"There is no exquisite beauty… without some strangeness in the proportion."
— Edgar Allan Poe

Alright SG, Cowboy Advice is back.

Cowboy Advice #98 - Some mistakes we make can become memories we cherish forever.

Maybe it's the booze talking but Disintegration by The Cure is the greatest!

“Swallow all your tears my love
put on your new face
you can never win or lose
if you don't run the race”

Love My Way – Psychedelic Furs

I am reluctant to quote the words of others on what is my blog, my thoughts and my words but I have been through the fires of hell and nothing comes to mind at present and I have let go and put my faith in iPod Genius. So far it has not let me down.

I saw two shooting stars last night
I wished on them but they were only satellites
Is it wrong to wish on space hardware
I wish, I wish, I wish you'd care

A New England - Billy Bragg

Shadowplay

It comes in waves. It builds to the point when the shadow demands a dance. I hear him coming but I make him wait. I never ignore him, but I make him wait until he is full and ready. Then I give him what he wants and what I need. That is when I turn down the lights and turn up the music so he can dance. I pull that ripcord and watch him go. He is magnificent and I join him and we dance until we are both exhausted.

There has been another report of grievous violence in the news today and a desperate cry of “whatever shall we do” and “think of the children”. Gentle reader, we are dealing with the symptom and not the cause. There are three elements at the core of this. The symptoms are drugs and alcohol. The cause is a general dissatisfaction with the modern world.

Drugs and alcohol are an accelerant. Quite simply, they fuel your mood. If you are happy, then drugs and alcohol accelerate this emotion into euphoria. For most of us, that is why we imbibe. Subsequently, the reverse is true.

I have been a roaring alcoholic and rampant drug user in my past. I remember nothing of 1997. But even at my greatest depths I have always maintained a sense of style and have never been in a fight in my life, although I may have talked my way out of more than one confrontation. I have also lost the love of my life due to my inability to curb my excess but I digress.

For the sake of this missive, I shall define a general dissatisfaction with the modern world as suffering. The “first noble truth” of Buddhism is “life is suffering”. The first thesis of Epicurus is “pleasure (or the alleviation of suffering) is the natural good and goal of life”. Epicurus is my favourite philosopher. For him good food, good wine and good friends equates to happiness. I could agree with this more, perhaps with the addition of good music, the greatest art form of all.

One of the causes of this suffering is the expectation of too much from the modern world. We want everything and we want it now. The world hasn’t delivered and we are pissed off. The fast food, cheap booze and bad drugs have left us dissatisfied. Add to this toxic cocktail the kind of music that passes for cheap entertainment and it’s no wonder there is blood on the streets. It is when drugs and alcohol are consumed on top of suffering that all hell breaks loose.

There is no quick fix and my greatest fear is the powers at be will legislate to the lowest common denominator and ban everything. The prohibition mentality is futile and punishes the majority that are not the problem and have us all living in fear. So what to do with the reprobates that inflict their suffering on others? I don’t know, teach them how to cook. Make the teachings of Epicurus compulsory at school. Put advisory warnings on every purchase item that “happiness is not guaranteed”. How do you teach someone to enjoy a sunset or the simple pleasure of holding hands or that it is okay to weep when you feel sad.

There is a final factor to violence. Some people are just plain bad. Learn to recognise the signs and do not cross their path.


Cowboy advice #88 - No man ever got shot doing the dishes.

It was early Friday night and I was at home eating chicken Kiev, drinking chardonnay and watching The Simpsons when the phone rang. “I’m wearing a pink gingham milkmaid’s outfit”. I almost choked. In less than an hour I was at the Kent St Café. The moment I saw her I was breathless. When she bent over and showed me her red gingham underwear with cherries on top, I had to sit down. She ushered me into the performance space and told me where to sit and to mind the place next to me for her. She came in when the play started and sat on my jacket and we both smoked during the performance, simply because we could. At one stage, she leaned behind me and before I’d finished wondering what she was doing, she pulled out a large bottle of tonic. “I hope there’s gin in that” said I. There was.

The weekend passed in a blur of parties, racing cars, barbeques, nightclubs and country bands until it was Sunday evening and I saw her once again at the Gypsy Bar. Something was going on and I felt it when she left. I went to Ginger for my usual Sunday night staff meal and cigarette with the owner. I left there telling myself to just go home, but I knew she'd be at the Kent St Café working the door for her boy’s play. I got home, took two steps and turned around and went back out the door. This was something I just had to do. I walked up the stairs of the café and there she was, sitting alone in virtual darkness outside the door. She saw me and threw herself into my arms, gave me a kiss and held me so tight I thought I was going to faint. She then looked into my eyes and said, "Every time I heard a pair of boots walk up those stairs I thought it would be you and now you’re here". We sat through the play, both in plaits and laughed like the giggling idiots we were. As I left, she whispered in my ear "You know what you've done".

I must have sat on the couch at home for about three hours reducing that imprecise statement down to two possibilities. Then I chose the wrong one. I couldn't sleep and as I watched the Monday dawn and decided not to go to work, I sort advice from my various Oracles. Their wisdom made me laugh and cry and the same time. I had wanted something so badly that I came to choose the less likely of the two possibilities. I must have changed outfits at least three times before deciding how I should look when I went to the Gypsy Bar to have what I really knew confirmed. Later that afternoon I reconciled myself with my folly and took a bittersweet pleasure in just being in her presence. At one point she came unto me and hugged me and gently kissed me on the neck. There was a moment when the sun broke through the clouds and shone only on her. In the background, Tom Waits was singing "How's it gunna end".