For somr reason I have such a hard time keeping this journal up to date. Too many websites. Anyway life getting much better. Seeing the lady again a few times a week and I have been very busy with work. It looks like I may actually make it through the winter this year if I'm carefull. Shot two music videos last month and "Starvin" is still on the table at NBC. Still trying to nail down a few shoot for SG. I have some ideas kicking around for cool sets. I've got alot of free time on my hands this weekend. All the rromates are away leaving me sitting around to think too much. I will probrably drag my ass into the studio and do some wor, but too much work! Ick.

I've been a busy beaver this month.

Shot a music video for the upcoming band "Ramallah"...these guys are gonna explode..more contriversal than Rage Against the Machine the band features members of "Blood for Blood".

Prepping to shoot the new "Unseen" video this weekend. I guess they are getting pretty big in the punk music seen.

Also finally finished the edit on Starvin with Louis Episode 3...that is officially releaased tomorrow at www.starvinwithlouis.com.

Whats next? Well I have a few photo shoots in the distant future and maybe finally a real SG shoot? We will see..

I had forgotten how much fun the Model is on a Saturday night! Me and some of the other STL (Starvin with Louis) guys hit "The Model" hard last night chugging PBR's and oogling over the trendy chicks.

You know you're the rowdiest crew in there when you friend stands up on his booth seat Vince Vaughn style and starts yelling at the kids with bike hats on and telling the punker chicks that the loops on pants were meant for belts.


It was a blast!

Spent the weekend shooting the new episode of "Starvin' with Louis". New guest's, action packed scenes, and hurricane force winds! It's gonna be amazing!

I'm also extremely excited because there is a special screening of the new Godzilla movie this week in Boston! I've been a Godzilla nut since I was five and I will finally be able to see one on the big screen. Rumor has it he fights the American CGI version! How cool is that!

Can someone agree with me and say "Hella Cool!?"

Well I saw the cliff. Walked right to the edge and looked down. It would be easy wouldn't it? Jumping would end all the pain. I wish I was weak enough for that. I like my life too much. I love what I do. So my love has left me, got no choice but to face it head on. I've dealt with worse and have room for more scars. I will always love her and respect her, but I have no choice. I've got to let go. She isn't my captive, not my toy. I just wish she was honest.

For all you ladies out there bored in a relationship I can offer a few words of advice.
BE HONEST.
If you look at a guy and are attracted to him go tell your man. Give him a chance to deal with it, to get mad, to fight for you, to leave you. If your love is fading then tell him. I'm sure he notices it too, then decide if its worth fighting for together. Honesty is the one thing that a lover deserves.

If you are going to give your soul to someone you have to be able to trust its keep.

She was never honest with me…and wasn't honest with herself. This had no choice but to destroy us and give birth to a serious doubt in me.

Honest women just do not exist.
Women that are comfortable with themselves are almost extinct.

Our culture has raised insecure and emotionally battered women. This website is home to prime examples. I know a lot of women who would like to blame men for this…but I don't think it's true. Women put a lot of the recent stresses on them selves. They have created this ideal life in their minds that they are always searching for. The live worried that they are missing out on their dreams. Who knows, maybe they are right. Maybe it is true.

I just know that I never wanted to hold her back...be in the way of her greatness. She has so much beauty and untapped potential inside her that will be amazing when found.

I just wanted to be there when it happened. That's selfish I know…but she was there for mine. She caused it. I will love her to my grave for that…for all of this.


I swallow hard, breathe into the cold hollow, and wish her good luck as I turn from the cliff and walk away. Maybe I can making a living writing hallmark cards. "chuckle"

So day one of being alone.

Last night ended it all. She doesn't love me and I can't do anything to change that. So I got to walk away. It's hot as hell out today but I still get the shakes. I know everything that I'm supposed to do it's just hard when I'm alone and my mind has time to wander.

The good news is that I'm back on the market. I won't be so depressive for long…I hope. I know it sounds lame and desperate but if anyone wants to just hang out company would be appreciated.

Thanks for those who have supported me through all this, and thanks for those who stop and listen. I'm not bitter and I'm not gonna drown in my sorrow. I do know that I enjoyed love and I'm gonna miss it.


Mike

The love of my life left me this week.

I'm devastated.

It's a horrible thing when you give your all and it's just not enough.. I try so hard to be mad at her…but I can't.

We had two wonderful years together. I will miss her so much.

Sorry I havent been around...

I've been locked in the edit room for over a week finishing the cut for "I'm Starvin with Louis" Episode 2! The show is fucking hilarious and jam packed with more Ramen recipes and special guests! It should be released to the public next Friday. For those of you who want a link that day just drop me a note!

FOR THOSE OF YOU THAT ASKED HERE IS THE LINK: http://www.starvinwithlouis.com/starvinepisodes.html

So I have been toying with the idea of doing an SG video. I've actually got a fantastic idea that would be both artful and sexy. The question is can I find the right SG? Anyone interested in talking about it?

So yes the rumors are true…WE DID A COOKING SHOW! For those of you who know us the first thing that should come to mind is; Why the fuck would they do a cooking show? Well settle your nerves folks because its not an ordinary cooking show it's more of a tasteless cooking show. See for yourself (I promise lots of laughs)

BTW its hosted by: SECTION8 (SG Member)


SEE THE SHOW HERE!!!