I got the call from the Ellen show) I found out that my classes went from 2 a week up to 10 + private lessons that people have already been signing up foreeek This is awsome!!!!!biggrinbiggrinbiggrin

To top off the entire good luck experience....on my way to the Ellen show I got a call about a part time medical job in the area and was hired on the spot without an intervieweeek I still can't belive that all of this is happening at the same time. I am actually happy that this job is only part time because it sounds like the teaching job is going to be more work than I thoughtconfused

So - to recap.......

#1 - I will be on Ellen MONDAYeeek eeek eeek eeek eeek eeek eeek

#2 - My studio opens Oct 4th with FULL CLASSESbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin

#3 - I start my new medical job MONDAY eeek biggrin eeek biggrin eeek biggrin

Talk about being blessed by the good luck fairywink

SEPTEMBER 9, 2008 @ 05:39 PM | 11 COMMENTS

Story of the day...................

*WARNING - LONG STORY AHEAD*

Well - my parents came out to visit last weekbiggrin but they left todayfrown

I hate saying goodbye - especially since I am all alone right now. It was nice to have family here to hang out with while Pete is away. Not that I don't hang out with Petes family at all - it is just nice to see my parents since I only get to about 1-2 times a yearfrown

We had an awsome time - heres how it all went down.....

My parents arrived late Monday night and got the offical tour of the house and kittens before settling in for the night.

Day #1 - was spent just puttering around the area as well as the base. I had to go to the base to get my parents their tickets to Universal Studios and Disneyland and was so excited that they got me passes to come join them. I also stopped in at the Naval Hospital to look for any job openings and was pointed in the right direction (I hope at least). Dad also spent the afternoon doing some odd jobs that needed to be done around the house that I wasn't able to take care of.

Day #2 - was the offical day of shopping for mom and dad. I don't know what happended to them because they use to HATE shopping but now it is like a hobby for them. I also applied for a Security job while we were on the hunt for anything and everything under the sun that they could pack in their suitcases.

Day #3 - was my first trip to Universal Studios and my parents second. I finally got to see the Backdraft show and ride the studio tour tram (twice) I also went into the House of Horrors. For those of you who haven't been in it and want to go be warned....there are live actors in there that will (and I say that firmly) scare the crap out of you. Did you know that if the first actor manages to scare you, he radios to the rest of them to flag you?? Oh yes they do. I think that I bruised "Chuckys' ribs when I punched him. Hey HE jumped out at ME....not my fault. The studio tour was ok but rather sad. The only set I really wanted to see (for nostalgia reasons) was the Back to the Future set and my heart broke when we got there to find that it burned during the wild fires last year. They are planning on rebuilding it but you all know it won't be the samefrown

Day #4 - the first of our 2 days in Disneyland. As always - it was awsome - enough saidwink

Day $5 - second day of Disneyland as well as my 3rd Disney audition (which will be my last). The audition was a total waste of my timewhatever They had already promised the cast from last years Christmas Parade their roles back so there really wasn't a need for the audition - they all got hired back on. Oh well - I got to hang out with clarkekid and my parents. I love hanging out with him which is why I am sad that we don't get to as often as we likefrown Oh well - what time we had together was funsmile That evening I had to deal with a "friend" who had taken advantage of my being nice to her and since this is suppose to be a fun blog about my parents trip down I won't vent here. Long story short - I helped her out - last time EVER!!!!!mad

Day#6 - got a call back for the security job I applied for when my parents were shopping so I had an interview with them. I think it went ok but I haven't heard back as of todayconfused We also went to visit Petes mom and step mom which is always fun to dosmile Plans were made for the next time my parents visit in December and fun times were had.

Day #7 - we went to see



for the second time. I don't know HOW we managed but we got the exact same guest as last time - Pam Anderson shocked She is a nice person but I was hoping to see someone else this time. Oh well - it was still funsmile Oh yeah!! What is better than winning a t shirt in a dance contest at Ellen?? Winning a second one the second time you go to the show!!!!!!tongue Thats right - I did it again!!! They picked me out of the audience to dance before the show started to be a contestant for an "I danced with Ellen" T shirt. I didnt get a picture of it yet but now I have 2 in my closettongue I think I am going to make it a goal to win one every time I go see her. The show we were in teh audience for will air tomorrowwink

On a totally DIFFERENT note about the Ellen show......They had us fill out these questionairs and asked if we had "unusual talents". I listed a couple that I had and was pulled aside after the show to film them for the producers. I didn't think anything of it because I am sure they get thousands of people who can do amazing things. Well - today just after my parents leftfrown I got a call from the show asking how far away I lived from the studio and if I was availible to come back on Thursday eeek eeek eeek eeek I had to make a video of my "talents" and am just waiting for them to email me the address to send it to. Holy crap - I may be ON the Ellen show rather than just in the audience!!!!! More to follow as I find outwink

Other than that I am just feeling really lonely now that mom and dad left. I know that they are back in December but I am still waiting for a job. Still looking and praying that somthing comes along soon. I don't know what to think right now but somthing has to be around the corner - I feel it.

Anyways - I think I have rambled on long enough. I hope that everyone is happy and healthy. If you have a free moment pop by PiratePete's journal to say hi - I know he is very lonely and homesick and now that he is getting ready to head out on ship I won't get to talk to him at all (or very little) until he returnes back to Okinawa in Decemberfrown

Anways - thats all.



*UPDATE*

eeek*MORE TO FOLLOW*MORE TO FOLLOW*MORE TO FOLLOW*MORE TO FOLLOW*eeek
AUGUST 30, 2008 @ 12:37 AM | 18 COMMENTS

Story of the day....................

OK - Mini melt down is over now confused

I had a bad case of the "Nobody Loves Me Blues" last week and I felt like I had finally hit rock bottom.

This week things seem to be better - I mean I am still not working which sucks ass but knowing that I am doing everything in my power to find a full time job makes me feel better about the situation at least. It doesn't pay my bills but I am hoping that my unemployment starts up soon to help us in that department.

The dance studio isn't quite open for business yet since the construction is taking a little longer than expected but it is giving me time to get my dances choreographed and if I can find a few hours, get the music for my main dance piece composed. Sounds like we should be having the grand opening in the next few weeks or so and I can't wait to finally get back to what I loved doing for the majority of my lifebiggrin The web site still isn't done yet either but as soon as it is I'll post the link upwink

My parents are coming down to visit this weekend for a week and a half and I can't wait!! I haven't seen them since February so I am due for a visitwink They haven't seen the new house yet too so I am excited for them to see our first home blush From what my mom said they are taking me to Disneyland for a couple of days, to Universal Studios since I haven't been yet. Also, for the second time mom and I are going to see

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and I CAN'T WAIT!!!!!! biggrin biggrin biggrin biggrin The first time we saw her last year we had such a good time and I got to dance with Ellen eeek I even won this shirt during a dance contest they had during a commercial breaktongue

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Speaking of dancing.........they started to reair the latest season of "So You Think You Can Dance" again and this time I caught somthing I hadn't before and for this reason I love You Tube. Most of you know that I auditioned for the show this year but due to a certain dancer that got in line right behind me, no other dancer within 50 ahead or behind this guy was even considered. Please observe the following video and pay attention to the people behind "Sex's" mother while she is talking to the camera. If you freeze the frame at 21 seconds you can see PiratePete and I (top left of the frame) look directly at the camera. By this point I was pissed off that the media had taken notice to this guy and was treating the situation like a 3 ring circus mad Several months after this audition though I can look back and laugh at the situation. We both didn't sleep prior to getting in line at 4am to sit for hours on end outside. Then after finally getting into the theatre 6 hours later I got forgotten in the audition room for 2 hours before being told to dance Hip Hop (a style I haven't been trained in since 1993) only to be told thanks for coming. Oh well - it was an experience right?? Anyways - don't forget - 21 seconds into the videowink



A couple of weeks ago I spent some time on my carpenter skills making a "Pig Pen" for our back yard for our guinea pigs (Mickey and Lucy) to go in. I made it big enough that our cats ( Nero and Sabina) could use it too since they are not out door kitties. For not being a carpenter I think that it turned out ok - not how I had hoped but it workes anways. The only thing that really sucked about making this pen was the fact that I lost the top half of my big toe when I dropped a 2x4 on it eeek



Well - other than that I think I have rambled on enough for one entry. I should get to bed - I am pretty tired and yesterday I managed to "Sun Fuck" myself blackeyed but that is another story in itself and I just don't have the energy to type it all out. Long story short - went outside with no sunscreen, passed out, sunburned myself, lesson learnedwink

Hope everyone is well and once again PiratePetes mailing addresssmile

HM2 Peter Anthony Poole
3/1 H&S Company (BAS)
Unit 40220
FPO AP 96609-0220

I miss him like crazyfrown Who wouldn't love this facewink

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I don't know when I'll be able to get on here again what with my parents being in town and all but I'll trywink For now I'll just say:

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AUGUST 22, 2008 @ 01:53 AM | 10 COMMENTS

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AUGUST 20, 2008 @ 10:13 PM | 5 COMMENTS

Story of the day............................

First off I wanna say thank you to everyone who wished Lucy wellsmile I am happy to say that she is going to be finebiggrinbiggrinbiggrinbiggrin She had parasites in her intestine (that she managed to pick up from the grass in our back yard) that thankfully the other little piggy didn't get while he was back there too. The vet told me that if I hadn't gotten her there within about another hour then I would not have her here with me todayfrown At first he gave me 3 options when we got to the ER:

#1 - take her home and let nature take its coursefrown

#2 - Pay $150 to have her put to sleepfrown

#3 - Pay $245 to take the chance of giving her shots and oral meds to try and fix the problemconfused


What pet owner wouldn't give their animal a fair shot at life?? Even with the fact that I am not working right now and money is REALLY tight I didn't even hesitate to make choice #3tongue The tech that assisted with the injections told me that within 15 minutes of the first shot they knew she would pull through. Today I know she is ok because it was the first day that she refused to let me give her the medstongue She is subborn just like her momwink

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In the job hunting story whatever I bet I have bout 200 resume and applications out and still nothingfrown I have high hopes for a job that closes on Friday though that I am keeping my fingers crossed for. It is one of those jobs that most people would pass over in a minute but it is somthing right up my alley. Deputy Coroner Assistantbiggrin Basically I would be learning on the job to become a Deputy Coroner within about a years time. This also means that I would be in a job that once again I would be armed (at least I think I would be)confused*Insert HAPPY DANCE here*biggrin In any case - I have also applied to just about every hospital, Drs office, warehouse, retail store and even Mc Donalds. I don't really care where I work just as long as I am working. I have an interview with a temp agency (or placement agency as they put it) on Monday so I hope that they can assist me in finding somthing fast. I also got a call back for a casual job administering injections and stuff but that is a very very casual job that would mean a weekend here, a day there but at least it is a start. Even if I find a full time job then this one can be for "fun money" or somthingwink

I am missing Pete like crazyfrown I know that it is part of military life (boy do I ever) but the heart has problems with missing the one you lovefrown Oh well - we are down to 18 weeks leftbiggrinbiggrin Doesn't sound so bad when you put it like that. He got to go to Iwa Jima yesterday and I can't wait to see the pictures. I believe he got to go to the famous site where the flag was put upeeek How cool is that?? For now my heart misses its other halffrown


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Last but not least - last night I came down stairs to get a drink of water and I managed to take the CUTEST picture ever love If you look closely you can see that they are making a heart shape. If I were a photographer I would love to try and pose to kittens together like this and they did it all by themselves eeek I think it is cute that they like each other so much. They should though - they are brother and sisterwink

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Just picture me clumping down the stairs, seeing these little guys like this, going AWWWWWW in a somewhat quiet whisper, running up the stairs as quietly and quickly as I can to get the camera, almost breaking my neck coming back down the stairs to find that they haven't moved a muscletongue

With that being said - here is Petes address (yet again):

HM2 Peter Poole
3/1 H&S Company (BAS)
Unit 40220
FPO AP 96609-0220

Hope everyone is Happy and Healthybiggrinkiss

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AUGUST 15, 2008 @ 01:45 PM | 11 COMMENTS

Story of the day..............

Time to update I guess. Nothing new to report though whatever

Still haven't found a job yet....and it isn't like I'm not trying. I have even applied at Mc Donalds (who said I was too qualified to work there) so the search goes on.

For any of you who are interested, I made a tour video of our new housesmile



Well - other than that I really have to go. Lucy is really sick so we are heading to the vet on an emergency visitfrown

Think warm fuzzy healing thoughts for her. I don't want to lose her at allfrown



With that being said - here is Petes address (yet again):

HM2 Peter Poole
3/1 H&S Company (BAS)
Unit 40220
FPO AP 96609-0220

I am going nuts not having him herefrown I don't think that I can do another 5 months apartfrown

Hope everyone is well.

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