so i just walked back from class and it's like 13 (but feels like 4) fucking degrees outside, but the sun is out, and it's strange sometimes to be all dressed up warm as fuck and still wearing oakleys... that one, last little bit of summer on your face, covering your eyes, it's your mask, it's your safety goggles, it's your separation from the rest of the world. don't look at me. don't look into my eyes, i've got these fucking sunglasses on and can't you see that they've got POLARIZED written on them? i'm better than you motherfucker, sitting there, walking there, running back to your shitty little apartment in the basement of a building built back in the 60s but the landlord is trying all the time to convince you how nice they really are by just changing around some little shit like re-doing the terrible linoleum tile in the hallway and it's like what the fuck is that supposed to do for me? I can hear the neighbor's shitty TV upstairs sitting here in my bedroom. they argue too. they always turn on their TV real loud when they argue, like it's their mask, their coverup, their secret. too bad, motherfuckers, the walls are thin around here and i can hear every word you're saying, you don't fool me, you fakes, liars, cheats, country club golf hustlers. you don't fool anyone with those christmas lights on your balcony year-round. this ain't hollywood, and you're not a fucking pimp just because you wear abercrombie and get three girls' phone numbers in one night. jesus fucking christ it's cold outside.

algebra tests are the gay.

i was out taking pictures last night, but this morning, i was looking through them and realized that i took a bunch of crap last night. i figured the cloudy night and harsh shadows would work for me, but nope... i'm a retard.

next attempt:


tonight.

the house loves the heritage:

the house on paper street
warehouses
the house from "animal house"
the apartment from "half baked"
david davis mansion
906 west hovey apt 2 (RIP)
the prairie house (RIP)
the "B" house
noah wyatt's house
house on haunted hill
amityville horror house
bates motel (even though not truly a house, still sweet)
buffalo bill's basement
house of pain (again...not a real house)
125 n fair oaks ave MADISON WI.
the house from "roseanne"
hobbit holes
international house of pancakes
waffle house
halfway houses
the house of the dead
cat houses
house of 1000 corpses
fixer uppers
31G house
house music
light houses
wayne manor
house of the holy
this old house
little house on the prairie
house party 1,2,3, and 4
the money pit
the house from "nothing but trouble"
doogie house-er (ok, we made that one up)
the house from "home alone" 1 & 2 (but not 3)
doll houses
san fransican bath house
COMPTON
hull house
tents
houses in japan that have paper walls
dischord house
mr. body's mansion
house boats
lion dens
longhouses (possibly wig-wam's and teepee's)
nestle toll house cookies
igloos
sharon tate mansion
wayne's basement
telephone booth from "adventure's in babysitting"
tree houses (i.e. club houses)
mobile homes and double wides
sod houses
fun houses
lambda lambda lambda house
shit houses and/or out houses
the big house
green houses
that song "brick house"
dog houses
full house
slaughterhouses
penthouse
sears house
brownstone
colonial house
cottage
detached
bungalow
backsplit
frontsplit
sidesplit
link-detached
prefab
two-story
three-story
ranch
farmhouse
linked
faux chateau
mansion
mcmansion
manufactured home
mews property
patio home
rowhouse
split-level house
semi-detached
terraced house
back-to-back
townhouse
stacked townhouse
shack
flats
studio apartments
apartment
building
apartment
condominium
duplex
maisonette
tenement
tower block
house of cards
school house rock
angela's house
the ronald mcdonald house
roundhouse kicks
eureka's castle
mr blandings builds his dream house
pee wee's play house
cave dwellings
bringin down the house
takin it to da house
playin house
crowded house
roman polanski's house
ginger bread houses
lincoln logs (you can build houses out of 'em)
churches (you can't get much better than god's house)
(who's house?!) run's house!
home fries
burnin' down the house
the home depot
home improvement
homies and/or home boys
home-er simpson (again... stretch)
town houses
beach houses
home movies/home videos
homecoming dances
pool house
guest house
publishers clearing house
house coats
house slippers
big mama's house
bear in the big blue house
retirement home
roach hotels
good housekeeping
better homes and gardens
refrigerator boxes
barracks
habitat for humanity
the biltmore mansion
bee-hives
this one's on the house
john holmes (close enough)
3-bedrooms, 2 bath
pee wee's playhouse
¡mi casa es su casa!

Godammit.... don't get me wrong, I really want to update this journal of mine properly, but I haven't had time for shit lately... that, and combined with the fact that my old journal was up for almost a whole month, with only 9 comments... hmm.

well, i've got a new lady-friend... she's tall (like 5'9") long brown dreadlocks... yes sir, yes sir, she's definitely OK in my book.

well, i'll be back... i'm going to update this thing piecemeal today.

I'm going to donate my corpse to science.





also, i found a note in the hallway of my apartment building that reads,

and i'm going to get you too.......BITCH

what a strange place this is, to be sure.

OK, what the fuck.

I love the body of every porn spam email i get. i'm collecting them for a book. try this on for size:

I could seriously write these.

This is why I love college. My apartment, my roomate, and 6 girls. Plus lots and lots of alcohol. I'm just going to post two pictures, some of the best stuff I wasn't able to capture... after about 11 or so, we were too drunk to operate a camera.

Let me tell you about bamboo cutting boards. Bamboo is harder than maple, naturally water resistant, and extremely light. It's the titianium of hardwoods. My house will be floored with bamboo, when I build one. But for now, I'll be happy with these:



two brand new bamboo boards to cover the counters in my apartment with. I can't wait to cut up a side of beef on them. Speaking of my new apartment,

Dear New Landlord,
Please stop SHUTTING OFF MY FUCKING POWER WHEN YOU WANT TO TALK TO ME ABOUT THE SMALLEST FUCKING THING. If you want to talk to me about some issue, that's fine. I understand I live in a building with lots of college students, and we don't really like to talk to you, but STOP SHUTTING OFF MY POWER JUST TO GET MY ATTENTION!

Thanks, Mr. Fiction

Furthermore, the "brand new countertops" I was promised have not arrived, so I am forced to make do with a counter that looks like someone decided to experiment with power tools on. Hence, the cover-up operation with the cutting boards.

Check this out:



In other news, packing all my clothes to move into my new place is a fucking pain. Why do I own so many black t-shirts? half of this stuff I don't even remember. I even found a machete YES THAT'S RIGHT A MACHETE



in my closet. I remember where I got it now,, but I was totally mystified when I came across it. It now resides in the trunk of my car, ready for the Zombie Apocalypse. Because when the ZA happens, it's not the fear of Winning... it's the fear of Losing Completely that drives me to drive around with a machete in my trunk. I have a large razor sharp jungle clearing tool in my car, and I don't care who knows it. Perhaps the more people that know it, the better... deterrence is a powerful tool... "Shit, that crazy bastard's got a damn machete in his shit, you don't fuck around with him... he took someone's head off in arizona with it, I heard..." Maybe one of these days I'll grab it out and go running through my building, or down my street with it, Enforcing the Common Good, putting bad people in their place... the fear of flying jungle tools will keep them locked up in their houses.

I'm not going to buy a pistol, or any firearm for that matter, and I'll tell you why. Owning something like that is nothing but Temptation, more of the devil's business... I would be more than tempted to shoot out my back windows at 3 o clock in the morning, a good old fashioned All American Display Of Firepower, Hunter S. Thompson style... just the thing to scare the living fuck out of the neighbors and instill a healthy respect for large caliber weapons in the neighborhood.

It is a full moon tonight, and I will be outside enjoing it shortly, so I bid you all good evening.

I was president for a day.



and they all laughed at me.

I'm back.

kiss my ass.

Below the radar.


incommunicado x 30 days.



awaiting signal....
awaiting signal...
awaiting signal...