Member: The_Alpha_Jan

The_Alpha_Jan I have returned...for 3 months!

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APRIL 21, 2010 @ 05:06 PM | 8 COMMENTS


Hey Suicide Ladies and Suicide Gentlemen. Happy Fuckin' Hump Day yo! And yes sir, I am buzzed today again. I said I would do this again and make a bartender's mix of some alcoholic concoction to counter the shut-off valve and I did. However, I made it healthy thanks to Shakeology. Pre tty much I took half a glass of almond milk, mixed in Russian water, and one scoop of Shakeology. Also, if you don't know what Shakeology is, check out the video below and what it is.



So now I am having my healthy bartender's delight. It is so delicious even though it's the pussy version of a Cement Mixer. As a bartender what that drink is if you don't know. Maybe a mix of White Russian and Toasted Almond. Maybe. Anyways, my best friend Dizzy (Which is a nickname I gave her years ago) was here last weekend and it was fuckin' awesome having her here from Italy. Actually, she needed to be here because she just broke down prior to being here. You see, my best friend is this super-gorgeous girl who is hot but she doesn't bend to the stereotypes of a beautiful girl on almost every level. She is extremely independent, doesn't nudge one inch on a man's ego if it is catered to degrading or shadowing her on a vain level, and she is violent. She's actually a tomboy but due to her strong sense of social ethics and personal morals, she doesn't fit very well with the majority of the population of the United States. I know because I don't fit very well with the majority of the population of the United States due to how I am. That is probably why I love a lot of the people from said state Ohio. Though fuckin' boring in general - though I found it fun since I am so easily entertained - it is the state associated with all the country's outcasts and rejects. I myself have been an outcast of this society for the longest time for what I believe in and how I live life not because I want to but because it just is by social mores.

Off topic for a moment, if you want to know just for shits and giggles, the sunshine state Florida, where I live right now for the time, is the state where all the strippers and serial killers live. The joke is that if you are on the run, you run to Florida where you disappear into the crowd of tourists, crack dealers, Disneyworld fanatics, prostitutes, gang-bangers, and snowbirds thus there are more people in the Witness Protection Agency here in Florida as well as the highest perecentage of seriel killers. Here is the kicker, almost 75% of the seriel killers are noted but left alone by authorities because of who they kill. Ever seen Dexter or even read the series in which the television series is based off of who the author is Jeff Lindsay? Ever read anything from Tim Dorsey or Carl Hiaason? All these crime novels are set in one place: Florida. As for the stripper part, Tampa is the stripper capital of the United States. Now we don't have the most stripclubs per place for New York City has more than Tampa but Tampa has the most stripclubs per population ratio including the two most popular stripclubs or branches of the most popular stripclubs, the Mons Venus and Scores. Also, the three biggest porn companies on the internet are - and for your convenience, I will linkify to the fuck and suck spoogefest - the following. #1 goes to The Bangbros. Network. #2 goes to RealityKings Network. And #3 goes to the Brazzers Network. These three have their headquarters in where? Miami, Florida.

Well I apologize for going off the fuckin' topic there. The booze makes me so sociological. Anyways, Dizzy broke down in Italy crying about how she'll never end up married or something like that. I wasn't there so I can't put my guarantee on it but she pretty much had like a damn mid-life crisis at twenty-six and that scares the shit outta me because she's the toughest bitch I know but mostly from her rage and her breaking down like that is monumental. All my old friends were on call when we all heard that. Some even took immediate vacations to meet up with her and I am so thankful for that little blessing. Anyways, I paid for her ticket to spend a weekend here so I can try to take care of her a bit. It's like two best friends hanging out because we are and that weekend was awesome. She actually wanted to go to a stripclub of all places because 1.) she used to be a stripper and 2.) she fuckin' misses it I guess. Club was awesome but the bar was something else. First off, I am wearing cowboy boots and a cowboy hat because despite being Asian I seem to be the cowboy somewhat. Why Filipinos are the cowboys of Asia you know. I was the only one there like that with the exception of two girls. These girls wanted some punch-drunk midnight express yo but I was only there to hang out with Dizzy. I turned down two hot girls due to responsibility I guess. Later on, we hit up a bottle bar which is a fuckin' mistake because we ended up in a fight there. I didn't jump in though even though I had to help finish it. It was a good night all in all but then I realized something. The entire night for me was the following spoiler!



Seriously!? C'mon! That should be enough kicker for my fuckin' breakdown to happen but it didn't. I guess I have a better hold on myself than Dizzy has on herself. On the last day, she pretty much verified it that I am the most secure person she knows out of all my friends and hers as in emotional, personal, mental, and spiritual security because of how I used to be. What I used to do. What I was. I am fuckin' thankful for that.

So that's the events that are entertaining. I am now a writer for Console Alliance so check out the website if you want to see the articles that I have contributed. Also, it is sad to say this but Bow has left SG. This had me thinking about the blog Phecda wrote as well as what both Kronos and other hopefuls had said to me just writing back and forth communicating getting to know one another. Bow even said she wans't feeling all too happy on this site anymore and that makes me kinda upset that this site was one of the sources of her unhappiness. I have met so many wonderful and beautiful people and usually hit up the forums and clubs with them more than anything else. I hit up blogs more than anythere here even before commenting on sets though I will to show my support for all the girls who work so hard and put other endeavors and views on the line doing this. I know there is safe names being used per se stage names but people recognize people. That is why Jaime left this site. She left for career purposes and it is sad that people would be vain to utilize someone's wild past or private choices outside of work towards work. Kinda like when Clinton was caught getting head from a Jewish girl. Republicans wanted him to be impeached for something that did not affect the government. That was all personal. Pretty much, Congress impeaching Clinton for getting a blowjob is like a group of lepers judging a beauty contest. So a moment of respect for Bow now and I truly hope she does well in her future endeavors.

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To finally finish this uber awesome post, after watching the vid above, I am sure you realize I listen to country music and yes I love country music and you probably wouldn't realize it from my top ten bands here. I actually love many bands and genres of music because I DON'T SPECIALIZE! Wanna get a little crack of my ruthless mind here? I like music by Adam Lambert, Taylor Swift, T-Pain, N.E.R.D., Calle 13, Wisin Y Yandel, Angel Y Khriz, LMNT, Alicia Keys, Natasha Bedingfield, Owl City, Kesha, Kanye West, etc. Notice how I didn't mention any country singers at that one moment...well Taylor Swift but she's so popular now and she is hodgepodge country like Garth Brooks. Anyways, my two favorite country singers are Gretchen Wilson (I love that beautiful hot aggressive tomboy) and Toby Keith. I mean I have two cowboy hats and two pairs of cowboy boots right next to my beach slippers, 70s retro shirts, and golf tees. My wardrobe is just like me: eclectic and open-minded. I even have the very awesome Vibram Five-Finger Shoes!

Anyways, I was listening to a lot of country songs at work today and maybe it's the bulletproofing talking but I love country love songs or country relationship songs. I probably would never mention that here but fuck it, I'm bulletproof. I usually love the integrity put into the songs thus why. Country is so far the only genre that still is mostly synonymous with the best of people. If country were novels, they would be anything written by Nicholas Sparks or Sarah Addison Allen. That is how country music IN GENERAL could be. Even the hard country songs are very emotional and if you say Kid Rock doesn't sing emotional songs, listen to Lonely Road of Faith, Only God Knows Why, and his duet with Sheryl Crow titled Picture. Even Uncle Kracker's biggest hit is a slower relationship-based song titled Follow Me.

So I've been listening to all this lovely country songs and I usually respect the music for what the artist is doing and expressing about themselves and that is that...but now when I was listening these lovely country ballads, I am thinking of a girl. I can't fuckin' believe it! I'm thinking of her and that scares the shit outta me because I've been so happy on my own since circa 2005 or 2006. I've been single for five years at most. Sure I dated but only just to go with what everyone said or what someone suggested like "you two look great together and you should try her out" but it was never someone I really wanted to be with from scratch. I give my all in every relationship I am in but I don't bend over backwards and usually I'd catch myself whenever somone is sour thus ending something before potential hazard starts. With me however, I can sense good and strong people because I am attracted to good and strong people and I mean genuine. I'll be nice to everyone but very few people end up in my circle of trust. This girl did something however for now I am having emotions I haven't had in the longest time like anxiety and nervousness. I'm thinking questions like, "Am I good enough for her?" or "What can I do to be better just for here?" even though my universalistic self still lets me know that I am good enough because I make myself good enough. Like I said, if I wasn't somewhat buzzed, I wouldn't be writing this but it has been on my mind and heart for some time now. And yes, she is the type of girl I would change everything just to have THE CHANCE to be with her. I can feel it and as I am writing this, I am so fucking terrified. Maybe it's juvenile, me being twenty-six and all, but it's something I haven't felt in the longest time. I am going to end this blog with a quote using quotes from Kid Rock.

Only God knows why I am up and down the lonely road of faith.

May You All be Well!

APRIL 13, 2010 @ 05:25 PM | 7 COMMENTS


Hey there fugitives and refugees! Alpha here and its been so fuckin' long since I actually posted up another blog. I've been spooging comments galore all over the place but never dropped a batch of a blog in awhile so today is an awesome day to do so. Reason why I say that is because 1.) I am plastered and it isn't even 7PM yet here and 2.) I am trying to counter it with hot sauce shots. For anyone who wants to keep score, I am really losing this battle so now I'm plastered with a fuckin' mouth full of cayenne pepper. All the lactose in the world couldn't obliterate this spice in my mouth. It's like I went down on an Indian girl and forgot to bring a glass of water. I'll leave it to your imagination on if I am talking about Gas Station or Casino. I know what I'm talking about, do you?

Anyways, I shouda known that something was up when I found a gallon of chocolate milk in my fridge out of the blue. My closest friends have keys to my place and some of them know that the only way to get me shitfaced is to spike chocolate milk since my body has this automatic shutoff valve when too much alcohol is consumed. That fuckin' shutoff valve is called motherfuckin' heartburn. Instead, my inner retarded kid went apeshit and chugged half the gallon. I did not taste nor smell any alcohol whatsoever but my old friend Brian probably did the mix since he was a bartender. Why my friend Brian and my best friend Krystal are both bartenders or have been. Now that I am tanked, I am going to sound very sociologically comedic and my old-school me of when I was somewhat of a curseaholic will appear in fuckin' sporadic intervals. No matter what anyone says, alcohol isn't stupid juice, it is an ATTITUDE and PERSONALITY ENHANCER so if you do a lot of stupid shit when drunk well... So please don't take anything that may sound offensive seriously. It is all for the funny moment I am thanks to good ole alcohol put in chocolate milk. Go ether lactose.

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It was raining like a pack of one dollar bills on a stripper's stage where I lived today which means it blasted down hard for about three seconds but happens in ten minute intervals. That is damn Florida weather for you but it has been getting crazier than usual. It seems that nature is more pissed off at us than usual and if you want to see the kamehameha epitome of pissed off by nature, look no further than California. When I lived in California, it was considered one of the best places to live weather-wise despite living on God's etch-n-sketch. However, it seems like God is angry at the state and instead of drawing on the etch-n-sketch, he whipped his dick out and is cornholing the motherfucker to little bits and pieces. I mean they are getting intense quakes going 6.0 or higher on the r-scale. Then God seems very sad that he broke his etch-n-sketch and cries a lot thus all the damn mudslides. Oh say it ain't so. All those rich prissy white people getting buried underneath a coagulation of chemicals, dirt, dog shit, bird poo, and condoms. Oh say it ain't so. Then to finish it off, God gets angry that his etch-n-sketch is broken and loaded with tears that he sets the entire motherfucker on fire. There have been oodles and oodles of forest fires in California and what's bad is that these forests are full of weed. That's sad! Even the firefighters are like...

Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh shit! Let's make creampies out of tree sap and moose poo! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!.

I don't know if you know this but California is loaded with Catatonic Weed and that weed is crazy shit. I had it before and you forget to do stuff. You forget to take a shit for like four days. I know because I did. Then when it went down that bathroom became home sweet home for five hours plus the toilet became a casualty when I was finished with it.

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I will say that getting God's anger and sadness and all of that is sad but there seems to be no difference when you get God's wet dream. I am talking about all you upper states spanning from Washington state all the way east to Mass and Virginia going just above halfway down. This includes the one state that where most of my friends on SG are here, Ohio. You all know that state right? The one state that has the welcoming sign that says...

Welcome to Ohio! What the fuck are you doing here!? Turn around and leave NOW!

or...

Thanks for moving to Ohio! Now you're fuckin' stuck here dumbass!

Seriously though, Ohio is one of the few states synonymous with industry and I don't mean just the fuckin' hobo eight-hour job working on the line, I am talking about rock. This state is like a cesspool when it comes to power, industrial, emo, and goth rock. They are all here. The only other states that seem to buttfuck this state out of the top three are Wisconsin, Iowa, and Idaho which is very weird since there is even less shit out in those states than Ohio and Ohio gets more shit for being the "U ARE TRAPPED HERE FOREVER! MWAH! HA! HA!" state. Nevertheless, it was awesome when I was there and a lot of my favorite people are from Ohio. Rourke is located in Ohio. Phecda is located in Ohio. Even my most favorite-ist person on the SG entire world is in Ohio, Ayastigi, which on a sidenote it kinda makes me sad that she isn't on as much anymore which comes to my theory that for some girls, once they go pink they seem to disappear. Actually I'll be honest and say that if my career and job had nothing to do with being in front of a computer, I probably would not be here too as much. Maybe once every two weeks.

Back to God's wet dream. These states get this for about a max of six months or less and you guys like to have fights in them, catch them on your tongue, and make angels in God's spooge. You guy's call in Blizzards but it's God's wet dream or him giving the Earth a creampie. Actually that's more like it. God is giving Mama Earth a creampie and impreganating her and if you don't believe it think of it like this. God coats Mama Earth with his soldiers of fortune and eventually these soldiers will penetrate down like sperm busting through the outer shell of an egg and then fuckin' trees, bushes, and grass start to appear all over the damn place. There! I win! BAH! biggrin

Seriously though, it would be nice to live where God seems to just blast his version of a cum cocoon onto us compared to where I live which is Florida. I love it here but its humid all year round thus we have the seasons hot and very hot, and the skeeters are the most fuckin' annoying motherfuckers in the world but only second to lovebugs. Not to mention, STD season for Florida starts from April and ends in November where we get hit with the Earth's STDs. Florida is the unprotected cock of the United States and if you look closely, it looks like we are going to take a piss on Cuba and the we just can't seem to get it all the way up. And the reason why I say STD season is because of this...

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That's right ladies and gents! Nothing like a storm cloud that swirls around and looks like a fuckin' STD virus heading are way. And just like most STDs, hurricanes are given names that don't inspire fear. Kinda like...

Person #1: Oh God! I have AIDS!
Person #2: Really? I need some of those to do my taxes, my laundry, take care of my children...

Say it with me: THAT WAS STUPID! *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* *Clap* *Clap*. But still, it holds true for what we here in Florida do have. Like Hurricane Jemima. Maybe she'll come over and cook me some damn pancakes. Or Hurricane Terrance. Sounds like a slightly gay hurricane saying, "I may go to Boca, I may go to South Beach, but no matter where, I know blowing is involved!" YES!

Maybe when all is said and done, I may just want to go back home where I originally came from though it may sound boring. I was born in Fort Sill, Oklahoma. Kinda weird since I am Filipino but that is where all the army soldiers were sent back in the day to train and my dad is an army veteran and on the side, I so support our troops in general. Please be nice to them generally when they come back home. We don't need another Vietnam incident where the veterans were treated like gutter shit. Anyways, I am originally from Oklahoma and that area is devoid of any major natural disasters. I am talking about the bread basket states which include that little middle bit of area so if you are from Oklahoma, Kansas, Arkansas, and around those areas, well you are devoid of any real disaster. Instead those states get little bits of disasters. God won't cry you a river but maybe a glass full of water, maybe two. Instead of the huge STD known as a hurricane, we'll give you infections God likes to call tornados but he'll multiply it be ten. For reference, what's the difference between redneck divorce and a tornado? Nothing because someone is losing a trailer! Finally, God won't give thsoe states a wet dream but a nice pearl necklace. Maybe a facial. Pretty much, those states are this...

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And if you don't know what the picture above is, it is the Pu-Pu Platter which is a sampling of every appetizer in Oriental restuarants. The forementioned states are the Pu-Pup Platter of the United States. They get a sample of what everyone else has in full. biggrin

Well I am almost done with this epic blog but something caught my eye reading from one of my friend's blogs. Anyways, I hope you all know Phecda, the super gorgeous girl who loves Pokemon for some reason. Ha! Ha! I choose you! Sorry, nerdy moment! Anyways, her blog actually did a rant on some people giving her bullshit tags. Now I am a firm believer in preference but what I saw there was specialization. Some people don't prefer big boobs but there are plenty of people that do. There are some people who prefer BBW and some who don't but I believe in respecting the preferences of others as long as 1.) they don't hurt anyone directly and 2.) they are truly honest on it. I do not go for liking something because someone you know likes it. YOU gotta like it. Anyways Phecda was...

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Then she became very...

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All because people were arrogant towards other girls she knows on this site. I love how this site isn't specialized when it comes to what beauty is. Sets are actually bought by SG by how popular they are by the community and there are just a range of beauty here. There are girls who are traditional pin-up but break the barrier by being open-minded and willing to understand other views. Naruka and Dot are good examples because they don't have the whole tattoo and piercing setup like a rocker yet they are very admired here. We have some very beautiful girls with beautiful minds who have a huge array of different hobbies and interests including AmeTsuki and Eureka_ (Who should be pink by now dammit!). And finally, with the exception of conventions, I haven't seen so many anime loving girls in one setting that wasn't based on the love of anime like Animingle or Anime Sushi or the boards from anime companies like Funimation or Viz. So this site is just a huge community but the bigger a community gets the more devoid of understanding it steers towards to.

I understand why Phecda is saying a lot of girls are leaving because of the constant drivel they may get from the arrogant. I personally am able to handle such drivel with my unique trait of apathy. Say all you want about me since my apathy will kick in and if you are someone I am apathetic towards to and we are in the same room and you choke on something, you better pray that someone else shows up because my apathy will kick in again as in, "Hmmmm, I seem to not feel anything from this so and so choking in front of me." I would say sorry that's the way I'm built but once again apathy kicks in and I really wouldn't feel sorry at all. tongue And just for the record, that seems to be the line that makes "those kind of people" leave me alone since they hate it when they don't exist. And on the vice versa, I don't feel anything if they don't care about me. They were people I didn't feel anything for in the first place. biggrin

Back to subject, I understand preferences so keep with that but respect other people's preferences. I surely hope all the wonderful girls here and notice I said "wonderful" because I am sure there are "bad" ones here too, get pass the arrogance because it would be sad if a good girl leaves because of one assclown who has been cornholed one too many times. But I also try to show a relative and adaptive on the situation on asking why. I'll stick with Phecda since she's on topic and HAWT! She wrote that people think she's orange. This confused me so I went back and looked at her pictures and NOPE it isn't me so there might be something the matter with the other side. To those who see Phecda as orange, please check to see if your brightness, hue, and saturation on your computer screens are adjusted correctly. If the color schemes are off, then maybe that is why you are seeing this gorgeous girl the color of construction. But maybe it's not your computer and maybe your eyes. You might have an inability to recognize color and maybe if I introduce one of Phecda's pictures in a shade with a darker array of orange, it might counteract your handicap so since I am such a humanitarian...

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TA-DAAAAA! Well I kinda gave her more of a bronzer look like a really good tan but bear with me. I was rushing on the work. So there you go my good friends. I hope now you see Phecda in her original color and may I suggest not jerking off too much. They do say that if you wax your carrot a little too much, you'll go blind but there will be signs like loss of depth perception or inability to recognize colors. I suggest doing something a bit more productive like playing video games, drinking beer, or smoking weed. Besides if you

Finally, the other little negative taglature Phecda got was her awesome boobies being supposedly fake. Now I just have to look at the pictures and I know its fuckin' real. For you all who don't know a pair of fake tities from real ones, I suggest maybe sticking your head between a nice pair of real titties when you go to a titty bar. I will help you out since 1.) my two best friends are girls and one of them has some awesomely huge titties and 2.) I used to be a bouncer for a boobie bar. First off, for all of you who want to actually see how real big titties work, I need you to go to the grocery store and buy two huge ziplock bags that hold at least half a gallon of anything and fill it up with Jell-o. I could say water but that fuckin' shit is boring unless we are talking about water from Russia which is Vodka. So fill those bags up with Jell-o about three quarters of the way or even pudding. I prefer vanilla or tapioca. Something about little fishballs in my pudding make me happy and no they are not really fuckin' fishballs dammit! Anyways, fill them three quarters full then close the bag up and hold them at the seam where you close them. Then just lay them flat on the ground, push them up from the bottom, hang them off the table, and get creative. Notice how they mold and move right? Well that is how real titties move. Just look and Phecda's pictures and you'll notice that her boobs mold with whatever force may be applied to them. Now for fake big titties, get the same bag and stuff it with a bowling ball. Notice how they keep their shape no matter what and notice that if you were teabagged by a bag with a bowling ball, it would knock you the fuck out. Well fake titties are hard too.

So I hope you learned a little something something and won't be such a clusterfuck cockmaster to awesome girls next time. Maybe you learned a little bit of yourself there. Actually, I had a fuckin' blast writing this blog so I think I'll do the exact same thing next Tuesday. Just get really fuckin' tanked and write away. So until next time my fellow penis pumps! Live life well and if you think there is something up your ass, I suggest you check. It could be the controller to the television you lost last weekend.

Love Ya All!
MARCH 25, 2010 @ 10:43 PM | 14 COMMENTS




Hello the entire SG Wonderland! 26 on the 26th is here and if you don't get it, today is officially my birthday. I am already loaded with messages on my Facebook and Myspace and people are hitting my phone up like crazy. Kinda something worthwhile when people take account of your birthday when you yourself don't really. However, for some reason, today is a more worthwhile birthday and maybe because it is coincidental that I turn twenty-sixth on the twenty-sixth of March. So for this special and rare-type update, I'll post up plenty of questions people seem to ask about me on my Myspace and Facebook and even put an answer in. Maybe you'll have a better understanding why I am how I am because I know for a fact I am very unorthadox and different on many levels. So here we go with the posting of an interview spanning from Myspace, Facebook, my former and self-cancelled profile from LiveJournal, my former and cancelled profile at EditRed, and even from the former website I used to work out, ICE. I'll even throw in questions people ask me personally too.

jIt says on your profile that you love all forms of media. What do you mean by that?

It is exactly as it sounds. I love all forms of media either they be movies, video games, televison shows, writing, drawing, photography, or books. Because of this love of all forms of media, I am never bored ever.

You say you love all forms of media but when it comes to music and such it seems you listen to rock and reggaeton more than anything else. Should you be saying that you love reggaeton and rap music instead of just loving music in general as well as this question pertains to any form of media.

Those are personal preferences not specialization. I do not specialize when it comes to anything for being open-minded keeps options open and open options means opportunities. True a lot of my playlist and most of the unofficial themes of characters as well as novels I write are mostly rap but I listen to everything. It just so happens that most of my list consists of rock and reggaeton. Show you reason to it, I love Ricky Martin and he's a latin pop singer and I love Gretchen Wilson and she's a country singer. I love Josh Bell and he is classical violin. Kristin Chenoweth is broadway. Andrew Lloyd Webber is soundtrack. Roxette is 80s pop. Marilyn Manson is industrial rock. Calle 13 is pop reggaeton. See where I am getting at? So I don't specialize but my mind is set to personal preferences.

You're considered as a New Kingdom Pluralist. What exactly is that?

Pluralism is the belief that all faiths and religion all come from the same faith and religion but have been seperated, segregated, and divided throughout time and history. The reason why New Kingdom is tact on the very beginning is because every faith can be relative to the Abrahamic Faiths compared to any other thus I believe all the faiths in the world are associatively linked or drawn from the Abrahamic Faiths. Give you an example with Greek Mythology. There are twelve main gods when it comes to Greek/Roman Mythology and there are twelve main gods in Norse Mythology thus the relative there but if you want to go into the Abrahamic Faiths, there are twelve main angels in the heiarchy of God's angels who interact with people like the gods of Greek Mythology and Norse Mythology did. The archangel Michael is best used to be relative to Zeus and Thor for he used a hammer as a weapon and controlled lightning.

You're a New Kingdom Pluralist yet it says you are also Agnostic so how can that be?

Agnosticism is the belief that you cannot prove or disprove the existence of God rationally. I honestly believe we cannot prove or disprove the existence of God and that most of it will be based off faith which I believe is the strongest part of a person if they make it so. It is the only part that cannot be taken away from you unless you do so. Think of the one inch in V for Vendetta.

Yet you seem to "hate" or "attack" Agnostics in your second novel Tourniquet so how can you say you are an Agnostic if you put them at such a negative position in your second novel?

I am an Agnostic but I am what is called an Weak Agnostic Theist which means I believe you cannot prove or disprove the existence of God yet I still believe. Also, the "weak" part comes in not because I don't lack faith or anything like that. It is a term given to those who believe in Agnosticim but feel the need not to change the belief of everyone else. There are really many identifications for Agnosticism but three are mostly used and two classes are used as well. The three identities are Agnostic Neutral, Agnostic Theist, and Agnostic Atheist and the two classes are weak and strong Agnostic. From the description I gave of where I stand, I ams sure you can figure out the rest of the classes.

Now you say you believe in God but you state yourself as an Anarchist. Isn't that opposing to your belief?

There are two forms of Anarchy and they are Chaos - which everyone seems to relate to Anarchy - and Order. The purest form of Order only happens in the beginning and the purest form of Chaos will happen in the End of time and the world. Now this is all government based and I believe in the seperation of church and state. I honestly believe that people should be able to govern themselves without the need or help of an outside government but it is a dream and I understand that. Too many factors come into play for why Anarchy will not exist such as for the United States it will be that we are driven generally by greed and vanity. We don't just want the biggest, fastest, strongest, but we want the biggest, fastest, strongest than him or her or this country or that country.

But underneath political views, it says "Rationalist". Where did that come from?

I am actually prefer ratiocination which is what Detective Dupin used during his adventures written by Edgar Allan Poe. Anyways, I believe in personal responsibility and thus there are factors that come in on the individual than there are on the society. I'll give the example of abortion. The rationalist view on abortion is it should be an option depending on the situation such as rape, or the life established is going to die, but it is an option, not a demand. Now if pregnancy occurs on behalf of personal choice, then abortion should be a two-person (mother and father) decision but the woman of course has more say since she is carrying. The man can only put in his views. Now all in all, if you decide to choose from that point for irresponsibility I won't stop you but that's just the rationalized view on personal responsibility since there are so many other options out there. On other hand, I believe we should have abortion clinics here for safety reasons for if we ban abortion here, a woman who is bent on abortion will go elsewhere and elsewhere may not be safe like per se Mexico. There are so many factors but I won't go into detail.

It says you state yourself as a Bright Green Environmentalist. What is that exactly?

It is another class of environmentalism. There are three classes. The first class is called Light Green Environmentalist. This is what Al Gore as in the world needs our help and everyone needs to help out to make it better. Dark Green Environmentalists are your terroristic environmentalist. Imagine a war in which the terrorists are killing people because companies pollute the waters and destroy the forests. Now what I am is a Bright Green Environmentalist is a person who believes in changing and helping the earth without the need or help of everyone thus I'll be able to do my part and that will be better than good or I'll make something that will assimilate well into society without any rejections.

Finally it says you are a Universalist. What is that exactly?

A believe everything happens on a universal standard which is mostly based around Universal Laws of Space, Time, and Quantum. Space and Time have been already specialized into science in the forms of Newton's Laws of Inertia and Gravity but his third law is still unbeknowest from all being Quantum. This is however been used in the forms of positive reinforcement per se "The Secret". I love that book but it comes off too much as a self-help book and that seems to be one of the reasons why it is so undermined. There are many other views like karma which I believe but all of the Universalist views comes from the attitude and the personalogy and mentality of a mind per se Dianetics. Give an example with two people having the same event of almost getting hit by a car happen to them yet one is positive and one is negative. Positive person will see it as being blessed that he or she wasn't hit while the negative person will see it as he or she is cursed for almost being hit. Also, the bit of karma is that good things happen to good people and bad things happen to bad people and what you are will come back to you tenfold. If you're a hustler then life will hustle you because you make it so. More events of you being a huster will come into play because you expect them because you are a hustler. Things like that.

A lot of people say you have a very open-minded view and very understanding view of people thus why you are a sociologist but isn't that just something like psychology too?

Very similar with different outcomes. Psychology puts the emphasis of the blame on society while sociology will recognize factors all around but will put the responsibiliy of said factors on you. It is your choice and your perception of said events that makes you.

There is word that most of your friends are girls and that you understand them more but mostly those who are in what is known as "The Negative End of Society". Why is that?

I think there are many factors but two come into play more. First off, my best friend since kindergarten is a girl and second, I used to be a bouncer for a strip club. My best friend Dizzy has always been there and has seen me change and I seen her change and maybe we learned from each other. Before I was a bouncer, I had this very negative and disgusting view about strippers but once I got into the business, I learned and maybe that is why I see people for who they are and not what they look like. I found some of the most visually appealing girls who are nasty and disgusting inside and vice versa. I even found the extreme rarity of extremly gorgeous girls who you stereotype as snobbish or prissy by how they look then find out they love comic books and is a huge nerd. So I always take people from an understanding. And when I say understanding of people, I don't just mean girls but everyone as well.

So all these things caters to you always being a happy person all the time and just letting things be when they come?

The one piece of the universe I know I can control is my own so I make it good, make it well, make it just. Being a good sociologist is also being able to do two things very well. The first is to relate to people now relating doesn't mean empathy for you may not understand a person's pain if you never experienced it. You can only relate to a person with pain you had if you had it. The next thing a good sociologist will do is adapt. Adapting is very important for it means you can change with the times and the situation thus moving forward but to move forward, you have to take care of what is presently happening.

Is there anything that makes you angry, upset, or sad.

Despite the fact that I try to understand people and I do a very good job getting along with people, I am always judged and misunderstood because of how unorthadox my interests are, how open-minded I am, and how unlike everyone else's view I am. Not to mention the super-happiness. I used to be bitter and angry and without a conscience so that was a mixture that will always be remembered especially from my best friend. Imagine someone who is chaotic and knows how to vandalize correctly? That was me. That changed when I found my atittude was hurting people not associated with my attitude but with me. People how hated me back then would not comfront me but comfront my friends and even my family because I was related to them. They thought hurting them would hurt me. That is when I realized my epiphany.

However, I am always judged and misunderstood thus I love it when someone actually asks me questions to truly understand me. If someone doesn't get what I am saying or they misunderstand me, I love it when they ask me a question to understand because they actually cherish the moment or the relationship they have with me and I love, respect, and am very thankful for that because I would do the same thing too. Now I say question me to understand me because people like to question to justify as in to put justification on what they believe. Good example, is someone thinks I am weird then they ask what I like and I say anime and video games and they go "oh" and walk away with look on their face like something has been accomplished on their behalf. I know that look very well.

I also personally do better when I am in direct communication of a person as in face to face. I love to communicate but I am not gifted with all the conversation tactics that a Gemini would have since I am not a dual person. I am a straight-forward person and the fact I talk in personification, metaphor, and use a lot of big words and intelligence/wisdom quotes throws people off. Let's say it is stormy outside. Someone might say that the storm clouds are like reapers crying. Well that is a simile. I would usually say the storm clouds are crying or the reapers are crying giving the clouds a direct human trait or pesonalizing it. Think of Hannibal Lecter but with happiness and without the urge to kill. I talk like that a lot. My sister calls it JAN-SPEAK. However you can figure out what I am saying from the two most important factors of communication which are tone (20%) and body language (75%). Only 5% of communication is the actual words. It is hard to express tone and body language online. I mean I can do some internet stuff like TYPE IN ALL CAPS TO BE ANGRY! or Go weally cute-C 4 HAP-E-NESS while U R My BFF N EVA but still that is just words and you don't truly know how a person is really expressing themselves online.

I would go on with more detail but I am not going to cater much on what makes me sad and the above is actually all of it summarized. I'll just say that I thought I was hoping a lot more people here would be more understanding because this site does cater to a group within society that is judged and misjudged a lot.

It is said you cater to three views a lot. What are these three views you cater to and explain them please.

The first is common sense. Though recognized as very rare it is very well recognized as everyone states that common sense is lacking. It is the other two that are even more rare because they aren't recognized. The second is common courtesy which is like being nice, leaving the elevator door open for someone running for the elevator, holding doors open, saying excuse me, saying thank you, saying PLEASE which is very rare! I mean I understand people forgetting every once in awhile but still. The final one is just almost dead thus why a lot of factors on problems exist. The final view is personal responsibility. I believe everyone is responsible for everything that happens to them as in they are responsibile for the view and the prospect that they can do so for said events and situations as it pertains to themselves personally. People care way too much of what other people are doing and thinking as well as what other people think of them too. I met so many people say that they don't care about what other people think. If you don't care, then why bring it up. I person with personal responsibility would actually say, "I person is free to think what they like about me for I am responsible for myself." See the difference.

It is said you don't don't mind ignorance but everyone hates ignorance. Why not you?

Because everyone is ignorant to something. If you told me to speak something in an African language, I would be ignorant to it. That is the truth. It is not ignorance that gets to me but arrogance. Everyone is ignorant to something but a lot of people are also arrogant about it. Example of arrogance through ignorance is someone not knowing what Polo is then calling it stupid and idiotic because he didn't know it. That's arrogance. This is also where the concept of assumption and specialization comes into play too.

You used to be a huge druggie when you were younger yet you were never addicted. How did you do that?

I won't say in case someone wants to try it. If you do then do so but that is your own personal responsibility but I am not a source for information on how. Let's just leave it that drugs is chemistry and the human body is chemistry.

For someone who is so happy and accomplished, why are you single?

*NOTE - This was an awesome question asked personally from one of my girlfriends (she's a girl and my friend) to me.

First I am happy with my life and it is a matter of it will happen when it will happen. I am very social yet I am very well on my own. I am successful on my own. I cater as much to what I believe in though not perfect I do my best and that is what matters. I think the major factor on why I am single is because I am able to do well on my own and that I just don't seem to feel it anymore with anyone. Maybe it's because back in 2008 I had a string of bad attempted relationships and it just catered to my indifference.

Also, I don't do "hook-ups" and all of that. I give everything if I am in a relationship so I am really guarded. I will be honest and very open and very emotional per se with everyone but when I give my scarred heart and the broken pieces of my soul to you, then I am praying and hoping this is it. Only two people in my life have and will always take care of my scarred heart and my broken soul and they are my best friends. My family does their best but there is an understanding only you get from someone like that. Also, take note I say scarred heart and broken soul because it used to be but is healed but still fragile though forged in platinum now through the years.

How I see it, I think I've found the one when I look into her eyes and I start hearing awesome 80s love songs or very emotional rock love ballads. Maybe the song I posted above would be the best interpretation of it. I honestly can see there is someone like that though I may not know who exactly it is right now. It may be someone I know or it may be someone new. Nevertheless she'll be the only reason and I'll know when I look at her.
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I seriously hope you all enjoyed this blog and maybe you'll understand me a bit more. Though simple, there are so many simple things to learn about me that maybe it will account to something. Until I write again, I hope you all are doing well.

Faith. Love. Hope. Will.
MARCH 22, 2010 @ 04:55 PM | 4 COMMENTS


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The BEST LIFE EVA is here again and I have to say a very big and lovely HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Naruka. She's working today from 9AM to 5PM - which is my guess on the AM and PM - but I am sure she'll have a blast either later on today or sometime later on this week. I'm not a big go-getter when it comes to my birthday but since this is the BEST LIFE EVA, my birthday will be on the same day How to Train Your Dragon comes out in theaters and the inner child in me wants to so watch that movie with a bag of movie popcorn and 3D glasses. That is also going to be a super workday for me since I work my degree from 8AM to 5PM then work in clothing retail (Kohl's yo!) from 6PM to 11:30PM. Yep! I can see the cake and the stripper now. biggrin

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It was awesome seeing my sister Rissa again after all these years (Girl on the very right!). I am also so glad I am so open-minded and understanding about the situation with her too. Pretty much, she moved in with her boyfriend - who was my best friend from back in the day. We are still very good friends and he's known me since 1993. Why he's known my sister since then too so thats almost a decade to build a relationship they now have. My family is very angry at my sister but I'm not because 1.) she's old enough to make her decisions as in twenty and 2.) she was being repressed living with my mom. That is why I moved out of my mom's house at sixteen. Though she is very loving and all, she tries a little too hard but I truly believe nobody knows how to be a parent and they just kinda learn as they go on.

It wa also awesome seeing Amanda (Girl in the middle!). She has known me since last year and we have been very excellent friends ever since. What I love about this girl is she unjudging and willing to know the basis behind a person which is what I do. Reason why I do that is because of my unorthadox views and personality - though super cartoon happy - is very misunderstood. People expect dishonesty and though I may not be perfect I prefer honesty. I also noticed that the most honest and realest people in our world are also SINGLE for some reason. Tony Horton, Debbie Seibers, Andrea Datwyler, Mahatma Ghandi, Mother Teresa, Miranda Richardson, Gerald Butler, etc. I have an understanding why but it doesn't make it concrete ya know. Anyways, I love Amanda since she is just a very shiny ball of sunshine whenever anyone is around her. I seem to make her laugh for some reason though - like everyone else that truly knows me.

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I am blazing my Nikon D3000 and someone found out I used to do professional photography for giggles. I did but it's nothing I really care much on doing again. I'll do favors and all but nothing big and not for pay. Instead, I use my photography now for events and special projects. I am actually working on this brand new project with three pictures of me and my friend Holly. Wait! Give me a second and I'll find a cute picture of us somewhere. Got it!

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Anyways, there will be three pictures and they'll be in black and white with certain things in color kinda like Sin City. First picture will be me putting on this necklace I bought her actually from MegaCon 2010. Next picture will be me biting her neck, and the final picture is the vamp pic yo! Yep! I'm doing vampire pics. I'll post them up when I get them done using the uber cool drawing pad I bought for my computer. Check out the pad I got from Best Buy through the link below.

Wacom Intous4 Medium Art Pad

YAY ME! And to finish this Mack-Tastic post! I bought some awesome books as well and it all was underneath $100 but that Mediteranean (<- Spellcheck Please) Chicken Pressed Flatbread brought it over but it was a-okay! It was GOOD! Here are the books I bought!

1. Lilah: A Forbidden Love, A People's Destiny by Marek Halter
2. The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini
3. A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini
4. Twenties Girl by Sophie Kinsella
5. Are You There, Vodka? It's Me, Chelsea by Chelsea Handler
6. My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler
7. Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang by Chelsea Handler
8. The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo by Steig Larsson
9. The Girl Who Played With Fire by Steig Larsson
10. Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn by Tera Patrick

Also Avatar is coming to Blu-ray and DVD on April 22nd yo so pre-order like I did!

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And a little bit of self-promotion! My second novel Tourniquet is now OUT! It is available for special order at your local Barnes & Noble, Borders, or Books-a-Million so check it out! Also, here is something special for you all who love to read.

Chapter 1

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Gwendolyn Anderson placed the last details of her makeup by adding the final touches of eyeliner. As she let out a deep breath, she looked down on the invitation to the event she was invited to. This was the biggest and most important event for the organization which Gwendolyn reviewed and researched on for the past six years since its start back in the turn of the century.
Those were perilous times for the faithful due to the turn in choices of certain media. Some truths are a necessity to remain a secret for it may change the world, but all truths have one destiny and that is to be revealed. The truths exposed during that year, just through the entertainment of fiction, was enough to cause a nation to rise, another nation to fall, and for everyone involved to question more than ever but always searching for more questions and never coming to an answer which would make sense. Now the world is in turbulence. People want to call it the End of Days but it really is just an exposure of the truth...the types of truths that were ill-fated to keep secret from the many that have faith as their primary base.

Gwendolyn held herself in composure on physicality but her emotion was starting to expose her true nature towards certain things which happened like a string theory upon her sanity. A lonesome tear ran down the side of her beautiful face as she came to grips with it, but she knew that things weren’t ever going to be the same when it came to her faith.

“Everything changes but it should be towards a direction of understanding,” Gwendolyn whispered to herself.

Humanity did change as time went by and she remembered how she also took part in the source of the changes. It was one year before the changes begin and she had a strong belief in her faith. The sun was shining upon her like the caressing hands of caring. In many senses she felt caressed with the warmth of hope and happy to be alive for her choices she made have made her successful. Not just in life, but for life. People can be successful in life and not enjoy it, thus losing their appreciation for it. Gwendolyn was one of the few who were blessed to have success and the appreciation for it.

During that time she was working for the best avionics company in the world using her degree for what she wanted to be: an engineer. She was on her lunch break when she was approached by a fellow co-worker who read multiple books like she did. He introduced her to the book that would start the changes in the world: The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown. Even though the majority of the worldwide reading population read this book, the majority really isn’t an impact on the actual population. However, within those who read this book, some decided researching was far more important on matters that seemed to go against the views, or the implemented views, of billions of people worldwide.

Out of the publication of the book—besides a lot of hatred and controversy among the Catholic Church and Christianity in general—came those who sought more of the truth from the novel. Multiple references were used in the novel and the people who searched for a deeper understanding of why Dan Brown did his research started yet again even with more initiative than to just write a book.
Out of this uprising, a small contingent formed out of Harvard and soon they became to be known as the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite: a group of over one hundred agnostic students whom researched the major flaws in religion. They focused mainly on the most major religions such as Islam, Judaism, and of course Christianity and its many affiliates and dominations.

Soon, their research spanning from the major name of Harvard started to make an impact on society. More and more people who read The Da Vinci Code were drawn to the enigmatic research and power towards agnosticism and their ways to research how religion is flawed. Many points from the infamous novel were researched, some proven true such as the Priory of Sion, Opus Dei, and the banned gospels that were rejected from the Bible. As more and more research was utilized and even brought through documentaries, more and more people have joined the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite.

Despite their importance and strength, they were not the one group that really made a major impact on the modern society of today. Even though the novel was a major hit and came first, it was the movie based off of the novel that caused heads to turn and make people question like an agnostic. The airing of the movie was a very controversial airing for it was an excellent movie. But once again it caused people to question the church, question the claims of Catholicism, and the authenticity of the Bible.

Questions such as power and greed in the Catholic Church were questioned far more now to the point that it was more of a threat instead of research. Because of the movie another elite group made from agnostic film producers formed out of Yale. This time, it had more of an impact because more people were able to relate to the movie since more people are willing to watch a movie than read a book.

This group was then known as the Formalized Educated Agnostic Religion, thus establishing themselves as a religion of their own. Their motto was, “Proof before worship and worship without proof is heresy towards the truth”. The widespread hatred and praise of the movie caused the numbers of agnostics within this group to grow. As more and more people joined, showing more documentaries people actually watched more than reality television, the faithful begin to question then wane from their faith for this was tangible proof. Truth researched and proven real, just like Dan Brown’s research for writing his controversial novel.

Within one year, because of both the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite and the Formalized Educated Agnostic Religion, over 50% of anyone who had religion turned against it. Due to their major destructive research into the Christian fallacies, they soon turned their eyes to affiliations of Christianity.

Soon Islam was countered and attacked on all levels, for the religion itself is somewhat a sibling of Christianity, and both were the spawn of Judaism. As for Judaism, since it was actually the beginning of the major three religions in the world, it was assaulted by both the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite and the Formalized Educated Agnostic Religion as the beginning of the lies. All of this research, all of this change, caused by the publication of one novel and a movie based off that very novel. All of these events in the chain were due to just one little spark of questions and answers.

Within three years of the movie, all religions were considered false and only a minority of people kept holding onto their faith. It may have been a minority of people but it still had a large number of people. Despite their differing views and beliefs, all the religions decided to unite together to protect their faith, their right to believe.
Because of this movement, it brought new hope to those with faith, that they had a fighting chance. Their faith remained strong despite major blows such as the fall of the city of Mecca, the refusal of printing holy books such as the Bible or Koran. Even the fall of the Vatican was a major blow. But, still, the people of strong faith remained true due to their faith.

This is what enlightened Gwendolyn. In many ways, she felt so bad she questioned her faith, but the major impact of both of those groups has even made her question faith. Now she felt like it was the one personal sin she would never be forgiven for.

With her renewed enlightenment within her soul, she was able to progress in a different direction and become the voice of the people whom held on to their faith. Quitting her job, she decided to become a research journalist and do even more research work and get undercover scoops on both the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite and the Formalized Educated Agnostic Religion.

Backed by the self-education of reading many books, her research and journal skills were astounding to the point that it went beyond the journalistic to sometimes a very extreme cognitive to what is self-evident. In her research alone, she was able to use different aspects of literature and English against both groups. In one case, she retaliated on behalf of faith that both groups were established by hate and fear. Agnosticism, though general yet strong enough to turn heads in her review, is a belief established by both feelings. To top off her research, she was able to figure out that if you take the first letter of each word in both organizations, you are able to spell the words “hate” and “fear”.

Years later, after Gwendolyn’s choice to quit her career as a supervisor to become a journalist for the faithful, she has established herself as the strongest informant for faith. Brought about with both controversy as well as praise, the HATE and FEAR—as the people of faith so affectionately called them—believed Gwendolyn to be the unbreakable thorn on their sides. Because of this, they decided to join in a merger and in the process, changing their name to the Agnostic Alliance or better known as Double A. Using the far more refined researching tools and tactics of the former HATE, combined with the better connections and ability to mass market and spread information through media of the former FEAR, they were able to establish themselves on a higher prominence than anyone of them on their own could do.

Last year was their greatest victory for they were recognized as an official religion and then became the religion most people had in the world, now beating all three former major religions together. A lot of the followers of the Double A were former Christians, Muslims, and Judaists. The Double A even had former members of cults and smaller religions such as Hinduism and even the spiritual cults of land, sea, and air.
This was the time of the agnostic movement and the agnostic thought is now the most dominant thought around. Anyone else of different faiths were ridiculed and hated. Some of them were assassinated, such as the Pope. Even Gwendolyn had a couple of assassination attempts put on her through her life. But despite it all, she remained strong along with those who had a belief in their faith still.

Faith even had a fighting chance with Gwendolyn Anderson now on their side, helping them through, paving the way. It seemed that with due time the Double A was going to fall.
However, the Double A was actually established through a secondary person. The person who gave the idea and the understanding to merge and in everyway, the most powerful agnostic the Double A has. This leader was so strong and proud of the agnostic view, that this person even asked everyone on worldwide television, through another person on high credibility, to stop assassination attempts on those who still had faith for they would die off eventually. So in ways, this leader saved Gwendolyn Anderson from someone hateful taking her life in murder. The leader even took time to have a documentary interview with Gwendolyn. This was actually the most watched event on television for the new millennium and everyone turned to it, avoiding their reality television shows, game shows, and new releases in movies.

The interview was expected to be so extremely intense that when this interview was planned they surrounded the interview table in a large room surrounded by multiple guards. The room was lit up only by the antique lamp on the antique table with two antique chairs. In a typical interview, the chairs would be facing each other, one chair on each end of the table. However, this setup was quite different for the chairs were close together, only an arm’s diameter away from each other. They would pretty much sit next to each other like a married couple.

When the time came, Gwendolyn was invited in and she sat on her chair which was the blue chair. When she got to the center of the room, she saw the chair which was encrusted with blue sapphires and diamonds. She could only assume that that chair was her chair. The other antique chair had red rubies and pink crystals on them. A chef came by with a wheel cart full of his finest cuisine he personally made for this moment. The escargot smelled of the finest saffron and tarragon spices the wealthy could afford. The cheese soufflé and steamed vegetables were a delicacy, along with the sliced leg of lamb with garlic and spices cooked to perfection placed as the masterpiece in the center of the antique table. With this steaming dish filling the air, everything had an aroma of ambrosia and nectar. Everything was a delicacy of the highest and most intimate of taste and palette.

After the food was set and the wine glasses filled, the leader of the Double A approached with a highness in the step. The leader than sat down in the chair right next to Gwendolyn and smiled with the most intimate aspects of a sadistic half-smile.

“It is nice to finally meet you,” the leader formally introduced.

“It is also nice to meet you, too,” Gwendolyn answered casually.

“Well, before we start, I am a bit famished. Would you like to have anything to eat along with me?” the leader questioned.

“I would love to,” Gwendolyn answered, keeping her manners in check despite the fact she ate lunch already. Besides, her appetite was gleaming again by the eloquence of the banquet placed before her.

After having an excellent lunch and exchanging some talk and journalism, the leader asked ever so politely if she could ask a few questions as well. Gwendolyn, being nice and wanting to show some sign of thanks for the delicious meal, abide by the request and listened intently.

“I hear you are a Christian. Is that correct?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then how does it feel to be a believer in something that has been nearly wiped out?”

“I believe it is an honor for me and God that I have faith strong enough to survive through the constant times of your organization.”

“My organization isn’t that bad, is it?”

“I didn’t say it is bad, but it wants power.”

“Didn’t the church want power as well?”

“Well, the Catholic Church does but my church is more open to anything and everything. We are a group who are listeners.”

“Then listen to this. My organization has proven your faith to be of false accusations. If there is just one part of your faith that is false, then it pretty much demonizes the rest of it.”

“I do not believe that?”

“Why?”

Gwendolyn tried to think hard on her faith. However, the presence of the leader of the Double A and the major importance of this interview was of major amplitude. The television cameras just a ways down zooming on this very interview was also a dead giveaway to the stress as well. Gwendolyn wanted to give a strong front for those who still had faith.

“Because we…”

Gwendolyn froze and she could not answer such a question based off of something needed for proof. It was just too hard, too not right.

“Well, I guess your faith is just like your strength, it is fleeting.” The leader somewhat mocked with an insane half-smile.

“My strength is not fleeting!”

“So your faith is, right?”

Gwendolyn remained silent, feeling the leader did not deserve an answer to such a question.

“Don’t worry, for you will die off with the rest of your faith. If there is a God that you so believe in, he died off and is rotting somewhere out of your understanding you see.”

Gwendolyn lost her composure and actually grabbed the leader by the throat with both hands. She couldn’t believe it but she was being controlled by hatred. She had stooped down to the level of an agnostic and she knew it and she tried to resist but her mind had full control. Her heart was seized at the moment. The guards then grabbed her and held her arms behind her. They activated their cattle prods and aimed them towards her body. The other guards pointed their handguns towards her as well. She did not struggle knowing what would happen if she tried to. The leader than straightened up and went straight to her, grabbing her face and right then and there, kissed her. Gwendolyn tried to pry herself free, but all she got for her attempt was the prying of her jaw open so the leader could force a tongue into her mouth. After a minute of the disgusting act, the leader stepped back.

“I just committed an act of sodomy, yet I am not a pillar of salt.”

Gwendolyn actually held her tongue on that statement for she knew that sodomy by definition was anal sex but society had branded it with everything else that was disgusting and atrocious by what society wants it to be.The leader was smiling her half-smile and she turned around and walked away. When she reached the door, she snapped her fingers and the guards let Gwendolyn go. This seemed to be a setup. This battle was won by agnosticism but the war was far from over yet.

It has been just one year since Gwendolyn met that woman, the leader of the Double A. Now she was invited to go to the ballroom ceremony at the Duchess High Hotel in Miami, which was the big conference meeting ceremony for the Double A. The big plans of the future of that organization would be discussed there.
Gwendolyn tried last year to get in but was rejected. She was too popular among both the people who rejected her and supported her to get into the ballroom. It would show a lot of coverage for her journalism and maybe an excellent documentary on the inside of the Double A’s most prestigious event.

Just a good six hours till the event in Miami. Gwendolyn thought it would be wise to stay at a hotel the night prior, but she was busy with her last documentation towards the weakness of having no faith. She did get a lot of help from certain people from her past on reporting on people who were faithless.
Most of the time, faithless people were usually hopeless people as well. The hope they tried to show was either superficial or faulty. Whenever something has no proof, then you cannot judge the authenticity or the falsification of it, thus making it nearly wonderful or just perfect. She, however, did book a hotel for the weekend for she wanted to at least enjoy herself down in Miami, as well as business. Maybe catch up on former employees who moved down there as well. She then looked at the dress she wore in the mirror like a duchess preparing to descend the steps of her palace to the frivolity below. She frowned. By its look for it was a beautiful cross-necked dress but it was semi-sheer as well. The back was low cut and the jewelry which came along with it were blue sapphires and diamonds. Just like the chair she sat in during that one most important meeting with the leader of the Double A.

Gwendolyn then put on the heeled black leather sandals which came with the dress and she looked in the mirror yet again for final adjustments. She was the personified form of a mature and beautiful woman, but the reason behind it tonight was something she really did not care to dress up so formally and beautifully for. She looked at the invitation mailed to her along with the dress, jewelry, and sandals and she read it in her mind very slowly.

Dear Ms. Gwendolyn Anderson

You are cordially invited to the Agnostic Association’s exquisite and prestigious Ballroom Ceremony. It will be held this Saturday at the Duchess High Hotel, home of the Agnostic Alliance. The event starts at 8AM sharp.

For you, however, this is a VIP invitation and you will be treated with the highest respect and class. You have your own table reserved, and booking for a room at our hotel, if you choose to, is available and provided by the Agnostic Alliance. We hope to see you at our prestigious event.

The Leader of the Agnostic Alliance


Gwendolyn was ready to go. She’d packed all of her things, her reservation and some casual clothes in the back of her car’s trunk. She also brought along a book: Tarot Destined. She wasn’t much into the tarot before, but since all faiths joined in the right cause for the right to believe in their faith, she had a new understanding and respect for other religions and faiths.Besides all of that, the novel itself was an excellent understanding of life and the pitfalls, punishments, and awards of following or not following your heart. Gwendolyn also liked the book for even though it was simple, it had a very good meaning behind. Also, personally knowing the author might have something do with it. Tarot Destined was given to her from the author. But after the publication of this book, he left her and everyone else for he used to work with her in avionics.

Now that everything was ready to go—her supplies for the trip, a book to read before she sleeps, the necessities—she stepped into the car. Turning the ignition on, the engine roared to life like an efficient beast waking from slumber. Gwendolyn then looked at the clock and was able to estimate that she had only enough time to make it to the prestigious event on the dot. She then looked at the invitation yet again and this time, she turned it around. She then dropped her head and shook not believing that this is how she got invited. Everything was what the Double A wanted. Actually, only one person in the Double A wanted her there as she read the penned note on the back of the invitation.

Looking forward to kissing you again!



Chapter 2

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Eliza Roark sat in total silence in the presidential leader suite of the Duchess High Hotel, home of prestigious gatherings of the most prestigious within the Double A. As Eliza sat at her desk detailing her daily goings of yesterday, she started to slow down on her writing to reminisce upon choices and events that made her what she is now, and where she is today.It was one of the highest of honors to be placed above the highest members of the Double A. She was also the youngest of the highest and most prestigious members in the organization. Even though agnosticism was recognized as the newest and most respected religion in the world today, it was not so long ago when it was feared to be agnostic, to be scorned sometimes, and to have your thinking of agnosticism idealized with sorrow and faithlessness.

As Eliza prepared herself for the prestigious event gathering in the main dining ballroom below, she had flashbacks of her past. Before she became the leader and, all in all, the head of the Double A, she was unsure with her life. She was raised in a family torn by the falsified view of obligations. Her parents were divorced and they were too different for each other. Things were not exactly the way they should have been when she was young and she never was really raised right. Even her father admitted that to her and it was during a time when it was way too late to do anything about it. The same went with her mother. Because of the parent’s attitudes towards their daughter, they had an impact of negativity on her fragile mind at a young age. Now Eliza is older and all that time she justified her reasons to make it so. Justification has now come in the form that her past, no matter how difficult and hateful it was, has brought her to a position where respect is the main key. Because of this mindset, she was now the most respected person in the Double A, and probably in the world.

As for her past, nobody seemed to know anything. This is what she wanted. People knew basics like who her parents were, where she went to school, her education; either it be high school, college, or universities. Even past work histories were fine with her. However, the soul of her past was kept as an unknown secret only she would know about. Whenever she was interviewed, she tried to keep it on a minimal basis whenever they asked about her past. She also kept it extremely vague and extremely simple when it came to her answers. Simple answers are her friends during those times but they’re answers she herself did not like either. Explaining and justifying an answer to show what she knows, how she knows it, what to do, where to go, when it came, why it is so is the way she was and the way everyone should be. She felt more right with idealism behind her explanations.

Eliza was getting impatient since the party downstairs was going on but she could not go down till later on. To add to her annoyance, she could not mingle until after giving her speech. After that time, all of the delicious, beautiful appetizers before the speech and grand meal would be gone.
She had seen firsthand what they would be serving: elegant, miniature versions of comfort foods such as cheeseburgers, apple pies, and chocolate-dipped strawberries. She really wanted to taste the chocolate-dipped strawberries because she loved both chocolate and strawberries. To her, they were both aphrodisiacs. In that sudden moment of tasting a strawberry or chocolate, especially white chocolate, she was in love. This was an emotion which was very hard for her to deal with since she could not explain it in anyway possible. As a result she really did not believe in love whenever it came her way.

All of a sudden, the silence was broken by a fast, light knock on the door.

“Who is it?” Eliza asked.

“This is just the hotel attendant, Miss Roark. I am here to inform you that in thirty minutes everyone will gather to their seats to hear your speech.”

Eliza bowed her head down and shook it sideways and gave a little half-smile.

“Thank you. I’ll be down in thirty minutes. You may go now.”

There was no answer but Eliza heard footsteps walking away to the main elevator in the back of the entryway. The presidential leader suite was very beautiful and it took one floor of the hotel. It consisted of over twenty rooms including two dining rooms, two kitchens, and numerous bathrooms. The dining rooms were the size of most grand dining rooms seen in restaurants. The kitchens were the size of commercial kitchens with the elegance and splendor of either the Plaza or Hilton. The bathrooms were fully equipped and a trip from the shower to the towel rack could be a workout on its own. It has been reported that people got lost in this suite.

Eliza sat down quickly at the table in the entranceway meeting room. It was called this since the suite itself was so big that the entrance into the suite had a meeting room with a map and a dot on it that says “You are here”. Multiple maps were added throughout the suite so others would not get lost in there. Eliza had used the suite before and she was able enough to figure out how to get around. The place was setup in a courtyard house style such as the Spaniards. All the bedrooms were on the outer side and everything else was inside. The concept was quite easy but people do not like easy. They like complication. As she looked over her speech she considered its ramifications. To her, it was nothing more than a party. But to everyone else, it was the most prestigious event that the Double A held every year since starting. Kind of humorous to be stating that since the Double A was formed only two years ago.

The numbers were better than last year. The number of people joining the view of agnosticism as a religion increased to the point that 90% of the world’s population was agnostic. This was very excellent news for the Double A. To them this meant that agnosticism had been recognized and accepted by more people than any religion in history, more than Christianity, Judaism, and Islam combined. For the Double A, this was pretty much victory. To Eliza, this was a justifying of means.

Fifteen minutes had passed and Eliza did hardly minimal to none on advancing her speech but thought it was time well spent. She decided to eat a little something to settle her stomach, deciding sushi was the best choice since it was another aphrodisiac to her, too. The more she ate, the more relaxed she felt.
She read the part of her speech where those with faith could be quite influential and at that time she stopped. Her thoughts rushed back to her about her past. She lived a reason why to hate Christianity, including all those with the viewpoint of believing in something that could not be proven on a physical standard.
A year before she came along to form the Double A she was struggling with her existence and her relationships. One man in her past made the biggest impact, and in her mind, he made both the most negative and positive impact in her life at the same time. Positive for he actually showed her how to live and negative for she did not follow it. In that respect, he became a demon to her. She hated him with all her heart and wanted him to die in her mind.

That was many years ago and she remembered it quite well. But now she wanted to see that man who made an impact on her so long ago and shove her powerful position in his face. She was no longer the repressed little girl he had met. Maybe he was the initial drive to prove that her agnosticism is a view worth having. A view which was true in the beginning but either misunderstood or ridiculed beyond reason. Now that agnosticism is the major religion in the world – more popular, more understood than Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Wicca, Buddhism, Satanism, and any other religion – she had no reason to be silent about her views on religion. She never believed in God and she never believed in anything that had no proof.

She never saw that man again. He was there, always around, and she could feel him close by...lingering in her mind. He just disappeared from the physical plane and in that reality his absence made her strive to try to be better than him in every possible way. Her initial goal for the Double A was to prove what people believe, but those who believe cannot even prove their belief with tangibility. Even the man she met long ago who impacted her so much could not prove his beliefs, too. Because of that one little thing, she didn’t feel fine as she remembered the words given to her by that man about feeling fine.

“Everything will be fine if you want it to be,” she whispered to herself.

That phrase stuck with her like the waxing and waning of the moon, guaranteed to be there on time every week. With that phrase, she ushered forth new ideals and made big steps in the Double A.
She remembered how she was able to meet the leaders of the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite and the Formalized Educated Agnostic Religion when Gwendolyn Anderson wrote up a formalized report that jeopardized both groups almost to the point of defeat. She wrote a fan letter to both groups and became a very avid agnostic because of them. She used to be a casual agnostic but now was serious about her views thanks to them. She finally got her chance to talk to both leaders and her fronts were very good on what needed to be done. She thought of the idea to combine the two groups into one to save each other.
It was actually here at the Duchess High Hotel – which was made by the Formalized Educated Agnostic Religion before they joined as one with the Harvard Agnostic Thinking Elite – both major organizations announced their merger. Eliza was invited to attend and was very proud to see such an organized coming of age for two organizations she had a lot of respect for. Then it was the biggest surprise right then and there when she was honored and recognized as the single person to bring them together. It was a bigger surprise being named the leader of the new organization. It was at that time this new organization was recognized as the Agnostic Alliance.

Eliza was a ruthless leader when it came to the Double A and she had done some of the most unbelievable and most powerful accomplishments and tasks that the Double A had ever been accounted for. She was the one who brought a front up in a formalized research of the authenticity of the word of Catholicism and the Vatican. She attacked the small country with an iron fist and smote them with every hypocritical view they had. From banning gospels in the Bible, their views on killing, and how they did anything that was considered terrible in human right terms in the name of God, she held nothing back.
Whenever the Vatican tried to regroup, she would scream that they were thinking lies to cover their asses. The Vatican lost that battle going face to face with Eliza Roark that night. Almost all of their followers turned on them. Even those who worked, slaved, and lived in the Vatican gave up their views to search the truth. Now, believing in agnosticism was the right way thanks to Eliza Roark and her iron fist.

Without any support, the Vatican closed. What would happen next would be the biggest slap to Catholicism when the Double A purchased the Vatican. The Vatican, which once was the center of the Catholic Church and Catholicism in general, was now the home base of agnosticism in Europe. The former members still true to the Vatican were furious but could not do anything about it.

Later on, Eliza used her position and used it to turn those who had religion against their religion. In Islam, Mecca was an extremely important city and because of the Double A it was almost demolished by the fanatical destruction of terrorism. Muslims are quite terrifying in the name of Allah, but they are far worse when they are manipulated into thinking Allah has no substance. In front of the Muslim nation, Eliza Roark questioned why kill for something when all it brought was death and war. It was a suicidal question to ask but she used lines from the Koran to help her. She recognized that their leader, Muhammad, was a peaceful, wonderful man and being warlike and barbaric was not being like him. Then she brought the possibility that Muhammad probably made Islam up and based it off of Christianity since there were many similarities between both religions. Next, she presented all the destructive things that nations, races, countries, continents have done in the name of Christianity. The Crusades, the killing of billions in history including those without faith, those of different faiths, even women were brought up. The final question she asked: did the Muslim nation really want to be like Christians?

The speech was very simple, yet how Eliza spoke made her position very substantial. The next day, Islam went from the fastest growing religion in the world to the fastest declining. Agnosticism sky-rocketed to extremes that same week and many former Muslims made pilgrimages to the United States so they can finally shake hands with Eliza Roark letting her know that she was right and the most influential person they had ever met.

Eliza’s status in the world was huge and well respected. People didn’t believe she could get any more powerful until that one day she had an interview with the most influential person among those who still held on to their faith. The meeting with Gwendolyn Anderson was quite a feat since it was two worlds colliding.
In the beginning, it seemed that the both of them would get along. They probably would have made a compromise of some kind, but it was a tainted dream. All it took was a couple of well-placed tactical lines here and there which caused Gwendolyn to lose her composure. Eliza had the upper hand making the meeting go the way she wanted it to. Even the guards secured Gwendolyn so Eliza could take luxury in a taste of carnal pleasures, the ultimate sign of dominance. In Eliza’s mind, the kiss hurt Gwendolyn’s pride and Eliza knew it. The world was watching during that time and those watching questioned if Gwendolyn could counter her own views against Eliza. It was a victory nevertheless on Eliza’s behalf.

Now all Eliza wanted to do was to find the man who made an impact on her those many years ago so she could show him that she was better. She had secured her place in history and she knew it. She was immortalized as a leader of a religion respected by over ninety percent of the world’s population. The mere ten percent was nothing to her but she had plans on diminishing the remaining percentage, as well. Also, she wanted to do something out of a good joke and predicament for those in the Double A who previously had faith. She wanted not just to win, but to control, dominate, and completely demolish a way of life to fit her personal views. She wanted that man here just so she could show him that she was better than him. Because of that man, Eliza was more driven than ever. However, she knew that her personal battles with demons would have to wait. The clock showed ten minutes left till she had to show herself downstairs. Eliza printed the speech and placed it delicately in the manila folder titled “speech”. Her next step would be something she knew would put her on the top tier of those who have succeeded and she knew it. This was the biggest feat she could ever accomplish. The biggest step she could ever take. She was ready to jump, and jumping was something she wasn’t afraid to do when it came to personal gain. She took a deep breath and Eliza exited the suite and took the elevator down to the grand dining ballroom. It was time for the world to experience her presence. This was true awe at its fullest and she reveled in it.



Well that is it for now everyone! I hope you enjoy this week and I hope to hear from all you lovely people. Don't forget to comment all the girls here who are working hard to provide beautiful pictures sets for your viewing pleasure. Until next time, come what may and may your day, your week, your year, your life be splendid. Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present.

Oh yeah! From what I am hearing! I am getting what is pictured below for my birthday! biggrin

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I so love reading romantic vamp novels of the girl next door and sparkly shiny vampires in the sun! Seriously though, it's actually a very excellent series if you are open to it! biggrin

Exes and Ohs!

MARCH 17, 2010 @ 03:48 PM | 5 COMMENTS


Good news everyone! I am the first person hired on to work on the new site by Console Alliance at consolealliance.net and I am so stoked. I used to work for Intense Christian Entertainment or better known as ICE - which was kinda of an oxymoron for me since I'm a New Kingdom Pluralist and that was a Christian-orientated video game site and I am not classified as the latter. By the way, if you don't know what a Pluralist is, then I'll explain. A Pluralist believes that all faiths are true and they are just all a part of a the one true faith but through history and time and the arrogance of mankind, has been split up. New Kingdom is placed in front because I am able to put a Pluralistic relative of all faiths to the Abrahamic Faiths. I am also Agnostic when it comes to this for I believe I cannot prove or disprove what I believe but I still believe without any condemning issues or whatnot which translates that if you don't believe in what I believe, I am fine with it and will still be happy for you. Most "Christians" hate me for that view. tongue

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Anyways, Console Alliance is actually divided up into three different sites. The first is the official site where it all started which is the DOT COM site. Then there was an extension of the site made for girls thus Console Alliance Girls. Finally there is the site I work on which is - or going to be - loaded with stuff from ten writers in which I am the FIRST one hired. The site I work on is the DOT NET site and I am looking forward to doing what I will be doing there since I do love video games. Everything good is just happening to me and I want it so and make it so.

Also, I forgot to state that before I went to MegaCon 2010, my former boss Patrick (I say "former" since he is the co-creator of ICE) threw a party before the con. I actually pitched in and said I would love to cook for everyone. You SGs didnt' know that did ya! I know how to cook and went to chef training as a way to expand my horizons. Anyways, I did a three course meal but could work with what Patrick and his wife had since I was cooking at their place. It was a lot of fun though since I had so much help as in the people who would be eating wanted to help cook and that was awesome. Anyways, the three course meal is as follows.

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Cream Chicken and Mushroom Soup with Toasted Herb Flatbread

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Beef Wellington Bacon Wrap with Baked Potato-Styled Rice

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Cinnamon Swirl Cranberry Bread with Fruit and Cinnamon Rice Pudding

I had a blast cooking for everyone and everyone loved the food. You know, the cooking thing is one skill I have not many people know I have. My dad found out when I was younger and was shocked and was surprised along with everyone else at the Christmas Party. I cooked Three Cheese Vegetable Chicken Crepes back then and it was the first dish gone. Good thing I made sure to eat some before going to the party or I wouldn't have enjoyed my masterpiece.

Well that is it for now and this was a quick entry and out of the blue but I am in such a happy and good mood as of late. Today was just exquisite for Irish Drinking Day and I wish I went out with friends to share a pint but I got responsibilites of a full-time career looking me in the eye tomorrow. Also, now that I am working for a more prominant website, I may be busier but I still know how to manage work and fun to the point I have all the time in the world. Until next time we meet again, may all of you have a wonderfully splended week.

Faith. Love. Hope. Will.
MARCH 16, 2010 @ 05:59 PM | NO COMMENTS


Since there is no "events" category that I see, I will put this underneath "adventure" because everyday is an adventure, it is up to you to make it worthwhile or boring. For me, I make it worthwhile no matter what. Anyways, International Call Code for the Letter "A" here and I hope you all are having a wonderful life. Many things happened and I am more than thankful they are happening. First off, my birthday is just around the corner which is March 26th but I don't really put much emphasis on my birthday. I put more emphasis on other people's birthdays. Take note that March 19th is an important day. To whom it considers, you know who I'm talking about you. biggrin

I got myself a brand new camera and I love it. It's a professional camera which is a Nikon D3000. I got two lens with it too in which one is stock that goes from 18-55mm f/3.5-5.6G and the other being a zoom lens that goes from 55-200mm f/4.5-6G. I'll just keep the camera lingo at a minimum and say it zooms close and takes pictures fast. Like I said, I love it and it is good I got it right before the upcoming event came listed below.



This is the fifth MegaCon I have attended and this is the first three-day weekend ticket I got in which I am a fan coming for fun instead of work. My first MegaCon experience was back in 2001. I worked the floor both 2004 and 2005. I then went as a fan for Saturday last year (2009). This year however is my first three-day event attendance as a fan...though I did watch a booth or two to hustle a meal from some friends I know there. Anyways if you don't know about MegaCon, it is a convention held at the Orange County Convention Center in beautiful Orlando, FL from Friday to Sunday. It caters to comic books, sci-fi genres, video games, animation (both traditional and Japanese), actors and actresses, specialty crafts, costuming (known as cosplaying), and more specific shows and panels. The only bigger conventions than MegaCon are the San Diego Comic-Con and *Dragoncon.

There was so much that happened but I best describe it in a list of sentences since I have over 500 pictures for your viewing pleasure of the event. So go to my pictures tab and check it out! Now for the list which is comprised of all three days.

1. People in costumes.
2. People sellling cool stuff at booths.
3. Amanda Stevens and Test Subject (X) of the Superhuman Experiment.
4. Adventure Chefs premier panel.
5. Jeanne and Cory of Practical Futilities.
6. Expensive lunch of pizza and Mountain Dew.
7. Questionaire with Billy Dee Williams.
8. Jerry "The King" Lawler, So Cal Val, and Stacy "The Kat" Carter.
9. Neon Genesis Evangelion Panel.
10. Hamlet vs. MacBeth Play performed by Willie's Wenches.
11. More costumes and booths.
12. My sister Jasmine and Carissa and my old friend Brian hang out.
13. I lose sisters and Brian and just go on.
14. Manime panel. The manliest animes around with blood, gore, sex, and killing! RAWR!
15. Expensive lunch consisting of Cuban Food.
16. Meet up with stepsisters Irish and PB.
17. Lose Irish and PB, go on own.
18. Ghostbuster's Safety Course.
19. Hamlet Electric Boogaloo Play done by Willie's Wenches.
20. Cyberia Rave Party.
21. More costumes and booths and stuff.
22. Ninja Olympics.
23. Robot Wars.
24. Bought emulator that plays all classic arcade games.
25. Bought Taiko Drum Masters for the PS2. Japanese geekiness galore!
26. Questionaire with Lea Thompson.
27. Indie Comic Panel.
28. Yaya Han, famous cosplay model, and bought picture of her as Ada Wong.
29. Midnight Summer's Dream on Elm Street Play done by Willie's Wenches.
30. Go Home!

All in all, a great weekend and I had a lot of fun. To top it off, I get to talk to people on Console Alliance and here on SG, especially my #1 who I have so much respect for. I know she along with other SGs here would have so *HEART* if they went. Anyways, I got more to talk about later. I will actually put up a blog on the sociological view of true love since my best friend Krystal and I were talking about it and now I want to write about it. So may your life be so blessed as long as you want it so and make it so.

Faith. Love. Hope. Will.
MARCH 2, 2010 @ 06:08 PM | 6 COMMENTS


I am two days late posting this post up and should have been done last Sunday but that whole PSN Network Failure got me off my daily regime. So to make up for missing out on the designated day I was going to post my Top Three SGs, I am going to make this now a Top Six SGs post. That's right beautiful ladies and handsome gentlemen! The Beginning of the Year (Get it?) will post his six favorite and uber wonderful SGs he sees on both an analytical, philosophical, and mostly important a sociological standpoint. So are you ready for this? I hope you are? I am so giddy with excitement now.

Suicide Girl #6

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
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Bow is actually one of the very first Suicide Girls to actually request to be SG friends with me and wondering how she is by her profile, I am quite entertained. Where we have in common on a very general basis is anime and video games. What stands out the most for me is her love for the Resident Evil Series which I honestly believe is one of the best survival horror series to ever be made despite that the latest installment wasn't that scary at all.

Now Bow also comes off as down-to-earth and thus why she is one of the major factors why I look forward to reading up on anything new that comes her way. She also isn't a sugar queen which means that she talks about her life as is compared to other people who talk about good things like they deserve it and bad things like it was everyone else's fault for the negativity. Bow is honest about where life is taking her and I truly respect that. On a physical level, I will say I love the blue hair and the demeanor of quirky she seems to give off. That makes me giggle in a good way.

Now on a more personal note (this will be done with each SG and emphasized with a music video), I see Bow as the embodiment of the struggle of everyday life. For some reason, she just comes off as someone who you can tell what part of her brain is being dominant (Id, Ego, Superego) and that there is more to her reality than what any of us - including to her - may truly know. So on a personal level, I find Bow to be sociologically very interesting. Also, all that I just wrote is best described in the most popular anime series ever made in anime history.



Suicide Girl #5

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
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Roarke is quite something special because out of all the girls here that I have come across, she is the one who takes a liking as well as a respect to traditional media. She likes BB KIng and old classical movies. You know those right? The ones in black and white? Anyways, her list includes classics like The Phantom of the Opera and Breakfast at Tiffany's (Awesome movies yo!). No The Count of Monte of Cristo though which I'll let slide. You find your own tree right? Also, despite her love for movie and music classics, she spends a lot of time on video games thus note that if you want her GT (Gamertag for you not-so-video-game-savy people). I myself am a huge gamer despite my huge interest in almost everything media based as well as people in general. I guess I know how to utilize all twenty-four hours in a day. Also on a sidenote, she's the only one I can think of who uses her last name as her SG name...or think it's her last name.

Physically, what I like about Roarke is her overall look since it just shows a lot of traditional glamour. Even her tattoos show that old school beauty with tattoos of diamonds and cityscapes. Kinda reminds me of The Great Gatsby and Brave New World at the exact same time. Yet she still shows the style of today with certain piercings as well as the red streaks in her hair. So to me, she is a fusion of beauty from the glamourous days of Casa Blanca to the redefined beauty of today.

Personally for me on a socialogical level, it has been explained in the physical analysis. A fusion of what was beautiful then with what is beautiful now along with characteristics and hobbies I am easy to relate and adapt to. Because of this, there is one movie that is fairly recent that shows a merger of the traditional with what is shown today. Whenever I see this movie, it makes me think of Roarke a bit and it also helps that she likes the first movie version in her films list.



Suicide Girl #4

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
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Naruka is probably the one Suicide Girl here that caters mostly to everything that I am that is quite misunderstood or misinterpreted. This was even enforced even more - and I daresay clarified with the recent messages both Naru and I have been passing back and forth like playing tag or something like that. The first thing I want to state is that I admire Naru's creativity for she loves to draw and she loves to photograph. I used to draw a lot but now I design and I also write so there is a mutual respect for each other's preference in whatever media we desire to pursue. She is also a huge fan of Japan. I think I gave her the link to jlist once and I hope she is enjoying all the direct-to-home purchasing ability of bento boxes and Hello Kitty! products.

On a physical level, Naruka breaks a lot of the pigeonholes in which SG was not specifically established undereneath but is a sideline factor. She has no tattoos and doesn't wear streaks or anything off hilter that is based around the punk, goth, or rock lifestyle though she may live like a very glamourous rockstar kinda like Gwen Stefani. I find this appealing since she still pulls her own on this site despite not sporting now tattoos, rock star glam, or any piercings that may standout within the pigeonhole as well.

Since Naruka is a barrier breaker in the Negative End of Society, I find her physically the most beautiful girl in general on the site. She also has a relevance to something I feel as well which is the feeling of really not belonging around people. For me, I just feel that my unbiased feelings as well as open-minded thinking and personality is actually a limitor to most people since most people specialize and judge. I honestly don't like that but that is the way it is. Naru is one of the few people I have also come across that believes that everyone should try things once which I am all for. With me, I kinda add the aspect of wanting to do something as well as respecting it if it is not something you want to pursue as well as making sure what you do doesn't hurt anyone directly without prior permission.

Also as a result of the messages we have been passing back and forth, she has moved up quite a lot too. She's actually where she used to be and that seems to be a note on where she will always be while I am here on SG. I really don't want to talk about everything we have typed about for you should just type to her yourself. For me however, she's so far the one person I feel I have an understanding with out of all the SGs here. Ha! Ha! Just a little bit! Be my little bitch!



Suicide Girl #3

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
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Anyone who decides to make her SG name based off a very famous resort in Las Vegas has got to be glamour diva yo. And guess what? Mandalay is but she comes off very humble as well too and that is an oxymoron I can really relate to the nth degree. She is a Leo thus she and I would get along quite well on a general basis of horoscopes. Also, she is a GTA and God of War lover which is really awesome as well. Imagine this. A beautiful diva "bossy" girl playing GTA and not just GTA but during the part of the game where the main character is to cap the hooker the head to get his money back. I'm actually giggling while thinking of that scenario. She also loves cartoons that will dull your brain like the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy and Spongebob. She needs to see The Boondocks. That cartoon is so awesome! Also, she may look like diva class but from what I know so far, she has a personality that is far from the smug snobbish prissy girl that seems to be tacked with the look.

Physically, she is the most glamourous of the girls in this list more so than Naruka. It's just how she comes off and it is such a stereo breaker since you don't usually think of supermodel-isque girls playing video games and sketching and whatnot. Just looking pretty and that's about it. This is another girl who breaks the SG pigeonhole since I see no tattoos or major rock star streaks or piercings whatsoever. Yet she, like Naruka, shows off quite well along all the other girls on this website.

On a sociological personal level, I honestly hope I didn't offend this girl with what I said because she is a Leo and Leos are famous for their fiery tempers which is even more fiery than my sign's temper. Aries are more aggressive though and daresay destructive if they decide to be....well not my decan. Anyways, she comes off as someone I can really get along with painting the town red while everyone parts at our presence like the Red Sea. Yet nobody wants to say anything mean or disrespectful to her because of how she comes off. In that sense I'm trying to find the words to describe her without being disrespectful.



Suicide Girl #2

SPOILERS! (Click to view)
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If there is someone on this site I seem to interact more with than anyone else, it would easily be Rydell and that makes her my #2 on this site. She comes off very unorthadox yet grounded which is a very rare combination for most people. Most people who are unorthadox are not stable with that trait and most people who are grounded are usually that way because the level to the mundane. Rydell doesn't fall into that trap whatsoever. Married with dogs, living the simple life with simple pleaures, yet a cover girl for SG? Seems a little out of hither right? Also, she takes the time to talk and chat with everyone here and for some strange turn of fate, she is able to read my blogs hidden in the mass of new blogs in her friend's list. I find that an honor.

Rydell does have two sleeves that fit her quite well and thus play to the criteria of SG on this site yet she still does little things that make her standout. She doesn't have the attitude that puts a placeholder of disrespectful whatsoever. Kinda like a merger of traditional values and customs with the foundation of individuality in her look. This simple beautiful look she has along with the subtle hints of her wildness along with her position in life right now makes me see her as the biggest tease out of all the girls on this site even though she isn't trying to be. I find that quite a feat worth pulling off and earning meaning that she is gorgeous all around to the point that it can be timeless.

For me, I find the conversations - though it can be limited sometimes - very engaging and also her sets are well done. It is her simplicity that makes me like this girl as the #2 because most people these days are afraid of keeping things simple and those who do aren't able to assimilate into anything outside of the common lifestyle whereas Rydell seems to pull it off perfectly. Thus the perfection makes her come off as the perfect tease yet again even though she isn't even trying. It's pretty much a tango when you're around her as I can see it.



Suicide Girl #1

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Personally, I want to know if anyone would have discerned on who my #1 SG would be. Ayastigi is my #1 SG for many reasons but I'll state the most important reasons. First off, I relate on more levels with her than anyone else here on this website. We pretty much, through not in the same order, have the same preferences on media but the big scale factor is she puts more emphasis on music and movies while I put more emphasis on video games and television shows. However, she caters to books more than anything else which is also my #1 choice of media. I once spent $600 worth of books at Barnes & Noble and that was with the membership card. I could have bought plenty of DVDs, music CDs, Blu-rays, video games, or another HD TV but I chose books which are considered "obsolete" in today's society.

Physically, Ayastigi is the most beautiful girl to me. Now in a general sense of a general population, there are will always be someone more beautiful, smarter, stronger, better than you though it may be just one little factor for you may be better than them in other aspects. Ayastigi is the most beautiful girl in my eyes on this site because how she comes off and how she looks. Even her insecurities of fitting in a smaller size don't phase the fact I feel she's the most beautiful girl here on SG.

Now for the personal or sociological part that seems to be the most important factor on why Ayastigi is my #1 SG on this site. Ayastigi on a personality level if my calming effect and polar opposite. She likes people like I do but how she comes off is she is able to assimilate into people quite well while I, even though I know many people and can get along in any group or genre since I don't specialize, cannot assimilate quite as well due to the higher aspectations such as personal responsibility (the rarest quality among people these days). In that sense, I am actually quite envious of that ability she does have thus why I admire her. Another thing is her vices are actually my strong points like she says "fuck" too much, procrastinate, unorganized, and doesn't take certain things seriously. I on the other hand do the opposite and hardly curse (unless writing), organize my life down to the nth year, take ambition to the highest nth, and whatnot. And in a way, it's affecting me since I have a streak of white hairs from stress I didn't even know I had. Pretty much, she's Polly Prince and I'm Reuben Feffer. I really hope I meet a girl just like Ayastigi. I'd give her the ball she deserves because every girl deserves a ball.



Well that is it for now! I hope you all enjoyed this read here. I will do this again in six months to analyze who will be #7 through #12 or even more than that if I get around to it. Hey, the Top Six SGs might change from then. So until next time everyone, may you all have a good night.

Faith. Love. Hope. Will.

MARCH 2, 2010 @ 06:07 PM | NO COMMENTS


Since I'm not allowed to delete blogs. Check out this video of the video game I am right now in love with! biggrin

FEBRUARY 27, 2010 @ 04:07 PM | NO COMMENTS


Hey everyone! Alpha - Lima - Papa - Hotel - Alpha here! Tomorrow is going to be an awesome day because 1.) I am off from both my job and career and 2.) I am finally done on the analyzation and research on the testimonials on the SGs as in who will be the Top Three as well as who will recieve testimonials (Top Three Included). I also had to find music videos to represent the Top Three so we will just see how it turns out when everything is complete shall we.

Well until then, here is the final fun entry in before the big Top Three are revealed and testimonies are put up. These vides are now based off of Splinter Cell Double Agent. Hope you all enjoy it!























Hope you all enjoy tomorrow's blog on who will be in the Top Three and if your an SG and I've known of you for awhile now, check your testimonies. They'll be some real good ones too I guarantee you that!
FEBRUARY 22, 2010 @ 05:00 PM | 5 COMMENTS


Hey everyone! AL - *BREAK* - PHA here and it was a wonderful weekend for me. I am still working on the analyzation of who will be in the Top Three SGs list as well as awesome testimonies. I kinda know it will be but I will let you people know that my #1 has always been for awhile now. Once again, don't take into account what it was since I could have POSSIBLY never changed my original top SGs around.

Well today, I am posting up some awesome videos which is Doctor Horrible's Sing-Along Blog. I so love this short series and will be buying the Blu-Ray which comes out later on this year for my Joss Whedon collection since I am a Joss Whedonite! I know girlysound will like it since she loves Firefly. I know that because she was the only one to comment when I put that blog up about that show awhile ago. So anyways, here are the videos for the sing-along blog! I personally like Captain Hammer since he is so dumb its funny. A major opposite role for Nathan Fillion who played Captain Malcolm Reynolds in Firefly.













Also as a bonus, here is the video of when Dr. Horrible's Sing-A-Long Blog interupted the Emmys!



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