I'm alive
I don't really have a whole lot to say though...
-Me and Jesse are dating again. It's going pretty good so far.
-Work still sucks horribly and I am getting even LESS hours right now so there's that.
-Still haven't been able to find a new or second job.
-"Friends" have been too busy for me these days.
-I've been pretty depressed and stressed out a lot lately
I'm really doing my best to stay positive but the fact of the matter is, there just isn't a whole lot going right in my life at the moment. I mean, I have Jesse and that's pretty awesome because honestly, I love the guy, but he's EXTREMELY busy and not around as much as we'd both like so it's kinda tough. The little bit I get to see him is pretty worth it though, so I can be patient.
I have tons of photos to share but I can't add them to this blog because there isn't enough room left on my laptop for me to upload them from my phone. So, if you wanna see them, you'll have to scope them on Instagram, Username: zombie_kitty
I wish I had a more exciting update for you all but here I am, in the same funk I was in a month ago. I really need life to start getting better.... Hope you all are doing well.
xo
I don't really have a whole lot to say though...
-Me and Jesse are dating again. It's going pretty good so far.
-Work still sucks horribly and I am getting even LESS hours right now so there's that.
-Still haven't been able to find a new or second job.
-"Friends" have been too busy for me these days.
-I've been pretty depressed and stressed out a lot lately
I'm really doing my best to stay positive but the fact of the matter is, there just isn't a whole lot going right in my life at the moment. I mean, I have Jesse and that's pretty awesome because honestly, I love the guy, but he's EXTREMELY busy and not around as much as we'd both like so it's kinda tough. The little bit I get to see him is pretty worth it though, so I can be patient.
I have tons of photos to share but I can't add them to this blog because there isn't enough room left on my laptop for me to upload them from my phone. So, if you wanna see them, you'll have to scope them on Instagram, Username: zombie_kitty
I wish I had a more exciting update for you all but here I am, in the same funk I was in a month ago. I really need life to start getting better.... Hope you all are doing well.
xo
I'm tired...
I'm so tired of life sucking. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of not knowing who I am anymore and I'm EXTRA tired of waiting around for life to get better.
So, it didn't work out with Jesse. I'm pretty over it. I think I knew deep down that he wasn't right AT ALL for me. Frankly, I need attention. And he couldn't give me that. Nor did he really give a shit about that I needed. Fuck that noise. There are better men out there.
I'm doing my best to just make myself happy these days. It's partially working....
I think what it comes down to right now is that I don't have any friends. That's not true. I have a bunch of you lovely people, but all of yo live far far away. And I have a couple friends here but one is always busy with work and the other is always busy with her husband and 3 kids. *sigh* I'm going to a church group tonight to hopefully meet some new people. How could a rebel like me make friends at a CHURCH group, you ask? Well, I started going to a new church that is very liberal and laid back and I'm hoping I can find more people like me there. lol We'll see. Doesn't hurt to try, right? I've got nothin to lose!
I've been in touch with Brando again (my ex that most of you probably remember from previous blogs, etc). We've just been catching up and stuff and it's been really really nice! But, we had talked about having coffee this week and he was too busy and had to take a rain check. One side of me thinks he's full of shit and just bailed on me, another part of me wants to believe he's legitimately too busy. I dunno. Time will tell. I'm not getting myself too excited about anything either way.
I'm not feeling too sexy lately and it's really bringing me down. I don't know if it's just cuz I'm kinda depressed or what but my confidence is SUUUUPER low at the moment. I hate when I get like this. Bleh.... I really need to start working out again but my motivation is just super non-existent. I haven't gotten fat or anything! At all! I just need to tone up a bit. I'm at like 130 lbs right now so I'm fine there. I just DO NOT feel bikini ready at all and that's pretty depressing since it's crazy hot outside already. Ughhhh.....
At least I'm feeling more confident that life is going to start getting better.... But when?! lol
*sigh*
Thanks for letting me vent. and thanks for all your support!
Instagram: zombie_kitty
I'm so tired of life sucking. I'm tired of being sad. I'm tired of not knowing who I am anymore and I'm EXTRA tired of waiting around for life to get better.
So, it didn't work out with Jesse. I'm pretty over it. I think I knew deep down that he wasn't right AT ALL for me. Frankly, I need attention. And he couldn't give me that. Nor did he really give a shit about that I needed. Fuck that noise. There are better men out there.
I'm doing my best to just make myself happy these days. It's partially working....
I think what it comes down to right now is that I don't have any friends. That's not true. I have a bunch of you lovely people, but all of yo live far far away. And I have a couple friends here but one is always busy with work and the other is always busy with her husband and 3 kids. *sigh* I'm going to a church group tonight to hopefully meet some new people. How could a rebel like me make friends at a CHURCH group, you ask? Well, I started going to a new church that is very liberal and laid back and I'm hoping I can find more people like me there. lol We'll see. Doesn't hurt to try, right? I've got nothin to lose!
I've been in touch with Brando again (my ex that most of you probably remember from previous blogs, etc). We've just been catching up and stuff and it's been really really nice! But, we had talked about having coffee this week and he was too busy and had to take a rain check. One side of me thinks he's full of shit and just bailed on me, another part of me wants to believe he's legitimately too busy. I dunno. Time will tell. I'm not getting myself too excited about anything either way.
I'm not feeling too sexy lately and it's really bringing me down. I don't know if it's just cuz I'm kinda depressed or what but my confidence is SUUUUPER low at the moment. I hate when I get like this. Bleh.... I really need to start working out again but my motivation is just super non-existent. I haven't gotten fat or anything! At all! I just need to tone up a bit. I'm at like 130 lbs right now so I'm fine there. I just DO NOT feel bikini ready at all and that's pretty depressing since it's crazy hot outside already. Ughhhh.....
At least I'm feeling more confident that life is going to start getting better.... But when?! lol
*sigh*
Thanks for letting me vent. and thanks for all your support!
Instagram: zombie_kitty
Life never fails to let me down..
Because the universe fucking hates me and everything that makes me happy, I will be unable to participate in the shoot next weekend in Reno. Financially, it's just not feasible. Even though the lovely Sunshine was willing to cut me a deal on the package she was shooting for me, because my job sucks giant ball sacks, it's still not going to be possible for me. I have been crying about it yesterday and today. I think her SOOOO much for being so wonderful and thank Boomie for inviting me!
Yet another opportunity missed because of my job.
When is life going to go my way? When? I'm so sick of things NEVER working out for me. Where did I go wrong in life? I feel like I'm a pretty good person and I do my best in life, but I never seem to be rewarded for any of it. not that I do good things just for the karma AT ALL. But, COME ON!!!!
Ugh...
I just want to disappear. I feel like I've cried all the tears I've got.
Anyways.... Sorry for being such a downer AGAIN. I swear I hate being this way. But unfortunately... Such is my life.
Hope you all are doing better than I am.
EDIT: I'm not looking for pitty or donations or ANYTHING like that, I promise. Just venting. I do that from time to time.
Because the universe fucking hates me and everything that makes me happy, I will be unable to participate in the shoot next weekend in Reno. Financially, it's just not feasible. Even though the lovely Sunshine was willing to cut me a deal on the package she was shooting for me, because my job sucks giant ball sacks, it's still not going to be possible for me. I have been crying about it yesterday and today. I think her SOOOO much for being so wonderful and thank Boomie for inviting me!
Yet another opportunity missed because of my job.
When is life going to go my way? When? I'm so sick of things NEVER working out for me. Where did I go wrong in life? I feel like I'm a pretty good person and I do my best in life, but I never seem to be rewarded for any of it. not that I do good things just for the karma AT ALL. But, COME ON!!!!
Ugh...
I just want to disappear. I feel like I've cried all the tears I've got.
Anyways.... Sorry for being such a downer AGAIN. I swear I hate being this way. But unfortunately... Such is my life.
Hope you all are doing better than I am.
EDIT: I'm not looking for pitty or donations or ANYTHING like that, I promise. Just venting. I do that from time to time.
BIG exciting news!!!!
(Innnnnnnn love with this song. lol I like to ride my board with this in my ear buds.)
See this pretty lady?
That would be one of my absolute favorite ladies in the whole world, AKA Boomie. Well, the weekend of May 25, I will be driving my pretty little ass up to Reno to stay with her.
"Why" you ask?
For a super fun shoot party!!!!!
And see this other pretty lady?
Well THAT would be the gorgeous Sunshine and she's gonna be shooting me!!!
Yes, that's right. I've decided to hop back in the saddle again and give this whole SG thing another shot and do another set! I took my little break because things started feeling so different here but I started realizing how important this community is to me. SO many amazing people in my life are in my life BECAUSE of this website! So, why not, right?!
I totally have to share my "blush" moment with you. So, I met Sunshine last summer at Hell City in Arizona and she was so amazing and sweet! And the first time she met me she thought I was already a Suicide Girl with was so amazingly flattering. For that to come from HER was like HUGE for me. lol So Boomie was talking to me this week about wanting me to come to her shoot party and gave me Sunshine's number so I could connect with her to schedule our shoot. Well, not only did she remember me from Hell City, but she commented that she thought I was an SG already. HAHAHA! *BLUSH TASTIC* She's so awesome!
I know, I'm a total nerd. But it seriously made me smile! lol
ANYWAYS so I'm gonna shoot another set and shoot some stuff for Powder Puff Pinups too.
I am so blessed and stoked!
And so....
THE DIET BEGINS! In addition to a ridiculous work out regimen. And probably skateboarding a lot to supplement some cardio. And trying to get some sun! LOL Gotta do what I can in 2 weeks!
I hope you guys are as jazzed as I am on this! Cuz I'm gonna need your support!
Here! To celebrate!
LOL Have a good night guys!
(Innnnnnnn love with this song. lol I like to ride my board with this in my ear buds.)
See this pretty lady?
That would be one of my absolute favorite ladies in the whole world, AKA Boomie. Well, the weekend of May 25, I will be driving my pretty little ass up to Reno to stay with her.
"Why" you ask?
For a super fun shoot party!!!!!
And see this other pretty lady?
Well THAT would be the gorgeous Sunshine and she's gonna be shooting me!!!
Yes, that's right. I've decided to hop back in the saddle again and give this whole SG thing another shot and do another set! I took my little break because things started feeling so different here but I started realizing how important this community is to me. SO many amazing people in my life are in my life BECAUSE of this website! So, why not, right?!
I totally have to share my "blush" moment with you. So, I met Sunshine last summer at Hell City in Arizona and she was so amazing and sweet! And the first time she met me she thought I was already a Suicide Girl with was so amazingly flattering. For that to come from HER was like HUGE for me. lol So Boomie was talking to me this week about wanting me to come to her shoot party and gave me Sunshine's number so I could connect with her to schedule our shoot. Well, not only did she remember me from Hell City, but she commented that she thought I was an SG already. HAHAHA! *BLUSH TASTIC* She's so awesome!
I know, I'm a total nerd. But it seriously made me smile! lol
ANYWAYS so I'm gonna shoot another set and shoot some stuff for Powder Puff Pinups too.
I am so blessed and stoked!
And so....
THE DIET BEGINS! In addition to a ridiculous work out regimen. And probably skateboarding a lot to supplement some cardio. And trying to get some sun! LOL Gotta do what I can in 2 weeks!
I hope you guys are as jazzed as I am on this! Cuz I'm gonna need your support!
Here! To celebrate!
LOL Have a good night guys!
Bassnectar dropped bass in my face
I found this video online of his opening to the show Friday night. In honor of MCA he did this Intergalactic mix to open up. I literally got choked up. It made me soooo happy.
So. Fucking. Rad.
We had such a blast! Me and Jesse went to Meghan's house in midtown and met all her friends and ate pizza and drank some whiskey while we all got ready to go over there. I helped Jesse with his mohawk. Mmmmm... So sexy
Everyone was rolling that night... HARD, but me and Jesse had to make it back to his place at some point (which is like 45 minutes away) so we only did about a hit and a half of molly. We took it right before we started walking to the Memorial Auditorium (where the show was at) and we all rolled deep to the show. I stood in line FOREVER for Will Call behind some drunk dude who would NOT SHUT UP. LOL I hate people like that! Me and jesse were just like waiting for him to say something to us so we could be assholes to him. Haha
Anyways, the DJ that was playing before Bassnectar sucked.LOL We just were not impressed by him at all. But RIGHT before Bassnectar came on, me and Jesse's molly kicked in and we were feelin GOOOOOOOD. And then he opened with that Beastie Boys mix and I was sooooooooo happy!
The whole show was incredible! Me and Jesse just danced and had a blast the whole time! Everything he spun was just ON POINT! I took a few pictures..
Me and Meghan
I also had some fun with some effects for a couple pictures I took. LOL
So sick!!! There are more pictures somewhere but no one has sent them to me yet.
At some point he mixed Jimi Hendrix "Fire" and Jesse just straight LOST IT. He loves Jimi sooo much! I have never seen him so excited about anything! Haha! So after that, he looks at me and he just screams "I'm gonna ride the crowd!" and he kicks off his shoes and heads down into the sea of people. Next thing I know, I see him crowd surfing right up front. Haha! It was amazing!
SUCH A GOOD NIGHT!
Thank you so much Bassnectar for coming to Sacramento for the first time!!! He kept saying "I can't believe I've never come here before! You guys are awesome!" so hopefully he'll come back again.
Seriously had the time of my life Friday night.
Needless to say, things are going good still with Jesse. I spent all weekend with him and he seemed really happy with me there so I think that's a good sign. lol I do know that him and his business partner have TONS of work to do this week so I'm not sure how much I'll get to see him/talk to him. We'll see. So I need to find some other stuff to do this week to keep me occupied and not trippin over him.
Well, I think that's all for now! Just wanted to let you know the show was LIFE CHANGING! Hope you all had a good weekend!
I found this video online of his opening to the show Friday night. In honor of MCA he did this Intergalactic mix to open up. I literally got choked up. It made me soooo happy.
So. Fucking. Rad.
We had such a blast! Me and Jesse went to Meghan's house in midtown and met all her friends and ate pizza and drank some whiskey while we all got ready to go over there. I helped Jesse with his mohawk. Mmmmm... So sexy
Everyone was rolling that night... HARD, but me and Jesse had to make it back to his place at some point (which is like 45 minutes away) so we only did about a hit and a half of molly. We took it right before we started walking to the Memorial Auditorium (where the show was at) and we all rolled deep to the show. I stood in line FOREVER for Will Call behind some drunk dude who would NOT SHUT UP. LOL I hate people like that! Me and jesse were just like waiting for him to say something to us so we could be assholes to him. Haha
Anyways, the DJ that was playing before Bassnectar sucked.LOL We just were not impressed by him at all. But RIGHT before Bassnectar came on, me and Jesse's molly kicked in and we were feelin GOOOOOOOD. And then he opened with that Beastie Boys mix and I was sooooooooo happy!
The whole show was incredible! Me and Jesse just danced and had a blast the whole time! Everything he spun was just ON POINT! I took a few pictures..
Me and Meghan
I also had some fun with some effects for a couple pictures I took. LOL
So sick!!! There are more pictures somewhere but no one has sent them to me yet.
At some point he mixed Jimi Hendrix "Fire" and Jesse just straight LOST IT. He loves Jimi sooo much! I have never seen him so excited about anything! Haha! So after that, he looks at me and he just screams "I'm gonna ride the crowd!" and he kicks off his shoes and heads down into the sea of people. Next thing I know, I see him crowd surfing right up front. Haha! It was amazing!
SUCH A GOOD NIGHT!
Thank you so much Bassnectar for coming to Sacramento for the first time!!! He kept saying "I can't believe I've never come here before! You guys are awesome!" so hopefully he'll come back again.
Seriously had the time of my life Friday night.
Needless to say, things are going good still with Jesse. I spent all weekend with him and he seemed really happy with me there so I think that's a good sign. lol I do know that him and his business partner have TONS of work to do this week so I'm not sure how much I'll get to see him/talk to him. We'll see. So I need to find some other stuff to do this week to keep me occupied and not trippin over him.
Well, I think that's all for now! Just wanted to let you know the show was LIFE CHANGING! Hope you all had a good weekend!
I've never cried over the death of a musician...
...until this morning.
This morning, Adam "MCA" Yauch of the LEGENDARY Beastie Boys died of cancer at the age of 47. My heart is absolutely broken over this. I didn't even cry when Michael Jackson died! But today, as I read it on Rolling Stone's website while driving to the bank (probably not the safest activity) I burst into tears uncontrollably.
If you love the Beasties as much as I do, today let's turn the volume up to eleven and blast you favorite BB jams! Let's make the neighbors complain! Fuck the police! LOL This one's for you, Adam. Rest in peace.
...until this morning.
This morning, Adam "MCA" Yauch of the LEGENDARY Beastie Boys died of cancer at the age of 47. My heart is absolutely broken over this. I didn't even cry when Michael Jackson died! But today, as I read it on Rolling Stone's website while driving to the bank (probably not the safest activity) I burst into tears uncontrollably.
If you love the Beasties as much as I do, today let's turn the volume up to eleven and blast you favorite BB jams! Let's make the neighbors complain! Fuck the police! LOL This one's for you, Adam. Rest in peace.
When did I get so pathetic?
I always thought I was a pretty tough girl. Pretty independent and pretty in control of my life. My feelings and emotions have always been sorta erratic but I've learned ways to keep that as under control as possible.
And then one morning I just woke up like this.
Today I sobbed all day. Not because someone hurt me or anything like that. But because I hate everything about my job and my current situation. I hate my boss' shitty attitude. I hate the way she makes me feel every time I see her. I hate that I'm not getting any hours. I hate that my last paycheck was literally $225. I hate that I can't even put gas in my car without asking my parents for money. I hate that I'm 26 and living at home with no end in sight. And it all built up and I just lost it. I cried for like 2 hours straight. I cried in the goddamn shower while getting ready for my 4 hour shift.
People keep telling me it's time to look for a new job. Uh.... YA THINK?! Little do they know I've been applying for just about every fucking job that I can think of for the last few months to absolutely no avail. Not even a call for an interview. nothing. Do you understand how frustrating that is?????? To have 10 years of work experience and not be able to even snag an interview??? It literally makes me sick.
I can't sleep at night because I lie awake, pulling my hair out, obsessing over all of this. Then I finally take something to help me sleep and I sleep ok but I have nightmares ABOUT job hunting. When I wake up in the morning, I literally CANNOT pull myself out of bed. I have no drive to do anything. So I usually cry a little bit and then I roll over and try to go back to sleep. I try to sleep all day because the only time I'm not literally SHAKING with anxiety is when I'm sleeping. Then when I actually DO have work, I dread going in so much that I vomit or cry and my insides seem to vibrate in fear.
This is the absolute worst existence.
Because of all this anxiety, I'm quite needy at the moment. Which is highly inconvenient timing with this whole situation with Jesse. We're spending less time together so as to actually have our own lives and such. Which in theory I am super happy about. I have for some reason gotten to this place of super neediness and I HATE IT! literally. I don't like being that girl, you know? But right now, I wish I could spend every waking second with him just because everything else is so shitty. Like today, I didn't talk to him all day which SHOULD be fine. But because I'm so miserable, it's hard. And none of it is his fault! This is what we mutually agreed on and when it comes down to it, I think it's important for me right now to not depend on ANY ONE ELSE to make me happy. I need to find it in myself. But... how?
When does life get easy?
Rhetorical question. I know it never does.
But it would be super amazing if the universe could help me out a little bit right now.
Every day I am miserable. And I have no drive to do anything positive to help. I mean, I am applying for jobs and taking care of all that type of stuff daily. But I'm not doing things that I know help in the long run. Things like working out and taking time to meditate and work on some art or write and just help center myself. I don't know why, I just CAN'T get myself to do it. I'm just.... DEPRESSED. Like the sad cartoon commercials on TV about depression kind of depressed. It's terrible.
I never saw myself being this way at 26. I just feel completely pathetic. I think I have the worst image of myself right now. And honestly... I don't know what to do. it's spiraled so out of control and I'm here at the bottom of this horrendous pit and I can't find a way out. I don't have health insurance anymore which means no more meds and no more therapy. And I'm lost. And I have some cool people in my life that are all too far away to help me out. I really don't know what to do right now.
Sometimes I want to give up on this whole life thing but when I really think about it, I don't want to give up. I just NEED HELP. And I don't know where to find it at the moment. I just... don't.
I'm even crying as I type this.
Pathetic.
Sorry to be such a downer I'm just.... really having a difficult time and sometimes it helps for me to get it out like this. And sometimes you guys have some great words of wisdom to help me out. But no one has been reading my blogs lately really so who knows. I'm sure most of you won't even read this far. Because no one likes a downer. Everyone wants nudity and happiness at all times. Well, I'm sorry I can't provide that right now.
Thanks if you did read this far and again, my apologies. I know it will get better I'm just SUPER FUCKING TIRED of waiting and feeling like this. Because it's terrible and I feel like my actual spirit is just gone.
I always thought I was a pretty tough girl. Pretty independent and pretty in control of my life. My feelings and emotions have always been sorta erratic but I've learned ways to keep that as under control as possible.
And then one morning I just woke up like this.
Today I sobbed all day. Not because someone hurt me or anything like that. But because I hate everything about my job and my current situation. I hate my boss' shitty attitude. I hate the way she makes me feel every time I see her. I hate that I'm not getting any hours. I hate that my last paycheck was literally $225. I hate that I can't even put gas in my car without asking my parents for money. I hate that I'm 26 and living at home with no end in sight. And it all built up and I just lost it. I cried for like 2 hours straight. I cried in the goddamn shower while getting ready for my 4 hour shift.
People keep telling me it's time to look for a new job. Uh.... YA THINK?!
Little do they know I've been applying for just about every fucking job that I can think of for the last few months to absolutely no avail. Not even a call for an interview. nothing. Do you understand how frustrating that is?????? To have 10 years of work experience and not be able to even snag an interview??? It literally makes me sick.I can't sleep at night because I lie awake, pulling my hair out, obsessing over all of this. Then I finally take something to help me sleep and I sleep ok but I have nightmares ABOUT job hunting. When I wake up in the morning, I literally CANNOT pull myself out of bed. I have no drive to do anything. So I usually cry a little bit and then I roll over and try to go back to sleep. I try to sleep all day because the only time I'm not literally SHAKING with anxiety is when I'm sleeping. Then when I actually DO have work, I dread going in so much that I vomit or cry and my insides seem to vibrate in fear.
This is the absolute worst existence.
Because of all this anxiety, I'm quite needy at the moment. Which is highly inconvenient timing with this whole situation with Jesse. We're spending less time together so as to actually have our own lives and such. Which in theory I am super happy about. I have for some reason gotten to this place of super neediness and I HATE IT! literally. I don't like being that girl, you know? But right now, I wish I could spend every waking second with him just because everything else is so shitty. Like today, I didn't talk to him all day which SHOULD be fine. But because I'm so miserable, it's hard. And none of it is his fault! This is what we mutually agreed on and when it comes down to it, I think it's important for me right now to not depend on ANY ONE ELSE to make me happy. I need to find it in myself. But... how?
When does life get easy?
Rhetorical question. I know it never does.
But it would be super amazing if the universe could help me out a little bit right now.
Every day I am miserable. And I have no drive to do anything positive to help. I mean, I am applying for jobs and taking care of all that type of stuff daily. But I'm not doing things that I know help in the long run. Things like working out and taking time to meditate and work on some art or write and just help center myself. I don't know why, I just CAN'T get myself to do it. I'm just.... DEPRESSED. Like the sad cartoon commercials on TV about depression kind of depressed. It's terrible.
I never saw myself being this way at 26. I just feel completely pathetic. I think I have the worst image of myself right now. And honestly... I don't know what to do. it's spiraled so out of control and I'm here at the bottom of this horrendous pit and I can't find a way out. I don't have health insurance anymore which means no more meds and no more therapy. And I'm lost. And I have some cool people in my life that are all too far away to help me out. I really don't know what to do right now.
Sometimes I want to give up on this whole life thing but when I really think about it, I don't want to give up. I just NEED HELP. And I don't know where to find it at the moment. I just... don't.
I'm even crying as I type this.
Pathetic.
Sorry to be such a downer I'm just.... really having a difficult time and sometimes it helps for me to get it out like this. And sometimes you guys have some great words of wisdom to help me out. But no one has been reading my blogs lately really so who knows. I'm sure most of you won't even read this far. Because no one likes a downer. Everyone wants nudity and happiness at all times. Well, I'm sorry I can't provide that right now.
Thanks if you did read this far and again, my apologies. I know it will get better I'm just SUPER FUCKING TIRED of waiting and feeling like this. Because it's terrible and I feel like my actual spirit is just gone.
Bass head
Watch this video if you want to see how I will be spending next Friday night:
That's right! Me and Jesse and a bunch of my friends will most likely be going to see Bassnectar free of charge. I'm pretty damn excited because I'd have to miss it if it weren't free for us. LOL My friend Meghan is buying me and Jesse tickets because she wants us to go so bad. Hahaha! So, I'm pretty damn excited about that!
Speaking of that cute boy, Jesse... Things are going well with our recent "relationship" adjustment. We've been taking it much slower and actually, it's been pretty damn nice.
Thursday night we got drunk and decided to shave him a mohawk. I did it for him because he was way too toasted for such nonsense. I forgot to take a picture of it styled up but I might be meeting with him tomorrow to shoot guns so I'm sure I'll catch a good shot then. But check out how much hair this kid had!!!
The remains after shaving it:
Hahaha! Ridiculous..
This is it down after wearing a hat... I still think it's sexy as fuck:
Let me tell you though....
Words cannot describe how good that mohawk looks between my legs.
TMI? LOL
Anyways, in other news. ....
I want to blow up my work with a giant bomb. Yeah. I said it. lol It is sooooo awful right now. Everyone's hours have been cut big time and we don't know why. Pretty much everyone is trying to find a new job now. Guess how many hours I have next week. Just guess.... I'll wait... 13 hours. Are you motherfucking kidding me?!?! And I got paid on Friday and it was the smallest check I think I've ever gotten. $226. Seriously? My bills are like $180 right now. And I need gas. SOOOOO DUMB! I hate my job so bad.
So I'm still applying for new jobs left and right and slangin my resume like crazy. So hopefully I'll finally get a bite! Keep yer fingers crossed I don't die of absolute shame by then.
What else what else...?
Oh! I've been talking to Brando again. Not romantically AT ALL but just catching up. It's kinda been nice. Cuz while I absolutely don't have feelings for him anymore, he played such a huge part in my life for 3 years that it's just nice to have him around to talk to. We might be meeting for coffee sometime in the next couple weeks. He broke up with his (ugly) lady and needs someone to talk to I think. He's trapped living with her still apparently so I'm sure he's got some shit to get off his chest. lol Poor guy.
Want some random pictures? Ok. here:
I've been wearing my combat boots a lot these days. Not sure why but I am in love with them..
My eyes were crazy blue the other day..
Hip bone..
Needed for soaking my feet in the hot tub..
fun light effects..
Me with no makeup looking a little grimy..
Palooka begging for grilled cheese..
I've been on a full-on Incubus kick again these days..
My bath tonight..
I know.. Saturday night bubble bath.. I'm such a party animal! lol
Speaking of Incubus, here's this song. it gives me happies.
<3 <3 <3
Well, I guess that's all I have for tonight. I was just kinda bored so I thought I'd throw up a little something. Hopefully I'll have more interesting updates soon!
Have a good night! And I'll talk to ya soon!
Instagram: zombie_kitty
Watch this video if you want to see how I will be spending next Friday night:
That's right! Me and Jesse and a bunch of my friends will most likely be going to see Bassnectar free of charge. I'm pretty damn excited because I'd have to miss it if it weren't free for us. LOL My friend Meghan is buying me and Jesse tickets because she wants us to go so bad. Hahaha! So, I'm pretty damn excited about that!
Speaking of that cute boy, Jesse... Things are going well with our recent "relationship" adjustment. We've been taking it much slower and actually, it's been pretty damn nice.
Thursday night we got drunk and decided to shave him a mohawk. I did it for him because he was way too toasted for such nonsense. I forgot to take a picture of it styled up but I might be meeting with him tomorrow to shoot guns so I'm sure I'll catch a good shot then. But check out how much hair this kid had!!!
The remains after shaving it:
Hahaha! Ridiculous..
This is it down after wearing a hat... I still think it's sexy as fuck:
Let me tell you though....
Words cannot describe how good that mohawk looks between my legs.
TMI? LOL
Anyways, in other news. ....
I want to blow up my work with a giant bomb. Yeah. I said it. lol It is sooooo awful right now. Everyone's hours have been cut big time and we don't know why. Pretty much everyone is trying to find a new job now. Guess how many hours I have next week. Just guess.... I'll wait... 13 hours.
Are you motherfucking kidding me?!?! And I got paid on Friday and it was the smallest check I think I've ever gotten. $226. Seriously? My bills are like $180 right now. And I need gas. SOOOOO DUMB! I hate my job so bad. So I'm still applying for new jobs left and right and slangin my resume like crazy. So hopefully I'll finally get a bite! Keep yer fingers crossed I don't die of absolute shame by then.
What else what else...?
Oh! I've been talking to Brando again. Not romantically AT ALL but just catching up. It's kinda been nice. Cuz while I absolutely don't have feelings for him anymore, he played such a huge part in my life for 3 years that it's just nice to have him around to talk to. We might be meeting for coffee sometime in the next couple weeks. He broke up with his (ugly) lady and needs someone to talk to I think. He's trapped living with her still apparently so I'm sure he's got some shit to get off his chest. lol Poor guy.
Want some random pictures? Ok. here:
I've been wearing my combat boots a lot these days. Not sure why but I am in love with them..
My eyes were crazy blue the other day..
Hip bone..
Needed for soaking my feet in the hot tub..
fun light effects..
Me with no makeup looking a little grimy..
Palooka begging for grilled cheese..
I've been on a full-on Incubus kick again these days..
My bath tonight..
I know.. Saturday night bubble bath.. I'm such a party animal! lol
Speaking of Incubus, here's this song. it gives me happies.
<3 <3 <3
Well, I guess that's all I have for tonight. I was just kinda bored so I thought I'd throw up a little something. Hopefully I'll have more interesting updates soon!
Have a good night! And I'll talk to ya soon!
Instagram: zombie_kitty
Just cuz
I soooooo wanna make love to this lady.... Mmmmm
Yup. Over and over. LOL
I kinda wish I had the guts to make videos like this of me playing my music and singing but I'm a goddamn chicken and have mad stage fright. LOL I can get naked without blinking an eye... but make videos of me playing music.... forget about it! lol
I have excellent news! Wanna know what it is? As it stands, I have about 6 photo shoots lined up for SURE that are actually things I wanna work on just for fun. So that's gonna be exciting. but the best of it is this: That Rebel 8 shoot I was soooo sad I had to miss- remember it? Well, the photographer called me and said they cancelled it because she really wants to shoot me and have me be a part of it! So it's been rescheduled. I may still be in Inked magazine!!! Woo hoo!!
I've also been talking to a photographer allll day today about a shoot in napa next week with some old pimp cars. WOOT! I shall keep you posted on all fronts.
Anyways.... it's 1 AM and I'm thinking I should attempt sleep here pretty soon. Fuuuuck! Wish I had more to say tonight! I was just bored and needed a new blog. lol
Catch ya on the flippity flip!!!
(you know how I do )
I soooooo wanna make love to this lady.... Mmmmm
Yup. Over and over. LOL
I kinda wish I had the guts to make videos like this of me playing my music and singing but I'm a goddamn chicken and have mad stage fright. LOL I can get naked without blinking an eye... but make videos of me playing music.... forget about it! lol
I have excellent news! Wanna know what it is? As it stands, I have about 6 photo shoots lined up for SURE that are actually things I wanna work on just for fun. So that's gonna be exciting. but the best of it is this: That Rebel 8 shoot I was soooo sad I had to miss- remember it? Well, the photographer called me and said they cancelled it because she really wants to shoot me and have me be a part of it! So it's been rescheduled. I may still be in Inked magazine!!! Woo hoo!!
I've also been talking to a photographer allll day today about a shoot in napa next week with some old pimp cars. WOOT! I shall keep you posted on all fronts.
Anyways.... it's 1 AM and I'm thinking I should attempt sleep here pretty soon. Fuuuuck! Wish I had more to say tonight! I was just bored and needed a new blog. lol
Catch ya on the flippity flip!!!
(you know how I do
)