jeez, I really don't like this new SG layout. It seems more difficult to navigate around. plus, am I an idiot or is there no bookmark button to see who in my friends list had updated? bad bad move, if you ask me.

In other matters, things are good. I've been doing clinical roatations at the hospital along with taking pharmacology and another class which I will not mention as it's just too silly. I've been spending two days a week on an orthopedic and urology floor. On friday we had a guy come in for pain around the bladder and after having the doctors inspect his urethra with a scope they discovered what they said was either a chicken bone or crab claw that he'd pushed up his penis. It was hard to tell, but it was organic and (after seeing the picture they took) it certainly didn't look like something i'd be sticking up my dick. If fact, I don't think I ever want anything pushed up there. there are some strange practices out there, folks.

I'm thinking of moving when I'm done with school. albuqurque is playing around in my mind. I've been by there a few times, drinving here or there. new mexico is super pretty and I really like the desert. I need to get down there and check it out. I'm a little sick of winter around here and I think I need a change. anyone been to alburqurque?

take care all and I hope your well.

my friends list just got two persons shorter. ah, well...good luck to you lost friends where ever you've gone. travel light and always treasure what you have. love, turk mcallister.

so, my two weeks of vacation are over. no more eight hours of sleep, alarmless mornings, reading for hours, playing piano for five hours, napping in the afternoon, or endless bike rides.

the next eight weeks of school are going to be very very very busy. I'll be alright, just crazy.

my darling L and I have been patching things up. we've spent the last five nights and most of our days together. it's not the flighty or giddy kind of thing, but more...what? real? grounded? I'm not sure. Tolstoy had a very good short story on this subject. it was called family happiness I think. It was very good. I love Tolstoy. when I was in college before and always broke during the summer i'd buy the largest books I could find so as to not be shelling out cash for books all summer and, one year, I read the collected short stories of Leo Tolstoy. I would read for hours and hours and hours.

Tolstoy died at a railway station running away from his wife whom he suspected of stealing his money. his last words were, "I don't know what to do".

hhhmmm. that probably doesn't help in convincing you he wrote that good story about family happiness, but it's true he did.

I must now go to bed.

I made a pin hole camera. it's awesome! I found the instructions on the internet and they seem to be from circa 1976. there are alot of pictures of kids looking crafty in bell bottom jeans and big collar flannel shirts. I'm very excited to try it out. they take such neat pictures. yeah, thats right - I said neat.



once I get some pictures taken and developed (hopefully it works) I post them here.

I haven't been here in a while...

things are good. I'm on a break from school - two weeks until the summer semester begins and it's a much needed break. the stress of last semester was out of hand. I strive to be the best I can be and it can take a toll. I went to the doctor and I've the beginnings of an ulcer. the product of alot of stress, an enormous amount of coffee, and aspirin for a sore throat. it's getting better. my doctor told me to stay off caffine for two weeks! it hasn't been that bad, though. I've cheated a little and in the morning I allow myself one cup of green tea and thats it. I feel good though. out of my four classes a got three A's and one B. I'm satisfied with that.

I've got a lot of things organized and cleaned - I took a mountain of recycling back to the recycling center that has been building up for months. the bills are paid. all my shit is in order.

I've been spending five hour stints at the music building playing the piano and recording. it's wonderful. It's one of my favorite places - those small practice rooms. it's basically a sound proof closet with a piano and you can lose yourself in there. time just melts away. especially right now between semesters when there's no one else around and I have the run of the place. I absolutely love it. I play until I'm sweaty and my arms and hands hurt.

I miss my ex. we go back and forth. I don't know what will become of all it. I find her to be a little gem. nobody else seems to notice, even her, but she is. there's no one else like her. she's got tons of problems but, you know, she gets me and I think I get her. we've got some work to do. active love is labor as hal hartley said. which movie was that? the unbelievable truth? I don't remember.

ah, well. I'm having a nice pale ale and listening to Beck's Sea Changes. it's one of my favorites. I guess I'm doing fine.

you know what? you rock.

two jobs I've always wanted to do for a little while:

bicycle messenger in a large metropolitan area - I pretty much live on my bike. I rarely walk and I almost never drive. I just think it would be really fun.

tug boat captain - to slowly wind your way up the mississippi? that'd be perfect. but only if I had a good supply of music with me, lots of coffee, and I got to spend the majority of my time in that glass captains area in the front. and I'm the only one there, too. this is a solitary thing. and it's fall so I can watch the changing of the leaves.

you?

I've been so busy lately and I've not been dealing with my stress in a very healthy way. I think I've been drinking more than normal. I just don't feel too healthy at the moment. It's hard to take care of yourself when your so busy, though. the other day, I got out of class and realized I hadn't eaten anything in 24 hours! I just didn't have time.

last night I went down to the music building and played the piano for a while. usually its a relaxing thing, but it didn't happen. I've got too much to do in the next two weeks.

after that, I've got a few weeks off and I'm definitely getting outta here. chicago or denver or somewhere else - not sure. A long train ride somewhere with a good book sounds like a good plan to me.

I love this woman...