I know it has been a minute. I took a break while I finished up my Probation. I paid everything off and finished my visits but my Cause still says "Pending completion of Probation" when I check the County website. I am told that if the judge doesn't rule anything before the Probation period ends, I am good .

We'll see.

That entire 2 year situation of crap, made me want to leave the County. I love my city and the family/friends/lovers that live here but I sometimes want to get away from the legal hassle. This County is notorious for locking people up, left and right, for the smallest offenses.

On other note, I LOVE THIS TIME OF THE YEAR! MARCH MADNESS! I am a huge Kansas Jayhawks' Mens Bball fan, don't care for the Football team but will cut a mofo over their Bball team lol. I got them, Louisville, Ohio State, and Miami in my Final Four with KU taking the crown, of course. But I will not be shocked if someone else ends up the winner.





The Pretty lady is my First Cousin on my Mother's side. We were outside a Family Dinner after a Funeral for one of my Uncles who lives in Tyler Texas. This was this past Saturday

"While some will say that Black youth -- and so-called minorities -- shouldn't wear certain clothes because of the "stigma" attached to them, we cannot be so small minded as to believe that the clothing of Black males would have stopped them from being hunted, lynched, and murdered all throughout the history of this country."

I'm in another place mentally.

I have 3 older brothers(35, 38, and 42), and 2 older sisters. The girls are the oldest.

My bro, who is 38, text me on the 16th of this month, telling me that the family needs 290 by March 31st or our parents' home will be foreclosed. The other 5 are all married with two incomes. I'm the only single one. So they actually don't need my money, they want me to give them 290. I told him on the 18th that I will let him know by Friday if I can since Friday was payday. My initially thought was no because this is the second time since my father passed(my mom passed in 2000) that no one has kept up with the tax payments and the first time it happened, they expected me to pay the whole tax bill. No asking me to do it, just demanded I do it. I was like no, I don't have the money to do it. So they compromised after I said no.

Fast forward to Friday, he text me at 3:45 pm for my answer. I was still at work and swamped. I left work around 5:30 pm, did some errands. I got home around 6:30 and I get this text from saying;

"U told me to text u on fri about the taxes and now u r ignoring me. I thought we were better than this so now your other bros and sisters have to find a way to pay your half. U aint right for leaving us hanging but obviously u don't give a damn. U r acting like your dad and the way he used to treat mom and the rest of us. I am very disappointed in you. We might lose the house but fuck it as long as u don't have to pay. I GET IT!"

Keep it mind that I never said no, and the other 5 have two incomes, I only have one. I just recently moved 3 weeks or so ago and I still have legal stuff to pay for the remainder of the year which doesn't include them possibly giving me more classes to attend etc.

So I responded with;

"First, I got your text while I was still at work so I hadn't had time to respond. Second, I don't appreciate the last text because a) the day is not over, b) I hadn't said no, and c) you jumping to conclusions without me even responding. I don't give a damn? Come on now. 290 dollars for me, considering all the financial obligations that I have, is not something that I can just pull out of thin air without considering everything else. I said I was going to text you today and I meant it but them last texts were out of line and uncalled for. I'm turning my back on anyone, yall are still my family regardless but the guilt tripping me has to stop."

He goes on to try to blame me for the last time and then after I stopped talking, he wants to compromise. Why not lead with the compromise to begin with? Why come at me all sideways when I haven't even said yay or nay? It is like he, and I know there are others because that is how my siblings roll, immediately got offended because I wasn't immediately gung ho about dropping 290. My sister pulled the same shit the last time...just going to tell me what I am going to do and then when I am like "No", the guilt trip comes and "oh, you don't care about the family blah blah." I am tired of this bullshit. I am tried of them feeling like every time I actually have a brain and not follow them like lil Jr used to do, I am the black sheep. They do the same shit to my other brother, (the 33 year old). The older 4 work as one mind and when they have their mind made up on something, we are supposed to be good little soldiers and not say shit. Yall don't want to include me on monitoring the taxes, none of the Big 4 has come up with a plan to stop this shit, so why should I give a fuck? Yes, it is the home I grew up in and my parents loved it dearly, but my parents also took care of the bills and made sure we didn't lose our property over some bullshit. I have no say in the matter so I am basically leaning towards deuces and let them deal with it by themselves. I really don't get how the 5 of them paying an extra 60 dollars, is the end of the world. 5 people who make more than I do and 5 people who have spouses who also make money.

I had talked to a co-worker about it and my friend girl and was thinking of ways that I can get the money to my brother, but after that shit, right there, I'm leaning towards no. Not just no but hell no.


If it wasn't for my friends, I don't know what I would do. Don't get me wrong, some of my siblings have been there to help when I needed them, but the help comes with a price tag. The price tag is the constant reminder of what was done and I am forever indebted. My mom was never like that, my dad was.

Peace

I pleaded and now have to spend a year on probation. Probation started in January and ends January 2013. I see a dude once a month. I have to pay all kinds of crap, fuck it. I moved back on my own about 2 weeks ago and live pretty much in Downtown Houston aka Inner-Loop. I'm in the Heights/River Oaks area. I am 4 min from my job now, love it!

With my workout/health, I need to tone up my stomach some more. I dig my arms, back, shoulders, and butt/legs. My stomach has always been a trouble spot *tear* lol. I guess I have to add in some more ab workouts.

I took some gym pics a while back...I shall post below





I am still at about 165-175. I have missed the last 3 days of gym. I had my DWI class on Thursday so I didn't go and I was super tired on Wednesday and Friday. I will most definitely go today. I go at least 6 times a week so I can afford to miss a few days to rest. My friend girl says I am obsessed but then she'll ask me if I have been working out or the calories of the food that I eat. I sneak/eat all day at work and she sits in the next cubicle so she can hear me eating. I have the appetite of a fat kid . So I can't afford to go inactive for long periods of time or I'll be back to the way I looked in early 2011.

I am at work right now, raking up OT. I needs the money.

Things are looking up so I aint in no hurry.

I took this recently. Im at or around 165.





I appreciate all the compliments I get from friends, family, co-workers, and the babe . But I feel awkward sometimes when older women will stare or look me up and down lol. I guess that is how women feel .

My DWI case is right now in a "I hope they give me this pre-trial program but I sometimes hope not" phase. I had to take a serious of tests plus drug/alcohol tests plus a breathalyzer test for some probation officer. And then the judge will decide on the 24th if I am going to be in the program or not.

Anywho.....



If I was a stripper, I'd strip to this song

Some people have been saying that I remind them of him. We have similiar smiles, I suppose

"Your face will be the reason I smile,
But I will not see what I cannot have forever.
I will always love ya, I hope you feel the same."





"I'm begging you sugar, have some leniency.
Call the president and ask him baby, to pardon me and bring you back to me
Oh, oh, oh, oh oooooh"

Dang, it has been a month since I last blogged. I've been extremely stressed.
I got 99 problems and a chick is one . My job is the other problem, and I'm still dealing with this legal stuff.
My job is stressing me out because we are moving to a new Customer Service system that will be two systems in one. The customer will call-in a complaint to the 3-1-1 system, they will generate the request for our Division, and then we will handle it in another system. Once we close it out in that system, it will close out the request in the new 3-1-1 system. So yea lol.

They have me taking a lead roll on making sure everyone is ready for the new system. I am not ready lol. But I am confident in my ability to learn it and apply that knowledge to others. I do love that my job depends on me for stuff like that. It'll help me as I transition to another field.

The other problem is just one of those things were two people fall for each other and one is scared that the other doesn't truly love them for who they are so friction occurs. I'll leave it at that lol


'I'm gonna get you if it takes me forever"

My other situation, the DWI, is still on-going. What is really bothering me is that these fuckers(excuse my french), are now trying to keep me from their DIVERT program because when I was 16, I got into trouble. The DIVERT program is a year long program that if I complete successfully, the DWI is not on my record. I rather do that than a trial but I am come to the conclusion that it being on my record wouldn't be as bad as I initially thought. I still don't want it, if I can keep it off of it. Well, I fail to mention to my lawyer about my Juvy record but I did not take into account that they would consider it, since it was 15 years ago. Well we are not appealing their decision to keep me out of the DIVERT program. So we'll see.....keep hope alive

On a positive note, my Alabama Crimson Tide will face LSU tonight in Tuscaloosa. Winner will more than likely be in the BCS Championship, if they don't choke. I am expecting my boyz to pull it out since they will be at home but I will not be surprised if they lose. LSU is a great team. It should shape up to be a great game.





I am work right now...working 6am to 6pm for Overtime .