Been forver since I have really paid attention to this place. I know, shame on me. Been real busy with work, but things have slowed down alot. Things are good. I think that sums it up nicely.

Well it is a new year. Time for everyone to set new goals, new dreams, new promises.

I think I might care about my job this year. I love what I do. Maybe I should take it a little more serious

I think I will try to be a little more active on here. Wel, more than just looking at the dirty pictures. I remember when I first joined this site. I was almost star struck. Who knows, I might even become a regular in the groups, instead of the random comment from time to time I have became.

I am going to have to start working out again this year. Been awhile since I have had a routine. I hate being out of shape.

I think this year I want to make atleast one new friend. I'm very slow to call someone a friend. Always have been.

I need some advice....

Well here goes. I am dating this girl. I moved to Cincinnati. She wanted to move to cincy as well. We both worked at the same place. It is where I met her. She lost her job. It has been about a month now. She still hasn't found a job. Hasn't really even looked. She sleeps all day. Keeps me up all night. I get no sleep. I am averaging about 3-4 hours a night. She stays up all night watching tv, listening to the radio, or playing on the comp. She has no car, no license for that matter. I am getting tired. The little things are starting to get to me.
She has no problem going thru my paycheck. It is constantly I want this this and this. If I ask if she really needs it, she gets upset. I make okay money, 16 an hour, I can survive great on my own, but I'm not expensive to keep around. With the two of us, with her spending habit...I am barely making it to payday. I've never really been a paycheck to paycheck guy. My truck blew up basically and it drained my savings, that and Christmas. Come payday yesterday, I had $2.00 to my name. With overtime, I bring home almost $900.00 a week. Right now we are living in a motel. It doesn't bother me. I spend $30.00 more for a hotel a week now then I did before in gas before. But at the rate she goes, I will never be able to move out of it.
There are more things then just the job and the money. She is there all day, yet after working from 6am to 6pm, I get to come back to a dirty room, dirty laundry, and someone asking "so where are we going out to eat tonight?" or "What time can we go to Dayton tonight?" She, as we have spent more time together, seems to be a very me me me person. Tonight, I made plans with a friend I haven't seen since Thanksgiving. Made them a week ago, told her. Now, she wants to go out to her mother's tonight because oops, she forgot it was her birthday. She has little respect for my things. I have my work laptop with me. I own it, I just use it for work. Since we have been here, she has downloaded game after game offline, song after song, and installed stupid ass programs. I have explained it is for work several times. I don't mind little things on it, just let me know first. Honestly, who really needs every cd they have with them burned to mp3's when you have no mp3 player? She deleted some of my files by mistake. I re-installed them..and she wonders why I didn't want to give her an admin log-in at first. I am just growing tired of the whole thing.
The best part is...If I end it, she has no where to go. No job, no money, no car. So what do I do? I hate to just go "well good luck bye" I care about her, just not fucking enough it seems. So what should I do, ride it out, hope it gets better or she gets a job, or should I just go, "Well, I'm done, want me to drop you off somewhere?"

I hate wasting time in life...it is the one thing you can never get back.

Well Christmas is over and so it begins...the count down to New Year's... (insert "dun dun dun" noise) No clue as to what I might do this year. No plans set in stone yet.

Been forever and a day since I have wriiten anything on here. Well, I'm working at a plant named OPW now. Not the most advanced machining I have done, but still fun. I work with some decent people. Made a new friend named Michelle. She is a sweetheart. I love new friends.

Getting ready to move back to Cincinnati soon. THe nice hour and 15 minute drive to work is getting to be oh so much fun.

Not much else has really changed. Still single, still bored. Ugh

Been awhile since I rambled on.

I cut my thumb up at work last week, had to get stitches, my thumb is numb now...think I hit a nerve. I can't feel anything on the tip of it. It freaks me out a little...Hope it doesn't stay that way.

Everyone ready for the 4th? Nothing says America like fireworks and cold beer.

Well, my uncle's funeral is in a few hours. It is somewhat confusing. Part of me feels bad because I don't feel sad. He is family and I should feel something. He has never been like family though. Maybe when I was young, but his drug addiction got worse over the years. He stole pills from my grandmother, who would lay in pain, and sometimes even have to buy them illegally because he would take hers and use them or sell them. My grandmother was very close to me while she was alive, and it killed me to see this happen, but she wouldn't let anyone sy anything to him becuase in the end, he was her son. He stole over $3000 from my grandfather. He beat up my car with a hammer while I was out of town. How do you feel sorry and sympathy for someone who has done nothing but try to hurt his family? He died from AIDS. It seems like such a horrible way to die. Yet, part of me says it was his own fault. I didn't want him to die, but it is hard to feel sorrow. does this make me a bad person?

Well, I moved. So far okay. We will see.

Well today is my birthday. I took the day off of work, though I'm not really sure why. Anymore I don't really care for my birthday. It makes me miss my grandmother. She always remembered. She was one of the few, sometimes the only one. It always made me feel so special because he memory wasn't the greatest. She forgot things all the time, but she always remembered me. I've never visited her grave since the funeral. I think I am somewhat scared to. When she died, I never really had time to think about it. I had so much to do, so many people that needed me. I never really greived over her. I had to be strong for everyone else. I had to be the one to tell my cousins. Do you have any idea how hard that is? She was a mother to all of us. I miss her now more then ever.