I'm back from the gym. I started back after about a year and a half hiatus in which I gained back a good 40 pounds of the 140 I lost. I quit out of depression and icky feelings about myself due to the treatment of another. I'm over that though. It took awhile, yes, but one doesn't stitch together a broken heart that easily. Especially a big ole sensitive wussy guy like myself. But it's back together and now it's time to start respecting and valuing myself again.
Step one in that mission is getting rid of the weight that went right back to my gut and jigglethighs. I'm starting slow , but still maintaining a brisk pace. This is my second weekend at it and it feels like old times. The muscle memory is still there and so is the desire to perform.
I don't really have the cheerleading squad like I used to though. Kinda feels like everyone I know IRL has scattered to the wind and gone their own way. Funny how fast that can happen; friends become distant, become acquaintances, become nothing. But on the other hand this time I'l have to be my own cheerleading squad. I think that's good though. I need to finally start rooting for myself.
Step one in that mission is getting rid of the weight that went right back to my gut and jigglethighs. I'm starting slow , but still maintaining a brisk pace. This is my second weekend at it and it feels like old times. The muscle memory is still there and so is the desire to perform.
I don't really have the cheerleading squad like I used to though. Kinda feels like everyone I know IRL has scattered to the wind and gone their own way. Funny how fast that can happen; friends become distant, become acquaintances, become nothing. But on the other hand this time I'l have to be my own cheerleading squad. I think that's good though. I need to finally start rooting for myself.
So I totally entered a meme contest that one of those wacky radio afternoon shows put on. And of course I won. Because I'm hilarious. That being said my prize is four tickets to go see Heart with the Jason Bonham Led Zeppelin Experience. Whatever that is. Not sure exactly how good the tickets are yet but I imagine they'll be pretty swanky since contests rarely give out lawn seats.
If they are good I'll be in a real pickle; go to the show or sell them for a fat wad of cash. The good ones go for a hundred bucks a pop, and given the popularity I could probably go even higher and get takers. And the money would be nice to pay some bills and get things I need. Like new glasses and maybe a new mash tun.
I dunno, we'll see I guess.
If they are good I'll be in a real pickle; go to the show or sell them for a fat wad of cash. The good ones go for a hundred bucks a pop, and given the popularity I could probably go even higher and get takers. And the money would be nice to pay some bills and get things I need. Like new glasses and maybe a new mash tun.
I dunno, we'll see I guess.
I'm tired of the branding of our existence. Coca-Cola brings you this, Bristol Myers Squibb brings you that. It's just everywhere and in all things. I find such things so tiring I want to scream. Or walk out on the present.
I learned how to be funny because it creates obvious physical emotions and reactions. I seem to have difficulty interpreting the other ones. Just kinda figured that out.
2012 is gone. Dead. Expired. And never to return. That's ok, it's how time flows, forever in constant.
It was a tough year. Lots of financial scrambling and plugging of holes to keep the dam in check. Adult decisions were made, mostly in the form of less recreation and more penny pinching. No trip to LA trip, much to my chagrin. I need the experience and the test of ability to cope with being thrown into completely new territory with new people. An important step. It'll happen, somehow. I'm tenacious if nothing else.
I have no idea what 2013 has in store. Beats me. But I go into it knowing that I've been the common denominator of my bad experiences in life. This, I should hope, will allow me to steer in new directions; to take the moment at the fork in the road and reassess my choices. Perhaps I should make different ones. Perhaps not. Consideration will be the focal point.
I'm brewing a lot. Brewing good beer. The kind of stuff that I should hope scores me more medals this season. I think it will, and I'm my worst critic.
My horoscope for the new year was as follows:
"At many points in your life, you have been attracted to the wrong kinds of people. They let you serve them and undervalued your contribution. They pulled rank on you when no rank was earned. That all changes this year."
I hope so folks. I know I'm no special someone deserved of more than others. I just want this,
Peace. Love. Etc.
It was a tough year. Lots of financial scrambling and plugging of holes to keep the dam in check. Adult decisions were made, mostly in the form of less recreation and more penny pinching. No trip to LA trip, much to my chagrin. I need the experience and the test of ability to cope with being thrown into completely new territory with new people. An important step. It'll happen, somehow. I'm tenacious if nothing else.
I have no idea what 2013 has in store. Beats me. But I go into it knowing that I've been the common denominator of my bad experiences in life. This, I should hope, will allow me to steer in new directions; to take the moment at the fork in the road and reassess my choices. Perhaps I should make different ones. Perhaps not. Consideration will be the focal point.
I'm brewing a lot. Brewing good beer. The kind of stuff that I should hope scores me more medals this season. I think it will, and I'm my worst critic.
My horoscope for the new year was as follows:
"At many points in your life, you have been attracted to the wrong kinds of people. They let you serve them and undervalued your contribution. They pulled rank on you when no rank was earned. That all changes this year."
I hope so folks. I know I'm no special someone deserved of more than others. I just want this,
Peace. Love. Etc.
I receivedthe gift certificate during the week; it was for a mere twenty five dollars, but in this year of my life it represented a fortune. It was money I didn't have to budget towards anything. I could literally spend it on anything within the large palace of commerce. I wandered aimlessly to and fro, procuring a few items included in my budget out of force of habit if nothing else. But prior to such frivolity I selected a Christmas card to send to my mother and father. My only family left save my brother and his wife. They remain a satellite to my existence and are another topic all together.
I strolled aimlessly down the aisles, searching for fifteen dollars worth of spontaneity, but found none. I settled on a few beers as to be expected. I made my way to the self checkout, or as I call it god's gift to the socially inept. No fiddling with pleasantries, no interaction, just boop boop it's scanned and time to pay. Gift certificate included I spent one dollar and eleven cents.
Items packed I took my leave of the establishment. Approaching me at some distance was an older woman dressed in a floor length puffy purple coat of a vintage that could only be the late 80's. She strode quickly and fumbled in her clutch. Riffling through her clutch she dug into an ancient snap close wallet change purse combo as she went she accidentally discarded a singular twenty dollar bill. It fluttered to the ground and I tracked it as it went.
I quickened my pace and scooped it from the ground in one deft movement. During the process I briefly considered pocketing it an going about my way. Briefly. Instead I pivoted on my heel and strode with purpose in pursuit of the purple granny. As I gained on her I announced my presence with a simple series of "ma'am's". Once aside her a young man she met with directed her attention to me and I handed her the bill saying "you dropped this". She bleated a shocked thank you and I turned and left. The transaction took no more than few seconds.
I turned immediately and took up my path of exit. I got what I needed on this trip.
I strolled aimlessly down the aisles, searching for fifteen dollars worth of spontaneity, but found none. I settled on a few beers as to be expected. I made my way to the self checkout, or as I call it god's gift to the socially inept. No fiddling with pleasantries, no interaction, just boop boop it's scanned and time to pay. Gift certificate included I spent one dollar and eleven cents.
Items packed I took my leave of the establishment. Approaching me at some distance was an older woman dressed in a floor length puffy purple coat of a vintage that could only be the late 80's. She strode quickly and fumbled in her clutch. Riffling through her clutch she dug into an ancient snap close wallet change purse combo as she went she accidentally discarded a singular twenty dollar bill. It fluttered to the ground and I tracked it as it went.
I quickened my pace and scooped it from the ground in one deft movement. During the process I briefly considered pocketing it an going about my way. Briefly. Instead I pivoted on my heel and strode with purpose in pursuit of the purple granny. As I gained on her I announced my presence with a simple series of "ma'am's". Once aside her a young man she met with directed her attention to me and I handed her the bill saying "you dropped this". She bleated a shocked thank you and I turned and left. The transaction took no more than few seconds.
I turned immediately and took up my path of exit. I got what I needed on this trip.
