Well I suppose four months is long enough to make you wait for an update so here it is:

I have a new apartment, with a garden, next to a park and a boating lake. Very nice and cheaper than my old place in the concrete jungle.

I threw away a large chunk of cash on a proper coffee machine so all my brainwashed Starbucks addicted mates can come round and taste real coffee.

I have successfully avoided being invited to any weddings this year, having been made to feel old and unwanted by the four invitations I got last year.

My love life still sucks, thanks to the fact that my current flame has been away working for two months. Never, ever get involved with a thespian. Not only do they work all hours but they get to spend their time with actors who have played significant parts in your dirtiest sexual fantasies.

Now, what I really, really need to do is find a recipe for a good chilli chicken ramen without blowing a lot of spondoolies on a cook book.

PS: I see things in SGUK are slacking. I've been away for four months and I'm still a member. The fascist jackboot of moderation has obviously been replaced by the chenille slipper of indolence.