So Alice In Chains are touring again. Some guy William Duvall is singing in place of Layne Staley.
Way to make yourselves look like all those has beens from the seventies guys. "Who needs the original members? If we play loud enough, noone will even be able to tell that they're gone!!!"

I just read all the ridiculous drunken posts I made last night. :cringe:

It sucks when your weekend is not the weekend. I hate being a downer when people are ready to party.

I don't understand all the unwritten rules that need to be followed in the flirting/courting stage of meeting someone. Mind games are not my strong suit and those fuckin rules are definitely mind games. I'm going to resort to my caveman instincts.

Lately I look like I escaped from an insane asylum. Maybe I did.

I wish I could write while I walked to and from work. My mind goes on these amazing tangents while my body is moving and puts my thoughts together so perfectly. I bet my mom paced a lot while I was in the womb. A lot of what happens to you before you're born affects your life after the cord is cut. I'm also convinced that I'm a nightowl because I was born late at night. Is there anything out there that suggests that humans are nocturnal? I think lots of them are.
Sometimes I feel like the person I was is a small army surrounded by hordes of invaders. The invaders swarm in and are pushed back again and again, each time taking a larger and larger toll of lives. Though the army fights bravely, there seems to be no end to the grim faced, darkly clad assailants that scream their war cries in the night. There will be water if God wills it, and I try to tell my self to keep this in mind but sometimes it's not as comforting as it once was. What if God doesn't will it? What if the last well is dry? What kind of man will I be once I pull my gaze away from those dark, dry depths? Thoughts like these make me shiver.

My aching muscles, my burning eyes, and my cloudy mind have all ganged up on the adrenaline that was coursing through my veins an hour ago. They politely asked him to leave but were met with taunts, threats and disrespect, and so they had no choice but to remove him forcibly. Now that he is gone, SG is much less fun to surf and my bed looks like a shockingly enjoyable alternative. Maybe sleep will make me feel a little more myself.

I can't seem to figure things out. Am I backsliding? Forward sliding? Am I bashing my head against the wall or the wall against my head? In six days I turn 25 and I'm miserably ashamed of how little I've accomplished with my life. I keep telling myself that things will get better but will they? Do I have to see everything I want or need snatched away at the last second?


Fuck you. No one reads this dumb bullshit anyway.

I was going to write a big journal entry about how nervous and excited I am to be going into the recording studio this weekend but it's too nice outside. Instead I'm going to go sit on the deck and enjoy the moonlight.

I came to a shocking and depressing realization recently. I'm the only person I know that is single. Every person that I deal with on a regular basis is in some kind of committed relationship. How depressing is that? And in case you don't know, let me tell you: it's VERY fucking depressing. It feels like I'm out at a restaurant with everyone I know, only i'm the only who doesn't have any money, and sit at an empty place setting drinking water.
I'm becoming more jaded every day, and more unsure of where I am and where I'm going, even though I'm completely sure of who and what I am. Is it possible to be completely sure of yourself as a person and be completely lost as to what your place and purpose in the world is?



PS If I realized I said the same thing in this entry as the last one, I would have put some thought into something else.

It's one hour since I said I was going to bed. Stinking Walmart thread. I'm drunk and sleep deprived and my eyes have been burning (thoug slightly) for two days.

I came to one of the most depressing realizations ever recently. I am the only person I know who is single. Every person I am related to, friends with or work with is in some type of relationship except for me. I'd like to think that this has nothing to do with me and that I'm just waiting for the right one but we both know the truth now don't we?

I saw Soraia tonight. They were so good they almost made me want to get out of the music business. It's shocking how much they know about rock and roll.

Here are some of my favorite Doors lyrics:

"C'mon people, don't ya look so down
You know the rain man's comin' ta town
Change the weather, change your luck
And then he'll teach ya how ta...ffffffffffffffffffff........find yourself"

Please post something entertaining or inspiring. I don't know if I can take much more gloom and doom.

Back from vacation and find that things have changed drastically. Still not sure about the changes. Some are really good, some are not so good. Lots of bugs too. Hope they work them out.
Vacation was great. I don't even remember the last time I had a week where I didn't need to set my alarm. Sleeping in is great. Apparently it was "senior week" in Ocean City while I was there. The place was overrun with vacationing high school seniors. It wasn't as fun as it sounds. Maybe it's the hormones or something that messes with kids brains cuase they seemed all weird. I wish I could say that I was less weird when I was that young but I can't. This kid was a regular weirdo in high school. Not that I'm not now too, but I'm a different kind of weirdo. I think I like the weirdo I am now a little better than the weirdo from before.
Weird vibes were bombarding me every night though. Weird dreams, restlessness, uneasiness. I think it was the full moon.
The crabs were delicious though.