Some nice (anonymous) person reactivated my account for 3 months. I don't know why, I was never good at keeping up with it, but my thanks to them never-the-less.

Now lets see about updating this thing.. its been a few years since I've been here.

Ahh.. there's no point in trying to keep this thing up-to-date. *sigh*

Woah.. wow.. I've been dead for a long time. The sun hurts..

Lets see if I can stay above ground long enough this time to make this site worth paying for.

I see there's still no option to make posts totally private from everyone. Why must we always have to put on a show? : /

Updating finally.. I changed my name as well. Shouldn't be a problem since no one knows me. ; )

I'm down to two "friends" now cuz I'm so inactive. I think I'll live.

Also.. it appears one of my favorite suicide girls left or something. Seda I believe her name was. Thats disappointing.. but its not like there's a shortage of possible replacements, there's so damn many girls here now. Too many *I* think.

Yeah so for the most part.. the past few months have been decent. Avoiding the opposite sex and pretty much anyone I can. ; ) I'm bummed cuz I recently got fired from the only job I ever liked cuz I tried to selflessly help out my boss.. as I've done COUNTLESS times. Unfortunately it backfired and a complaint was filed and the bitch fired me like THAT.. Thanks a lot. ALL the times I did shit for you, that I didn't have to do, but out of the goodness of my heart, I did.. and this is how I get repayed. Bitch!

Co says I'm just too nice. "You feel bad when you outbid someone you don't even know on ebay!" he says. It's true.. I do... I guess he's right. And it seems to do me more harm than good. Its some tragic flaw I guess.

I suppose I will update more frequently.. and fill in some more of the gaps of the recent expired time as well. I also updated my profile a bit. Searching for a cool new pic to add as well. Next.. moOsic.

Ok so who's going with me to see the Crue??

3/06/05

MCI Center Washington D.C.

I'm so poopy right now..

I left.. I left my friends hanging. I guess they're my friends.. But anyway I couldn't function. Didn't want to talk. Couldn't stick around.

I hate this fucking journal because I feel like I can't post anything without being like "everyone look at me" like some little attention whore.. which I'm not. Its like.. I mean.. its good for people that know you to know whats going on with you.. and why you may be acting a certain way, but thats it. I'm not looking for attention or sympathy or for anyone to cry over my problems.

I feel like I can't really post my mind. I feel like a con-man. Like.. how are you supposed to feel when you read it? I don't expect you to do or say anything.. But are you supposed to pretend that nothing's wrong? I dunno. Fuck it.

Certain people I can't stand right now because they are little immature responsabilityless bitches who blame me for their fuckups and try to manipulate me into feeling like crap for it.. and I'm losing him to them. And it turns my stomach. Not just cuz I can't stand them.. but cuz I cant imagine being against him. I don't want to. But there's nothing I can do to make him stay. Its his decision and its not an unreasonable one. I just don't like it. At all.

He'd rather be with them. I can't make him stay. Something else for them to throw in my face. The immature responsabilityless bitches have won.

Makes me wanna not be involved anymore. Makes me wanna just get rid of the damn thing. Find something else in my life to focus on.. alone. Again.

Dimebag is dead.

Hmm.. so long to a truely original and great metal guitarist.

~~

So.. my friend decided to exercise his "out" option at the last possible second. Thats right. He's not joining the Army now. YaY!

I had been thinking about all the wasted time we could have spent. Well now we have a second chance to be friends in a way.

I'm so incredibly glad. : )

Four months until nothing. Four months since I've been here. : P

Thanks for the welcome. I didn't expect anyone to say anything actually.

Its not bad enough that one of my best friends is going to Iraq this winter, but like one of the only local friends I have left just joined the fucking army! I could kill him! He calls and says.. "I joined the army!" I was like.. "Ohmygod you stupid bastard! I'm going to kick the crap out of you!" : (

Anyway, he leaves next week. And next week, I vote for a new president, so maybe my friends in the military might live to see 30.

4 months..