Goodbye 2010

Happy 143 Canada!

My guinea pig Stegasaurus had to be euthanized today. He was eight years old, a respectable age for a guinea pig. He loved hay; he would run under the hay rack while I was filling it so he'd get covered in it. Point is I miss him dreadfully. .

Now that I'm not drinking all the time I have more time to feel lonely. Meeting girls isn't easy in the ipod era. Especially without alcohol to get things rolling... Meh, I'll stop complaining now.

35 days sober today. My how things have changed.

Stable Schedule returns! I'm back to work tomorrow! My life is so boring without work

In and out of psych emergency... cutting again. I've been referred to mood disorders but waits ave 2 months or more... I'm not sure I'll last.

So... I'm trying to quit smoking again. Urge to stab rising. I just have to make it through the long weekend without smoking & I should be normal by the time I need to go back to work. Wish me luck.

"Every Day Is Exactly The Same"

I believe I can see the future
Cause I repeat the same routine
I think I used to have a purpose
But then again
That might have been a dream
I think I used to have a voice
Now I never make a sound
I just do what I've been told
I really don't want them to come around

Oh, no

[Chorus:]
Every day is exactly the same
Every day is exactly the same
There is no love here and there is no pain
Every day is exactly the same

I can feel their eyes are watching
In case I lose myself again
Sometimes I think I'm happy here
Sometimes, yet I still pretend
I can't remember how this got started
But I can tell you exactly how it will end

[Chorus]

I'm writing on a little piece of paper
I'm hoping someday you might find
Well I'll hide it behind something
They won't look behind
I'm still inside here
A little bit comes bleeding through
I wish this could have been any other way
But I just don't know, I don't know what else I can do

[Chorus x2]