"Still Life with Woodpecker" by Tom Robbins.
I'm in the process of reading this book, recommended by my darling husband. I found this passage delightful:
"The day of the full moon, when the moon is neither increasing nor decreasing, the Babylonians called Sa-bat, meaning "heart-rest." It was believed that on this day, the woman in the moon, Ishtar, as the moon goddess was known in Babylon, was menstruating, for in Babylon, as in virtually every ancient and primitive society, there has been since the earliest times, a taboo against a woman working, preparing food, or traveling when she was passing her monthly blood. On Sa-bat, from which comes our Sabbath, men as well as women were commanded to rest, for when the moon menstruated, the taboo was on everyone. Originally (and naturally) observed once a month, the Sabbath was later to be incorporated by the Christians into their Creation myth and made conveniently weekly. So nowadays... we... are relieved from jobs on Sundays because of an archetypal psychological response to menstruation."
Pagans are the new age religion my ass.
I'm in the process of reading this book, recommended by my darling husband. I found this passage delightful:
"The day of the full moon, when the moon is neither increasing nor decreasing, the Babylonians called Sa-bat, meaning "heart-rest." It was believed that on this day, the woman in the moon, Ishtar, as the moon goddess was known in Babylon, was menstruating, for in Babylon, as in virtually every ancient and primitive society, there has been since the earliest times, a taboo against a woman working, preparing food, or traveling when she was passing her monthly blood. On Sa-bat, from which comes our Sabbath, men as well as women were commanded to rest, for when the moon menstruated, the taboo was on everyone. Originally (and naturally) observed once a month, the Sabbath was later to be incorporated by the Christians into their Creation myth and made conveniently weekly. So nowadays... we... are relieved from jobs on Sundays because of an archetypal psychological response to menstruation."
Pagans are the new age religion my ass.
You know what I'm sick and tired of? People completely disregarding everything I say in groups. Seriously. It's like I never posted. I hate it. What the fuck does a girl have to do to get in this secret club of adored board posters? And I swear to Goddess I'm going to remove anyone from my friends list who makes some stupid sexual reference in response to that.
You know what else I hate? People on here who think they're so much better than the rest of us because they've been a member longer. Good for fucking you.
I read a posting in the tattoos group that just made me want to tear my hair out. Something about 'I hate it when people see my tattoos and tell me about what they want to get. Hello? I don't care." FUCK off. How bitchy can you be? Another ten or so people went off on the use of the word 'tat' to describe a tattoo... WTF?! So now it's a social indiscretion to SHORTEN A FUCKING WORD?!?
I'm ranting. I'm drunk and I'm ranting, but God damn, does it feel good.
You know what else I hate? People on here who think they're so much better than the rest of us because they've been a member longer. Good for fucking you.
I read a posting in the tattoos group that just made me want to tear my hair out. Something about 'I hate it when people see my tattoos and tell me about what they want to get. Hello? I don't care." FUCK off. How bitchy can you be? Another ten or so people went off on the use of the word 'tat' to describe a tattoo... WTF?! So now it's a social indiscretion to SHORTEN A FUCKING WORD?!?
I'm ranting. I'm drunk and I'm ranting, but God damn, does it feel good.
PersonalDNA
Go there. It's cool. I tried posting my results, but it didn't work. Oh well.
I'll try again later.
Edit: I am an Advocating Inventor... wish i could get the picture result to work!
Go there. It's cool. I tried posting my results, but it didn't work. Oh well.
I'll try again later.Edit: I am an Advocating Inventor... wish i could get the picture result to work!
I think it's time for a new blog posting simply because I don't feel like the tone of my last any more.
I started a new workout program and made a decision to change my unhealthy eating habits. Laziness and fast food are out. Fresh foods and whole grains are in.
I knew what was good for me before, but I never really had to make a concerted effort because I was so active. I was performing in a belly dance troupe (Najmi's Spirit... we're on MySpace now... hint, hint 
), for God's sake. I lived in an upstairs apartment and therefore had to run up and down stairs several times a day. I also worked in a mom-and-pop type occult bookstore/ massage facility where I was lifting boxes of books every day, carrying display tables in and out, running up and down stairs to restock towels, lifting the boards of the steam room floor and seats, etc, etc. I never really thought about how much exercise I was truly getting every single damn day.
I also smoked about a half a pack of cigarettes a day. I know it seems cliche, but it does suppress your appetite. I quit when we moved here. I've been smoking one about every three or four days, but I see that as huge progress and pretty much don't care to work on it any more, especially with the stress of being overseas. I've figured out that I was pretty much self-medicating when I smoked pot daily back home. I haven't had any in... wow. 5 months now. I still miss it and I will again if and when the opportunity presents itself, but for now, I think the medication is very good for me. I feel better. I still think about things the way I did before (i.e. our ridiculous dependency on social conformity and fear of human suffering), but it doesn't seem to be overwhelming me any more. This is very, very good.
One of my good friends (and Najmi's Spirit member) back home has asked me to help design a tattoo for her, so that's a project I'll start working on. Her son's name is Falcon and her daughter's Ivy, so those are the two motifs I have to work with. I used to do a lot of henna work for my troupe, so it feels good to know that they approve of my artistic abilities.
So there you have it. Oh and I love WarCraft.
I started a new workout program and made a decision to change my unhealthy eating habits. Laziness and fast food are out. Fresh foods and whole grains are in.
I knew what was good for me before, but I never really had to make a concerted effort because I was so active. I was performing in a belly dance troupe (Najmi's Spirit... we're on MySpace now... hint, hint ), for God's sake. I lived in an upstairs apartment and therefore had to run up and down stairs several times a day. I also worked in a mom-and-pop type occult bookstore/ massage facility where I was lifting boxes of books every day, carrying display tables in and out, running up and down stairs to restock towels, lifting the boards of the steam room floor and seats, etc, etc. I never really thought about how much exercise I was truly getting every single damn day.I also smoked about a half a pack of cigarettes a day. I know it seems cliche, but it does suppress your appetite. I quit when we moved here. I've been smoking one about every three or four days, but I see that as huge progress and pretty much don't care to work on it any more, especially with the stress of being overseas. I've figured out that I was pretty much self-medicating when I smoked pot daily back home. I haven't had any in... wow. 5 months now. I still miss it and I will again if and when the opportunity presents itself, but for now, I think the medication is very good for me. I feel better. I still think about things the way I did before (i.e. our ridiculous dependency on social conformity and fear of human suffering), but it doesn't seem to be overwhelming me any more. This is very, very good.
One of my good friends (and Najmi's Spirit member) back home has asked me to help design a tattoo for her, so that's a project I'll start working on. Her son's name is Falcon and her daughter's Ivy, so those are the two motifs I have to work with. I used to do a lot of henna work for my troupe, so it feels good to know that they approve of my artistic abilities.
So there you have it. Oh and I love WarCraft.
A little explanation: The triple moon symbol is very dear to my heart. It is the symbol of the Goddess. It represents, among many things, the three aspects of life: Maiden, Mother, Crone. I played around with the 'wave' idea for another tattoo I wanted and decided to incorporate that into this one. I connect with the spiral shape too and really like the suggestion of either one or both in my design. I originally wanted black, with maybe some color accents or added on later in an expansion, but I think the blue is much better to give the watery feel and plus, it's pretty.
I like the trinity I maintained through the piece as well. I'm pretty pleased with it. I think I want this done on the back of my neck. We'll see though. I'm going to work with an artist in Tulsa and finalize plans when I'm there this summer... so long to wait. I'm feeling very blah today. Like VERY.
I'm fed up with people and their ideas of social conformity. Where are these 'normal' people? I've never met a single one. So why are we all trying to hide who we are? It's freaking stupid.
I'm getting more and more homesick. I hate it. I want to be happy here. I really think I should be, but I miss so much back home that I never thought I would (and so much more I knew all along I would). I'm looking forward to visiting so, so much... but I have this horrible pain in my stomach at the thought of coming back and I haven't even gone yet! I looked up ticket fares again today and I found one on United (the one we already have frequent flyer miles with) for the same as the 'cheaper' Delta flight I was debating about. So that's good... but then I decided to check on the flight from Misawa to Tokyo and all I came up with was half the price of the damn international flight. This is not making me happy at all. I need to go to ITT and see if they can do better.
I have an appointment Tuesday to get some prescriptions re-filled/ re-written which I've been putting off way too long. That'll make me feel good. My goal Monday is to call the vet (or go by) and try to find some in-home pet sitting service for Koko while I'm State-side... I'm worried about her being alone for all that time in our house... but I don't know if a kennel would be much better. Poor baby kitty. I should be able to take her with me if people can take screaming babies on planes. Do you have to buy a ticket for a baby? You have to pay out the ass for a pet... hmmm...
I spend entirely too much time on the computer. I have no motivation to change this, but I keep thinking it. I guess in Tulsa I watched t.v. pretty constantly.. but at least I left the house most days. I don't really know where this thought is going, so I'll just end it.
I really like the song "Lithium" by Evanescence right now. I listen to it a lot... that and that Amy Lee/ Korn "Freak on a Leash" remake... I think that pretty accurately reflects my mood.
I know in my heart that this phase will pass in my life. I know without the bad there is no good. Without the depression there is no joy. Without the dark there can be no light at the end of the tunnel. I just wish the tunnel was shorter.
So, I'm back... again... the first time SG stopped loading, it was only for a few days... this time, almost a MONTH. AHHHHH! I have so many sets to catch up with! Of course, I can't complain one bit about that.
So, to commemorate my return, I will tell you about my fantastically awful St Patrick's Day!
I've been trying to meet people here in Misawa and haven't really succeeded yet. A few random contacts, but no real friendships brewing... so, one of my husband's co-worker's wives (got that?) contacted me on MySpace. Her hubby got deployed for the first time (poor thing) and she wants to go out. SWEET, I think. I am so ready to GO OUT...
((Now, I'd like to open this up for discussion... what do you think of when you GO OUT? I'm thinking drinking, smoking (even though I quit, mwahahaha), music, maybe a little dancing, harmless flirting... FUN, FUN, FUN... so back to the story.))
She asks me to meet her at the Sports Bar on base 'around 9'. I suggest the Sports Bar because it's the one I'm most comfortable in... darts, lots of tables, rock/ pop music... there's also a 'club' with a dance floor and a country bar all in the same building... sooooo I get decked out. I do my makeup, I blow dry my hair (rare, I assure you... I'm an au naturel, wavy type most of the time), throw on a cute green top, some jeans, my favorite long black necklace, and some boots. I'm so pumped. AND IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! So, lots of people! I walk in at 10 after 9... and she's not there. No biggie; I order a drink (mmmm, Captain) and park myself at the bar, in nice view of the door...
At a quarter 'til 10, as I'm halfway through my second drink, she comes in.... with a drink (from the country bar judging by the glass)............ and she looks like she's just rolled out of bed. Ok, I'm sorry, but it's a BAR. It's a HOLIDAY. She's wearing a baggy hoodie, no makeup, hair in a bun........ I'm not saying I don't have friends back home who dress like this when we go out sometimes, but come on... so I try to shrug that off and make conversation, which is awkward. So, she asks if I want to go out for a smoke. Okay! At least part of my plan is coming to fruition! Outside we go... we sit down at a table and she starts venting about her life and how much it sucks... I barely know this girl. I try to be supportive... and still maintain my just-beginning buzz. Thankfully (in my eyes anyway), here enters majorly drunk guy. He sits down with us and starts saying how much he's had to drink and that he just wants to sit and be quiet. I'm asking him questions. You know, what's he drinking? How's his night been? She's just staring at him, completely silent. A few minutes later, his rowdy, drunken buddies find him and surround us. At this point, I'm highly entertained. They're all being loud and vulgar, but good God, what could be better? This is what it's all about! I grew up going to biker bars with my mom and step-dad... this is home.
She taps me and asks if we can go inside, looking very uncomfortable. I grudgingly agree and I bid the boys adieu. She leads me to a table in the freaking corner right next to a speaker... and proceeds to try and keep talking about.... her life and her problems. I wait for an opportune moment (hey! my drink's empty!) and say I'm going to the bathroom and to get another drink. I ask if she wants me to grab her one. She says yes. I ask what she's having.................. she says Coke. That's it. Coke. Now, I KNOW this girl drinks. I ask her why no liquor. We're at a bar, after all (where she, need I remind you, wanted to meet me). She says she can't drink and drive....
((I know this is a perfectly reasonable answer. I was planning on taking a cab or waiting for my husband to get off work... we had already planned that he would stop by when he was done... and for the record, it's not drinking and DRIVING that's the problem. It's driving and HITTING THINGS.))
She then says that she has liquor at her house though. So, I take this to mean that if we went to her house, she would be free to drink and would therefore have the good time I (again) assume she's after...... then, she asks me to go ahead and get her a Malibu and coke. SIGH.
I get the drinks, come back, and ask her if she would rather go to her house so she doesn't have to worry about driving later. She says yes and wants to leave right then... I have a full drink, crazy! She wants to just leave hers. I down mine, finish hers, and we go. WHY IS THIS SUCH A STRUGGLE?
We stop at the shoppette for mixers. We get to her place. She turns on first the music on her computer, then the T.V., then decides to again bitch about her life. I'm so fucking done. I have no buzz. I go through two Parrot Bay and Dr. Peppers (
) and she's still nursing one. I finally feign tiredness and hightail it out of there.
Luckily I have a third of a liter of Jim Beam Black left in my liquor cabinet (aka the counter) and I manage to get slightly intoxicated before hubby gets home (and have oh-my-God, oh-my-God good sex)... if it weren't for that ending, the evening would have been a COMPLETE waste.
So YAY for SG being back up!
(Pics from the infamous night below)
So, to commemorate my return, I will tell you about my fantastically awful St Patrick's Day!
I've been trying to meet people here in Misawa and haven't really succeeded yet. A few random contacts, but no real friendships brewing... so, one of my husband's co-worker's wives (got that?) contacted me on MySpace. Her hubby got deployed for the first time (poor thing) and she wants to go out. SWEET, I think. I am so ready to GO OUT...
((Now, I'd like to open this up for discussion... what do you think of when you GO OUT? I'm thinking drinking, smoking (even though I quit, mwahahaha), music, maybe a little dancing, harmless flirting... FUN, FUN, FUN... so back to the story.))
She asks me to meet her at the Sports Bar on base 'around 9'. I suggest the Sports Bar because it's the one I'm most comfortable in... darts, lots of tables, rock/ pop music... there's also a 'club' with a dance floor and a country bar all in the same building... sooooo I get decked out. I do my makeup, I blow dry my hair (rare, I assure you... I'm an au naturel, wavy type most of the time), throw on a cute green top, some jeans, my favorite long black necklace, and some boots. I'm so pumped. AND IT'S ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!! So, lots of people! I walk in at 10 after 9... and she's not there. No biggie; I order a drink (mmmm, Captain) and park myself at the bar, in nice view of the door...
At a quarter 'til 10, as I'm halfway through my second drink, she comes in.... with a drink (from the country bar judging by the glass)............ and she looks like she's just rolled out of bed. Ok, I'm sorry, but it's a BAR. It's a HOLIDAY. She's wearing a baggy hoodie, no makeup, hair in a bun........ I'm not saying I don't have friends back home who dress like this when we go out sometimes, but come on... so I try to shrug that off and make conversation, which is awkward. So, she asks if I want to go out for a smoke. Okay! At least part of my plan is coming to fruition! Outside we go... we sit down at a table and she starts venting about her life and how much it sucks... I barely know this girl. I try to be supportive... and still maintain my just-beginning buzz. Thankfully (in my eyes anyway), here enters majorly drunk guy. He sits down with us and starts saying how much he's had to drink and that he just wants to sit and be quiet. I'm asking him questions. You know, what's he drinking? How's his night been? She's just staring at him, completely silent. A few minutes later, his rowdy, drunken buddies find him and surround us. At this point, I'm highly entertained. They're all being loud and vulgar, but good God, what could be better? This is what it's all about! I grew up going to biker bars with my mom and step-dad... this is home.
She taps me and asks if we can go inside, looking very uncomfortable. I grudgingly agree and I bid the boys adieu. She leads me to a table in the freaking corner right next to a speaker... and proceeds to try and keep talking about.... her life and her problems. I wait for an opportune moment (hey! my drink's empty!) and say I'm going to the bathroom and to get another drink. I ask if she wants me to grab her one. She says yes. I ask what she's having.................. she says Coke. That's it. Coke. Now, I KNOW this girl drinks. I ask her why no liquor. We're at a bar, after all (where she, need I remind you, wanted to meet me). She says she can't drink and drive....
((I know this is a perfectly reasonable answer. I was planning on taking a cab or waiting for my husband to get off work... we had already planned that he would stop by when he was done... and for the record, it's not drinking and DRIVING that's the problem. It's driving and HITTING THINGS.))
She then says that she has liquor at her house though. So, I take this to mean that if we went to her house, she would be free to drink and would therefore have the good time I (again) assume she's after...... then, she asks me to go ahead and get her a Malibu and coke. SIGH.
I get the drinks, come back, and ask her if she would rather go to her house so she doesn't have to worry about driving later. She says yes and wants to leave right then... I have a full drink, crazy! She wants to just leave hers. I down mine, finish hers, and we go. WHY IS THIS SUCH A STRUGGLE?
We stop at the shoppette for mixers. We get to her place. She turns on first the music on her computer, then the T.V., then decides to again bitch about her life. I'm so fucking done. I have no buzz. I go through two Parrot Bay and Dr. Peppers (
) and she's still nursing one. I finally feign tiredness and hightail it out of there.Luckily I have a third of a liter of Jim Beam Black left in my liquor cabinet (aka the counter) and I manage to get slightly intoxicated before hubby gets home (and have oh-my-God, oh-my-God good sex)... if it weren't for that ending, the evening would have been a COMPLETE waste.
So YAY for SG being back up!
(Pics from the infamous night below)
I've been feeling kinda depressed today. I can't seem to shake it. It's cool though. I've been pretty damned happy for awhile, so I'm not at all surprised that I'm hitting the other side of moods. 
So here's a little rant for your viewing pleasure. Content: Female sexuality and pop culture.
So here's a little rant for your viewing pleasure. Content: Female sexuality and pop culture.
Yeah, I'm done. That's just been brewing for awhile... mostly since Matt's dad got a slingbox and we've been able to watch American T.V. again
EDIT: After a few comments on my MySpace blog, here is my response.
Hey everybody, guess what??? I have a job interview tomorrow! It's for a lodging clerk position at the Misawa Inn. YAY! I've been unemployed for about 4 months now and it was really starting to get to me... so wish me luck! See? I tell the universe I'm depressed and low on funds and look what happens! Ask and ye shall receive....
YAY! I'm back! I haven't been able to get SG to load at all for like four days... anybody else have that problem?? I'm assuming "no" since I have new comments and such... Oh well! It's working now!!!
I went to a BET Comedy event on base Friday night. Matt and I were originally supposed to go together, but since he's been on swings, I decided to go by myself. I mean, I deliberated right up until the last second on going. I had to go on base anyway to buy more liquor, so I decided what the hell? I've been looking forward to it since I saw it in the Leisure Times (our handy dandy little what's happening notebook... ^_^), so I just threw on some makeup and went. I'm so glad I did. It was nice to actually be out amongst people. LOL. I feel like I've been in a little bubble since we moved here and I love my husband to death, but I need some social interaction, damn it!
I had a blast. I met a girl while I was in line to get my first drink and she was very laidback and fun to hang with for the rest of the night. The comics were funny; the drinks were (mostly) good. There was a new bartender at one station that made me a horrendously weak drink, but the next one made up for it, so all in all not bad. I'm glad I went out.
Here's my drunk quote from my MySpace blog:
"I'm going to go watch some Family Guy and wait for the hubby to come home... and make myself another drink and enjoy my once-a-month cigarette."
I went to a BET Comedy event on base Friday night. Matt and I were originally supposed to go together, but since he's been on swings, I decided to go by myself. I mean, I deliberated right up until the last second on going. I had to go on base anyway to buy more liquor, so I decided what the hell? I've been looking forward to it since I saw it in the Leisure Times (our handy dandy little what's happening notebook... ^_^), so I just threw on some makeup and went. I'm so glad I did. It was nice to actually be out amongst people. LOL. I feel like I've been in a little bubble since we moved here and I love my husband to death, but I need some social interaction, damn it!
I had a blast. I met a girl while I was in line to get my first drink and she was very laidback and fun to hang with for the rest of the night. The comics were funny; the drinks were (mostly) good. There was a new bartender at one station that made me a horrendously weak drink, but the next one made up for it, so all in all not bad. I'm glad I went out.
Here's my drunk quote from my MySpace blog:
"I'm going to go watch some Family Guy and wait for the hubby to come home... and make myself another drink and enjoy my once-a-month cigarette."
WARNING! Valentine's Day details! Don't read this if you're going to hurl or get depressed or angry or whatever this holiday seems to make you crazy people want to do!
SIGH. All World of WarCraft servers are down for scheduled maintenance. Damn Blizzard. Lol... I've been making an ungodly profit margin on this Valentine's Day gimmick they've been running. People are so lazy... but hey, I can't complain I suppose. I adore capitalism. ^_^
So back in the real world (What?! Blasphemy! WoW IS real!!! "You can just hang around outside all day tossing a ball around or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters." in the eternal words of Cartman)...
I'm very excited about Valentine's Day tomorrow... my husband and I bought tickets in advance for an on base fancy schmancy dinner at Magnum's, our fantastic steak and seafood place. I really can't wait. Gives me a reason to get all gussied up (okay, so I mean I'll actually put some makeup on).
Now I think I'll grab a beer, put on some Family Guy (maybe Buffy later), and give myself a hardcore pedicure. W00t.
So back in the real world (What?! Blasphemy! WoW IS real!!! "You can just hang around outside all day tossing a ball around or you can sit at your computer and do something that matters." in the eternal words of Cartman)...
I'm very excited about Valentine's Day tomorrow... my husband and I bought tickets in advance for an on base fancy schmancy dinner at Magnum's, our fantastic steak and seafood place. I really can't wait. Gives me a reason to get all gussied up (okay, so I mean I'll actually put some makeup on).
Now I think I'll grab a beer, put on some Family Guy (maybe Buffy later
), and give myself a hardcore pedicure. W00t.