It's back to university for me! A girl can never have enough Diplomas in my opinion. Archaeology this time at Birkbeck and there had better be some good looking blokes on campus. I expect some action for my money!

The weekend is here and not a moment too soon. I am tempted to hang a big "Do Not Disturb" sign on my door and not re-emerge until Monday morning but I reckon my resolve to enjoy some hermit time might crumble by Saturday night as I havent had any alcohol all week. Two of my exes have asked me out seperately for a drink, which strikes me as somewhat fishy. Thank God SnowballInHell will be in town to save me from making any monumental mistakes.

I decided to take a chance on an old 60's cult film last weekend, based solely on the fact that the male lead was HOT back then. I now have a new favourite film.



A big wet to the first person who can name that movie.

Well, once more I am free and single. My hopes for a new relationship began to fade a few weeks ago when it became obvious that the person concerned was losing interest. It was he who said he wanted the relationship but it was me making all the effort. His texts and phone calls went from frequent and flirtacious to rare and devoid of emotion. Eventually, he stopped responding to me at all.

He said he was too busy with work. I knew when we first got to know each other that his job was demanding and that I wouldnt see him very often. I have my own life so it wasnt a problem. But no relationship can survive a complete lack of communication. I feel sorry for the person who feels he is too busy to find five minutes a day to speak to his friends but not sorry enough to put my life on hold and spend my spare time sitting by the phone hoping for the call that never arrives. To expect as much is completely unreasonable.

In the end I felt I had no other option to call it off which I did this morning with a final message saying goodbye. I would have preferred to talk it over with him, to find out what was going on. I still feel he at least owes me an explanation for his behaviour but I know that's not going to be forthcoming now.

Of course, I now feel guilty for calling it off. I dont like having to end something by voicemail or text message because it smells of cowardice but when a person wont answer their phone what other choice do you have? I had great hopes. I still really like him. I feel that a great opportunity has been thrown away and it upsets me that he seemed willing to do so in such a casual manner. I wasnt even worth going to the effort of a phone call for.

Fuck fuck fuckitty fuck.

Fucking Northern Line!

Two hours to get home tonight. TWO HOURS to go five miles!! I could have walked home. Hell I could have commuted to York in that time.

I so cant wait for summer. If it's this bad now it's going to be a real joy in 130 degree heat with the rails melting, trains derailing and passengers passing out with heat stroke.

Well I suppose four months is long enough to make you wait for an update so here it is:

I have a new apartment, with a garden, next to a park and a boating lake. Very nice and cheaper than my old place in the concrete jungle.

I threw away a large chunk of cash on a proper coffee machine so all my brainwashed Starbucks addicted mates can come round and taste real coffee.

I have successfully avoided being invited to any weddings this year, having been made to feel old and unwanted by the four invitations I got last year.

My love life still sucks, thanks to the fact that my current flame has been away working for two months. Never, ever get involved with a thespian. Not only do they work all hours but they get to spend their time with actors who have played significant parts in your dirtiest sexual fantasies.

Now, what I really, really need to do is find a recipe for a good chilli chicken ramen without blowing a lot of spondoolies on a cook book.

PS: I see things in SGUK are slacking. I've been away for four months and I'm still a member. The fascist jackboot of moderation has obviously been replaced by the chenille slipper of indolence.

Thank you to whoever sent me two new books from my wishlist this week.


I have decided to go AWOL for a while simply because I've got too much going on in real life at the moment (in a good way) to keep this journal as well as my own blog up to date.

Catch ya later kids
T
xxx

For the first time since I was at school and being bullied my self confidence has completely disappeared.

Maybe the events of the past few months are finally taking their toll, maybe it's just my hormones but right now I feel utterly unloved and unlovable.

Update on the being dumped situation:

I emailed him back saying I wasnt very impressed with the situation and he really should have told me before introducing me to all his friends that he didnt feel things were going to work out.

His response was the epitome of male tact. He changed his story to say that he didnt think I was his type and had known that for a while.

Well, shucks, I'm so glad you didnt go into the diplomatic core. We were shagging like rabbits for three weeks and all the time you didnt think I was your type???

At this point I stopped being hurt and started feeling REALLY FUCKING HURT and not a little pissed off.

Still, I didnt study A Level English for nothing. Lord Byron would have been proud of my reply to that one. He is now wracked with guilt and shitting a brick about my imminent trip to his house to drop off the stuff he left at my flat. I plan to just dump it in a box on his doorstep but he doesnt know that. I really cant be arsed with a confrontation but I'm going to let him sweat for a couple of days that that is what he's going to get.

I dont bear grudges for long because by and large I still care about all the guys I've dated even if they have had their arsehole moments, but I'm making sure he learns a lesson from this. I may get my heart stomped on more than is strictly fair but I still have a few claws left.

I've been dumped.

After introducing me to all his friends at the weekend and inviting me to a girlfriends dinner at his home he has decided that he cant get emotionally involved with someone because he's scared of getting hurt.

If there's anyone out there on Yahoo I could do with a shoulder to cry on right now. Someone please IM me