This is a great product, I swear


More cats...



utter comprofoundability


and, remember: Religion starts wars and Star Wars was not made in the kitchen!

I'm on a blood path

Why? My boss sucks eggs from a hamster tube; that is why! For real, as in... I have worked an ENTIRE week while sick AFTER a Hellacious move. On top of this SHIT, we still have no washer, the reverse osmosis is not installed completely, the dish washer needs to be repaired, my boas and lizards are STILL at my old apartment (alongside Fenway's cage) and I need a back massage

WELCOME TO BEING A HOME OWNER

* as a note, I'm not a fan of the cute and cuddly cat and dog ads. But, fucking shit these pictures are funny!




I need some love.

FUCKSHITWHITTARDFUCKFIZZLEBREAKNOSEMOTHERBOARDFACEPLANTERSMACK!


I'm COOL like a potato chip (that is an inside joke for someone )

This is what has happened, thus far:

1. The Move ~

* So, Sunday was the move from HELL


Our driveway is very steep and the previous owners never invested in proper drainage for the property. Needles to say, there was a river of ice awaiting us when we came to our house. A Budget truck in a ditch, $200 in plowing/salting and excavating a truck out of snow are the fun events that our move entailed. 4 hours in, we finally got the truck unloaded... we went for a fucking great meal and porter beer at a nice italian restaurant in Nashua, NH.


we are still moving and packing/unpacking

2. The Job ~

* My boss is a douche. A douche like a fistfuck . That's all I have to say about that.

3. Animales ~

* Scuba Steve is in his new tank. Forest is back home in his tortoise pit. I'm adopting a 4' iguana and an adult hognose snake Friday. I have a box turtle waiting for me to pick up next week. Now, if only I could get my bat...

As always, more posters for your enjoyment!

I'm still alive... I SWEAR!

There needs to be some funny Ha-Ha in this blog.

I'm in transmigration to my new house in the woods of NH! Like, we are talking pine trees in my back yard and shit! And... yes, I did start a sentence with "Like,"

There will be pictures, updates and new stories to tell when I am settled in my new abode. Until, the I will leave you with this: I have a new baby alligator named "Scuba Steve, I'm getting the world's biggest frog in a week and I sleep with a lizard every night... in fact, he is laying on my legs as we speak. We are gay like that

Back to funny Ha-Ha


Serial.

YES! YES! YES!

The update:

1. THE JOB
I went in for my 2nd job interview and it wasn't anything that I was thinking it to be I had fun but this is the low down...
In my first interview, the owner talked to me and explained he was looking for a person to train as a manager and eventually take over his position between a year or 2 years. He wanted someone to take over with a personality rather than a resume orgasm.
Well... he was right. The company sells very nice art that is matted and framed at wholesale pricing. I spent the entire day on my 2nd interview ghosting a manager and we walked into some 30+ businesses and tried to sell art; despite the signs for no soliciting. I hate retail and the amount of rejection in selling art office to office is very high; 9/10.
So... I came to the conclusion that I am going to rough it out at my work: suck it up Buttercup, gather references from loyal customers with their contact information and focus on getting out of debt and then leave work to start my own business.
However, the manager that trained me for the prospective job is pretty hot and I may pursue seeing her

2. THE HOUSE.

FUCK Haverhill and HELLO Hudson, NH! Our house inspection and septic tank inspection went smooth but our water testing results said that the water is not safe for human use. So, the seller is installing an osmosis-something-or-other and we are waiting for the results from the 2nd water test...
Put it this way: I will have an entire basement to myself with a spiral staircase, my OWN fireplace, 2 bedrooms, a central vacuum and a view of the woods from my porch doors/windows.
Yea, fucking TIT!

3. THE SCHOOL
Today was my first day of class and all my students are female . So, I'm in a room with 10 girls teaching lizards and snakes...
So far, my students are very nice and enthusiastic about the course. However, I already found 1 student , who happens to be named Justina, that talks out loud without raising her hand and the other girls are already getting annoyed. I will need to regulate at my next class!

Now, more inspiring pictures

UPDATE: we are NOT getting the house.

HOLYFUCKFISTNUCKLESHITFACESTORMDRAIN!

So, we had an official inspection done and there are too many problems that are environmental violations.
BOTTOM LINE: because we need to close on a house by the end of this month, we are not buying the house and are back to "Let's Make a Deal" with the owner's of the house that we want in NH. It is my favorite house because it is a log cabin style and I would have an ENTIRE floor WITH 2 rooms and a LARGE bathroom and FIREPLACE all to myself...

We will see...

I accomplished a lot today and it was fairly progressive... this was much needed because I have been rather depressed the last few days despite that I'm moving into a house. So, once again... motivational posters jacked from the internets/webs/tubes for you to think about:

Um, yea...

So, it is done... my mom won the bid on a house in Haverhill. The house was inspected by the seller but we are having our own inspector run a clean walk thru and we plan to start schlepping our shit into the house by the end of this month.

This is my new home.


This is a really big deal for me. I have NEVER lived in a house to call HOME. My mom raised me as a single mother and my father remained a single bachelor never buying a house for his own. I have moved from state to state and even street to street in 1 city all my life. I have never had a place of residence that was permanent. However, nice this is right now. I'm still not entirely happy.

I will have to pitch in $400 a month to help my mom and right now it is not feasible for me. If you know my work and how my life has been for the past 6 years, you know that my income is not salary (fluctuates week to week), I have no sick days, no paid vacation, no insurance and no benefits besides a reasonable pay for what I do. This is the PEAK of my work's slow season, I'm 4G's in debt that I'm trying to pay off and I'm REALLY, REALLY unhappy with where my life is each and ever day. Which brings me to my other thoughts...

I went in for the interview and I thought I did really well. I have been working and buying my own shit since I was 15. I know the value of the dollar because everything I own I paid for with blood, sweat and tears. Ironically, I never had to lift a finger for a job. I have had EVERY job thrown at me and offered without requiring any energy in pursuit.

Because I have a job that is not standard 9-5, I cannot give my "new job" a day to come in and do a 2nd interview consisting of ghosting the manager and seeing how operations are done. We left it as I would call today and give them my schedule. I called but the secretary said that everyone was going to be out of town all next week (the owner told me about this in my interview) and asked if I knew my next week's schedule? I told her I don't because it fluctuates from week to week. I told her to have the owner call me and she said it is so hectic that he may not even call before they leave for their work trip. So, I have to wait in limbo for a week and possibly wait to hear from them if they even want me for a 2d interview. I got the feeling I captured the owner's attention and I REALLY want this job. I will not bother writing about until I know I have chance. But... I want the job to start a new life, to leave all the fucking negative energy I have at my present employer's and to begin my OWN business...

Hopefully things will fall into place.

On a much brighter note, I had my first Surfrider Chapter meeting last night and I'm REALLY stoked about my involvement. I'm going to try and set up a platform for us to go into the school systems and give lectures about Surfrider but I'm also planning to join the S.T.O.K.E. program this Summer where we take inner city kids who have never surfed (or seen a beach even!) and bring them to Nahant for the day to learn to surf and explore the area and expose these kids to something they have never seen before. I may also join a program at Spaulding Rehab in Boston where they take kids out to learn to surf and kayak during the late Summer and into the Fall.

I might vote for Ron Paul (despite that most of the people on this site hate him) or Obama. This is why I like Ron Paul


SOME GOOD SHIT FOR ONCE.

I just got back from an interview and I'm already happy. I'm very ready to move on with my life and if you know me well... you know this is something I have wanted for quite awhile. I'm going in for the second interview next week and we will see what happens. Please cross your fingers, stitches, double-joints and paths for me

And I want to meet this girl

If you see her, tell her I'm looking for her

I hope everyone had a good New Year! Here are some motivational posters for you to live by...



My boss is a cocksucker and can eat shit and die
I like boobs.
My tegu sleeps in my bed with me every night.
I want to surf.
My boots and leather jacket are my best clothes.
I want to win the lottery