IPOD
RADIO
i have worked like crazy this week, and last night the hubster and I went to see the Faint play in pomona.
admittedly, I havent been to a "show" in over 10 years. concerts I go to about once a year. But nothing like this tiny venue in a really long time. It started off great, I was standing right behind this tiny chick who was right behind the railing in the very front. There was a Dj for an hour, and that was kind of boring. Then a band called jaguar love came on and i had no idea who they were.
Then the faint came on and i was smashed within an inch of my life and my right arm is a mass of bruises from the uber scrawny emo boi next to me. He decided that instead of just dropping his arms to his sides, he would repeatedly jab me with his bony ass elbow. Half way through the first song some crowd surfing scenster landed on my husbands head, knocking his glasses off(which of course were obliterated). Thats when we decided to shove our way back and get to where we could breathe. The rest of the show was awesome. And the venue was so small that you could see from everywhere.
I can't wait till this band hits it big. they are soooo good. even live, which is awesome.
If you like funky, weird, technoy stuff, i highly recommend them. the faint, check them out.
as for being anywhere near the front at a "show" ever again, Im just too damned old for that shit. heh.
when we were up front
from the back.
I took this with my stupid phone. for some reason it looks like the place was bigger in the photos. Im taking my nice camera to the show in san diego tomorrow!
oh and this was jaguar love
admittedly, I havent been to a "show" in over 10 years. concerts I go to about once a year. But nothing like this tiny venue in a really long time. It started off great, I was standing right behind this tiny chick who was right behind the railing in the very front. There was a Dj for an hour, and that was kind of boring. Then a band called jaguar love came on and i had no idea who they were.
Then the faint came on and i was smashed within an inch of my life and my right arm is a mass of bruises from the uber scrawny emo boi next to me. He decided that instead of just dropping his arms to his sides, he would repeatedly jab me with his bony ass elbow. Half way through the first song some crowd surfing scenster landed on my husbands head, knocking his glasses off(which of course were obliterated). Thats when we decided to shove our way back and get to where we could breathe. The rest of the show was awesome. And the venue was so small that you could see from everywhere.
I can't wait till this band hits it big. they are soooo good. even live, which is awesome.
If you like funky, weird, technoy stuff, i highly recommend them. the faint, check them out.
as for being anywhere near the front at a "show" ever again, Im just too damned old for that shit. heh.
when we were up front
from the back.
I took this with my stupid phone. for some reason it looks like the place was bigger in the photos. Im taking my nice camera to the show in san diego tomorrow!
oh and this was jaguar love
i dont like posting two, or even three downer blogs in a row. So I will just say that things are pretty rough, in all areas of my life at the moment. Except for my marriage, which is actually pretty great.
Yay for an awesome spouse.
Yay for an awesome spouse.
The service for my uncle was on Saturday. it was really, really nice. A lot of old friends came and had a lot of good stories to share. My brothers soon-to-be mother in law, made an image slideshow with music, to showcase my uncles life. There were a lot of great pictures in there, and it brought back so many great memories. I think it would have made him blush and groan to see us all bellowing like babies and talking about how great he was. he was so humble. He didnt advertise his good deeds. But we learned a lot about them when we all came together to talk about how he touched our lives.
My brother wrote a song for him. He recorded the whole thing in my old bedroom. But it sounded like it came out of a recording studio. I am so proud of what a great musician he's become. The song was really sweet, and it is a nice way to remember him.
I go back to work tomorrow. I hope I can hang. I've been crying on and off every day this week. I havent had anyone this close to me pass before. Which is both a blessing and a curse. I've been able to spend 26 years of my life with the people closest to me, and for that I am thankful. but I also have no idea how to cope with death. It freaks me out, and always has. But even knowing that it happens to everyone, and that it's a part of life, doesn't make it any easier.
Thank you to all of you who gave my family and I your condolences. It means a lot to me. and I really wish you all could have met my uncle. He was the shit.
xo,
Nikki
My brother wrote a song for him. He recorded the whole thing in my old bedroom. But it sounded like it came out of a recording studio. I am so proud of what a great musician he's become. The song was really sweet, and it is a nice way to remember him.
I go back to work tomorrow. I hope I can hang. I've been crying on and off every day this week. I havent had anyone this close to me pass before. Which is both a blessing and a curse. I've been able to spend 26 years of my life with the people closest to me, and for that I am thankful. but I also have no idea how to cope with death. It freaks me out, and always has. But even knowing that it happens to everyone, and that it's a part of life, doesn't make it any easier.
Thank you to all of you who gave my family and I your condolences. It means a lot to me. and I really wish you all could have met my uncle. He was the shit.
xo,
Nikki
My uncle died on saturday.
He was only 36 years old. He was diagnosed with congestive heart disease 3 years ago. They said his heart was only beating at ten percent of what would be considered normal. They suggested he get on a waiting list for a heart transplant.
Over the next year he lost over 100 pounds on weight watchers, and took my mom on an amazing vacation to new york city. He was forced into early retirement and moved back in with my grandparents. The doctors told him that due his dramatic weight loss, and the fact the he doesnt drink heavily, he would be an excellent candidate for a transplant.
He had been feeling really weak and tired over the past couple of weeks, and my mom and grandparents urged him to get back to the doctor. but before that could happen, he had a massive coronary episode which left him dead before the ambulance arrived.
He was a truly good person. Which sounds cliche, but in this case, it's the truth. He was taken advantage of on numerous occasions due to his kind(yet sadly, weak) heart and generosity. He would have given anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it. He was like a big brother to me. He took care of us when my mom ditched out. And he was my babysitter throughout elementary school. He coached me in t-ball, and let me play his nintendo. We would dog-pile him any chance we got. His laugh was infectious, and his goofy grin would have your mirroring it, no matter how foul a mood you'd been in.
I just wish I'd have gone to the dodger games he invited me to. I'm going to miss him a lot. And visiting my grandparents just won't be the same without him.
On the same note, but a slightly different angle, I want to physically harm my boss. I've already had to deal with HR over her. On 2 ocassions. A little backstory:
In February, she took over the district. She is a new DM, never been in charge of this many stores before. So I understand that there is a period of adjustment, and a learning curve involved. But I do expect SOME level of competence. I have been cussed out by her, and had my intelligence demeaned by her(its actually kind of funny when someone who isn't as smart as you, acts like you're the stupid one). I've talked to HR about the issues and she has changed her approach with me quite a bit. Which i am happy about. But she still lashes out irrationally. at other managers, including my husband.
I emailed her yesterday to inform her of my uncle's death and the fact that my grandma(my uncle's mom) was hospitalized on Sunday night, and that I needed to go see her, and be with my family. I also informed her that my closing manager wasnt going to be in until 330 and that I wouldnt be able to make it to the meeting(we have a meeting every week in another city, which is completely unnecessary when every other district has conference calls). I didnt get a response from her, so i asked my husband to call her to make sure she got the message(I couldnt hold my composure, and was only at work for lack of coverage). When he spoke with her, she was angry because this was the second meeting we would be missing. And she didnt understand why HE couldnt attend. He explained to her that we only have one car, and that i dont have my license yet. She repeated herself by saying "But, I just dont understand why you cant be here. And what's going on with her coverage?" He explained again, that he has to drive me, and that if we were able to change the circumstances and were able to attend her meeting, we would. She then said, well, there's nothing I can do. Legally you get three days for bereavement, so do what you have to do.
Part of me knew that her response would be something like this. Which is why I asked him to do it. I knew that the moment she tried to guilt trip us about the meeting, I would lose it. We dont even get reimbursed for gas to go to the fucking things. If we were just dating, I could see the problem. But he's my HUSBAND, he's part of my family, and this affects him to. I dont expect her condolences, but i do expect her to be a decent human being and not make matters worse.
She's stupid, incompetent and needs someone to hold her hand through everything she does. she also has no idea how to handle people and situations in a professional manner. It's been a recurring issue, and this is the last straw. I am going to request a transfer once things settle a little, and i can stop bawling my eyes out.
ugh.
He was only 36 years old. He was diagnosed with congestive heart disease 3 years ago. They said his heart was only beating at ten percent of what would be considered normal. They suggested he get on a waiting list for a heart transplant.
Over the next year he lost over 100 pounds on weight watchers, and took my mom on an amazing vacation to new york city. He was forced into early retirement and moved back in with my grandparents. The doctors told him that due his dramatic weight loss, and the fact the he doesnt drink heavily, he would be an excellent candidate for a transplant.
He had been feeling really weak and tired over the past couple of weeks, and my mom and grandparents urged him to get back to the doctor. but before that could happen, he had a massive coronary episode which left him dead before the ambulance arrived.
He was a truly good person. Which sounds cliche, but in this case, it's the truth. He was taken advantage of on numerous occasions due to his kind(yet sadly, weak) heart and generosity. He would have given anyone the shirt off his back if they needed it. He was like a big brother to me. He took care of us when my mom ditched out. And he was my babysitter throughout elementary school. He coached me in t-ball, and let me play his nintendo. We would dog-pile him any chance we got. His laugh was infectious, and his goofy grin would have your mirroring it, no matter how foul a mood you'd been in.
I just wish I'd have gone to the dodger games he invited me to. I'm going to miss him a lot. And visiting my grandparents just won't be the same without him.
On the same note, but a slightly different angle, I want to physically harm my boss. I've already had to deal with HR over her. On 2 ocassions. A little backstory:
In February, she took over the district. She is a new DM, never been in charge of this many stores before. So I understand that there is a period of adjustment, and a learning curve involved. But I do expect SOME level of competence. I have been cussed out by her, and had my intelligence demeaned by her(its actually kind of funny when someone who isn't as smart as you, acts like you're the stupid one). I've talked to HR about the issues and she has changed her approach with me quite a bit. Which i am happy about. But she still lashes out irrationally. at other managers, including my husband.
I emailed her yesterday to inform her of my uncle's death and the fact that my grandma(my uncle's mom) was hospitalized on Sunday night, and that I needed to go see her, and be with my family. I also informed her that my closing manager wasnt going to be in until 330 and that I wouldnt be able to make it to the meeting(we have a meeting every week in another city, which is completely unnecessary when every other district has conference calls). I didnt get a response from her, so i asked my husband to call her to make sure she got the message(I couldnt hold my composure, and was only at work for lack of coverage). When he spoke with her, she was angry because this was the second meeting we would be missing. And she didnt understand why HE couldnt attend. He explained to her that we only have one car, and that i dont have my license yet. She repeated herself by saying "But, I just dont understand why you cant be here. And what's going on with her coverage?" He explained again, that he has to drive me, and that if we were able to change the circumstances and were able to attend her meeting, we would. She then said, well, there's nothing I can do. Legally you get three days for bereavement, so do what you have to do.
Part of me knew that her response would be something like this. Which is why I asked him to do it. I knew that the moment she tried to guilt trip us about the meeting, I would lose it. We dont even get reimbursed for gas to go to the fucking things. If we were just dating, I could see the problem. But he's my HUSBAND, he's part of my family, and this affects him to. I dont expect her condolences, but i do expect her to be a decent human being and not make matters worse.
She's stupid, incompetent and needs someone to hold her hand through everything she does. she also has no idea how to handle people and situations in a professional manner. It's been a recurring issue, and this is the last straw. I am going to request a transfer once things settle a little, and i can stop bawling my eyes out.
ugh.
this is the 4th session of my half sleeve:
just one or two more to go. Then we journey to other regions for a while. Eventually we will do the underside of the arm. But i think I want to start some other pieces first.
I just finished Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I loved every moment of it. I actually had to take a pause in reading because I didn't want it to end. But alas, it is finished. I truky loved all the books and want to read them all again after I catch up on a few others. I'm currently reading The Talisman. It's getting interesting now, which is a relief. It reminds me of Insomnia in that sense, Slow to start, then gets very, very interesting,
How have you been?
just one or two more to go. Then we journey to other regions for a while. Eventually we will do the underside of the arm. But i think I want to start some other pieces first.
I just finished Stephen King's Dark Tower series. I loved every moment of it. I actually had to take a pause in reading because I didn't want it to end. But alas, it is finished. I truky loved all the books and want to read them all again after I catch up on a few others. I'm currently reading The Talisman. It's getting interesting now, which is a relief. It reminds me of Insomnia in that sense, Slow to start, then gets very, very interesting,
How have you been?
in an LP training course I learned that 10% of your employees will always steal, 10% will never steal, and the rest could go either way depending on the precautions taken to prevent theft.
It just really really sucks when it turns out that the 10% that always steal, are the peoplr you thought you could trust most. This isn't something that's happened to me recently, but something similar happened to me in the past, and it hurts to see it happen to someone I care about.
It's tough managing a store sometimes. Especially when you get fucked over by your staff.
My personal staff is more or less OK. My ASM is a bit shady and I've been complaining to the higher ups about him for some time. But because thier yearly bonus is affected by turnover, they have neglected to do anything about it. He hasn't done any major theft as far as I have seen(And I've been checking on everything lately) and I guess until he does, im stuck with him. But I don't think any amount of training will set things straight with him. He undermines me at every turn and it drives me crazy. But I'm notifying people when things go awry and hopefully if anything does go down with him, it wont come back to bite me in the ass because i've told them how i feel about him.
My next tattoo appointment is on the 2nd. Im anxious but scared. the pain was pretty intense, but im just hoping that it only started hurting so much beause i had already been siting for 3 hours before he started the color. Eep, wish me luck.
It just really really sucks when it turns out that the 10% that always steal, are the peoplr you thought you could trust most. This isn't something that's happened to me recently, but something similar happened to me in the past, and it hurts to see it happen to someone I care about.
It's tough managing a store sometimes. Especially when you get fucked over by your staff.
My personal staff is more or less OK. My ASM is a bit shady and I've been complaining to the higher ups about him for some time. But because thier yearly bonus is affected by turnover, they have neglected to do anything about it. He hasn't done any major theft as far as I have seen(And I've been checking on everything lately) and I guess until he does, im stuck with him. But I don't think any amount of training will set things straight with him. He undermines me at every turn and it drives me crazy. But I'm notifying people when things go awry and hopefully if anything does go down with him, it wont come back to bite me in the ass because i've told them how i feel about him.
My next tattoo appointment is on the 2nd. Im anxious but scared. the pain was pretty intense, but im just hoping that it only started hurting so much beause i had already been siting for 3 hours before he started the color. Eep, wish me luck.
I got started on my left arm today! I am sooo excited!
It's being done by Pat at Red Hot Tattoo in Arcadia, CA.
The anchor is partially submerged and embedded in coral. The coral borders he entire piece and will be a sea foamy green/blue, the waves toward the top will be highlighted with the same colors as the sun. It covers my nautical star, which is good because they were poorly done. I'm happy with what I see now, but the real results won't be in for a couple weeks hehe. I will keep you updated on the progress.
It's being done by Pat at Red Hot Tattoo in Arcadia, CA.
The anchor is partially submerged and embedded in coral. The coral borders he entire piece and will be a sea foamy green/blue, the waves toward the top will be highlighted with the same colors as the sun. It covers my nautical star, which is good because they were poorly done. I'm happy with what I see now, but the real results won't be in for a couple weeks hehe. I will keep you updated on the progress.
My store is being re-districted. I'm kind of nervous about the new boss lady, but hopefully she'll be a little more hands on than my old boss was. hehe.
But if things don't seem to be going well, I guess I will finally start looking for something new. Luckily, I have a good deal of management experience now, so hopefully I can find something that pays the same or better.
We got a car! Yay! I am so happy! It's been a year since our last car gave up and died and we are now in a place where we can save money and actually get our shit together. it's so satisfying. I hated the struggling, week to week, check to check. Now we were able to throw down for a decent car, pay our rent and other bills and have money saved still. It's awesome.
I realize that to many of you this is no big deal, but it's an accomplishment for us. Mainly because we had gone through a significant rough patch and now it feels like we are finally pulling through. Plus this car(while not amazing) is so much better than our last one, on all levels. It just feels good.
Also, I got an amazing new camera for christmas. It's a canon S5 IS.
I havent taken many photos with it due to a lack of spare time, but once I get new batteries I will take some photos with it and post them.
How have you been? Spill.
But if things don't seem to be going well, I guess I will finally start looking for something new. Luckily, I have a good deal of management experience now, so hopefully I can find something that pays the same or better.
We got a car! Yay! I am so happy! It's been a year since our last car gave up and died and we are now in a place where we can save money and actually get our shit together. it's so satisfying. I hated the struggling, week to week, check to check. Now we were able to throw down for a decent car, pay our rent and other bills and have money saved still. It's awesome.
I realize that to many of you this is no big deal, but it's an accomplishment for us. Mainly because we had gone through a significant rough patch and now it feels like we are finally pulling through. Plus this car(while not amazing) is so much better than our last one, on all levels. It just feels good.
Also, I got an amazing new camera for christmas. It's a canon S5 IS.
I havent taken many photos with it due to a lack of spare time, but once I get new batteries I will take some photos with it and post them.
How have you been? Spill.
The cuteness overload group kills me. It's the best group ever when you feel like poo.
Here's to having too much to say and no time to say it!
Here's to having too much to say and no time to say it!
taking the day off for personal reasons. New post is in order.
I'm an emotional mess, but I know that things will eventually come to a close on these past moments and I will be able to continue on with my life, as usual. I want to go into detail, but I can't bring myself to. These are the types of things you really can only share with a true stranger. Anyone who knows me on any kind of personal level, couldn't possibly hold an unbiased stance on the issue. I guess I'll have to pay someone with a degree, good money to listen to me bitch and moan and help to put things in perspective. Unfortunately for me, I don't really have that kind of money at the moment. So, I guess I will have to wait it out, and try to work it out for myself until then.
Meanwhile( anyone whose read JTHM know the meanwhiles are the best part)
I'm stoned right now, pondering space, which i can do forever really. Because it's just so damn cool. It's so much to try and wrap your mind around. All of the unknowns, the what if's. Mind bottling, I tells ya.
My brother and I were discussing black holes the other day. As well as the theory of time travel, which we've decided isn't possible. Space and science are the things that made me question my faith. It's doing the same to my brother. He's a smart kid, but our family was very right-wing, and very religious, so we weren't exposed to freedom of thought until later in life. For me it wasn't until 11th grade, for him it's been only a few months. My mother of course assumes he's on drugs now. He's not going to church as much, or playing in the church's band anymore. So he must be out sinning. Personally i think it's about time. Now, I am in no way saying that it is wrong for people to have faith, or be religious. To each their own, it's just that for us. It wasn't a choice, and we weren't given any options as to what to believe, or what we could learn. So the fact that he is questioning his faith, in my opinion, isn't a sign that he is falling to the dark side, or is now some unstoppable force of evil. It says to me that he is finally starting to open his mind. Think for himself. I'm fucking proud of him. If he can rethink his feelings on Christianity, learn more about what else there is, and still come to the conclusion that being a stalwart christian and going to church 3 times a week is what is right for him. Then I will still be proud of him... for making his own choice.
I have nothing to get poetic about, I almost don't even remember what it's like to write a poem, or a story, or anything at all worth reading. I miss that sensation of getting a thought, that one line that pops into your head forcing you to grab your pen and just let the words flow. Writing, for me, was like what working out is like for some people. That rush, the energy that explodes inside you and you have to keep going. Let it all out. My creative outlets are dwindling. Writing, done. Song writing, done. Guitar playing, done. Photography, done. Drawing/painting, done. I can do all of these things well enough to satisfy myself(which is all that should matter really), but I haven't felt real inspiration in so long. I guess it comes with age, and i'm sure the grind isn't helping. 10 hours a day at work, plus getting dozens of phone calls from work on your days off. Yeah, not much time to get super creative. At least not in my line of work. Don't get me wrong. I love working at gamestop. I have some good people who work hard for me, and the environment is fun, but being in charge is a lot less fun than just being told what to do was. But such is responsibility. the issues I use to write so passionately about don't matter at all anymore, and the issues I am passionate about now, don't kindle that same fire. I feel like I'm becoming more and more private a person as the years pass. I feel like I share too much of myself with people who don't know me, so then I worry about the impression i'm making, whereas before, I couldn't give two shits what people thought of me. Now I feel like if I share something personal, a poem, or a story I've written, people will get the wrong impression about who I am as a person. Even in something as simple as this blog, in front of people I will likely never meet. I know it all stems from personal insecurities, which I am trying to work through. So hopefully when I do I will be able to share of myself more freely, because I assure you. I do have some tales to tell, in one medium or another.
ah, now back to space.
ps, Im still a night elf mohawk. And if you haven't seen that commercial, or you are unfamiliar with World of Warcraft, then it's probably for the best.
I'm an emotional mess, but I know that things will eventually come to a close on these past moments and I will be able to continue on with my life, as usual. I want to go into detail, but I can't bring myself to. These are the types of things you really can only share with a true stranger. Anyone who knows me on any kind of personal level, couldn't possibly hold an unbiased stance on the issue. I guess I'll have to pay someone with a degree, good money to listen to me bitch and moan and help to put things in perspective. Unfortunately for me, I don't really have that kind of money at the moment. So, I guess I will have to wait it out, and try to work it out for myself until then.
Meanwhile( anyone whose read JTHM know the meanwhiles are the best part)
I'm stoned right now, pondering space, which i can do forever really. Because it's just so damn cool. It's so much to try and wrap your mind around. All of the unknowns, the what if's. Mind bottling, I tells ya.
My brother and I were discussing black holes the other day. As well as the theory of time travel, which we've decided isn't possible. Space and science are the things that made me question my faith. It's doing the same to my brother. He's a smart kid, but our family was very right-wing, and very religious, so we weren't exposed to freedom of thought until later in life. For me it wasn't until 11th grade, for him it's been only a few months. My mother of course assumes he's on drugs now. He's not going to church as much, or playing in the church's band anymore. So he must be out sinning. Personally i think it's about time. Now, I am in no way saying that it is wrong for people to have faith, or be religious. To each their own, it's just that for us. It wasn't a choice, and we weren't given any options as to what to believe, or what we could learn. So the fact that he is questioning his faith, in my opinion, isn't a sign that he is falling to the dark side, or is now some unstoppable force of evil. It says to me that he is finally starting to open his mind. Think for himself. I'm fucking proud of him. If he can rethink his feelings on Christianity, learn more about what else there is, and still come to the conclusion that being a stalwart christian and going to church 3 times a week is what is right for him. Then I will still be proud of him... for making his own choice.
I have nothing to get poetic about, I almost don't even remember what it's like to write a poem, or a story, or anything at all worth reading. I miss that sensation of getting a thought, that one line that pops into your head forcing you to grab your pen and just let the words flow. Writing, for me, was like what working out is like for some people. That rush, the energy that explodes inside you and you have to keep going. Let it all out. My creative outlets are dwindling. Writing, done. Song writing, done. Guitar playing, done. Photography, done. Drawing/painting, done. I can do all of these things well enough to satisfy myself(which is all that should matter really), but I haven't felt real inspiration in so long. I guess it comes with age, and i'm sure the grind isn't helping. 10 hours a day at work, plus getting dozens of phone calls from work on your days off. Yeah, not much time to get super creative. At least not in my line of work. Don't get me wrong. I love working at gamestop. I have some good people who work hard for me, and the environment is fun, but being in charge is a lot less fun than just being told what to do was. But such is responsibility. the issues I use to write so passionately about don't matter at all anymore, and the issues I am passionate about now, don't kindle that same fire. I feel like I'm becoming more and more private a person as the years pass. I feel like I share too much of myself with people who don't know me, so then I worry about the impression i'm making, whereas before, I couldn't give two shits what people thought of me. Now I feel like if I share something personal, a poem, or a story I've written, people will get the wrong impression about who I am as a person. Even in something as simple as this blog, in front of people I will likely never meet. I know it all stems from personal insecurities, which I am trying to work through. So hopefully when I do I will be able to share of myself more freely, because I assure you. I do have some tales to tell, in one medium or another.
ah, now back to space.
ps, Im still a night elf mohawk. And if you haven't seen that commercial, or you are unfamiliar with World of Warcraft, then it's probably for the best.
SEPTEMBER 2008
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JUNE 2008