I get this feeling every now and again where I just want to scream and yell and cause a nice, big ruckus... just to make sure people know I'm here. It's strange because I don't consider myself to be particularly insecure or unloved. I have friends. I have a husband that I love more than I ever thought possible. Still, this innate desire to connect with people plagues me. I'm not unhappy. I'm not sick. I have all of my basic needs taken care of. What the fuck??? 
Yay SG. Hehe...
Yay SG. Hehe...
I haven't been on for awhile, so it seemed appropriate to make a new post... saying I'm uh... alive and all that jazz. 
Things are really good in my corner of the world. The hubby and I are getting along splendidly. He's going TDY soon for a few weeks, then home and off on leave for a couple, then another TDY. He's not scheduled to deploy again for at last a year though, so here's hoping.
I finally have my own car again (got in an accident while Matt was deployed last time, would have cost more to fix than it was worth so they totaled it, yada, yada...) so it's been nice to be normal and say, leave the house most days. Lol.
Christmas was good; New Year's was better. I'll add some pics to my albums, another thing I haven't done in too long. There's a new girl in my social circle that I don't get along with, so that provides a little drama for me. Hehe...
I haven't been doing much hands on art, so that's something I'm thinking about. I have been belly dancing and singing karaoke like a fool though, so I guess it's an artistic trade off. Lol...
I've spent a lot of time with a group of pagan friends that has been really good for me spiritually. This is the first time I've ever been in a truly united group ritual setting and it's wonderful. Yule went very well. My momma sent me my first actual cloak... and it's the one I've wanted for as long as I can remember (green and purple reversible velvet). It makes me happy.
So yeah. Update complete. How's everybody else doing after 'the holidays'?
Things are really good in my corner of the world. The hubby and I are getting along splendidly. He's going TDY soon for a few weeks, then home and off on leave for a couple, then another TDY. He's not scheduled to deploy again for at last a year though, so here's hoping.
I finally have my own car again (got in an accident while Matt was deployed last time, would have cost more to fix than it was worth so they totaled it, yada, yada...) so it's been nice to be normal and say, leave the house most days. Lol.
Christmas was good; New Year's was better. I'll add some pics to my albums, another thing I haven't done in too long. There's a new girl in my social circle that I don't get along with, so that provides a little drama for me. Hehe...
I haven't been doing much hands on art, so that's something I'm thinking about. I have been belly dancing and singing karaoke like a fool though, so I guess it's an artistic trade off. Lol...
I've spent a lot of time with a group of pagan friends that has been really good for me spiritually. This is the first time I've ever been in a truly united group ritual setting and it's wonderful. Yule went very well. My momma sent me my first actual cloak... and it's the one I've wanted for as long as I can remember (green and purple reversible velvet). It makes me happy.
So yeah. Update complete. How's everybody else doing after 'the holidays'?
Sometimes I just want to connect with someone. Anyone really. Emotionally, mentally, spiritually, psychologically, physically, sexually, any fucking -ly you can come up with.
So if I can identify that basic instinct (damn it, cliche, leave me alone)... why is it so hard to fulfill it? It starts out pure and ends up muddled and confusing.
I think I'll feel better when my husband comes home, but I can't really believe that that is all that's driving my moods and thoughts, so it's back to the drawing board.
It's strange to me that I can be so god-damned happy with my life and yet so profoundly sad at the same time. 
Thoughts?
So if I can identify that basic instinct (damn it, cliche, leave me alone)... why is it so hard to fulfill it? It starts out pure and ends up muddled and confusing.
I think I'll feel better when my husband comes home, but I can't really believe that that is all that's driving my moods and thoughts, so it's back to the drawing board.
It's strange to me that I can be so god-damned happy with my life and yet so profoundly sad at the same time. Thoughts?I'm getting really, really sick and tired of the argument that 'breast implants are body mods too'. No, they're not. At least not in the way you silly people mean.
Breast implants (and I'm completely disregarding those done for breast cancer patients, etc. here) are done for conformity. When someone on here complains that an SG's breasts are 'fake', it's because they look fucking fake, okay?
A body mod is something that typically steers a person away from society's image of perfection and in my infinite SG optimism, that is the whole fucking point of this site. Yes, with time, there have even been these kinds of body mods that have become ubiquitous (tribal on the lower back, traditional star tattoos just about anywhere), but this is still an alternative site and I would rather look at fifteen women with tramp stamps and red and black stars on their hipbones than one with Playboy-style DD fake breasts!
Breast implants (and I'm completely disregarding those done for breast cancer patients, etc. here) are done for conformity. When someone on here complains that an SG's breasts are 'fake', it's because they look fucking fake, okay?
A body mod is something that typically steers a person away from society's image of perfection and in my infinite SG optimism, that is the whole fucking point of this site. Yes, with time, there have even been these kinds of body mods that have become ubiquitous (tribal on the lower back, traditional star tattoos just about anywhere), but this is still an alternative site and I would rather look at fifteen women with tramp stamps and red and black stars on their hipbones than one with Playboy-style DD fake breasts!
I finally got my tat pics edited. Enjoy.
Also, what's up with the drama that haunts the beauties on here? I don't even really know what's going on and it's exhausting... so I guess I want to say that I love you ladies and I wish you a speedy resolution. I'll always be here for objective listening purposes. 
I got my first tattoo yesterday!!! Yay! I was nervous as hell, but I LOVED it. I still love it. It's about 7 inches tall and 3 inches across on my right ribcage/ side. It's a rose with a dagger growing out of it based on my favorite painting by Surrealist artist Rene Magritte, "Blow to the Heart". Unfortunately, I don't have a pic of it yet, but I think a nice new set is in order when I get back to Japan in a couple weeks so I can show it off. 
I was totally zoned out during the whole process. I was more or less sleeping... and being aroused. Does anyone else feel sexual during a tattoo session? It was like I was bordering on orgasm the whole time... and the vibration alone certainly wasn't helping my thought pattern... lol. Oh, I did some henna recently too. I'll post a couple pics of that now.
Hope everybody's doing well!
I was totally zoned out during the whole process. I was more or less sleeping... and being aroused. Does anyone else feel sexual during a tattoo session? It was like I was bordering on orgasm the whole time... and the vibration alone certainly wasn't helping my thought pattern... lol. Oh, I did some henna recently too. I'll post a couple pics of that now.
Hope everybody's doing well!
Soooo, I'm back in the States! I flew Wednesday... and arrived Wednesday, which is very disconcerting after travelling for 26 hours.
I don't know if I am experiencing jet lag per se, but I feel as if my body has reset itself to nature's clock. I am literally up at 7 a.m. sharp every morning with the birds singing (and I am an avid 'til-noon-sleeper). The same thing happened on the way *to* Japan, so I guess it's normal... at least for me. ^_^
My mom and I were born on the same day (best birthday present EVER, wouldn't you say?) and we're having a big blowout party here at her house Saturday night... very excited about it. I'm also a bit overwhelmed though. I haven't seen these people for awhile and I'm pretty sensitive to large crowds anyway. Yes, they're all people I love and who care about me, but it's still a cause for trepidation. My husband is also currently deployed to Iraq, which is part of the reason I'm here in the first place. I've gotten pretty used to being alone for the majority of each day and suddenly being extremely social again is quite jarring to my internal balance.
Of course, it's probably nothing a little presents and liquor can't fix.
P.S. Toked for the first time in nine months. Such a lightweight now it's scary.
I don't know if I am experiencing jet lag per se, but I feel as if my body has reset itself to nature's clock. I am literally up at 7 a.m. sharp every morning with the birds singing (and I am an avid 'til-noon-sleeper). The same thing happened on the way *to* Japan, so I guess it's normal... at least for me. ^_^
My mom and I were born on the same day (best birthday present EVER, wouldn't you say?) and we're having a big blowout party here at her house Saturday night... very excited about it. I'm also a bit overwhelmed though. I haven't seen these people for awhile and I'm pretty sensitive to large crowds anyway. Yes, they're all people I love and who care about me, but it's still a cause for trepidation. My husband is also currently deployed to Iraq, which is part of the reason I'm here in the first place. I've gotten pretty used to being alone for the majority of each day and suddenly being extremely social again is quite jarring to my internal balance.
Of course, it's probably nothing a little presents and liquor can't fix.
P.S. Toked for the first time in nine months. Such a lightweight now it's scary.
What I've learned (so far) from watching our new BBC Life series:
(It's freaking amazing. It's a 33-disc series Matt and I picked up off of EBay recently and it's all about animals. Eleven discs are devoted solely to mammals; five to birds. I've only watched six discs total so far, but I'm completely hooked. ^_^)
* The size of a monkey's brain is directly related to the number of members in that species' typical group.
* There is a species of monkey whose social 'pecking order' is so developed that there are actually several classes within the group. A member can be born into a high-ranking family and have privileges above all other monkeys. Example: a high-born comes upon a group of lowers that have just finished eating berries. Said monkey goes up to one of them and literally takes the food out of the monkey's cheek pouches. If the lower class monkey resists too much, it will be beaten by the rest of the group.
*In the rainforest, different species of monkeys will forage together and watch each others' backs. They have a distinct and different call for each type of predator and an appropriate reaction. If the call for a sky predator is made, every monkey within hearing range will dive to the ground without hesitation. In the case of the leopard call, they all move to the alerter to keep the cat, an ambush predator, in full view.
* There are about a half dozen different birds who will regularly substitute one of its eggs into another species' nest. In the case of a type of cuckoo, the hatchling will hatch a few days before the original occupants, push the remaining eggs from the nest, and mimic the hunger call of the bird now attending it.
* It is a common practice for birds to lay more eggs than they intend to raise. Unless the food supply is unusually abundant, the parents will either stop feeding the weaker chicks or run them out of the family.
*The blue whale's penis is 12 feet long. HA.
(It's freaking amazing. It's a 33-disc series Matt and I picked up off of EBay recently and it's all about animals. Eleven discs are devoted solely to mammals; five to birds. I've only watched six discs total so far, but I'm completely hooked. ^_^)
* The size of a monkey's brain is directly related to the number of members in that species' typical group.
* There is a species of monkey whose social 'pecking order' is so developed that there are actually several classes within the group. A member can be born into a high-ranking family and have privileges above all other monkeys. Example: a high-born comes upon a group of lowers that have just finished eating berries. Said monkey goes up to one of them and literally takes the food out of the monkey's cheek pouches. If the lower class monkey resists too much, it will be beaten by the rest of the group.
*In the rainforest, different species of monkeys will forage together and watch each others' backs. They have a distinct and different call for each type of predator and an appropriate reaction. If the call for a sky predator is made, every monkey within hearing range will dive to the ground without hesitation. In the case of the leopard call, they all move to the alerter to keep the cat, an ambush predator, in full view.
* There are about a half dozen different birds who will regularly substitute one of its eggs into another species' nest. In the case of a type of cuckoo, the hatchling will hatch a few days before the original occupants, push the remaining eggs from the nest, and mimic the hunger call of the bird now attending it.
* It is a common practice for birds to lay more eggs than they intend to raise. Unless the food supply is unusually abundant, the parents will either stop feeding the weaker chicks or run them out of the family.
*The blue whale's penis is 12 feet long. HA.
