"So I was thinking to myself when you passed me by, 'Here's what I like.' And you were with somebody else but you can't deny that's me in your eye. Do you know what it's like when it's wrong but it feels so right? Nothing in this world can stop us tonight; I can do what she can do so much better. Nothing in this world can turn out the light. I'm gonna make you feel alright tonight." from Nothing In This World by Paris Hilton.

ungggh i'm a horrible person. i know what we're doing is wrong; he's with her now, not me. but i'm so in love with him and it's not like he's really complaining anymore. i just keep praying he might wake up and realize we shouldn't be sneaking around behind her back; we should be together. unggggggh. xx

"one pill will get me through the day
but I take two anyway
when I take three pills the song begins to play
one that won't go away. And even though I know
one pill will get me through the day
I take two anyway
when I mix four pills with a drink the song starts to play
its in the back of my head and its everywhere
and its all I can think about" from Recovering by Boys Night Out.

for once i have things other than my broken heart to worry about. ungggh fuck finals and fuck running out of study aid. xx

"I love you completely. Please I don't want you to go, though are not content here with me, and you feel you must go. How could I lose you so fast? How come our love did not last? How come I waited my whole lonely life for you, just for you to leave me lonely too? I love you completely." from If You Feel Like You Must Go, Don't Go! by Of Montreal.

so finals are killing me. it's 4:14 am and i'm still up studying. the study aid consumed earlier is wearing off completely. i'm so drained. thank God i have psych tomorrow and then nothing more until thursday. i'm dreading winter break. i hate leaving my uni. i love it here. these people are my real family. and of course, because i can't make one entry with out including him, the song lyrics of course refer to that boy. i really can't get over him. blarggggh. oh well. peace&love. xx

i really wish i was pink. =[

"Now that I've lost everything to you you say you wanna start something new and it's breakin' my heart you're leavin'. Baby, I'm grievin'. But if you wanna leave, take good care. Hope you have a lot of nice things to wear, but then a lot of nice things turn bad out there... Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world; it's hard to get by just upon a smile. Oh, baby, baby, it's a wild world and I'll always remember you like a child, girl." from Wild World originally by Cat Stevens then covered by the cast of Skins.

it's his choice. everything is his choice. wake up boy. realize what we had was amazing. realize you belong with me, not her. it's your choice. peace&love. xx

"Et חa fait mal crois-moi, une lame.Enfoncיe loin dans mon גme. Regarde en toi mךme pas l'ombre d'une larme. Et je saigne encore, je souris א la mort. Tout ce rouge sur mon corps; Je te blesse dans un dernier effort.

(translation: and it hurts, believe me. a blade lodged deep in my heart. look at you, not even the shadow of a tear. and i'm still bleeding. i smile at death. all this red on my body; i wound you in a last effort." from Je Saigne Encore (I'm Still Bleeding) by Kyo. peace&love. xx

"look me in the eye and tell me you dont find me attractive. look me in the heart and tell me you wont go. look me in the eye and promise no love is like our love. look me in the heart and unbreak broken; it wont happen. its love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be real happy and healthy strong and calm. where does the good go? where does the good go?" from "where does the good go" by tegan and sara.

stop fucking breaking my heart you prick.

i still love you. peace&love. xx

so i have a concussion. i passed out in the speech hall. luckily i had already given my speech so that's good. my head is splitting in two and everything is pretty confusing. another note, i can't move on. i'm still in love with my best friend and he's still with his gf. blargggh. and as always, i'm continuing to pray to go pink. wish me luck.
peace&love. xx

rat poison for dinner.
pull the cord from the phone,
i am dining alone...

bleh, bad day. peace&love. xx

if you'll be my boat, i'll be your sea.

peace&love. xx

my body is trying to die.
=[
blargggh.
peace&love. xx