My scarification experience.

I used to be a cutter, that's how I dealt with the world. I know it isn't a healthy coping skill but it was all I knew. I haven't cut myself in over two years. Most of my scars have been covered up by tattoos, except for a couple on my thigh. I decided that I wanted to have a scarification piece incorporating the scars that I already had. After much research, I chose to go with the fireweed. It's a plant that is planted after oil spills, it grew after the great fire of london, it's beauty out of ugliness and devastation.

I was super nervous, I wasn't sure if having this done was going to bring back old memories, or if it would hurt so much that I wouldn't be able to go through with it. I don't know if it was my mental preparation or if the universe knew I needed this to heal but it didn't hurt. At all. It felt like I was being drawn on with a ball point pen. It was an incredible experience. I feel like I've really healed, that I'm complete.



Hope everyone is having a fantabulous day!

It's my birthday today!!! I can't believe I'm 28 already. Time flies when you're having fun.

My car (Yuki, a 2001 honda civic with 148k) died today. I've had her for four years and haven't had any major problems until a couple of months ago. I paid to have her seals changed and the ignition replaced, since she was leaking oil and the ignition was shorting out causing her to die while driving. A few weeks ago the check engine light, and battery light came on. My mechanic came over to look at her, diagnosed the problem (thermastat was stuck open, and couldn't find anything wrong with the battery or alternator). Last night after running errands all day, Yuki died in the safeway parking lot. I checked the connections and noticed that there was some corrosion. I cleaned it off and got someone to jump start her for me. I drove her around the city for about half an hour so the battery would have time to charge.

This morning, I went to start her when I heard the dreaded "dead battery" sound. Luckily my landlord was there and he push started her for me. Once I got to my parents' house my dad tested the battery. It was charged and working. So I'm pretty sure it's the alternator. Right now, I don't have the time to fix her so I'll wait until next year. I've also been thinking about buying a new car. Should I get her fixed, try and sell her, or trade her in as is? Either way, I'm not going to make a lot of money.

Then there's the question of what to buy. Do I want to buy an older car to restore, or a new car? There are quite a few cars that I'm considering. 1940's mercury, 1960's volkswagen squareback, 1960's volvo p1800, datsun 510, Audi A3, Volvo C30, Acura csx. So many decisions. Maybe I'll just stick with Yuki, she's reliable (mostly), good on gas and it'll save me money. The only problem is that about 10 of my neighbours have blue honda civics so it's hard to tell which one's mine.

I'm pretty sure that I'm cursed, that someone put a hex on me. No one hurts themselves, or gets into as much trouble or weird situations as I do.

Earlier tonight I was driving home from a meeting when I came across a police officer stopped at a green light. He didn't have his hazard lights on and had been sitting there for a good 20 seconds. I assumed he wasn't paying attention and didn't notice that the light had changed so I tapped on my horn. It was a friendly "hey, are you paying attention?' sort of honk rather than a rage filled "I'm going to ram your car and stab you in the knees with a fork if you don't move out of my way" honk. He then proceed through the intersection, pulled over, waited for me to pass, and then put on his lights and sirens and pulled me over.

Before he even asked for my license and registration, he started lecturing me on the dangers of road rage and angry drivers. Very politely, I informed him that it wasn't my intention to portray anger. After hearing my explanation and how I drive for a living and thus see the dangers of road rage every day he apologized and let me go. I guess he was just having a bad day. I get it. Everyone has them.

Point being, not all cops are douches, even if at first they seem like it and road rage is really bad. I have a solution though. If everyone listened to Johnny Cash while driving, road rage would cease to exist. How can anyone be angry while listening to Johnny Cash?

Later on, I noticed my shoulder was popping out of place more often than usual. It's fairly normal for it to separate a few times a week. I hadn't been doing anything strenuous or putting more strain on my shoulder than usual. Sit ups are really painful for me which is why I avoid them. Eventually, I noticed my shoulder had started hurting and my arm was going numb. About an hour later, I could hardly move my arm, and was in so much pain I finally relented and took an asprin. Now, I'm typing this with one hand, my left which is not dominant, and have a sling made out of a pillow case.

I should have been asleep hours ago, seeing as I have a root canal appointment in four hours. Too bad the pain won't allow me to rest. Oh well, after a lifetime of strange injuries,odd situations and insomnia I'm rather used to this. I'm just happy I didn't have to go to the ER. 7 trips in one year is more than enough for me, thank you very much.

I must have really pissed off the universe in my past life.

Oh and because I'm a chick and consequentially am unable to grow a mustache, I'm going to forgo shaving in honour of movember. My boyfriend doesn't like this idea very much. He has a way out though, all he has to do is shave a lightening bolt into his chest hair (which would be so incredibly awesometastic) and I'll pick up the razor again. I just decided that I'm not going to shave until I get my way with his chest hair. We'll see who wins this battle.

A new start. Trying to recover from the effects of alcohol on my life.

www.whoneedsabra.blogspot.com

I'll write a real post in here soon. I promise.

I'm an alcoholic. I had been sober for 9 days and then I drank tonight. I feel so stupid. I can't believe I did it. It's okay though, tomorrow is a new day.

I'm writing about my experience. www.unbeerable.blogspot.com

Breakups suck. I don't like this. I hate feeling this way. It was all my fault. I act crazy. How do I get over this? Ice cream isn't working.

A preview of my very first set. It's called Happily never after. I hope you guys like it!

The pictures from my first set (which will be in member review very shortly) are finally done! I couldn't be happier with the results. Thanks Lavonne!

Hey all!

I know, it's been a while but my account expired and I couldn't afford to re-activate it but now I'm back!!! I'm doing a photoshoot with lavonne tomorrow, which should be super fun. Yay!! I'm finally going to attempt to be a suicide girl!!!!!