Seven of my 18 "Faves" SGs are over the age of 30. Another 4 are at the cusp. Three others are ageless. Of them all, 13 appear to not be active with the site anymore.

I could update my faves, pick girls who are active and a sustaining part of the site but, honestly, it's not like it used to be. That is not to disparage the current lineup of SGs. It's just, my faves represents, to me, the pantheon of SG goddesses; those alt models that offered their bodies and souls up to a alt nude site and made it quite a force. Each is an icon, their sets testaments of alt beauty back when it was being defined socially, commercially. Yet, it doesn't define them (as one even stated in a final blog post) and have moved on to more, to bigger and better.

This is my 10th year of being associated with the site. I miss that Pacific Northwest ambiance of the beginning yet am glad to see it has grown as it has. I had hoped my faves would span the years, a slow shifting of royalty. But my most recent had her first set premiere in 2010, two slots are not used. Perhaps this isn't a lifetime commitment but a phase. Again, not to disparage newer models, contemporary sets, it's just wondering if I, if that first smattering of girls in Portland and abroad, are part of this thing anymore.

A coworker, black and female, posted on a social network site a personal testament that put down black men and white women all while referring to herself as a black queen. In conversations before, she abhors racism and sexism yet, in one deft post, has committed both. I hate stupid fucking people regardless of race, sex, orientation, creed. There you go, I'm prejudice; I hate stupid fucking people. Truly. If you show me any sign of being stupid, I'll limit anything I have to do with you. I can't help it. I wasn't born this way. It's a learned response. I've learned to hate stupid people from stupid people.

I have to post here for she's a friend/follower/annoyance on other outlets of social disgrace.

I have to expand on this. A white woman dating a black man wrote into a black magazine asking why, as she had noticed, black men wanted to date black men and why black women hated black men and white women for this. The response to her query was that black men did this because white women are easy. Have always been easy. Black women were raised in the church and, thus, was of a higher moral value than slutty white women. Black men are intimidated by black women because they are smarter, better educated, more moral so black men look for more "docile" white women. Probably my favorite quote...

Right, because...

And just to show that there's no hard feelings and his response was to educate and help us understand each other better, the responder ends with this...

That means she has to be black, because a white woman cannot elevate herself to any of that.


Maybe I'm just a whorish dog, but I don't notice skin color anymore. People are people. If you're an attractive, which is subjective anyways, female I take a fancy to you. I do not cast dispersions- well, she's black so she's A, B and C so if I want X, Y, and Z I need to find a white woman, for M,N, and Os I need an Asian woman- I do not base a belief of what one is capable of or how he, she, it will be based on skin tone. THAT is the epitome of racism.


(this is the photo included in her decree, a real picture of an interracial couple and a graphic of idealized Egyptian royalty)

I grow tired of these labels. Fine, use skin tone as a adjective- my coworker is black (actually, she's caramel or mocha)- which helps you pick someone out of a crowd physically, not in any other way. You do know that Charlize Theron is, technically, African American... I mean, what does that term mean? They're not referred to as Asian Americans, I am not a European American (English American?). I am a proponent of the quote from Bulworth (from the movie of the same name): "We've gotta keep fucking each other until we're the same color. I am a fan of diversity. But we need to homogenize just a little, a lot more than we've fooled ourselves we have. Holding on to culture is great but we need to stop defining ourselves by, for the most part, pageantry and customs we have never had ourselves. I am me, right now. You are you, right now. No, there is not a universal standard, equality still exists. But as long as WE keep defining that difference we will never convince the powers that be to change. We've got to change ourselves, cast away misconceptions we have about ourselves.

And have some goddamn humility.

In closing, my coworker is a cunt. Don't be a cunt.

I've never really used tags before on the site. Only in the past six months or so have I used them to try and name the "other" girl in multi "review" sets (seriously, why is only the model posting shown in the set, why not BOTH?). The past couple of days, however, I've been applying some of my own to review sets I'm perusing. But for some reason, when it's added it's showing the tag coming from another member who has let his membership lapse.

Really, SG? I tag and you credit someone else? I don't care about credit but why the hell is this broken?

I know it's been a long while and I'd hate to return to rant... BUT...

You do know this is a nude website? You do know the idea is for you to style, yes, pose, yes, AND take your clothes off? I do not understand being clothed for 3/4 of a set. And usually it's not a gradual, strip tease style. It's clothed- BAM- nude. Then there's usually the shy hand across bust, hand between legs. And why does this, a nude website, have so many portrait shots? Yes, I'm nude, but here's a picture of my face. Twenty times.

I know such modeling can be daunting. But why do a set for the site if you aren't going to live up to the tenets? SG once had an all nude clause; do a set, you don't have to show everything but you did have to be nude. I saw a recent hopeful that didn't even do that. I'm not asking for graphic exploration. I just would like sets to conform to what the site was before, was based on at least.

Yet while the sets have changed into more of a PG-13 mindset, the site itself hasn't changed in YEARS. How about an update? Better layout? Get rid of the annoying flash, even the html, and design a better site. Better browsing. Seriously, what has it been, four years? This year will be the tenth I've been with the site. For the past five I've wondered why.

Wow me, SG.

Apple has finally closed down MobileMe. With it, my website has gone away. I must now decide if I'm going to continue with it, where I will continue and when. Since there were so few viewers (read: none) I haven't decided if I want to bother with it. It will be a challenge since iWeb, which I used to create it isn't compatible with any hosting site or tools. I'd have to start from scratch, which I usually enjoy but, honestly, I can't find a reason to continue it. Potential employment is what I tell myself but, again, the one now closed wasn't helping me with that. What to do, what to do...

Also, my publishing contract is about to expire. With the rights handed back over to me I can attempt a second printing at another publisher, self publish to, say, Apple's iBookstore, or just sell a digital copy of it. I could renew my contract and let it ride but being that it was not selling for the past couple years I don't see my publisher keeping the rights being any more advantageous.

So here I am, with nothing out there and a droll melancholy that just abuses the idea of sarcasm. It'd be nice to have a fan base right about now.

Yes, been a while. I never got the text-to-journal feature to work. Sitting at my computer to type something here seems too... depressing for some reason.

I'm coming up on seven years I've been back in hicksville, USA. I don't want to sound bitter when speaking of my host but I could not abide by it when I left back in '93 and it has lost any charm it did possess when I moved back. Moreover, I feel I've lost most of my charm in the past years, years that have been stagnant and trying. I feel so old, sickly and, well, like a local, for that is what they do; they get on disability as early in life as possible, they pick up an addiction habit (genetics usually offers up a couple of avenues to choose from), they age, bloat, think they are owed all sorts of assisted living and retire to stagnation and ruin.

I don't know what's ailing me and the doctors aren't willing to help me. I've tried, honestly I have, to reverse my thinking, believing it is poisoning my body. I cannot possibly be thinking this much pain. My fear is I'll have to suffer a debilitating effect that will make me permanently infirm with them all saying, "if we had caught this earlier..." I am told that sex is an instant cure from mild depression and a friend is a sustaining prescription. Is either or too much to ask for? Is both a king's ransom?

I know I am the problem so even though this place contributes surgically removing myself from it won't cure me. Perhaps I need treatment somewhere else, even if just temporarily. Returning to Myrtle Beach back in December didn't help; No friend, no sex. raen has invited me out to San Fran, an offer I really should take him up on; a friend at hand and at least we can start by talking about girls.

Doctor prescribed a drug to me, requested I have labs done again four weeks later. Going to pick up the medication from my pharmacy I am told it needed "prior authorization," I should check back in a few days. I get a call this morning from the nurse at my doctor's office whom tells me another replacement has been called in instead, to take it and have labs done in three months. Three months, I said? She tells me it's less effective and takes longer for results.

It's one thing for a person to opt for an OTC treatment that takes longer for a lesser price (Monistat 1, 3, 7 comes to mind) but for an insurance company to tell me my cure, treatment, alleviation, my life is not worth the best there is to offer angers me. But, hell, these are the same assholes who said I couldn't have an MRI before denying everything, then not before an X-Ray (which found nothing), then not before a CT (which found nothing), THEN allows an MRI that found an injured disc, six months later. Hippocrates would not be amused.

Why is it whenever someone posts "my God has forsaken me" and everyone else is offering up words of encouragement and spouting scripture about how He will never leave a Believer my first thought is "good for you"? Doubt leads to bigger revelations?