Member: Vacio
hopeful

Vacio I wont deny it, im a straight ridah

I’m private
 
MAY 4, 2008 @ 10:01 PM

I have something to admit...well not admit but discuss.
Obviously im un-happy with my appearance, hence the eating disorders and self abuse...and lately it has all been heightened, theres just so many beautiful people in the world, and i really dont feel as if im one of those people.
A survey done in New Zealand on NZ woman showed only 2% of the population considered themselves to be beautiful, i really think thats sad, but i most definately can relate to that 98%.
Ever since i was just a young girl i wanted to be blonde and blue eyed with dark skin and a awesome body..
zoom image
Like her, fuck shes hot..people like her make me feel so fucking ugly and disgusting.
Or her.....zoom image
I feel so in-adequate when i look at woman like this...

I just had to get that off my chest..and shit i know i shouldnt compare myself to others and all of that but its just so difficult..
I think im feeling like this quite intensely is because of the comment my bfs friend made ..shit like that just really gets to me..
zoom image

frown whatever mad eeek shocked surreal blackeyed EL SUICIDO LOCO

Went for a bikeride this afternoon, freezed me ass off...am working on trying to look after myself..yes..why? because id love to look more like those girls above..


Comments
Frankus

Frankus

Tolleson, AZ
March 2007

MAY 04, 2008 10:05 PM

I'm more comfortable bad mouthing your boy than to say anything about your self image issues.
Either way I'm not gonna comment on either of them.
Would you believe me when I say I don't find that blonde hair tastelessly tan and blue eyed girls attractive?
In all honestly they're not attractive to me, I'm not saying they're not attractive cuz clearly there is a big market for girls that look like that
But there you go, I love your look by the way. You know that to be true smile

Frankus

Frankus

Tolleson, AZ
March 2007

MAY 04, 2008 10:18 PM

hardly, fake tits & artificial tans are not hot nor perfect ha ha... A girl who rocks with her natural born tits and body is perfect.
Those girls are trying to imitate perfect and in doing so became perfect but you need to remember they're only trying to imitate it

Lets see them rock the new in look. At least in America its in these days and thats the slim petite and natural look... tongue

Jozsef

Jozsef

Toronto, ON
July 2007

MAY 04, 2008 10:54 PM

They look like plastic dolls from a toy store. Suntans are a form of skin damage. Skin doesn't wrinkle from age but from sun exposure which is cumulative. With skillful use of photoshop, middle-aged, average women can look like tiny, slender, beautiful teenagers. I've seen it done. The only way anyone can be as thin in real life as cover girls, is to invent 3D, real-life Photoshop. Until then don't bother trying.

BTW, I think you look beautiful and all my friends think so as well. I don't have any uncultured twit friends, so that may count for something, perhaps the proverbial hill of beans. You are under no obligation to continue to wish you looked like anybody else or to believe that there's anything wrong with you. Appearance is only the initial stimulus that motivates someone to come closer and get to know you. You have it covered nicely and all the other stuff is there as well, so you will not be disappointing anyone that matters. I would say perfection comes vastly nearer to describing you than does ugly or disgusting. Need I remind you that no-one is forcing me to write this stuff.

Frankus

Frankus

Tolleson, AZ
March 2007

MAY 04, 2008 11:30 PM

I know what you mean
People tell me how I am not that bad looking but I see how most women prefer their men and I don't look anything like them

Its an ugly thing, supreficiality

Jozsef

Jozsef

Toronto, ON
July 2007

MAY 04, 2008 11:44 PM

Neither rain, wind, snow, or a crazed pack of wild and savage bungholes can prevent me from telling you the truth.

Frankus

Frankus

Tolleson, AZ
March 2007

MAY 04, 2008 11:45 PM

Yeah, things change and so do perceptions

Jamila

Jamila

SUICIDEGIRL

Oregon, USA

MAY 05, 2008 12:35 AM

Seriously, those pictures you posted, that first one in particular. Blech. Does absolutely nothing for me. I did the same thing you are for a long, long time. I was brunette, and taller than most chicks, and flat-chested and I felt like I didn't fit in this tiny little niche that was the only way the be pretty. I still struggle with it sometimes, but it SO doesn't matter, you need to find a way to make yourself believe that. I still feel my hackles raise when a pretty girl walks into the room, but I'm working on it, ever single day. The culture that women are brought up in teaches us to be competitive and to tear other women down, calling them bitches and whores and to feel inadequate but it's all a load of bullshit. And even knowing that, I know how hard it is. Your boyfriend's friends are assholes, obviously. We've all been there. Just work on surrounding yourself with people and ideas and thoughts that are good for you and removing the toxic elements from your life. New habits can be formed.
Sorry for writing a book on your journal confused

bald_eagle

bald_eagle

Indianapolis, IN
November 2006

MAY 05, 2008 10:49 AM

I hope you will take what Jozsef and the others have said to heart. You're attractive.

You could be more like those gals in the pix if you did what I think many of them did - have surgery and/or other means. I certainly hope that you won't do anything like that.

It all comes down to accepting yourself. Do that, and what other people say won't be so important. If you can't get to where you can do that, you will always be a slave to the opinions of others.

BTW, your boyfriend needs to be shown to the door. Seriously.

Gadget

Gadget

SUICIDEGIRL

Pennsylvania, USA

MAY 05, 2008 10:54 AM

I can look at woman like that and admire their bodies, but I can honestly say that I have never wanted dark skin. They're going to look like a baseball glove with straw coming out of their heads in ten years. Plus, I have always loved small tits. I find big tits a bit gross, but that of course is my personal taste. I think you look damn good. Those girls are made of plastic, you're not.

bald_eagle

bald_eagle

Indianapolis, IN
November 2006

MAY 05, 2008 07:26 PM

Of course you feel sensitive about it now. It's just been attacked by someone who matters to you.

Has it occurred to you that there are thousands of women who don't look nearly so good as you? Seems like you're making comparisons only when you don't think you'll measure up.

VvMartini

VvMartini

HOPEFUL

San Bernardino, CA

MAY 05, 2008 07:29 PM

thx sweetheart you made me feel better.And Doll you are not ugly at all those girls are just makeup,silicone,and fake tan.You are naturally GORGEOUS.

bald_eagle

bald_eagle

Indianapolis, IN
November 2006

MAY 05, 2008 07:53 PM

And yet you have no problem looking at other girls and thinking they look better than you.

True_LOVE

True_LOVE

Australia
November 2005

JUL 13, 2008 01:03 AM

Easier sed than done but you gotta recognize you're beauty. We're beautifully unique such is this path of life and the endeavour of self love. Without self love what can we share. Always endeavour.

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