Well it looks like I was wrong about my last post.....
Apparently I was the bad boy the she always wanted but told herself she should not have. Well at least till now.
Hehehe.....Im giggly and giddy.......Like a slutty school girl in a testicle monster cave
Apparently I was the bad boy the she always wanted but told herself she should not have. Well at least till now.
Hehehe.....Im giggly and giddy.......Like a slutty school girl in a testicle monster cave
Ohhh unrequited emotions, how I hate thee.
Its a weird sensation to start liking someone your only suppose to be friends with. I guess it all come about as you get to know the person much more deeply. With most girls I meet and date, the more I get to know them and who they really are the more I become disinterested in who they really are. The fact that they are physically attractive begins to diminish, and all I am left with is a hollow empty human being that I want nothing to do with.
So what happens when you are friends with someone and as you get to know them, you actually like them more as person. The deep shit that they are afraid of the world seeing is something you actually like? And as they make themselves vulnerable to you, you find that you actually even care for them through their major flaws....
Then what......
They dont feel the same way for you, they only see you as a good friend.
In a way I just feel used, like tool for her self validation and to make her feel good about herself.
But at the same time, I could never truly have any disdain for her, I care for her too much....
What on earth is a man to do....
I wish sometime emotions could be just a switch that could be turned off....
Well that enough of me being a pussy bitch and letting my heart out....I'm going to go drink sum beerz and throw bottle at the wall like real man...maybe watch some UFC and talk about sports.....Scratch my crotch
Its a weird sensation to start liking someone your only suppose to be friends with. I guess it all come about as you get to know the person much more deeply. With most girls I meet and date, the more I get to know them and who they really are the more I become disinterested in who they really are. The fact that they are physically attractive begins to diminish, and all I am left with is a hollow empty human being that I want nothing to do with.
So what happens when you are friends with someone and as you get to know them, you actually like them more as person. The deep shit that they are afraid of the world seeing is something you actually like? And as they make themselves vulnerable to you, you find that you actually even care for them through their major flaws....
Then what......
They dont feel the same way for you, they only see you as a good friend.
In a way I just feel used, like tool for her self validation and to make her feel good about herself.
But at the same time, I could never truly have any disdain for her, I care for her too much....
What on earth is a man to do....
I wish sometime emotions could be just a switch that could be turned off....
Well that enough of me being a pussy bitch and letting my heart out....I'm going to go drink sum beerz and throw bottle at the wall like real man...maybe watch some UFC and talk about sports.....Scratch my crotch
Just got back from Vegas again.
The leadership conference was awesome!
And the nights were fun!
But after that, I realize I really need to get my "Game" back in order. Meet strippers, beautiful women and fun party girls everywhere who I couldn't approach.
The leadership conference was awesome!
And the nights were fun!
But after that, I realize I really need to get my "Game" back in order. Meet strippers, beautiful women and fun party girls everywhere who I couldn't approach.
GAY PRIDE DAY!!!!
It was a blast yesterday!
As per norm, my fraternity does security for the beer gardens at gay pride. Also as per norm, we had a fantastic time doing it! (Security, not each other)
My Alumni Adviser also seems to want to set me up with a one of his friend's strait daughters, mind you it could have also been a drag queen, dont know yet. Haven't meet her. A bit of a weird venue to meet a girl I must say.
But the most magical part of it all was just how pure and happy the energy was in that crowd. It was like a big open rave with less drugs (at least that I saw), but all the easy going attitudes. I really felt energized by the event!
After that, me and Theo hit up some bars on Whtye ave and practiced a bit of pick up. It was the first time in the field for a while, so I was rusty as hell, but in the end we had a great time hanging out with a group of lesbians that where on their stagget party, a bunch of girl that would not let us leave the dance floor and some FIJIs out on their birthday romp. Seeing Warren drunk was also fun
It was a blast yesterday!
As per norm, my fraternity does security for the beer gardens at gay pride. Also as per norm, we had a fantastic time doing it! (Security, not each other)
My Alumni Adviser also seems to want to set me up with a one of his friend's strait daughters, mind you it could have also been a drag queen, dont know yet. Haven't meet her. A bit of a weird venue to meet a girl I must say.
But the most magical part of it all was just how pure and happy the energy was in that crowd. It was like a big open rave with less drugs (at least that I saw), but all the easy going attitudes. I really felt energized by the event!
After that, me and Theo hit up some bars on Whtye ave and practiced a bit of pick up. It was the first time in the field for a while, so I was rusty as hell, but in the end we had a great time hanging out with a group of lesbians that where on their stagget party, a bunch of girl that would not let us leave the dance floor and some FIJIs out on their birthday romp. Seeing Warren drunk was also fun
Intox was a fantastic rave!
Had a blast with me friends dance all night.
Only issue was that one of my exs from like 3 years ago was giving me dirty looks all night. When Ever I went into a room that she was in, she left. She got her current BF or friends (not sure) to come and see if I was me so to speak.
In all honesty I would have like to thank her, her breaking up with me was a very important part of my life, she was very honest why she broke up with me and it was a cold sober slap in the face that I needed to turn my life around. It was the lesson I needed to learn in order to gain self confidence and be more of a man.
Maybe Next time I will get the chance to approach her and tell this.
Then maybe she will stop giving me such evil glares.
Had a blast with me friends dance all night.
Only issue was that one of my exs from like 3 years ago was giving me dirty looks all night. When Ever I went into a room that she was in, she left. She got her current BF or friends (not sure) to come and see if I was me so to speak.
In all honesty I would have like to thank her, her breaking up with me was a very important part of my life, she was very honest why she broke up with me and it was a cold sober slap in the face that I needed to turn my life around. It was the lesson I needed to learn in order to gain self confidence and be more of a man.
Maybe Next time I will get the chance to approach her and tell this.
Then maybe she will stop giving me such evil glares.
Holy Shit Im alive!!!!
Got rowdy drunk last night after finishing my collective memory presentation in my psych 405 class.
Feel so damn good to get that class done.
The best part of the night was me and Eric totally patching things up between us over the whole Vegas girl thing.
Dont get me wrong, It was expected that thing were going to be patched up quick, I mean we are brothers and all, but it still feels good.
Got rowdy drunk last night after finishing my collective memory presentation in my psych 405 class.
Feel so damn good to get that class done.
The best part of the night was me and Eric totally patching things up between us over the whole Vegas girl thing.
Dont get me wrong, It was expected that thing were going to be patched up quick, I mean we are brothers and all, but it still feels good.
Life is damn wild.....
Cliffs notes for Bryan's Vegas Adventure.
Party hard
Saw lots of boobs
Had a blast
DJ'ed a killer set on a boat
Saw lots of penis
Hiked and rock climbed
Cliff jumping
got the </3 when found out that girl I like and my best friend were getting it on
Told best friend that its all good and he deserved a good girl like that
Learn a hit load of life lessons and great stories
Day 0
OK I head out to Vegas with the brothers for some house boating and fun before finals.
Awesome!
the girl that I have a thing for decides to come too out of the blue.
Awesome!
Prior to that she and I are hitting it off great.
Super Awesome!
Well that how things looked prior to my wild Vegas experience.
Day 1
After 30+ of driving from Canada and 2.5 hour detainment by the boarder while they tried so desperately to get us to give into telling them where we hid the drug that we dont have, I arrive in Vegas.
Our car was first of the convey to make it to the stratosphere our hotel.
First things first. Drop of bag. Second get ripped.
We head of to Fat Tuesdays and get ourselves some massive drinks.
Hours began to fade, not sure what happened, joined in on a $20 all you can drink thing. Everything blacks out.
Get woken by my room mate for the trip Scott at 9:00 in the evening. Hung over....dont remember falling asleep or putting my stuff in my room.
Holy shit, what a way to start the trip.
After that we went to see a show called Bite. Topless Vampire burlesque show.... Surprisingly disappointed with their talent, but the girls were good looking. The rest of that night is pretty haze once we go back for more drinking at another room. But I do remember walking into my room to see my roommate passed out in the blow job position with his dick out. Poor girl, he passed out mid blow job. Poor him, he doesn't not remember who did it. Or that it even happened!
Day 2
I wake up and more less stick to my room for a bit. I look out side and see a fire. Someone car was on fire. watched as the fire truck pulled up and put it out. The funny part was that one blocks away another fire had started in an apartment house. They just drive around the block and put that one out after.
Decide to go explore a bit. End up getting in on the $30 all day buffet. After that we hit up the outlet mall for some shopping! Bought some shoes, my friends bought Armani suits for like $90. I get back the hotel and bump into Warren and Anne, we go out and buy some magic kits for fun. After that a bit of swimming before we ready ourselves for the next adventure. The semi-formal party. Get dressed up grabs some bubbly and drive in limo vans to go take pictures in front of the Vegas Sign. EPIC!!!!!
Just as we are getting back the girl I like finally arrives, just on time. Big hugs ensue!
After a bit of getting ready and boozing up me and her go for a walk down the strip. It was amazing!
All the hotels and hours of conversation.
Things are like magic.
On the cab ride back she cuddles up to be and falls asleep with her head on my chest.
Her roommates lock her out of her room by being to passed out. She has to sleep with me and Scott (mystery blow job man) in the same bed. He snores loud!
Day 3
We awaken and get ready for the trip down to Lake Mead.
Now one of my best friends Eric also seem to have a thing for this girl. Or so I could tell.
We ride down to lake mead and house boat and party the night away.
I spin an amazing set of music at the beach party an hour of Goa and an hour of Electro house. We rock the Canadian Boat. But the girl and Eric want to go off to bed early so they sleep together on a bed with 2 out couples. Later on I find out they spent the night making out.
Could not sleep that night with all the noise. Eventually give in and just go with the flow, sitting in a hot tube watching the sun rise with a bottle of rum in my hand. It was amazing
Day 4
Lots of hiking and water sports and cliff diving.
Amazing day followed by beer Olympics.
Party night away again and steal American boats flag and put it on top of a mountain with the aid of said girl and Eric, actually all my things happen with this threesome this day.
Day 5
On the way back is when Eric confides in me what he had done and how he is not sure what to do considering that I like her and everything else. I tell him that I can not control who a girl likes and that he should go for it.He says no that she seemed to like me all trip. But in the end I convince him to try and make it work with her.
I always seem to hurt my self so that other can be happy. I wish I was more of an asshole.
At least I get to see two of my friends happy.
Thats the trip.
There are more detail and crazy stories
Props getting "married"
Butler winning $3000 on a single hand of a poker game.
The orgy hottub ect....
But I dont feeling writing about those to much.
I just need to get some shit off my chest on this whole Kathy and Eric thing.
Grr, i know its not the end of the world and that there are tons of other girls out there. Im not getting emo or anything, it just kind of sucks....
Cliffs notes for Bryan's Vegas Adventure.
Party hard
Saw lots of boobs
Had a blast
DJ'ed a killer set on a boat
Saw lots of penis
Hiked and rock climbed
Cliff jumping
got the </3 when found out that girl I like and my best friend were getting it on
Told best friend that its all good and he deserved a good girl like that
Learn a hit load of life lessons and great stories
Day 0
OK I head out to Vegas with the brothers for some house boating and fun before finals.
Awesome!
the girl that I have a thing for decides to come too out of the blue.
Awesome!
Prior to that she and I are hitting it off great.
Super Awesome!
Well that how things looked prior to my wild Vegas experience.
Day 1
After 30+ of driving from Canada and 2.5 hour detainment by the boarder while they tried so desperately to get us to give into telling them where we hid the drug that we dont have, I arrive in Vegas.
Our car was first of the convey to make it to the stratosphere our hotel.
First things first. Drop of bag. Second get ripped.
We head of to Fat Tuesdays and get ourselves some massive drinks.
Hours began to fade, not sure what happened, joined in on a $20 all you can drink thing. Everything blacks out.
Get woken by my room mate for the trip Scott at 9:00 in the evening. Hung over....dont remember falling asleep or putting my stuff in my room.
Holy shit, what a way to start the trip.
After that we went to see a show called Bite. Topless Vampire burlesque show.... Surprisingly disappointed with their talent, but the girls were good looking. The rest of that night is pretty haze once we go back for more drinking at another room. But I do remember walking into my room to see my roommate passed out in the blow job position with his dick out. Poor girl, he passed out mid blow job. Poor him, he doesn't not remember who did it. Or that it even happened!
Day 2
I wake up and more less stick to my room for a bit. I look out side and see a fire. Someone car was on fire. watched as the fire truck pulled up and put it out. The funny part was that one blocks away another fire had started in an apartment house. They just drive around the block and put that one out after.
Decide to go explore a bit. End up getting in on the $30 all day buffet. After that we hit up the outlet mall for some shopping! Bought some shoes, my friends bought Armani suits for like $90. I get back the hotel and bump into Warren and Anne, we go out and buy some magic kits for fun. After that a bit of swimming before we ready ourselves for the next adventure. The semi-formal party. Get dressed up grabs some bubbly and drive in limo vans to go take pictures in front of the Vegas Sign. EPIC!!!!!
Just as we are getting back the girl I like finally arrives, just on time. Big hugs ensue!
After a bit of getting ready and boozing up me and her go for a walk down the strip. It was amazing!
All the hotels and hours of conversation.
Things are like magic.
On the cab ride back she cuddles up to be and falls asleep with her head on my chest.
Her roommates lock her out of her room by being to passed out. She has to sleep with me and Scott (mystery blow job man) in the same bed. He snores loud!
Day 3
We awaken and get ready for the trip down to Lake Mead.
Now one of my best friends Eric also seem to have a thing for this girl. Or so I could tell.
We ride down to lake mead and house boat and party the night away.
I spin an amazing set of music at the beach party an hour of Goa and an hour of Electro house. We rock the Canadian Boat. But the girl and Eric want to go off to bed early so they sleep together on a bed with 2 out couples. Later on I find out they spent the night making out.
Could not sleep that night with all the noise. Eventually give in and just go with the flow, sitting in a hot tube watching the sun rise with a bottle of rum in my hand. It was amazing
Day 4
Lots of hiking and water sports and cliff diving.
Amazing day followed by beer Olympics.
Party night away again and steal American boats flag and put it on top of a mountain with the aid of said girl and Eric, actually all my things happen with this threesome this day.
Day 5
On the way back is when Eric confides in me what he had done and how he is not sure what to do considering that I like her and everything else. I tell him that I can not control who a girl likes and that he should go for it.He says no that she seemed to like me all trip. But in the end I convince him to try and make it work with her.
I always seem to hurt my self so that other can be happy. I wish I was more of an asshole.
At least I get to see two of my friends happy.
Thats the trip.
There are more detail and crazy stories
Props getting "married"
Butler winning $3000 on a single hand of a poker game.
The orgy hottub ect....
But I dont feeling writing about those to much.
I just need to get some shit off my chest on this whole Kathy and Eric thing.
Grr, i know its not the end of the world and that there are tons of other girls out there. Im not getting emo or anything, it just kind of sucks....
Ok, what a weekend/week
Starts with me and my pledge brother Theo hanging out with Edmonton's Pick up Artist community and watching them in action. I always kind of figured it was just a book, or male fantasy, boy was I wrong.
These guys were amazing! I never seen girls drop their panties so quick. (I mean this totally as a metaphor)
Most the guys were fairly rude to us, but a pair of them seemed really cool and hopefully I will get to hang with them again.
Saturday, was work and rum with my bestfriends. Also met Edmonton's oldest punk.
Sunday, we win at Hockey, (Men's hockey, is the only one that counts, women's hockey is just unfair to all other countries, our women are just too good)
Then we had to cancel work due to our roof flood. That was a first
Monday I win elections and am now GM of my fraternity.
The week just keeps on getting more interesting
Starts with me and my pledge brother Theo hanging out with Edmonton's Pick up Artist community and watching them in action. I always kind of figured it was just a book, or male fantasy, boy was I wrong.
These guys were amazing! I never seen girls drop their panties so quick. (I mean this totally as a metaphor)
Most the guys were fairly rude to us, but a pair of them seemed really cool and hopefully I will get to hang with them again.
Saturday, was work and rum with my bestfriends. Also met Edmonton's oldest punk.
Sunday, we win at Hockey, (Men's hockey, is the only one that counts, women's hockey is just unfair to all other countries, our women are just too good)
Then we had to cancel work due to our roof flood. That was a first
Monday I win elections and am now GM of my fraternity.
The week just keeps on getting more interesting
Finally, reading week is coming to a close, after partying too much and reading too little, Im actually a little excited to get back to school sadly.
Oh well with elections coming up and our Vegas road trip in under a months time approaching I really should be focused on getting shit organized.
I still have to get my catering all set up for formal and start printing tickets too! Im so pumped about the "all you can eat east Indian food" we are having
As I start my cutting cycle of T-3 and other thermogenics to burn fat, I start to really miss my "eat everything in sight" diet from my bulking phase. But the most brutal part of cutting phase is now that I am fully recovered from by cycle, my libido is back in full swing and I am starting to feel lonely. FUCK YOU HORMONES, I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO YOUR PUSH FOR ME TO BREED, I GOT TOO MUCH SHIT ON THE GO AS IT IS! But I just cant stop lusting after all the beautiful women around me.
For starters at the gym today there was this girl with short dark hair, some nice ink and a kind of hippish gothish look about her that I could not take my eyes off her, and I keep getting the feeling like she was watching me the entire time too.
Then at work we got a new girl with short black spiky hair who's got a kind fo scenester emo look about her. And I just wanted to spend the entire shift flirting with her.
But I must hold back, do not have time for women, they are beautiful waste of time and money.....maybe that's just the bitterness and booze talking.
On that note I will end my rant and go to bed as I am fairly drunk at this point
Oh well with elections coming up and our Vegas road trip in under a months time approaching I really should be focused on getting shit organized.
I still have to get my catering all set up for formal and start printing tickets too! Im so pumped about the "all you can eat east Indian food" we are having
As I start my cutting cycle of T-3 and other thermogenics to burn fat, I start to really miss my "eat everything in sight" diet from my bulking phase. But the most brutal part of cutting phase is now that I am fully recovered from by cycle, my libido is back in full swing and I am starting to feel lonely. FUCK YOU HORMONES, I WILL NOT BE A SLAVE TO YOUR PUSH FOR ME TO BREED, I GOT TOO MUCH SHIT ON THE GO AS IT IS! But I just cant stop lusting after all the beautiful women around me.
For starters at the gym today there was this girl with short dark hair, some nice ink and a kind of hippish gothish look about her that I could not take my eyes off her, and I keep getting the feeling like she was watching me the entire time too.
Then at work we got a new girl with short black spiky hair who's got a kind fo scenester emo look about her. And I just wanted to spend the entire shift flirting with her.
But I must hold back, do not have time for women, they are beautiful waste of time and money.....maybe that's just the bitterness and booze talking.
On that note I will end my rant and go to bed as I am fairly drunk at this point
