Hey yo ho hello there!

So - Yeah - It's been awhile, yeah? What have I been up to this month? Let's go with a picture story shall we?

The beginning of the month brought Mardi Gras- yay! I went to the St. Martinville Grand Boucherie and watched this kid kill this big pig. Then they cooked it and ate it. Yay!

So, there was that. I had to fix a couple more things on the car, but all in all it is running great and I have been driving the hell out of it. This is the sign in the lobby of my auto shop.



Then I went to Atlanta for Valentine's week to help out my friends that own the pastry shop, Chocolate Pink (8th & Juniper in the ATL - y'all check that shit out - yummmmmmmy!). 'Cause they were BUSY as fuck. And I needed money. And they let me shoot a SG set there - coming soon - stay tuned! So I got to work in the bakery for a week which was fun but fuck those hours! I stayed part of the week with my BFF Michael, one of Pink's owners. I do believe he is the gayest person alive. This is him dancing with his cat, after he dressed her in a pink poncho. He is also a former hair dresser - AND - ballroom dance instructor - it's like the gay trifecta. Yeah.



Then last night I went to this bar.



Then today I found this lizard in my extra bathroom.



Here is a close up of him/her/it. I like the back feet. I named it Paco.



Ok - I'm out - More soon, I promise.

What what? Yeah - sooooo - here's the 2nd vid form our battle - told you this one is way better - enjoy...




oh - yeah - I'm still reallllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllly fucked up

I am so fucked up right now. I'm eating pills, and slamming beers, an smokin' out. But I can still feel shit so I gotta keep working on that….I just watched the Miss America pageant - omg. Seriously - sooooo bad. They had a "DJ" to "spin" hip "tracks"
= so sad so awful ........But I loved it - I love cheese, both the eating and the watching kind.,. Cheese is good.
So. What the fuck ever
Do you ever feel like your meds just stop working? Like one month, you're great and the next month you just wanna……………………I fucking hate that....
Driving around today I kept looking at every big rig truck and imagining myself pulling right into their lane and smashing the shit out of myself. What a way to go. But probably not a very healthy thought. I think about shit like that all the time -I'm always picturing myself throwing my body over railings, edges, cliffs, what not......
I used to work on a contract framing shop - that means we produced hundreds of framed pieces of "art" every single day. We had these large Rubbermaid garbage cans that we filled with scrap glass - edge pieces etc. Every single time I'd walk past one, I'd imagine shoving my arm elbow-deep into the shards. Shredding the flesh, seeing the blood run into the can.
My shrink says this is PTSD. But my understanding of post traumatic stress is that it consists of having flashbacks of past trauma. I have never, to my recollection, shoved my arm into a container of sharp glass, or driven into oncoming traffic. So, I don't get it. I think I'm just depressed. Tired. So, I'm drinkin' again. And I'm thinkin' again.

Back home. Exhausted. I feel like a ran a fucking marathon. And by "ran a fucking marathon", I mean "drank enough to make my liver scream while sleeping as little and as poorly as possible".
But - it was worth it - amazing trip and a nice escape from the hideous reality that is my life at home. Really. It's a fucking nightmare right now. I won't bore you with the details.
I had planned on detoxing and not drinking for a little while - then I looked at the calendar. It's fucking Mardi Gras weekend, people! And the Superbowl! All the locals are going to do nothing but party until Ash Wednesday. So, I'm jumping on that bandwagon and I'll probably stay pretty fucked up until then. And I'm not even Catholic. But, you know, when in Rome….

Quick reviews from the trip:

Music -

Foo Fighters in Birmingham - killed it - really. Shoved my way up to the front - I love general admission! Nothing between me and the boys but a little barricade and an old security dude - I almost charged it but thought better of it at the last minute. They gave the best long-ass encore set ever.
A trashy, trashy girl keep rubbing up on me during the show - which was both funny and scary - and then a group of law students talked me into going out with them afterwards - to a DUELING PIANO BAR. I shit you not - also both funny (VERY) and scary. Guess that about sums up Alabama for ya.

Marilyn Manson in Atlanta - Never been the biggest of fans but motherfucker puts on a really good show! He burned a bible and there were evangelical protesters outside the event hall so ya know I loved all that! Heathen, thy name is Whiskey!
I also got to feel the cool one-big-mass-of-moving-bodies-in-the-pit feeling, which I haven't in a while. I like getting bruises on my ankles and getting to shove people as hard as I can - and having people shoving me as hard as they can. A few terrified looking sorority girl looking types tried to struggle their way out - in over their heads both figuratively and literally. Panting, gasping, crying. It was great. Then there were the faux punk girls with glitter hairspray in their mohawk/liberty spikes. Glitter hairspray? Poseurs! Oy! or Oi! - what ever. So I spit on them. Yeah. I did. Really.

Movies -

3:10 to Yuma - frankly I was disappointed - way too formulaic
Juno - cute, clever, great soundtrack - I loved it!
Eastern Promises - Yes! Brilliant - Viggo Mortensen is fucking amazing!!!!
Bug - ok, I thought it was about bugs and I wouldn't watch it 'cause I have this huge bug issue - but I finally did and they aren't any bugs in it and it is a fucking great movie - very taut psychological shit.
Sicko - oh yeah - good stuff - fucking best rabble-rouser ever!


Food - skip it if you don't eat in Atlanta - although you should - it's fantastic!

JCT Kitchen - amazing - Perfect beef short ribs. Really. Perfect. Did I mention they were perfect? Because they are. Also a nice wine list. Very.

Watershed - My favorite fried chicken ever, never disappointing/less than perfect/bad in any way in the 8 or 9 years I've been eating it. With perfect mashed potatoes, green beans, and biscuits with honey and butter. Heaven. Only on Tuesdays and not on the menu - you have to GO EARLY and ask. Only 95 orders, each cooked individually in an iron skillet. After marinating in buttermilk for 48 hours. I mean, it's a fucking religious experience. It is not often you get to have a James Beard award winning chef make you comfort food. Go. You'll thank me.

Top FLR - Service needs work - a lot of it. But the food kicked ass! My paparadelle with duck confit, chanterelles, arugula and pearl onions was amazingly rich and satisfying. And the pastry chef's new menu, which debuted the night we at there, was beyond. Chocolate terrine with lemon olive oil and Fleur de Sel - ummmmmm yeah! But the pear tart served with Stilton ice cream was absolutely flawless - pure genius!!

So, that's about it for me - for now at least - Laissez les bon temps rouler, y'all!

Hey hey y'all!
Quick update as I am on a roadtrip - Car is great! I waited for the right moulding to come in and the back window is now good as new. I drove for 7 hours today and everything was perfect - yay! I'm in Birmingham, AL right now - going to see the Foo Fighters tonight - and then heading to Atlanta tomorrow. Will probably be there for about a week and then back to LA....
I just at dinner at Dreamland BBQ and ooooooh-wheee was that shit good! I had pulled pork, mac-n-cheese, baked beans, and banana pudding - Hell yeah bitches! A great foundation for lots of beer drinking tonight....and I'm cabbing it to the show so don't worry about me!
Stoked for the ATL - going to Marilyn Manson, a couple art openings, out dancing, eating, to the NHL All-Star game party - and - whew - shooting a new set for SG! Hopefully this one will get accepted.....
Ok - gotta get ready for my boy Dave Grohl - damn that man for being married! - see ya!!!

Ok - here's some complete idiocy to brighten your day.....New Year's Eve weekend a bunch of people I know from both LA's - Lousiana and Los Angeles, fancy filmmaker types ya know - got together in Baton Rouge and played parody commercial wars. (Yes - we had teams! My team lost - you'll understand why after you watch) We drank ridiculous amounts of alcohol & managed to film 3 really stupid ones - this is the least funny but thought I'd share it anyway 'cause the other two still aren't out of final editing - lazy bastards! I was the banana fluffer on this one - we went thru quite a few of them. The others are better so I will post them as soon as they aren't private on YouTube anymore...



You may recognize the actor portraying the "son" at the end - that's my friend Josh Perry, also known on YouTube as "The Retarded Policeman". If you are not familiar with his work, please enjoy - there are many of his vids online...here's episode one:



and my personal fave, episode four:

Ok - so last July I wrecked my car. It was in the shop and in the shop and in the shop and no one could tell me when I would get it back...Then, Christmas week my insurance company decided to total it after 5 months! So, I was totally screwed - I'd been making lease payments the whole time and renting cars and all that bs and was out a TON of money - still trying to resolve all that w/the insurance co. In the meantime, I gotta buy a car, right? And I am soooooo broke it ain't even funny. So, I look around and end up getting one on eBay. It gets trucked to me from AZ on a car carrier and arrives like this:



Yes, that's right - something hit the back windshield during the trip and totally shattered it. Nice. Who does this happen to???? Me, that's who. So, the dealer in AZ was super cool about fixing it for me and I got an appointment yesterday to have it replaced. Well, they couldn't come yesterday and so rescheduled for today. He came out this morning and oh, gee, they have the glass but not the moulding they need. So, now they tell me they have to order the moulding and not sure how long, could be a week. Well, I can't freakin wait a week, I have to be able to drive the damn car - so, now they are coming back out the afternoon to try and work with some moulding they have in stock. I just can't wait to see how this shit is going to come out......Why can't anything be easy?

On the bright side, I took it to a mechanic yesterday and it checked out great - only needed a battery and a couple light bulbs. And it drives really, really well - yes, I have been driving it around like this - I mean who needs to see behind them, right?

Anyway, wish me luck 'cause I'm heading out on a road trip this Saturday....

Know what's funny? A 5'2" somewhat clumsy & accident prone girl carrying a ladder up a bunch of stairs so she can change a light bulb and air filter up on her 11' ceiling. Not. I managed to scrape up my walls in TWO places - the freakin' stairs have a landing & a turn dammit! And of course almost fell numerous times. Geeze.

Ok, moving on. I got my wig busted yesterday and I am constantly amazed at what a bunch of pill-poppers there are in this town! As a sat down, my stylist/cousin gave me a lortab 5. Nice. Down the hatch. Fifteen minutes later the salon owner (also a friend) came by and stuck a lortab 10 in my hand. WTF? Then her mom came in packing bottles and bottles of pills and sold me some z-bars. Until you have bought drugs from a 70 year old black woman in house slippers, in the middle of a beauty salon, well, you just haven't lived. Better living through chemistry babies!
*side note - no, I am not taking the old lady's meds that she needs - she has waaaaaaaaay more than she can take - and shit, she picks up a little extra $$ - for sure mama knew the street value of what she was pushing - it wasn't her first rodeo, as they say 'round here.*

As we continue on the path of new year's self improvement (some would say vanity but that seems so mean spirited), I went to the spa today to have various things done to my face. Some painful, but mostly pleasurable. Whenever, I'm in a spa I try sooooo hard to relax and clear my head. Doesn't ever work. Same thing when I try to meditate of do "slow" yoga. My brain just does not turn off.....drives me crazy. Shoulda eaten one of them there z-bars but forgot - stupid me.

WARNING - the next section will probably offend vegans, PETA members and various other hippies. Read on at your own risk.




So, I live in a rural/agrarian area as I have mentioned several times. There is a LOT of hunting here. And it is deer season. This equals lots of dead deer. I am friends with a couple chefs. I have a super nice kitchen. What does all this lead to, you may ask. Well - it leads to someone asking me if they can use my oven to roast off the head of a doe. "Tete du Biche" for our frenchie friends.
Now, I am not a squeamish person - I am also a die-hard omnivore and pretty damn culinarily adventurous - so, I said yes. I will try pretty much anything food-wise. (I'm talking real food here people, not some Fear Factor horse rectum/hissing cockroach bullshit) However, this wasn't good. It took until midnight to finish cooking and I was pretty damn drunk by the time we tried it. The flavor was fabulous - but, it was like chewing the bottom of your shoe. A really great tasting shoe. So, yeah, I did that. Ate the face of a pretty little mammal. Bambi's mommy, even. And I don't care. So there.

Being the freak that I am, I had to play with the head & take pics before we cooked it. Here's my favorite. I think it is pretty:





And that is all for today. If you are in any way offended by the dead deer - shut the fuck up! I don't want to hear it! I warned you, fool!