Awake

LAST MODIFIED: February 24, 2010   SUBMITTED BY: ToriBell
FEATURED IN: Hopefuls Pics, ToriBellPHOTOGRAPHER: Zoetica

TORIBELL SAYS: “Awake Merriam Webster Definition intransitive verb 1 : to cease sleeping 2 : to become aroused or active again 3 : to become conscious or aware of something transitive verb 1 : to arouse from sleep or a sleeplike state 2 : to make active : stir up I turned 21 in September. Soon after, I started drinking heavily on a regular basis. There were some really good times, some really bad ones (such as an E.R. visit because I slammed my head when drunk), and it all came to a head around Christmas. I fucked up badly while smashed out of my mind Christmas Eve. A week later, I got sober. I detoxed off not only alcohol, but my antidepressants as well. For the first time in months, my hands were still (they shake convulsively sometimes). It had been two years since I’ve seen the world without the filter of mind-altering prescriptions (or drugs). I was awake, finally, truly, awake. I still get the urge to drink myself into a stupor, to just go somewhere else outside of my head, but I think it’s better now. I was recently diagnosed with narcolepsy, which certainly compounded my problem with passing out while drinking (or listening to lectures, driving, sitting still, etc.). All my life I have been tired. All my life, my need or want to sleep was high on my priority list. But, now, I want to be awake, because there are so many good things to come that I just don’t want to miss. ”