Well...where do I start? I just learned that they've made vibrating panties, for women. That can be operated, via remote control. I seriously believe women are just one more kinky innovation away, having no use for men, whatsoever. I mean you can already practically buy sperm over-the-counter. Now this? One more breakthrough in self pleasing technology, and it's game over, fellas. We'll end up having to microwave a donut, if we wanna get laid.
I've decided to not be bald, anymore. For a number of reasons. One of the main one's being that the cost of being bald is almost as high as getting weekly hair cuts. I ended up needing to shave almost every week. I knew my hair grew fast. But not that fast. Also, women have been telling me that it's not a good look, for me. And enough of them to where I actually started to listen. A friend of mine told me that my head wasn't shaped "weird enough" to justify, going bald. I guess that's sort of a compliment. Right? Oh, and I sliced the shit out of the side of my head shaving it, the last time. So yeah...fuck that noise. If I do start losing my hair, people will just have to turn the other cheek, if they don't like my bald spot. Maybe I can go on the road as a Sherman Hemsley, impersonator.
Me in 40 years ^^
Which brings me to my next question.
Spoiler for your protection.
I've spent most of the month practically rebuilding our apartment. Moving is a pain in the ass. Even when you're just moving shit around, the house. We have gotten rid of a lot of junk, though. Now the place looks almost, like new. I've bought and used enough cleaning products, to build a home made bomb (no offense). I kind of go into a beserker-like frenzy, whenever I start to clean. It has to be done completely and thoroughly. And only done by me. I think I'd make a great match for any girl who's a neat freak. We can compete to see who can make an already white wall, even whiter. She'll lose. Guess I've inherited that OCD, from my grandmother. Who is such a neat freak that I'm starting to believe she's actually afraid of dirt. That is a type of phobia, right?
I did find some awesome stuff though, after going through all those boxes and bags. Like my mint condition Kobe Bryant and Chris Webber, jerseys. I was more excited about finding my Webber jersey. I was a psychotic Kings fan, back in the day. They were a good team, but were always the underdogs. They would come so close to making it, to the finals. Then get beaten by Utah or some other team, with superior talent. I also found my Clippers throwback jersey. From when they were in San Diego. If I can get Chris Paul or Blake Griffin to sign it, then I could sell it on Ebay. And make a killing. I also found my aunts Bob Hope records. Now I know I could make some money, with those.
But the main prize I found, was a brand new tripod. I have a much better camera, to take pictures with now. So I see this as my sign from the gods, that I should start shooting my own sets. Me being a perfectionist, and my imagination,combined with my competitive nature I'm sure I could put out good work. I bombarded Xenah with set ideas, when we talked about her shooting another set, not too long ago. And she was totally on board with my idea to do a Squirrel Girl themed, set. So, any takers? Better catch me now, whilst I'm cheap. lol
This past week or so has been a horrible time for relationships. Especially on here. Almost everyone I talk to, on a semi-regular basis, was either going through a break-up, or already broken up. Even my arch nemesis Hemi_ is having issues. I can't understand for the life of me how guys can screw up, with such great girls. For an assassin, Hemi's a pretty cool chick. I figure the only way you could mess up with her, is if you gave away her position, to the enemy. But the real head scratcher for me, was Lee. How could someone dump, this woman? Have you seen her? If not, take a look.
There hasn't been a single time in this girls life, when she hasn't been ridiculously beautiful. Yes, I know. Beauty is only skin deep. Blah, blah, blah. This chick is gorgeous. Surely you can find a way to make it work. Or you can do what her ex did. And brag about how quickly you found someone else to be with. Not even a month, after you dumped her. Class A move, dude. But to be honest, I guess I can't be too judgemental. Being a realist that I am, I'm pretty sure I'd find some way to screw up, too. Maybe not by cheating. But I'd do something. Maybe accidentally run over her cat, coming out of the garage. Or make inappropriate remarks at a family gathering. I'd do something. Maybe you just have to swim through a river of shit, like Andy Dufresne, before you can hug your Morgan Freeman, at then end of the pipeline.
Well that's all I got for you, my minions, tonight. Tune in next time.
P.S. Oh, and if anyone was wondering if I had earned Hemi's free membership...
Looks like i'm finally gonna have more than 3 minutes to sit and write a new blog. I have been unusually busy, this month. Mostly with work and embarking on another odyssey of enrolling in school. I won't bore anyone with the details. Because I have much more important business to complete here.
About a week ago, I made a deal with the lovely Hemi_ that if I could write a good enough blog praising her an SG Amelinda, that she would reward me with a free membership. Never one to pass up free shit, I quickly agreed. Now I was suppose to have written the praise blog, last Friday. So why did I wait until this Friday, to write it? Because she doesn't own me. That's why. But...I am a man of my word. And a deal's a deal (even though it's probably become null and void, by now).
So without further ado. Hemi and Amelinda:
Lol...I can't believe I just wrote that. I really need to find other ways to pass the time. All jokes and inappropriate racism aside, I love those two crazy kids. Amelinda was the first model to ever acknowledge my presence, in public. Thus giving me the confidence to become the cocky sob that I am, today. And for that, I will forever be grateful. And Hemi...well she's just Asian. And that's all she'll ever need to be. 
Okay, blog complete. I'll be expecting that membership in mail, within the next few days...
I give you...Le Bald
I feel like I just cleansed my soul, of iniquity. And I gotta say, I'm really loving the constant breeze I feel across my skull, now. Should have done this, years ago.
It's the first blog of the month! That's what I was trying to illustrate, with that video. Add the word blog in between first and of, and it works perfectly.
So, did everyone enjoy celebrating the brutal torture, and death of a man, yesterday? Did you have fun with that, you sick bastards? I know I did. I spent the majority of Easter (or as I like to call it, Make Me Feel Guilty Until Christmas Day) watching every Jesus related film ever made, on the classic movie channel. Religious affiliation, be damned. They actually made some good Easter/Jesus related films, back in the day. My favorite is King of Kings. Where Jesus is played by the unrealistically good-looking Jeffrey Hunter.My favorite part is at the end of the movie. Where Jeff's shadow appears and commands the disciples (should disciples be capitalized?) to go out and spread the hypocrisy, to every living creature. I always try to imagine what I would have done, were I in that situation. I'd like to think I'd be the only one to stay behind. And try to ask Jesus a few questions. Before his zombie form takes off into space in order to return to kill me, sometime in the near or far future.
Anywho, I have a question to ask. Since I hate getting haircuts. And am too poor to afford to pay for them, anyway, I've decided that it's time to take drastic measures. So by a show of hands (or bras maybe?
), how many of you think, I would look as sexy, if I were bald? I mean really bald. Like no hair on my face except for my eyebrows, bald. Because I realize that mother nature will only allow me to grow a spotty beard, at best. And I think a goatee makes me look like a dad. I got the clippers charging in the bathroom, as we speak. But I'll wait until all the votes are tallied, before I make my decision. Your thoughts, however smart-assed they may be, are greatly appreciated. What else have I been up to, that no one gives a shit about? Oh, I decided to begin a jogging/slow trot routine, now that it's not so cold that when I go outside, I die. That kind of frigid weather is to be enjoyed with a good book and a bottle of Jack Daniels. Not for jogging. But, I waited too late to go. And anytime after noon is too late to me. Because I hate the sun. Oh well...better luck next Spring.
I applied for enrollment into a community college, last week. I haven't had any success getting into school for the past, oh I don't know, ever? So if it falls threw this time, I won't be giving it anymore chances. Sometimes, you just gotta know when to pussy out. Maybe I'll be able to get a job robbing stagecoaches. Or mining for gold in Silicone Valley. Oh! I could become a professional Facebook troll! I'm good at that. Or so I've been told. I have 97 cents, to my name, as of this morning. I should take a picture of my bank account. And send it to Oprah's Help-A-Brother-Out Program.
That's it.
Maybe I'm looking at this from the wrong angle. If I had a body worth showing off, any type of athletic ability or social skills higher than that of a 6th grader, I wouldn't be so down on the more revealing times of the year. But I'm not. So screw it. I hate you, Spring time. Eat shit and die.
In other news, I posted an epic rant on Bob's latest blog. I promised myself I wouldn't do that anymore. But the issue being discussed was so important, that I couldn't keep my opinions, to myself. You can say whatever you want to say to me about politics, religion, society, or my personal choices and habits. But you don't fuck with my video games. Ever. Especially not, my female characters. I hope she doesn't take me for a completely lunatic, after what I said.
RANDOM HILARITY
I would literally kill myself, if I ever heard him say that, in real life.
I'm afraid I'm gonna run into one of these every night, before bed.
End rant.
But first, please take a moment to pause. And remember the people we've loved and lost, this year...
Moving on, I discovered that I need two things in my life, in order to achieve pure happiness. A dog, and a hog. Hog meaning a motorcycle, of course. I've always wanted a nice Fat Boy Harley. It's the ultimate symbol of anti-social, bad assery. And I am nothing, if not a complete anti-social. Oh, and this brings me to the question I was gonna ask in a previous blog, but forgot to ask. So here it is: Your single and free. I show up at your door one day on my hog and politely demand that you road trip with me to the Sturgis Bike Rally, for the weekend. Do you go? And this is just for the ladies, okay? No way I'm taking a guy to Sturgis. At least not without getting a nice dinner, first. 
I'm loving how I want a motorcycle so bad, but I could barely ride a bicycle in a park without losing my footing on the pedals. Slicing my legs open, as I crash ear first, into a thorn berry bush. I figured I'd last about 6 months to a year before I try and do something physically impossible and give up the ghost, on an interstate highway. What's your prediction?
And I'd be just as bad of a dog owner as I would be as a bike owner. I don't even want to change a diaper. Much less carry around a poop scoop, for an animal that I own. Wtf is that all about? Who's really controlling who, here? I once babysat one of my sisters kids. And waited around for a good hour or so, before I gave in and decided to attempt at a change. Luckily for me (and the poor child), my sis came home. Just in time to prevent me from permanently scaring her son, for life. So what do you think ladies? Sounds like good father material, right? The line starts at the nearest puke bucket...
Maybe I can do what they did on an episode of The Simpsons. Which was cheat and buy an adult dog, that's already been perfectly trained. Nobody would know I didn't put in the work. Except maybe my sister.
Well that's pretty much all I've had swirling around in my brain, since I jealously shat on Valentines Day, in my last blog. Other than still looking for a job, a car and a place of my own. But nobody want's to read about how I suck at life, right? I know I don't. I think my penis has been secretly checking the want ads, for unics, that might want to adopt him. Can't say I blame him, one bit.
And now, what you've all been waiting for. Repetitive, semi-funny memes!
And someone was kind enough to point this one out to me...
Thanks, mom. 
This is that special time of year when couples from all over the country come together to publicly rub their happiness in everyone's face. And when the unfortunate single among us are forced to endure their incessant bragging over gifts received, and witness their inappropriate PDA being displayed at every opportunity. While we who are unlucky enough to be without a better half on this day contemplate taking a kitchen knife to the throat or wrist (whatever your preference), out of sheer loneliness, and depression. Yes, this is a very special day, indeed.
So with that being said...
Why doesn't anyone love me?????
*clears throat* Anyway...here's some random hilarity I've stumbled across that captures the true spirit of this occasion, better than words ever could. Enjoy.
I scrolled through all of those myself after posting them. And I think I just answered my own question...
I don't care what anyone says, Satan kicked Johnny's ass. Fire on the mountain was weak...
So you thought I was actually leaving, huh? Silly SG people. You should know by now that I would never give you the satisfaction! You people are stuck with me. Forever.
I'm especially not leaving knowing what great sets will be coming out, this year. I've already drooled over Brandie and DanaeLynn's awesome sets. These two women have bodies that aren't even constitutional.
I only faked my own death here to see if anyone would actually care if I was gone. And when I came back today, I see that there were only 9 to show remorse at my passing? Nine? Out of 500 people on my list...Fucking nine??!!. I guess that old saying is true. There more friends you get, the fewer you have.
Looks like I'll be starting my spring cleaning a little early, this year...
So be it. From this day forward, you nine shall become my nine.
And as the greatest of the nine, I salute you. And bestow upon you, the Son_of_None seal of approval...
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
v
Congratulations...you passed.
I know...I've got way too much time on my hands.
Well people, the moment has finally arrived. My subscription to SG expires, today. And, after much soul searching, and debate (mostly with myself), that I won't be renewing it again.
It's been a fun 2 years. I've had a lot of laughs, a lot of pointless arguments and some vicious group bans and abrupt departures. But all in all, I can say that the beautiful women that I've met or otherwise drooled over, more than makes up for any drama I may have experienced, during my stay here.
I love SG. And I will miss (most) of you, very much.
So with that being said, I leave you with my last collection of random hilarity.
Final Hilarity
Bet you've never been in this predicament before, have you Hemi_?
This one is still funny as hell to me. So it's earned a second upload.
Like that'll ever happen...
You be easy, SG. Do the best that you can without me here to supervise.
