Over the years I have learned not to eat money, you must spend it. Do not eat styrofoam, it is hard to swallow and digest. Grass isn't horrible but still not half as good as candy. Always swallow your gum, you don't want to be the asshole that puts gum where it doesn't belong. Don't drink random drinks, they usually taste bad and are left alone by others for a reason. Don't eat cigars, those are worse than cigarettes and both are meant for smoking. Try not to open glass bottles by breaking them open, after drinking the contents you will know that it is bad to eat glass. "God made dirt and dirt don't hurt" is not true...dirt can hurt, a lot. Also not edible. Avoid eating paper, it leaves a lump in your throat after a while. Never, and I mean never, eat plastic wrap. That's just the wrong thing to do. If food is served on it or in it, do not consume. Play-Doh is ok to eat, it's just a bit salty. Cologne and bug spray, however, are not ok to eat. Numbs the tongue a bit. I still waiver a bit on boogers. Only consume blood if it is your own. Uncooked steak is really not that bad. It's really not that good either. Don't eat the food from the movie "Hook". You will starve to death because supposedly it is not real even though it looked delicious.
I don't blog enough here. I'm working on putting another one up but I have to get all of the details from the past weekend back since the Jagermonster stole my memories. 4 day weekend coming up! That means a trip to Czech but nothing too crazy. Cigarettes are not good to eat...even the ones soaked with Jagermeister.
We're done with Iraq! Outstanding! We've been back in Germany for about a month now and I've already taken the time to make my way to Amsterdam for a long weekend. Always a time, and I mean a time. I love that city. Europe is a great place to travel around and live it up. I live my life like a movie character. I'm pretty sure my most featured role is that of the Jagermonster. A couple of weeks ago my friend Beck and I were at a club here in Germany called The Airport. Great place. We were mistaken for go-go dancers by the bouncers when we jumped up on the stage over the main dance floor and started busting some moves. I have no clue how to dance by the way. I think I just liquified my joints and let it flow. So we took our shirts off on stage and tossed them into the crowd. That fired everyone up and the party really got going. After about an hour of that we got down and went for a few more drinks and a smoke. We decided to go back for another round of dancing, but this time the bouncers were on to us. They told us that we must put on clothes or leave. We said ok, and put our shirts on. No more than a minute later, my shirt is off and I am dancing around a pole with a small crowd around me. Beck joins me and it turns into a photoshoot with random people wanting to take pics with us. Great, I'm all for it. The bouncers were all for escorting the two of us celebrities outside. That's ok, we moved the party to an underground bunker punk rock club called The Labyrinth. Finished out the morning there. Good times, good times.
Work, work, work...and by work I mean constant missions and patrols. It cooled down to 123 degrees today with a light breeze that keeps you just bearably cool from all of the sweat. Butters, Bex, and I have fully undertaken our joint effort at the composition of a graphic novel that is somewhat along the lines of a "zombie apocalypse" type story. So far it is superbly exciting and we like where things are going. Sometimes I don't know where we find the time for it with all of the stupid shit going on here. It's almost 3am here in Iraq and I have to be ready for another patrol in four hours so I'm off to smoke a death stick and catch a couple hours of rack time. Goodnight.
I just realized that it's Tuesday. That doesn't surprise me, I don't keep track of what day of the week it is very well over here. I've got a bit of downtime today, thank the gods. I will get some much needed rest after all of these 18 to 20 hour days in the 130 degree heat. I ran 4 miles early this morning before the sun had time to start incinerating everything. Today will be a dvd day for me. Unfortunately, they just don't make horror flicks like they used to. Or I may just be a little too used to the macabre. Either way, I can't complain very much since I'm not having to do massive amounts of activity. I'm hoping to get a package that my friend Anne sent me today. It will bring a carton of Camel Wides that I will thoroughly enjoy. Another plus, I don't have much longer left in Iraq. Just under four months and I'll be back in Germany. I can't wait for that. I've already got plans to travel to Amsterdam, Berlin, and Prague during leave in December and January. So I look forward to cooler temperatures, slower days, and crazy nights in Europe again.
