I have been a member since 2002 and have loved every minute of it. Lotta love to all the SGs for creating such a kick ass site! Since I've hit 40 I am feeling way too old to stick around. Giving myself a bit of the dirty old man feeling and I think the time has come to say goodbye. Thanks SG for making the past 10 years worthwhile! xoxoxox

Ok, so it has been only about 4 YEARS since my my last post on here. I have not been active much on the site like I used to be. I havent participated in any group discussion boards or communicated with any people on my friends list. I have basically been enjoying the new sets when I log on and then signing off. I'm not sure why I feel such a disconnect with the site as of late. Maybe I am feeling to old to belong to the SG family. I know 38 isnt that old and I dont act or look my age, but when a lot of the site revolves around people in their early to mid 20's it certainly makes me feel old. Maybe when I hit 40 it will be time to say goodbye to the site I've been visiting for so many years now.

Feeling much better today. Went and saw a baseball game and watched the fireworks. I love this time of year. My B-day is on the 7th and when I was growing up we always celebrated my b-day on the 4th because the family was always together. Big family get together, tons of good food, then we hop on the Metro and head downtown to watch the best fireworks in the nation with the Washington Monument in the background.

Hope everyone has a fun and safe holiday.

Feeling kinda stressed out and down in the dumps today. Not exactly sure why, but then again that is usually the case when my depression hits. I can never seem to pinpoint what sets it off. It just creeps up on me. I sat down to write a bit tonight and tried to describe it and here is what came out...

Dark Days

Dark days have descended on my peaceful world.
A world once bright with light now covered in a dark
cloud of nothingness.

There are times when the clouds break and the sky
seems bright again, but those days do not come often.
But when they do, they are so magnificent.
They are so bright I can hardly see.
The world seems so colorful again, like a freshly
painted canvas, so shinny and new.

Why can’t these times last I ask myself?
Why must the darkness come?
Why must the colors fade away?
Why does the shine become so dull?

I try to fight the darkness and run for the light.
Running so fast, so hard but I can not escape.
Then, like unsuspecting prey, I am swallowed by the
darkness again. It drains me and then controls me.
It will not allow me to be happy. It is my keeper, my
controller and my master.

Soon I am consumed with sadness, no motivation to
escape. No will to fight. I can only wait and pray that
the light will come again.

Please let the light shine again!

Someone recently asked me the story behind the tattoo on the back of my neck, The Trinacria. So here is the myth behind my ink...

The Trinacria Myth
As told by Rosa Rizza, Siracusa 1996

The ancient Greeks traveled and found a land that was rich in oranges, lemons, beautifully scented flowers and lush vegetation. They were angry to think that the Gods had slighted them and had not given this land to them. They grumbled about it to the Gods.

The Gods not wanting to hear their moaning and complaining went up to Olympus.
Olympus had three nymphs who were very mischievous and always getting into and causing trouble. These nymphs would eavesdrop on the Gods to get the latest scoop. The Gods knew this and usually would be very careful about where they held conversations. This particular day the Gods were so weary of the mortals they forgot about the Nymphs and were discussing the latest mortal complaint.

The Nymphs were delighted with the tales of this beautiful and bountiful land and decided to go there. Without asking permission to leave Olympus off they flew. When they found this wonderful land, the first Nymph marveled at the rich black soil and scooped up a handful and put it in her pocket. The second Nymph exclaimed "you don't need to taste the fruits to taste them, they are so wondrous" and she put the fruit in her pocket. The third Nymph was enthralled with the scents of the land and she put the flora in her pocket.

They decided that they had better get back as they were going to be in trouble with the Gods for leaving without permission. As they started out one of them said to follow her as she had a short cut. On the way they flew over the Mediterranean Sea, it was so beguiling they decided to take a swim. While swimming all the soil, fruits and flora emptied from their pockets.

Meanwhile back on Olympus, the Gods were aware of all the Nymphs had done and were very angry. The Gods decided to punish the Nymphs by creating an Island and forever the Nymphs would each be bound to hold up a corner of the Island with their leg. Up out of the sea an island arose and Sicily was created with black rich soil, bountiful fruits and lush vegetation.

Athena took pity on the Nymphs and sent Medusa to protect them. The TRINACRIA, with the Nymphs three legs, the face and snake hair of Medusa and the wings of Athena, became the symbol of Sicily.

So this is my first official journal entry. Not sure why I am doing it (bored maybe?) or why anyone would want to read it. But nonetheless I am typing... and enjoying my Tylonol with Codine and weed buzz.

I'm listening to a great CD (Bernadette Seacrest & Her Yes Men) that I got just from work. One advantage to working for an alternative newspaper is that we get tons and tons of great music sent to us everyday. It is like having my own CD store.

I couldnt be more comfortable, sitting on my couch with 2 of my 3 dogs and 2 of my 3 cats curled up next me. I feel pretty fortunate to be surrounded by such unconditional love.

I think it is time to call it a night. 3:37am and I want to be able to get up in the morning to watch some of the World Cup matches. So my pointless first blog comes to an end! Nite Nite