A big blog of nothing,

For once I would like someone to come up to me and ask me How I"m doing...... I think this is the biggest thing I wish for.
A big blog of nothing
the big thing is ... Is that I feel like nothing and it's a horrible feeling, I hope I've never made anyone feel this way.

A month ago my BFF was killed and she will not be in this life anymore, her daughter will grow up with out a mother and father, Because her father killed my best friend. I feel selfish for being sad , I feel bad for being mad that my "friends' here don't ask if I"m ok. But really it does it matter if I'm okay right? Because there's a 7 year old with out a mother

My one "friend" needs help paying fines or he's going to jail. I've been to jail and It's not a cool place. I told him I would help him. I can't pay my rent,,but since I told him I would help him, he's talked to me every day.and he acts so interested in what I have to say. I use to talk to my bff every day. I miss her and I'm so lonely

My other "friend" use to tell me his life story, use to love how easy I was to talk to, use to search out my conversations. Now he forgets to return my texts, emails, phone calls, and acts like he does it know me. Actually he's said that, "you and I don't know each other" I asked him if something happen if I said something wrong and he tells me he's just busy. He forgets when I invite him to do things to let me know if he's going.

My other "friend" who I use to talk to all the time as well and said I was a cool ass chick, just stopped as well as returning emails ect.... When asked ... because I'm honest... I was told that my grammar and spelling is really hard to understand what I'm trying to get across. When we do talk every know and then it's about what he's going threw, and if I mention something about me or whatever, it gets completely ignored. Hence the big nothing blog.

I just want to be myself again because of all this I get really insecure when it comes to them.

I just want to stop feeling this way, I want to be that cool ass chick that everyone else thinks I am and I know I am but I can't stop this yuck insecurity that I have . I just want some one I can talk to....

Pathetic huh ?

I want my coffee to come with cute sayings in the foam.... I think that would be cool

but more importantly I want my coffee to come in this mug



It's sunny today, I'm not going to say it's warm. but the sun is out.

Yesterday I realized that, some of my friends Just are not that into me. Which I think is a funny way to put it.
Here's the story :

I got tickets to this show, my one friend would love this band because it's his kinda music. So I invited him. He works a lot and I told him to let me know. 2 days before the show I text him and asked him if he had to work and if he was going to go. He forgot all about it and told me so.

Okay so he forgot it happens, but it always happens, he always forgets to do what he says he's going to do when it comes to me. He always says he's going to text me and he never does. I'm pretty much done. I think I have different views on friendship, I don't like to use people, but I feel like that's what friendship means to people.

I gave some idea's to my tattoo artist and he's going to draw up some pics for my sleeve. I just want this to be done !!!!

Last day off and then work tomorrow gross....

I'm so hungry !!!

that's it for now

Good Day SG Land !!!!!

It finally stopped raining, though it's still gloomy and dark out. I wish the sun would just come out and spring would just get here!!!

I want these they are so cute:


are they not the cutest thing ever!!!

My new advice I'm following :



I hate my hair I can't do anything with it!!! It's a shag and I loved it when I first got it but I can't style it. sigh
I got it cut a week ago today. sigh,

Artwork for today :



Brian M.Viveros check him out and he has a Fan page on facebook.

Today I'm working on trying to weed out those users that some how I let in my life. Who's fault is this of course mine. I feel that I lost myself



knees are so much better today... I feel happy about that

well hope everyone else is well

Here's a pic of me at my dinner party. I hate my hair Some where My cool rock star hair that I loved turned into Soccer mom. sigh

But my dinner party went well I believe here's some pics...







Great fun.....

artwork I'm looking at



I love the work of this artist !!! Gianluca Mattia check out the other works

What I'm listening too:



well I hope everyone is doing great

Another Night of not sleeping, Just tossing and turning looking at the clock a couple times a hour. Hate sleepless nights, if shows that my days are going to be filled with mistakes and upsets.

So Yesterday I got this email from a friend of mine : "not to bring up a sore subject for u or anything but u make it really difficult to interpret correctly what ur trying to say when ur messages lack spelling, grammar, and punctuation, sorry... ".....

and Yeah I got my feelings hurt, I think it's the best to always be honest with People and tell them how it is,, but I feel like he snubbed me here . Maybe I'm being insensitive and I should take blame on the fact that I just don't care about my grammar and such matters. ( I actually got A's in English) but I guess I do care since my feelings got hurt. I care because I don't go around and point out everyone's faults in Life, I have that done to me way to much and I don't think it's fair... I thanked him for being honest and for letting me know why he rarely returned my emails.

which I didn't get a reply from....

Artwork I'm looking at :



Amy Sol is really a great artist check out her other work.

Tomorrow I'm making ribs for my friends and yes I'm very nervous very nervous. I spent way to much money on my ribs and I have nothing left for sides, except maybe mash and green beans.... sigh I hope it goes well

music I"m listening to


What I"m watching on Youtube :



I'm in love with this Cinnamon coffee Yummy

well off to my shitty I mean wonderful job....

I awoke up at 4 am this morning to so much anxiety. Today I have a huge chip on my shoulder!!! and I don't know even where to start on it

Things that annoy me right now:

1. People who use People
2. liars
3. Girls that make kissing faces in photo's
4. spray tans
5. People in Relationships.

Okay I get that these are all my issues in being swept aside by men for women who love to tan and make Kissing faces and that shop at famous Mall stores. Right now I'm cringing bc this really is not me.

On a happy note though I'm drinking yummy coffee that has Cinnamon in it thank you Branden for the idea !!!

Last night I was asked to go out for boys night with the boys. Because I'm always going to be looked at like one of the guys..... Thanks



artwork I"m looking at milk great stuff

music I'm loving :

she has a very beautiful voice

hopefully I can find my balance today...

Hey SG Peeps, It's another beautiful day, in bumfuck pa !!!! Just getting off work at a crappy job that I don't like. Story of many people in the world I know. I'm house sitting for Aunt for almost a month which I'm happy about I have a lot more space , hot water and food in my fridge.

I'm afraid to wash my hair I'm afraid that once I do, i won't be able to style it... lol I'm very clueless when It comes to being girly and doing hair and makeup



I love this persons tattoo

I"m really having a hard time in thinking what I should do with my sleeve I have started blah why is this so hard!!!
Not a lot going on right now write more later

I got my hair cut yesterday, I really like it!!! I was very nervous when she was doing it bc it's so different then what I'm use to and I'm very picky.
Feeling a lot better today still a little tired and a little pale, but doing okay

Today I have to fit in 3 days of work into one day so much shit to do it's not funny... but here I sit on the computer like I have all the time in the world.

I'm house sitting for my aunt and I have it even packed for it ha, She's taking me grocery shopping and I have to get stuff for my rib party on saturday. Which I think it's sorta funny, Me the Vegan serving up ribs, sigh I feel like a traitor


Here's a funny video lol or I think it's funny, I think I look fat, I know I"m not fat but I look fat lol

I"m looking at this artist



Candybird

I love her too
Her artwork is so dark and cute and makes me smile

I hope your enjoying these artist I want to open people's doors a little bit and show them what is out there it the world. Just what I do

I hear that there's a new Johnny Depp Movie coming out Rum diary's which I can't wait to see, Love him but also I've read the book and loved it


well hope everyone has a wonderful day and I hope I hear from you all
kisses

Good Morning SG, Today I'm sick ... So my NYC trip was canceled, and I was suppose to meet with a good friend of mine that is amazing photographer, to see if I could make my dreams come true about becoming PInk.

When I say sick I'm talking about seizures and I had a woozy one that my friend that was driving did not feel like it was a good of me to still go. I was angry with him but I know now that he's right. Sometimes when I get seizures I get these horrible headaches that my doc says are called Ticks it actually feels like my brain is moving in my head, it's really not but that's what it feels like

So today is going to be filled with looking at this

Natalie Shue she is amazing artist become a fan on facebook her work is wonderful!!!

I will be playing these games today as well :

Robot Unicorn

and WarHammer

My dark elf is very hot....

So if anyone is bored Please talk to me because I'm going to be bored all day and it's nice here so I can't go enjoy the weather or anything
kisses

I love this pic!!!

Last night I want and watched Alice in Wonderland with pawko4b, it was his treat since I"m so very poor right now. I really enjoyed the movie and we say it in 3D as well which was very good !!!
I couldn't take my eyes off the screen. Why is it always so cold in the movies, I was shivering and my nipps were hard haha


I want one of these, Vanilla bourbon it sounds so yummy !!!

Today I called off work, which yes I will be getting written up for my knees are huge softballs and I'm in so much pain. but I can't keep working on them and ruining them more, People call off for being hungover I always go to work. Though my shitty boss hung up on me after I told her really gets me mad

It's actually sunny today and I hear warm though I won't be able to do anything bc of my legs this is really exciting for me. tired of this cold fucking weather.



3D glasses are just way cool



this is my shadow and I thought it was cool

have a great day