It's been a while since I've updated here... where to begin? I was having a bad few months - severe depression, I wouldn't leave the house. I ballooned up to about 160lbs - but I'm back down to 145 right now, and still dropping. Thank fuck. It was making me miserable. Just 20 more to go.

I just saw 'This Is It' three times this past week. What can I say? MJ diehard since age 5. His departure from this life absolutely wrecked me. Still does. Yes, I love him THAT much. Sigh. I got up and busted out my Beat It moves in front of the IMAX screen when that segment came on. I thought I was alone in the theater. However, upon finishing my routine, and hearing some applause... well, you know. I took my bow and sat back down.

On a lighter note - got a new car, and I'm leaving for vacation in 2 weeks. I'd say things are pretty good right now.

I'll update.

Yay:
-New car = spending time in the fresh air.
-Classes start in September.
-Been working out, drinking mucho water, losing weight.

Nay:
-New boy appears; and the old boy returns.
-Confused? Yes. I'll deal.
-My pretty lady is moving to Florida.



Despite the negatives, life is good.

Hmm... not much to update with, really. Still having trouble finding work. However, I am finally 100% set on what classes I'm going to take in a few months. I slacked off for a while - thanks, depression. Things have been down, and extremely awful with the boy since we parted ways. But such is life, and it must go on.

October was a blur. Spent many nights out and about with my lady, foreign rock boys and more alcohol than any human should ever consume. It was a good month, nonetheless, and I can't think of a better person to have spent it with than Miss Courtney.

November was just ridiculously awful. Worst month of my life, easily. Things went for a horrible downward spiral with the boy, and he went back to live in his old house. I finally bought myself a one way ticket out of this place, and only ended up being rushed to the hospital on my way to the airport instead. I've been back to the hospital three times since then. Fan-fucking-tastic.

December - my friends Brian & Joe finally tied the knot. It was a gorgeous little ceremony, cutest couple, EVAR. I'll admit I was a little sad, because the plans for a future that the boy and I started had failed on an epic scale... but I was incredibly happy for my friends, and what they share. They're beautiful. I couldn't ask for two better men in my life.

January. Houseguest. My bestest. He's amazing, and I love having him here, I just wish he lived closer. Also started talking to some old friends again, that's always a plus.

Which brings us to now - I'm sick. Still looking for work. Doing my taxes. Addicted to watching Supernatural, again. Playing a whooole lot of videogames in my downtime. Cursing the words "happy" and "valentine" and "love." Blah, I say. BLAAAH. My birthday is coming up in a few weeks, so I think a new tattoo as a treat to myself could possibly alleviate the gloom.

I also just realized (yes, this late in the evening) that it's Friday, the 13th.

Well, I DO have this machete, and a bottle of Jameson...
I need to find some woods.

Wow, it's been a while... time for an update: I'm STILL job hunting, ugh! Every callback and contact I've gotten was for part-time or seasonal work, and that just wouldn't make sense right now. I'd make less money, and lose my unemployment. I really, really, really hate being out of work. I also hate being on unemployment. I've been making my own money since I'm 14, and this just feels awkward to me. At least I'm not one of those people who just collects and sits back waiting for the job to come to them. I hate being lazy at home, but maybe that's just me.

On a happier note, I'll be taking classes soon. Time for the career, and I'll be training in the field of veterinary medicine. There's A LOT of work involved, but I'm ready for it. I haven't been a student since H.S., and that was a long time ago, lol. Dorky as it might be, I've been sitting on math.com, brushing up on algebra/calc. to see if I've still got what it takes, and what do ya know - my brain hasn't failed me yet. Wonderful.

I've been talking to this little lady Courtney, lately, and I'm glad I've got her. I have only two female friends aside from her, so it's refreshing to know that I have another lady friend that isn't a complete cunt (as most of them have been). Shane and I are also doing extremely well, aside from our separate miserable moments, but that's why we're working things out. I love that man to death.

That's about it. I think I'm going in for my chest piece soon, we'll see how that goes. I'm actually rather excited for it, because it's one of those tattoos that has an incredibly deep meaning for me.



P.S. - I am overjoyed that I can see my breath condense when I step outside, now. <333

So... I finally quit working at the porn store on my 5-year anniversary there. Luckily for me, they agreed to give me severance pay and jot down on the books that I was let go due to downsizing so I can collect unemployment for a bit. They feel it's "owed" to me after working 8 - 15 hour days, 4 or 5 days a week for the past five years. And I completely agree. I swear... if I had to spend one more day waking up at the crack of dawn to peddle smut to one more grumpy, old fuck... I'd lose it.

One of the many horrors of that store: arriving at 8:30a.m., only to have 6 cars lined up in the parking lot waiting for the doors to open. Picture the children in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory - only with 60-year old men & dildos, rather than sweet, delicious candy. Ugh. Just... UGH. There were perks, naturally, but after so long it's just as monotonous and draining as any other job.

Aside from freeing myself from that place, only a few other fun things have happened - I headed out to Bamboozle with miss Courtney, got into a fight (and I NEVER fight at shows, ever, because I usually stay calm & collected when surrounded by assholes), but this drunk dude seriously punched me in the ribs to make his way past me. No "excuse me," nothing. Just "fucking move" and punched me. So... I mean... yeah. I basically launched myself over the kid in front of me, grabbed this dude and punched him in the head a few times. He went down, at which point, his lame ass bitch tried to start with me, and I was NOT going to deal with that either, so...

Anyway. Happy stuff - I am still ridiculously in utter fucking love with the boyfriend, he still gives me butterflies when I wake up and see his face every morning, even after all of this time. We're going to Vegas in a few weeks to party with some friends, going to see the Crue in July, and I just got both of my feet tattooed. Mannn did those hurt, haha. Pain doesn't bother me at all, but I'm glad those are done with.

Well, that's about it. Not a very exciting life, I know.

Wow. Since I've 'rejoined' I've gotten some weird requests.

I'll start my 2008 blogging with this: I'm not here to look at naked men, so please... don't show me your penis. Or ask me to comment on photos of your penis... or anything of the like, really.

So... I've been away for a while, and yet, nothing of interest has really happened in the new year. Just saw some old friends, made some new ones. Changed my hair, again. Got tattooed, again. I finally made the long-thought about decision to move out of NY in 2009. I also planned a few mini-trips for this year... Vegas, NOLA, back to Disney. And, of course, when I finally get a new car - several road trips. I don't like staying in one place for too long, if you couldn't already tell.

My birthday was pretty good - had alot of old friends over, and it was cool to see them again. Other than that... nothing awesome has happened. Well, I've been listening to Pantera's 'Power Metal', and I think that's pretty awesome.

Not a damn thing to update with, really.

I just got back from my trip to Disney, which brought on some veryyy interesting videos and photos. Maybe I'll post some later. Things have been up and extremely down with Shane, I'm trying to trust him, but given the circumstances, it's realllllly hard. Blah.

New ETID album, looove it. New Chiodos, thumbs up. New AILD, fantastic. At least I had those to look forward to while I was away. I also came home to some Phil Ken Sebben and Brak's parents action figures.

Other than that, I'm sick, and I've still been packing on the hours at work, working a double here and there. We fired yet another employee for stealing. Easiest job in the world, and everyone still seems to fuck it up. At least it's busy now with the Halloween rush. Every girl on the island will soon be fighting over who can be the skankiest this year.

Shitty things:
- I cannot go to Sounds in Jersey this year, because apparently there's some "family function" that same day. Maybe I'll find a way out of this.
- I need some new friends. Like... in this area.
- I missed out on Genghis Tron last week.

Good things:
- I missed out on Genghis last week. But I did see This is Hell & Soldiers. And I'll be seeing G.T. with Ed Gein & Gaza in July. =]
- I'm about to book my trip to Disney. <333
- I'm going camping in one month.
- I'm taking the lovely Miss K out on a date for her birthday, complete with a Shiny River Anal Douche kit, sundresses, shades, and tasty lobster.
- I'm most likely going away for the weekend with Shane for his b-day.
- I've got a new, sweet camcorder arriving soon.

I must admit I was recently perturbed upon walking into a sick show and seeing a rather large handful of the lost overtanned Gottis just hanging around with their DragonBall-Z hair, and popped collars on their pink... no, I'm sorry, "salmon" Izod shirts.

What. The. Fuck. Did you get lost on your way to the Boardy Barn?

Genghis Tron and Pig Destroyer.
or...
This is Hell, Soldiers, Stray From the Path.

Decisions, decisions.

Not much at all to update on.

Still depressed as fuck, but I've been the master of illusions lately, seeing as though no one has noticed a thing. That, or they just don't give a shit.

Bamboozle was awesome, aside from the horrible flip-flop tan that I got on my feet.

I ate today! And 3 times when I was in Vegas. We're making progress.

I also blew $1,500 in Vegas a week ago. Mostly on drinks and shopping, lush dinners, and more drinks. And then more drinks in the pool. And then some more at random clubs.

My hair is back to black... and Tom Selleck can eat his heart out.