"she likes blood. she's a hungarian vampire. she hates germans. but she's oh so fucking cool. she's almost as cool as me. "

"this woman....

beware..

she dips babies in garlic butter and feedsa them to her pit bull...

and she only has one eye... the other is a cosmetic implant..

poor girl... try not to make fun of her about it shes vcery touchy "

"Smuffy is wonderful girl - I love her! < sniff > She is like a solid gold disc! "

"I met this girl Smuffy, while passing by this real seedy building in a bad part of town. She called over to me "Hey buddy, your shoe is untied"

As I bent over to tie it, she pinched my ass and said

RIDE OR DIE MOTHA FUCKA!!!"

"this one time i shoved a smuffy up my ass so the doctor could see it in the x-ray. then i removed it and placed it in the bathroom and people have been brushing their teeth with it and they have no idea that that Smuffy was in my BUM."

"Smuffy is NOT a cosplaying Japanese girl, I'm sorry about that confusion and your inability to deal with sarcasm on a gut level.

Would I say that entertaining a friendship w/ H.R. Smuff & Stuff would be a gross malapropriation of your real-life freetime? Perhaps. Would I say that I had no idea what her gross income is? Maybe, I don't...

Would I say she picks and eats her own snot, YES I WOULD.

~I love you Sumufurii !! <(oO), kirby."

"I can't think of anything gross to write here. So i'll just do this:

fuck shit bollocks twat saggy fanny lips cunt toss wank spray jizz"

"smuffy is such a sweetheart, she was there for me the time my syfalis took my vision and my ability to control my movements from me. it was so embarising not knowing when i would have to go or even be able to find where i need to go but she was there for every lil oopsy daisy mop and sponge in hand!!!

THANX SMUFF!!"

"I want to eat her vaginal discharges.......with a biscuit......... "

"I want to bathe in her golden showers............ "

"What can I say about Smuffy? She wrote a way better note for me than I can probably write for her... and now i see why! Everyone is testifying to her charmed state in the universe! Which must mean she is onto something, or that people are onto how good a friend she can be?? Either way, she will be mine and I will be hers and we will be fabulous together "

"I heart Smuffy.

She keeps pleasantly suprising me with her awesomeness, on all sorts of different levels. I'm glad to call her my friend."

"Look, I don't know what a Smuffy is, well, I know who a Smuffy is, someone who's picked me up when I was down, someone who made me feel a little closer to this mortal coil, someone who I couldn't consider never having met, she's all that and then some, perhaps not tall, perhaps not dark, lets not say handsome, because that's unbefitting a beautiful lass like herself, herSmuffness, she's wonderful, simply Jazz.

My heart is like a bursting fireplane for Smuffy."

"smuffy is too good for any of you. she is the ill-est. she's smart, funny, pretty, knows it, and is still not stuck-up.
i would be stuck up if i where her. she has kicked me out of bad moods. made me laugh. drool, and laugh more.
she says out loud what other girls only think. she is all aces.
your lucky she acknowlages you."