The Sea of Destruction


I dreamt of a sea, that was so angry and hateful to mankind. It's dark black waters stood high in the sky's and no human could have their beach houses anymore. Most were destroyed and others rotted away.

The sands were a soft pink from the death waters. Sea life that could not survive in these water were spit out their blood mixing with the grimy sand. the stench of death and decay filled the sea air. The gulls flew over the waters they were all gone.

In the begining the people were amazed at this water and the strange creatures she would lay on the shores, Colorful shells that we as humans never thought were possiable, giant rotting starfish and other fish.

But for every "present" she left on her shores, a child a dog would be taken swallowed whole. never to be seen again.

I stood and watched the waves crashing the water's so dark it looked like black ink. Wails of hatred came from her. I was just beyond her reach. I remember in my dream I stood there with my arms crossed and my hair whipping in front of me from the wind and I stared calmly at this Sea of Destruction . I had no fear, For her. I was only curious.

Her waters came closer and I could feel the coldness from it. She let out a horrible scream as I just stood there calm.....

I then woke up, the dream even now is so vivid to me

you've ever been so hung over, you can't even open your eyes? This is how I feel right now. When I got home last night or I guess early this morning. I collapse on my bed with my fur boots on and fully clothes. Every light in my home was left on. This morning I was cursing myself for doing that

I have a urge to watch She-Ra not sure why but I do maybe I'll spend the rest of the day doing that

The sun is coming out witch is good

nothing else to post more later

IT's snowing here in Hick town Pa, and it makes the shitty town look beautiful. Snow does that though. It gives it this peaceful look and feel to places making them look like they should be in a hallmark card or something


I went out last night another night of drinking another night of no sleeping what fun. As I walked out of the bar the snow was falling and even made the crackheads look beautiful.


I was asked to post this pic to a local DJ with a little fan sign. I feel like this is falsehood. I don't know who this guy is.

I hear the plow trucks outside that means the peacefulness will be gone and I will look out to the shithole town I live in



shocked face yup it's not pretty anymore!!!

** okay I need advice***

So I'm digging the cop dude and a couple weeks ago he asked me what my attentions were with him, and I was it sure what I wanted and blah blah blah,
so now I"m digging and nw he's not around a lot ,I told him that I like him and he said he feels the same about me but he was burned in the past really bad and he's not sure if he wants anything seriouse just to have fun. but he want to get to know me better and he just needs time.

Okay I have to respect that but I have this sinking feeling that there's someone else in the pic now, and he does it owe me anything but I"m not going to have "fun" with him I"m better then that. should I stick around or walk away.

I'm not really excited about watching this movie..... I will watch it though because there is a little part of me that wants to see if it's going to be good.

It's hot in my house
I have a puddle of water under my boob from how hot it is. I wish the heat could some how go into my water pipes so I have hot water !!!

Called off work today, my daughter is sick so I'll be spending it on the computer and taking care of her.

This is going to be my new tattoo, okay well not really like this but this same kind of art. I'm in love with these big eye girls lately.

Jan 5, is my birthday big 32 and I'm lonely and bored with my life so nothing really changed. A new year starting and I feel that maybe my life will always be the same.



Here's me out with my new Friend he's a cop. I don't know why I tell people that it 's almost like he has some sorta sickness. and it comes out of my mouth like vomit. so far he's treating me nothing but with respect but we all know about my friends and how I don't pick the best people. lol

Nothing really is going on right now in my life just waking up every day and cursing the fact that it's cold .

Oh yea I have no hot water in my apartment !!!!! it sucks I hate cold showers though it makes my hair shiny .

sorry about the stupid post
kisses

Here's my new ink it's going to be a start of a sleeve I love the colors and the way it pops !!!!

how is everyone though, my mind has been busy only thinking of me? I want to hear about you

last night I hung out with my BFF I have it seen her for two months

tomorrow I"m getting new ink

kisses


write more tomorrow

So Last night I got a text from a number I didn't know

Text: Who's this
me: um I don't know who this is so I'm not telling you
text: Just got a text from this number.
me: I didn't send any text to you I don't know who this is
Text:FRWD the text that they supposely got from my phone, it was sexual in nature
Me: haha I didn't send that but good luck she's sounds hot, though it does sound like something I would text

Time went by and I went for some drinks with friends 4 hrs later the texts started again

Text: nice try Heather, I know what your trying to do, it's not going to work don't text me again!!!
me: um like I said no clue who this is?
Text : really U don't know?
me: I said that ( this point I was drunk and really wondering why this was going on)
Text: It's Aarron, and you need to grow up and stop playing games !! Im not with my ex or any other girl stop texting me!!!

** This is weird to me bc I deleted his number last monday when I find out he was playing me or I felt like he did,
me : I deleted you last week Aaron , I"m not angry at u or hate you I didn't do this,I'm not that kinda person. I respected you and I understand what you need to go thew. I hope you find your peace and I wish you the best.

That was all

I'm sure he didn't read it, but it was crazy how he kept telling me to stop texting him when he was the one that started it. I think he's ex really did a number on him, and I feel bad for him. and I really wish him the best

oops I did it again....


I got a text from you late afternoon, it simply read : Heather I need space, I do like you but it's going too fast and I'm not ready'

I put the phone down and Kinda frowned at it like it was the phone's fault.Of course my first thought was to laugh which I did. Really I knew this was going to happen, NOthing that felt so good and right ever lasts a whirl wind weekend with a amazing guy every thing I was always looking for? yup to good to be true.

The next thing that went threw my head was damn I just go played ! Anger and resentment went threw me hating the penis caring race that I love and hate so much. Sometimes when you get so Angry you cry but I didn't let them fall. They stood on my eyes just making my sight blurry and again I cursed my weakness.
I did what any cool, ass chick would do, I text him back 30 min. Later and told him I understood and thanks for the text message in letting me know. Hoping he understood the lameness in taking the coward way out. I almost felt like I should have gave him a high five or something .

I spent the next hour or so fantasizing he's down fall and how he will realize he's huge mistake in letting me go. And I being the strong female will laugh at him as he kissed my feet begging me for forgiveness .

Then the Text messages came and phone calls, from mutual friends or ours that wanted to show there support in me by bad mouthing him and telling me they knew he was like this and he was such a player.

It got to the point where I felt bad for this guy who needs to take a step away from life and rethink about himself and get new friends. I did what any angry female would do and I text him and told him what he's friends were saying about him. I knew him for such a short time but I knew his insecerties lye in People trashy him.

He sent me a long text saying that he was truly sorry and it is it how he does things and what people are saying are not the truth. His heart belong to another and it was it fair to me and he lied to me about being over his ex.

An ex who messed with his head beat him up, took his money cheated on him and well over all amazing wonderful women to spend 3 years with. And a women to end a great relationship with a nother women that is a good person.

sigh

I understood it to well, and I told him that, I told him it will take time and I'm not angry with him. I told him that I will always be there for him as a friend if he needs to vent or just talk. ( we talked for hours all the time) He told me he really enjoyed my company and I was a cool girl. I laughed and replied that he should remember that and don't let me slip threw the cracks of life because I make a good friend and he needs a good friend.

I didn't hear from him after that.Maybe he did play me? Maybe he's so messed up by his ex. I don't know,

All I feel now is sadness and feeling stupid that I let this happen, that he was everything I wanted but it was it real and it was a illusion on both are parts.

sigh

Oops I did it again

It's been too long, every body. and I'm so sorry for that, I've been making some new friends and lets see making bad choices but growing up in the process as well.



growing up is a scary thing even if you should have done it about 14 years ago.


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Here's a video of my friend giving us women advice on our bodies !!!!

How is everyone else!!