taking the day off for personal reasons. New post is in order.
I'm an emotional mess, but I know that things will eventually come to a close on these past moments and I will be able to continue on with my life, as usual. I want to go into detail, but I can't bring myself to. These are the types of things you really can only share with a true stranger. Anyone who knows me on any kind of personal level, couldn't possibly hold an unbiased stance on the issue. I guess I'll have to pay someone with a degree, good money to listen to me bitch and moan and help to put things in perspective. Unfortunately for me, I don't really have that kind of money at the moment. So, I guess I will have to wait it out, and try to work it out for myself until then.
Meanwhile( anyone whose read JTHM know the meanwhiles are the best part)
I'm stoned right now, pondering space, which i can do forever really. Because it's just so damn cool. It's so much to try and wrap your mind around. All of the unknowns, the what if's. Mind bottling, I tells ya.
My brother and I were discussing black holes the other day. As well as the theory of time travel, which we've decided isn't possible. Space and science are the things that made me question my faith. It's doing the same to my brother. He's a smart kid, but our family was very right-wing, and very religious, so we weren't exposed to freedom of thought until later in life. For me it wasn't until 11th grade, for him it's been only a few months. My mother of course assumes he's on drugs now. He's not going to church as much, or playing in the church's band anymore. So he must be out sinning. Personally i think it's about time. Now, I am in no way saying that it is wrong for people to have faith, or be religious. To each their own, it's just that for us. It wasn't a choice, and we weren't given any options as to what to believe, or what we could learn. So the fact that he is questioning his faith, in my opinion, isn't a sign that he is falling to the dark side, or is now some unstoppable force of evil. It says to me that he is finally starting to open his mind. Think for himself. I'm fucking proud of him. If he can rethink his feelings on Christianity, learn more about what else there is, and still come to the conclusion that being a stalwart christian and going to church 3 times a week is what is right for him. Then I will still be proud of him... for making his own choice.
I have nothing to get poetic about, I almost don't even remember what it's like to write a poem, or a story, or anything at all worth reading. I miss that sensation of getting a thought, that one line that pops into your head forcing you to grab your pen and just let the words flow. Writing, for me, was like what working out is like for some people. That rush, the energy that explodes inside you and you have to keep going. Let it all out. My creative outlets are dwindling. Writing, done. Song writing, done. Guitar playing, done. Photography, done. Drawing/painting, done. I can do all of these things well enough to satisfy myself(which is all that should matter really), but I haven't felt real inspiration in so long. I guess it comes with age, and i'm sure the grind isn't helping. 10 hours a day at work, plus getting dozens of phone calls from work on your days off. Yeah, not much time to get super creative. At least not in my line of work. Don't get me wrong. I love working at gamestop. I have some good people who work hard for me, and the environment is fun, but being in charge is a lot less fun than just being told what to do was. But such is responsibility. the issues I use to write so passionately about don't matter at all anymore, and the issues I am passionate about now, don't kindle that same fire. I feel like I'm becoming more and more private a person as the years pass. I feel like I share too much of myself with people who don't know me, so then I worry about the impression i'm making, whereas before, I couldn't give two shits what people thought of me. Now I feel like if I share something personal, a poem, or a story I've written, people will get the wrong impression about who I am as a person. Even in something as simple as this blog, in front of people I will likely never meet. I know it all stems from personal insecurities, which I am trying to work through. So hopefully when I do I will be able to share of myself more freely, because I assure you. I do have some tales to tell, in one medium or another.
ah, now back to space.
ps, Im still a night elf mohawk. And if you haven't seen that commercial, or you are unfamiliar with World of Warcraft, then it's probably for the best.
I'm an emotional mess, but I know that things will eventually come to a close on these past moments and I will be able to continue on with my life, as usual. I want to go into detail, but I can't bring myself to. These are the types of things you really can only share with a true stranger. Anyone who knows me on any kind of personal level, couldn't possibly hold an unbiased stance on the issue. I guess I'll have to pay someone with a degree, good money to listen to me bitch and moan and help to put things in perspective. Unfortunately for me, I don't really have that kind of money at the moment. So, I guess I will have to wait it out, and try to work it out for myself until then.
Meanwhile( anyone whose read JTHM know the meanwhiles are the best part)
I'm stoned right now, pondering space, which i can do forever really. Because it's just so damn cool. It's so much to try and wrap your mind around. All of the unknowns, the what if's. Mind bottling, I tells ya.
My brother and I were discussing black holes the other day. As well as the theory of time travel, which we've decided isn't possible. Space and science are the things that made me question my faith. It's doing the same to my brother. He's a smart kid, but our family was very right-wing, and very religious, so we weren't exposed to freedom of thought until later in life. For me it wasn't until 11th grade, for him it's been only a few months. My mother of course assumes he's on drugs now. He's not going to church as much, or playing in the church's band anymore. So he must be out sinning. Personally i think it's about time. Now, I am in no way saying that it is wrong for people to have faith, or be religious. To each their own, it's just that for us. It wasn't a choice, and we weren't given any options as to what to believe, or what we could learn. So the fact that he is questioning his faith, in my opinion, isn't a sign that he is falling to the dark side, or is now some unstoppable force of evil. It says to me that he is finally starting to open his mind. Think for himself. I'm fucking proud of him. If he can rethink his feelings on Christianity, learn more about what else there is, and still come to the conclusion that being a stalwart christian and going to church 3 times a week is what is right for him. Then I will still be proud of him... for making his own choice.
I have nothing to get poetic about, I almost don't even remember what it's like to write a poem, or a story, or anything at all worth reading. I miss that sensation of getting a thought, that one line that pops into your head forcing you to grab your pen and just let the words flow. Writing, for me, was like what working out is like for some people. That rush, the energy that explodes inside you and you have to keep going. Let it all out. My creative outlets are dwindling. Writing, done. Song writing, done. Guitar playing, done. Photography, done. Drawing/painting, done. I can do all of these things well enough to satisfy myself(which is all that should matter really), but I haven't felt real inspiration in so long. I guess it comes with age, and i'm sure the grind isn't helping. 10 hours a day at work, plus getting dozens of phone calls from work on your days off. Yeah, not much time to get super creative. At least not in my line of work. Don't get me wrong. I love working at gamestop. I have some good people who work hard for me, and the environment is fun, but being in charge is a lot less fun than just being told what to do was. But such is responsibility. the issues I use to write so passionately about don't matter at all anymore, and the issues I am passionate about now, don't kindle that same fire. I feel like I'm becoming more and more private a person as the years pass. I feel like I share too much of myself with people who don't know me, so then I worry about the impression i'm making, whereas before, I couldn't give two shits what people thought of me. Now I feel like if I share something personal, a poem, or a story I've written, people will get the wrong impression about who I am as a person. Even in something as simple as this blog, in front of people I will likely never meet. I know it all stems from personal insecurities, which I am trying to work through. So hopefully when I do I will be able to share of myself more freely, because I assure you. I do have some tales to tell, in one medium or another.
ah, now back to space.
ps, Im still a night elf mohawk. And if you haven't seen that commercial, or you are unfamiliar with World of Warcraft, then it's probably for the best.
it's been a rock band filled few days. In case you don't know what rock band is, imagine guitar hero, add a drummer, a bassist(which you can do in GH but not until part two, which kind of sucked anyway) and a singer. Then throw down a sweet song list, which includes some of my favorites such as : Nirvana(in bloom), YeahYeahYeahs(maps, love this song so much it hurts!), radiohead(creep), weezer(say it ain't so), Garbage(paranoid), Nine Inch Nails(hand that feeds off a-with-a-teeth-a) and various classics that don't fail to get you rocking out.
It's not perfect, there are some minor issues I had. Setting up a band was annoying, you can't have the same character do all four things, the guitar portion seems a little easier than guitar hero. But there are so many other redeeming qualities that all of the negatives seem meaningless. You can customize your character, it's not really as full as it could be, but the tattoo designer gives you some hefty creative freedom when it comes to your rockers ink. I gave one of my characters a sweet chest piece and her sleeves are a work in progress. This game kicks ass for many reasons! included with all the badass shit I've already listed, it also gave me the opportunity to hook up one of my coolest customers, Mr. Wil Wheaton. (I know this is shameful name dropping, but I have honestly never really seen anyone I recognized from anything before, let alone two things that filled my childhood, namely, Star Trek, next gen. and Stand by Me.) I recognized him immediately, and of course, acted like a total dork, but he's a genuinely nice person. which makes having him as a customer that much cooler!
) He wanted to pre-order rock band, but our quantities had already been filled, and we were told not to do any further pre-ordering for that title. Since I had a copy reserved for myself, I decided to let Mr. Wheaton pick up my copy. He apparently really appreciated the gesture, and returned the favor by bring me an autographed copy of his latest book, The Happiest Days of our Lives. I havent finished it, (between rock band and work, black friday hell for 10.5 hours today) I havent had much time to read. But what I've read so far has been really cool. It's awesome as a fan, to be able to catch a glimpse into the memories of someone you grew up watching on tv. Thanks Mr. Wheaton for sharing your memories in book form, and giving me a copy of them to read. 
I'm a night elf mohawk.
xo,
N
PS, thanks to a pre-order cancellation I was able to get a copy of rock band for myself. woot.
It's not perfect, there are some minor issues I had. Setting up a band was annoying, you can't have the same character do all four things, the guitar portion seems a little easier than guitar hero. But there are so many other redeeming qualities that all of the negatives seem meaningless. You can customize your character, it's not really as full as it could be, but the tattoo designer gives you some hefty creative freedom when it comes to your rockers ink. I gave one of my characters a sweet chest piece and her sleeves are a work in progress. This game kicks ass for many reasons! included with all the badass shit I've already listed, it also gave me the opportunity to hook up one of my coolest customers, Mr. Wil Wheaton. (I know this is shameful name dropping, but I have honestly never really seen anyone I recognized from anything before, let alone two things that filled my childhood, namely, Star Trek, next gen. and Stand by Me.) I recognized him immediately, and of course, acted like a total dork, but he's a genuinely nice person. which makes having him as a customer that much cooler!
I'm a night elf mohawk.
xo,
N
PS, thanks to a pre-order cancellation I was able to get a copy of rock band for myself. woot.
i played hooky today. I honestly don't feel good, but I probably could have worked through it. But the fact is, I havent had a real vacation in a long time. Well that's not exactly true, i did go to Chicago over the summer, and that was most certainly a vacation, but my store is covered today, and I wanted to rest. And thusly, I am. 
it is awesome finally having a full staff and people there to cover ME when I need them to. Instead of me being the only one who could cover anyone, and often times having to close the store alone. (which in a mall, can really suck ass) My team is coming along well, improving week by week.
There was this girl that I worked with at Torrid, who i want to take pictures of for PSW so badly! I told her about SG, which she had already heard of, but when I told her about PSW she seemed really excited and said it seemed like something she would want to do. She's got great style and is seriously beautiful. I think I might bug her about it, and maybe even buy her a gift membership so she can check it out.
Derek went and got his medicinal license to purchase, carry, and smoke legally in the state of California. I will most likely be getting mine as well. I've been smoking on and off since I was in high school, but now I am honestly using it for more medicinal purposes, calming nausea, my arthritis(yeah, it really, really sucks). There are so many benefits to it, on so many levels, and so many ways to consume, that smoking is so far from the only option. I never plan on giving up on this as a form of medicine because it truly works. And for people with incurable, painful diseases it is a godsend.
With terminal cancer patients, nine times out of ten, the medicine they are taking is only helping with one or two of their symptoms, while doing more damage to them than their cancer is. Same goes for HIV and AIDS patients. I wont preach on the benefits of medicinal Cannabis in this journal, but the next one might get a little preachy, as the more I educate my self on the subject, the more passionate I am sure to become about it.
it is awesome finally having a full staff and people there to cover ME when I need them to. Instead of me being the only one who could cover anyone, and often times having to close the store alone. (which in a mall, can really suck ass) My team is coming along well, improving week by week.
There was this girl that I worked with at Torrid, who i want to take pictures of for PSW so badly! I told her about SG, which she had already heard of, but when I told her about PSW she seemed really excited and said it seemed like something she would want to do. She's got great style and is seriously beautiful. I think I might bug her about it, and maybe even buy her a gift membership so she can check it out.
Derek went and got his medicinal license to purchase, carry, and smoke legally in the state of California. I will most likely be getting mine as well. I've been smoking on and off since I was in high school, but now I am honestly using it for more medicinal purposes, calming nausea, my arthritis(yeah, it really, really sucks). There are so many benefits to it, on so many levels, and so many ways to consume, that smoking is so far from the only option. I never plan on giving up on this as a form of medicine because it truly works. And for people with incurable, painful diseases it is a godsend.
With terminal cancer patients, nine times out of ten, the medicine they are taking is only helping with one or two of their symptoms, while doing more damage to them than their cancer is. Same goes for HIV and AIDS patients. I wont preach on the benefits of medicinal Cannabis in this journal, but the next one might get a little preachy, as the more I educate my self on the subject, the more passionate I am sure to become about it.
I haven't been active much lately. Things have been extremely hectic for me for the past couple of months, basically ever since I got home from chicago. My boss at gamestop told me she'd put in her two weeks, I met with my district manager he offered me the position of store manager, and I took it. Unfortunately the store was in total chaos and I was in need of a whole new staff. But the store is getting much, much better, and I am leaving for the managers conference in las vegas this sunday. I am so excited. I really want my store to succeed, so I'm anxious to learn more about how to run a store efficiently not to mention that we are stying at the mandalay bay, and we'll be getting lots of free stuff from the vendors. 
If any of you are in the vegas area and want to get together, let me know, I'll be there till the 13th.
If any of you are in the vegas area and want to get together, let me know, I'll be there till the 13th.
Well I am back from Chicago. And it was a fucking awesome time. I didnt get to meet up with any SG people, which I was hoping to, we were just too busy doing stuff. We spent most of our time in the city, but our hotel was in a little town called waukeegan. And we also visited Gurney and Aurora(party on) IL.as well as Wisconsin. Milwaukee was not the most exciting place, but the architecture was awesome. We also found a pretty kick ass Irish pub there with a nice Guinness and yummy corned beef.
Our first real day out, we went to Soldier field and the Shedd aquarium then we took a water taxi to navi pier. Wandered around for a bit, then headed to the Taste of Chicago, which is a huge food fest in the park. There are a shitload of booths set up, with the local places set up giving a taste(or a full portion) of their finer selections. You buy tickets and it was 3 tickets for a taste, and 6 for a full. I basically kissed my diet goodbye at this point. But it was fun despite the heat and my poor choice in footwear. We had a fun night out where we all got dolled up and went on the town to the snazzier places. And surprisingly we weren't turned away from any of the places we visited. We saw fireworks from two different boats on the lake. Once on the 4th, then again the night before we left. And on the day we left we visited millennium park and marveled at the bean. I wanted to take it home with me. Amazing, really.
I took a shit ton of pictures, but I wont bore you to death with all of them, here are some of the highlights though.


globe on the docks by the shedd


fireworks from the boat on the 4th of july


fireworks 2


old Milwaukee water tower


museum of contemporary art


2


dusk


2


boats in the lock


last day
Our first real day out, we went to Soldier field and the Shedd aquarium then we took a water taxi to navi pier. Wandered around for a bit, then headed to the Taste of Chicago, which is a huge food fest in the park. There are a shitload of booths set up, with the local places set up giving a taste(or a full portion) of their finer selections. You buy tickets and it was 3 tickets for a taste, and 6 for a full. I basically kissed my diet goodbye at this point. But it was fun despite the heat and my poor choice in footwear. We had a fun night out where we all got dolled up and went on the town to the snazzier places. And surprisingly we weren't turned away from any of the places we visited. We saw fireworks from two different boats on the lake. Once on the 4th, then again the night before we left. And on the day we left we visited millennium park and marveled at the bean. I wanted to take it home with me. Amazing, really.
I took a shit ton of pictures, but I wont bore you to death with all of them, here are some of the highlights though.

globe on the docks by the shedd

fireworks from the boat on the 4th of july

fireworks 2

old Milwaukee water tower

museum of contemporary art

2

dusk

2

boats in the lock

last day
Shit was/is fucked up.
One of my associates at GameStop, found out my password and was using my information to post void hefty cash transactions and pocket the money. The whole time being peaches and cream to me, and setting me up to take a fall while she robbed the store of thousands of dollars. Yes, thousands! 3800 of them to be exact. And not only under my password info, but our third keys as well. She told a friend of hers to come apply at our store, told her exactly what to say, and the whole time they both claimed they didn't know each other. Of course they knew each other, it was obvious when they started hanging out constantly just after the girls interview. They both took money, and the LP person came to investigate me, but my store manager looked a little deeper into it and advised him against interviewing me because she knew it wasn't me and that if they were to wrongly accuse me of something like that, that I would most likely be very pissed, and with good reason.
Further investigation revealed that I wasn't present during the times that the post voids took place. With the exception of one. Which took place during one of my 15 minute breaks. While the other key holder was in the bathroom. I am so completely pissed about all of this. This could have not only cost me my job, but possibly my husbands as well. He is the store manager at another store in my district and even though he's never done anything wrong, they could still find little things to get him fired. This could have easily ruined our lives being that neither of us have much more than retail experience and both of us have worked for the same company for years now. AND we are both in management positions. We could never pass another background check if this would have fallen on me.
it's sad because our third key really liked both of them, and hung out with them from time to time. They constantly flirted with him and played him for such a fool. He was livid when he found out, and we would all love to plot our revenge. But it's not necessary, this will be on both of their records and will keep them from getting a management position anywhere, forever. And in addition, our LP is making each of them pay back what they admitted to taking. Even though there was only a total of 3800 taken, one of them admitted to taking all of it, and giving some of it to her friend at the time she took it. Her friend admitted to accepting 800 of it. So he is making the one pay back 3800 and the other pay back the 800 she admitted to taking from her friend. The took a total of 2000 under my information and the rest under his.
I would still love to send a letter to her parents telling them what she did, as well as an anonymous letter to her boyfriends job place being that they live together and there is no way he didnt know what was going on. And I wouldnt be surprised if her put her up to it.
My job is safer now that she is gone I guess. But now I feel so wary and cautious of the rest of my co-workers. but at least we'll be able to hire more people, who will hopefully take their job seriously, and be willing to do as they are asked. No more whining, and complaining. it's really a blessing that she's gone, and that she took down her little ditzy friend in the process.
My vacation is coming up quick and I still havent been able to find a cheap place to board my dogs. Looks like Im going to have to bribe one of the neighbors to feed and water them while we're away. *sigh*
One of my associates at GameStop, found out my password and was using my information to post void hefty cash transactions and pocket the money. The whole time being peaches and cream to me, and setting me up to take a fall while she robbed the store of thousands of dollars. Yes, thousands! 3800 of them to be exact. And not only under my password info, but our third keys as well. She told a friend of hers to come apply at our store, told her exactly what to say, and the whole time they both claimed they didn't know each other. Of course they knew each other, it was obvious when they started hanging out constantly just after the girls interview. They both took money, and the LP person came to investigate me, but my store manager looked a little deeper into it and advised him against interviewing me because she knew it wasn't me and that if they were to wrongly accuse me of something like that, that I would most likely be very pissed, and with good reason.
Further investigation revealed that I wasn't present during the times that the post voids took place. With the exception of one. Which took place during one of my 15 minute breaks. While the other key holder was in the bathroom. I am so completely pissed about all of this. This could have not only cost me my job, but possibly my husbands as well. He is the store manager at another store in my district and even though he's never done anything wrong, they could still find little things to get him fired. This could have easily ruined our lives being that neither of us have much more than retail experience and both of us have worked for the same company for years now. AND we are both in management positions. We could never pass another background check if this would have fallen on me.
it's sad because our third key really liked both of them, and hung out with them from time to time. They constantly flirted with him and played him for such a fool. He was livid when he found out, and we would all love to plot our revenge. But it's not necessary, this will be on both of their records and will keep them from getting a management position anywhere, forever. And in addition, our LP is making each of them pay back what they admitted to taking. Even though there was only a total of 3800 taken, one of them admitted to taking all of it, and giving some of it to her friend at the time she took it. Her friend admitted to accepting 800 of it. So he is making the one pay back 3800 and the other pay back the 800 she admitted to taking from her friend. The took a total of 2000 under my information and the rest under his.
I would still love to send a letter to her parents telling them what she did, as well as an anonymous letter to her boyfriends job place being that they live together and there is no way he didnt know what was going on. And I wouldnt be surprised if her put her up to it.
My job is safer now that she is gone I guess. But now I feel so wary and cautious of the rest of my co-workers. but at least we'll be able to hire more people, who will hopefully take their job seriously, and be willing to do as they are asked. No more whining, and complaining. it's really a blessing that she's gone, and that she took down her little ditzy friend in the process.
My vacation is coming up quick and I still havent been able to find a cheap place to board my dogs. Looks like Im going to have to bribe one of the neighbors to feed and water them while we're away. *sigh*
I'm going to be in Chicago from july 3rd-13th. IF any of you chicago folks would like to meet up. Give me a holler. 
days off are bueno.
The season finale of heroes was cool, but of course I want to see more, like now.
Season finale of lost is tomorrow, and I am so excited.
Nothing truly new to report. Hope ya'll are well.
The season finale of heroes was cool, but of course I want to see more, like now.
Season finale of lost is tomorrow, and I am so excited.
Nothing truly new to report. Hope ya'll are well.
Well, as some of you who read my last journal know, I recently got hired at torrid, which is essentially my dream job at this point in my life. I could honestly see myself moving up in the company, fairly quickly, as can my Store manager and ASM. I was hoping to make a full transition into torrid, leaving gamestop behind. But recent events have given me the opportunity to get a promotion(starting this sunday!) with a $3 raise, benefits, personal time, sick pay, vacation time, and the lot...at gamestop. I'm taking it. The money is much needed right now, and I've been deserving of all the benefits a full time manager has to look forward to, since I was promoted to 3rd key 9 months ago. In fact, the policy changed litterally two weeks before my intial promotion, which took away all the sick/personal time and various other benefits, from 3rd keys.
What I am hoping to do is stay on at torrid for a day or two a week, get a few months of ASM experience under my belt, then talk to my DM at torrid and explain to her the situation, if my APTs and UPTs are as good or better than they are now, hopefully she can help me find a full time management position with torrid. My boss at gamestop doesnt want me to leave. Ever. My boss at torrid wants me to get more management experience, so they can promote me, and she doesnt want me to leave to do that either, lol. I really hope I can keep doing the 48-50 hour a week thing. It's kind of killing me a little.
I told my ASM at torrid about SG, she already knew what it was but I told her more about the community, and about the PSW group, and now she totally wants to join. I might buy her a gift membership so she can get a taste for it. I warned her though, I am naked up in this piece. hehe. I also told her about BadAssBetties, and she wants to do pinup now too hehe. I am so corrupting my pretty little co-workers. Why on earth isnth there a little devil smiley on this site?
I posted a little retro compilation of some of my oldest sets in PSW. I took them all down when I got my new camera thinking I would replace them all with better quality versions, and I just dont have time anymore.
The week ahead will be a long one, and hopefully things go well. Have an awesome weekend folks.
Thanks to all of you who wished me a happy birthday. It was a good one, thanks to my awesome husband and his family. Let's just say that I'm loved, and a little spoiled. 
DUDES!! I got a job at Torrid! I am so excited about this. I have wanted to work for them since I knew they existed and now I get my chance, I dont want to blow this. I go in on monday to fill out the paperwork and get my schedule, I'm nervous and excited.
DUDES!! I got a job at Torrid! I am so excited about this. I have wanted to work for them since I knew they existed and now I get my chance, I dont want to blow this. I go in on monday to fill out the paperwork and get my schedule, I'm nervous and excited.

