Is really tired of all ths bullshit.

Work has been really slow the past few days. I kinda feel like I am going insane. I'm not used to being this slow or broke for that matter. I know if I just get a few appointments everything will turn around and things will get back to normal, but I feel like I can't do anything until I make money. My car battery also died and I don't have the money to get that fixed either.

I need to go food shopping, pay the rest of my rent, get the rest of my vacation situated, I want to go by a Christmas tree, get more protein, but all these things require me to have money.... I know there are people out there who have it worse than me, so I shouldn't really complain.

I just feel kind of alone right now. I feel like my boyfriend is looking down on me. But I am trying, it's not my fault I haven't had a single client in 3 days. I really just want to go hide and I really just want to give up.

Nothing super extravagant going on in my world. Well, except that we booked our trip for Mexico in January. Can't wait.

So after a week from hell last week, things have been pretty good. Starting to feel normal and getting things back to where they are supposed to be. Been talking alot about buying a house or a day spa. Would be nice to own something and focus all my energy into something new. I've been feeling kinda borded lately, so it's a great way to get me going.

Well if that wasn't one of the worst days and nights, I don't know what is....

Had a wondeful night with my love. Went and saw his son and then went to a new Italian place for dinner. Things have been pretty good recently, hoping they are going to stay this way for a bit. I don't like feeling uncomfortable.

Still have a little bit of my cold left. Dam thing just doesn't want to leave. But at least I feel like I can function and work, which helps alot.

Kinda bummed out I have to spend tonight alone. I don't sleep well when I am by myself. It's weird I feel safe and protected when i know my boyfriend is next to me. Tonight will be interesting....

How is it that i have another cold. Damnit!

Sooooo excited. My set is up on the front page!!!!!!!!

Went to the trainer yesterday... Ugh, I am so sore today and have no energy. But I went for about a half hour today. Just so I could say I went and I sucked it up, even if it wasn't for very long.

Set in a 2nd photo set and it got rejected I wasn't really that fond of it, but I set in in anyway. Shot on yesterday, so I'll probably send it in tomorrow. Fingers crossed.

I've been feeling pretty good that past two days, thank god. Off to watch the Bruins....GO B'S!!

Ever since the "wallet event" I have been having some crazy mood swings. I hate that I take on other peoples shit and it effects me so much. I feel like I need to be medicated or somthing. So I have tried to "zip" myself up and not let things bother me and ever since I did that I feel disconnected and and bitchy. Ugh..........

But on another note work has picked up a little and I'm trying to really plan for Mexico. I need something to look forward to if i am going to get through the next couple of months. I hate feeling this way, everything was so great and now blah. What sucks even more is I have had my bed up here for 3 nights and I haven't really been able to enjoy it. And I have had to go to sleep the past 3 night without a kiss