so it's been a long while since i've been able to get on here, and not much has changed since then cept maybe for the worse..

I'm stuck out in iraq, and my girl left me by letting her boyfriend answer her phone, thought we were engaged.
My best friend is a lost cause, and the people here i'm with in iraq are fucking retarded as far as i'm concerned

But the harder life hits me the more alive I become and ready to hit back even harder. I'm almost half way done with this deployment and the worst has been thrown at me thus far hasn't even begun to break me.

I'd really like a new friend (female) that wouldn't mind seeing me when I take a break and get to come home this april, maybe i'll find someone, maybe i wont.. it doesn't really matter as long as I still got my crew in Detroit to go party with.

Either way.. I'm fuckin single, and over all that noise that happened a few months ago.. I'm more than welcome to start talking to somebody new and see how well it goes if i meet them.

Ok.. well this update can only be described as SHENANIGANS!!! LOTS AND LOTS OF SHENANIGANS!!

To start, I'm not at all bummed about that last girl working out, on the local Detroit Gotic forum, she turned out to be creepy, fucking weird, and extremly stuck up.. a classic troll in denial to put it simply..

But I'm back in germany... thank god.. things did get pretty depressing while I was home on leave, my best friend was ruining his life due to vicodine.. and an update to that.. he's now living out of his car.. his wife and him are through supposedly.. I don't know what the fuck happened, he used to be the coolest guy and soo full of promise.. came back a bit injured from iraq.. military doctors tossed him tons of vikes, he got hooked.. and it all went downhill from there... it's fucking sad to be honest... and I don't know how I can help him... he's in a situation i used to be in (thouhg i wasn't on drugs, just hard luck) and this situation is the boiling point, where it all boils down to the ultimatum, get back on track, or sink. I hope he straightens out and gets his life back in order.. I really hope he does, I don't want to see him give up.. maybe this is the wakeup call he needs.. but he's been my best friend for over 9 years now.. and the reality of the possibility that it just might be too late, or he's not gonna make it is just too close for anyone's comfort. There's not much I can do for him at this point but watch and hope..

As for other things.. I have found a girl.. soo effing beautiful on the inside just as she is on the outside. Been friends for almost a year now.. but she's been steadily sweet and persistant with me, so i gave in and agreed to be in a relationship with her and wow... just honestly wow.. iit's almost too good to be true, and she proves it's true all the time constantly.. I've never had anyone this loving and caring ever.. it's unreal.. but her kindness and love is returned 100%. There's nothing I wouldn't do for her.. finally the one has come to tame my wild heart..

Though I'm in the Army, stationed in Germany.. ironicly... her dad is a cheif warrant officer stationed somewhere in germany too... talk about playing with some serious fire heheheh... but ya know, life's all about taking risks and living dangerously to get anything worth while in it.. And the danger of this just makes it so much more fun... damn i have to be a thrill seeker in everything I do lol.

But that's about it for now, only a couple more weeks before I hit the big sandbox again...

Maybe I'll see her dad out there.. and be like, Yeah btw sir, I'm you'r daughter's steady boyfriend with plans of getting engaged to her after Iraq" My my my.. that WOULD be an interesting wedding now wouldn't it?

So I came home.. Saw this girl that had captured my interests... and nothing against her.. I was dissapointed...

It felt soo much like a brother and sister interaction when I finally met her...

I hate it when this happens.. any girl i meet in person that I'm actually attracted to is a drama causing bitch, or a cheating whore...

And the one's i find online that are everything i could ask for... in person it's just not there... and by no means am I shallow... however I'm expecting someone who takes care of themselves physically like I do by being in shape.

I know I'm not the sexiest of the sexiest guy out there, but I know i'm well above average. And when you see someone who's body just shows they don't make an attempt.. Well I don't think it's being that shallow, but more fair of what you're looking for. Shallow would be expecting something from someone that you cannot even provide yourself (hypocrite also applies here) I'm not like that. I stay in shape, I expect a partner to do the same, I have goals in life that I'm working to reach, I expect the same, I have no kids, I expect the sa.. well you get the picture right? And not just what I've mentioned do I expect, but also education, inteligence, class, ect. I don't expect anything less than what I am.

So... looks like I'm single again. I'm not bummed about it honestly, I'd rather be single than with someone that's just not working out for me, or has no hope of working out. I know what I want and honestly, I know I deserve the best. Though I hate having to end something for such a reason as physical appearance.. It is so much easier if they've no ambition, social class, class in general, or morals (cheating and lying ect.) (protip, it's not cheating if you're honest about it and have a mutual agreement with said partner) at least if they cheat I have a reason to be an asshole and tell them to GTFO with no guilt on my part. Eh, but hey life can't always be that simple... it's just how it goes. Just writing this to get some thoughts off my chest, thanks for reading

Ok something I don't understand... and is really hurting me right now.. is a situation that has arose. I've got my eyes on someone, and the feeling is returned. So we're practically almost a couple right now... now this I'm happy for, but... a friend i've had for 4 years.. We've been sweet on eachother yeah, but it's always stayed a friendship by her choice.. now that I'm with someone... she stops talking to me and takes me off her list. When I told her that it aint gonna change a thing, she's still one of my best friends that I have alot of love for. It's getting to me really.. 4 years of a solid friendship gone... because apparently she had other feelings for me but never let me date her. I think it's stupid and selfish of her to be honest. What the fuck did she expect?

I may feel the pain of this now, but I know it's her loss. Just damn.. what the fuck is she thinking.

So.. none of you know me that's for sure.. lol, but no worries. I've met a person or two already on here that seems cool to chat with. But for anyone who may be interested in knowing what I'm up to, well please send me a message and let me know if you're secretly reading these (doubt anyone is but hey, you never know)

I have 12 days left before I can go back home to Detroit.. and the shorter this number becomes, the longer time seems to drag on. I won't be able to stay in Detroit for longer than a week and a half before I have to return. But needless to say, I've been away from all my good friends and family for too long and It's taken it's toll on my heart. Especially since I'm looking at 12 long months in Iraq starting soon after my vacation. I'm not going to a hostile zone fortunately, but a whole year in a desolate wasteland is still a big deal to me. Also, I'm still a bit funny about it from the last time I went when I was in the USMC.

That's about it, I can't think of anything I wish to wriite about further. Perhaps tomorrow I'll update this again.

To everyone who's added me or accepted my add request, I want to say thankyou! I'm here to make online friends to chat with so please, don't add me if you don't intend on talking to me.

First time doing this site, curiosity got the better of me I suppose. I can be shy sometimes so please, feel free to talk to me if you find me likable or interesting. If you wish to know further, just check out my myspace.