The Taco Bell next to my house got shut down this past week - it was really sad because well... it's where I hung out throughout everything in my teenage years. Plus, I haven't paid for dinner in almost two years, free burritos for liiiiiife. Now what? I'm a little lost
I deleted my facebook/twitter/tumblr/skype last night! My phone's been off for a month or so as well. A good friend - my best friend rather - did something small and insignificant to upset me but then I spent hours thinking about how people use me and mistreat me and got really sad, and decided it was time to disappear and focus on me.
Upon seeing my ex again, after he spent many months missing, he was immediately able to tell me what I'm doing wrong and why I'm so happy. He was able to tell me straight up that people are using me and that I've never really lived.. for myself. And I took that as initiative to start doing so. So here I am. Alone but by choice.
I was alone for a six month or so period this past winter, it definitely made me stronger but angrier, more independent but less trusting. We'll see how things go now. Time to focus on me and my future for once. I'm excited. I should have done this at the start of summer - when it was warm out - because nights are getting cold and I don't own any pants/sweaters/blankets and no one to borrow from
and no money coming in anymore. I'll figure it out 
General life update:
I finished my GED yesterday. I met some really interesting people in the hour long breaks (there were five hours of breaks total) and it kind of bummed me out that I'll never see them ever again. They inspired me in some ways as well. I'm thinking about doing college online, like, this fall. Rather than waiting. We'll see =)
First apartment.. yikes. I fell in love with a cute little one bedroom carriage house in a mediocre area. Let me rephrase that. I fell in love with a cute little one bedroom carriage house that's slightly out of my budget but I want it more than life and it will let me have a cat but I will be living alone in a high crime area. It's $750 a month plus utilities and internet. Plus I still need house... stuff. I'm going to add more things to my wishlist or more giftcards.
Speaking of being poor, I had to quit camwhoring so I could stay living where I live now, so basically all my income is.. on hold. I've been answering questions on chacha for pocketchange which has actually gotten me by the past week or so! I can't work a real job until after I get my wisdom teeth out.
So everything has been a bit jumbled and frustrating! But for the first time in a long time, I see things slowly pulling together. I got a five year journal, you answer a question everyday for a year then there's a spot for the next year's answer and so on so forth. This week I have been focusing on making sure my answers are homicidal and strange, so a few years down the road I'll have something interesting to read... and don't get me started on grandkids! It was $11 on Amazon and I think everyone should get one. I was pushed to buy it when I thought about how strange the PAST five years have been.
Here are some random instagrams from this week!
I finished my GED yesterday. I met some really interesting people in the hour long breaks (there were five hours of breaks total) and it kind of bummed me out that I'll never see them ever again. They inspired me in some ways as well. I'm thinking about doing college online, like, this fall. Rather than waiting. We'll see =)
First apartment.. yikes. I fell in love with a cute little one bedroom carriage house in a mediocre area. Let me rephrase that. I fell in love with a cute little one bedroom carriage house that's slightly out of my budget but I want it more than life and it will let me have a cat but I will be living alone in a high crime area. It's $750 a month plus utilities and internet. Plus I still need house... stuff. I'm going to add more things to my wishlist or more giftcards.
Speaking of being poor, I had to quit camwhoring so I could stay living where I live now, so basically all my income is.. on hold. I've been answering questions on chacha for pocketchange which has actually gotten me by the past week or so! I can't work a real job until after I get my wisdom teeth out.
So everything has been a bit jumbled and frustrating! But for the first time in a long time, I see things slowly pulling together. I got a five year journal, you answer a question everyday for a year then there's a spot for the next year's answer and so on so forth. This week I have been focusing on making sure my answers are homicidal and strange, so a few years down the road I'll have something interesting to read... and don't get me started on grandkids! It was $11 on Amazon and I think everyone should get one. I was pushed to buy it when I thought about how strange the PAST five years have been.
Here are some random instagrams from this week!
Watching the second and third seasons of Pawn Stars while the Sims 3 installs.. yay! I have three job interviews this week, I'm pretty excited. I also might be able to take classes this fall instead of waiting.. we'll see =) A few things have came in from my wishlist so there should be a sexy blog post later this week!
