I am stuffy and itchy and tired and generally miserable. Allergies? Cold? Either way, I want a vacation.
So, after singing at the school talent show thing a few weeks ago, I was told numerous times by various people that I have a great voice. Some of these people are musicians, even, so I was kind of overwhelmed. Many people asked if I sing anywhere else so they could come hear me. Me? Seriously?
I have always loved to sing, although I was never sure I was good at it. I mean, everyone thinks they can sing, but very few people are any good. So, I just assumed I was average. When I was a young'n, I received for my tenth birthday a Teddy Ruxpin doll. He was all dressed up in a tux and came with several cassettes, including Teddy Ruxpin Sings Love Songs ("When I Fall in Love", "Dream a Little Dream of Me", "Someone to Watch over Me", etc).
I LOVED THAT FREAKIN' BEAR. I loved that cassette, in particular, and would sing along with it pretty much all the time. Later my dad introduced me to Nat "King" Cole and I kind of fell in love with jazz standards and similar music. I mean, I even have "Fly Me to the Moon" tattooed on my shoulder.
Fast forward twenty years. I posted an ad to Craigslist offering myself up as a vocalist looking for a band, and now I'll be singing jazz with a group at a local restaurant/bar/lounge place on Monday nights. I sang with the saxophonist that responded to my ad this afternoon, and he said I have a great voice. His only real critique was that I need experience, but he immediately followed that with, "...but so does everyone in the beginning."
Woah.
Tomorrow night I'll go listen to the group, and I'll probably start singing next week. (He actually offered to let me sing with them tomorrow, but I figure it's best to be patient.) I am still kind of surprised, but I am looking forward to doing something I've always loved to do. New hobbies are fun!
I have always loved to sing, although I was never sure I was good at it. I mean, everyone thinks they can sing, but very few people are any good. So, I just assumed I was average. When I was a young'n, I received for my tenth birthday a Teddy Ruxpin doll. He was all dressed up in a tux and came with several cassettes, including Teddy Ruxpin Sings Love Songs ("When I Fall in Love", "Dream a Little Dream of Me", "Someone to Watch over Me", etc).
I LOVED THAT FREAKIN' BEAR. I loved that cassette, in particular, and would sing along with it pretty much all the time. Later my dad introduced me to Nat "King" Cole and I kind of fell in love with jazz standards and similar music. I mean, I even have "Fly Me to the Moon" tattooed on my shoulder.
Fast forward twenty years. I posted an ad to Craigslist offering myself up as a vocalist looking for a band, and now I'll be singing jazz with a group at a local restaurant/bar/lounge place on Monday nights. I sang with the saxophonist that responded to my ad this afternoon, and he said I have a great voice. His only real critique was that I need experience, but he immediately followed that with, "...but so does everyone in the beginning."
Woah.
Tomorrow night I'll go listen to the group, and I'll probably start singing next week. (He actually offered to let me sing with them tomorrow, but I figure it's best to be patient.) I am still kind of surprised, but I am looking forward to doing something I've always loved to do. New hobbies are fun!
All's I'm sayin' is that I better get a drink with an umbrella in it and some sand in my ass crack this summer.
I have earned it.
I have earned it.
Look, you guys!
That's totally me! Not embarrassing myself! Who knew?
EDITED: And also the haircut I mentioned a few posts ago.
That's totally me! Not embarrassing myself! Who knew?
EDITED: And also the haircut I mentioned a few posts ago.
I so desperately hope that somebody got video of us playing "Still Alive" last night because it was amazing, and I want to show it to everyone.
I also want to be in a band, now, except I can't play any instruments and I don't know how to write music or lyrics. Damn.
I also want to be in a band, now, except I can't play any instruments and I don't know how to write music or lyrics. Damn.
If I won a million dollars, I would like to think I'd pay off all my college loan debt and catch up on bills and maybe buy a house.
However, I think we all know I would blow it on booze and a maid.
I hate folding clothes and washing dishes.
However, I think we all know I would blow it on booze and a maid.
I hate folding clothes and washing dishes.
I got a haircut. 10 inches gone.
Usually I would freak out, but I think it looks pretty rad. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it never is, so I really don't ever expect it to be. Every time I ask for my hair cut a certain way, it always ends up the way it is right now. It's starting to become so normal that I think maybe I like it this way better than the way I think I want it.
That was a very convoluted paragraph, but nobody reads this shit anyway.
Summary: My hair is short. C'mon, hottest summer on record, I am ready for you.
EDITED TO ADD: I suck at taking pictures of myself. I'll try to get somebody else to take one, soon.
Usually I would freak out, but I think it looks pretty rad. It's not exactly what I wanted, but it never is, so I really don't ever expect it to be. Every time I ask for my hair cut a certain way, it always ends up the way it is right now. It's starting to become so normal that I think maybe I like it this way better than the way I think I want it.
That was a very convoluted paragraph, but nobody reads this shit anyway.
Summary: My hair is short. C'mon, hottest summer on record, I am ready for you.
EDITED TO ADD: I suck at taking pictures of myself. I'll try to get somebody else to take one, soon.
Tomorrow I get to put on a pretty gown and go to prom as a chaperon. Fun! In the meantime, I have to figure out camera settings, as I am also kind of the photographer. I'm hoping to get passable pictures, but I know the low lighting will make it difficult.
A week from now I also get to sing in a band in front of the whole school. I'm nervous, but I'm really looking forward to it. We've been practicing for months, and we sound pretty good. It's going to be fantastic.
Fun things are happening and it's nice.
A week from now I also get to sing in a band in front of the whole school. I'm nervous, but I'm really looking forward to it. We've been practicing for months, and we sound pretty good. It's going to be fantastic.
Fun things are happening and it's nice.
Yesterday, I volunteered for the local roller derby league like I usually do. I remember when derby was so fun and exciting; I was more than willing to devote 20+ hours per week to practice and volunteer. I left the league for several reasons, mostly because I wasn't mentally or financially able to handle it after I lost my job. The drama didn't help.
That said, I had mixed feelings about leaving. Derby had lost its fun - it was all work, work, work. I actually had people tell me that if I didn't skate until I puked I wasn't trying hard enough. Trainers would show me a skill twice, and then roll their eyes at me when I wasn't getting it right away. It was getting ridiculous and stressful. I thought that I was just out of the honeymoon phase and that this was normal, which made it difficult to want to go back. Sure, I love skating and playing is fun, but I don't need another stressful thing in my life. I don't need a part time job that costs me money. I wanted a hobby that helped me get and stay in shape, that helped me push myself, and that made me feel kind of badass.
Last night, at our after party, my league hung out in the corner and didn't really socialize. I spent most of the evening with the visiting team (the Ohio Roller Girls) and had a fucking blast. They were amazing. I talked about volunteering with their volunteers, I talked about skating with their skaters, and I shrugged my shoulders at their questions: "What's wrong with your girls? Don't they want to have fun?"
Apparently not.
That's why I left, I suppose, I just didn't realize it at the time. I thought that I wasn't good enough or trying hard enough. I felt like I'd let them down and that they had a right to be kind of upset with me. Now I realize that I left because it just wasn't fun anymore.
I tried to start a recreational league, but there were differences in opinion and one person just kind of took it over and then told me to fuck off. (Since then she got pregnant and hasn't really done anything with it.) I'm considering starting this up, again, myself. Last night, I was reminded how much fun roller derby used to be - because of the friendships and goofiness and supportive environment. (By the end of the evening, I had people telling me to move to Ohio to join them.) I miss that, and I would love to have it again. It's clear that won't happen in the old league, though. We'll see...
That said, I had mixed feelings about leaving. Derby had lost its fun - it was all work, work, work. I actually had people tell me that if I didn't skate until I puked I wasn't trying hard enough. Trainers would show me a skill twice, and then roll their eyes at me when I wasn't getting it right away. It was getting ridiculous and stressful. I thought that I was just out of the honeymoon phase and that this was normal, which made it difficult to want to go back. Sure, I love skating and playing is fun, but I don't need another stressful thing in my life. I don't need a part time job that costs me money. I wanted a hobby that helped me get and stay in shape, that helped me push myself, and that made me feel kind of badass.
Last night, at our after party, my league hung out in the corner and didn't really socialize. I spent most of the evening with the visiting team (the Ohio Roller Girls) and had a fucking blast. They were amazing. I talked about volunteering with their volunteers, I talked about skating with their skaters, and I shrugged my shoulders at their questions: "What's wrong with your girls? Don't they want to have fun?"
Apparently not.
That's why I left, I suppose, I just didn't realize it at the time. I thought that I wasn't good enough or trying hard enough. I felt like I'd let them down and that they had a right to be kind of upset with me. Now I realize that I left because it just wasn't fun anymore.
I tried to start a recreational league, but there were differences in opinion and one person just kind of took it over and then told me to fuck off. (Since then she got pregnant and hasn't really done anything with it.) I'm considering starting this up, again, myself. Last night, I was reminded how much fun roller derby used to be - because of the friendships and goofiness and supportive environment. (By the end of the evening, I had people telling me to move to Ohio to join them.) I miss that, and I would love to have it again. It's clear that won't happen in the old league, though. We'll see...
After a wonderful, relaxing, well-earned spring break, I go back to work tomorrow. Alas! Only a month and a half until the year is over - amazing how quickly it goes.
