What the heck I've been doing!!!!

Gosh, where to start....I have no idea, I want to say I've been hiding hiding away from the world, and everything it has to offer....



I've been hanging out with friends, and just trying to find same damn peace inside of me.... 2010 has kicked me in the arse! Taught me many things and has proved to me that hell I keep going !!!!



also these have helped big time... I love these Mango mohitto's don't know how to spell them at all...



I got a new kitten a bangle who is hell but I love the little fucker....

I've been cooking and reading and Screaming at myself, I've been walking around figure out what the hell I'm doing .....Yeah miss everyone

yeah yeah I know I've been hiding!!! Miss everyone








Here's some photo's of what I've been doing I will write more soon a huge pot of chili is screaming for me to eat it

so here's my new ink!! ♥3♥♥ I love it

Why has no one been writing me!!! I've been really shocked that I have not got any letters

how is everyone doing

ugh this whole not having internet is really putting a damper on my blogging! I of course have been getting a lot of stuff done as well, but I have so much to catch up on!. got to get caught up on my reading of my favorite blogs.

I finally got my heat turn on...After begging my landlord and pleading to him he turned it on. Economy has been hard on everyone. This is why I'm gratefull for having a job, and getting a paycheck every single week. I am very grateful for this.

What are you grateful for?

I've been dealing with a lot of negativaty from people. I know that deep down it's their own problems with themselves but I don't see why peeps have to put me down to make them look better. Work on you how about that. I'm going to keep smiling and just show how strong I really am. Wish me luck on that lol..

Tomorow i"m going to go have sushi with a friend who is so dear to me he's like a uncle, I've secluded myself for the past two weeks and now it's time to get out their and enjoy my life again. I think that sounds amazing and wonderful.

This week I've been working on staying positive and not getting sucked into the gossip that's been going around I'm better then that I think lol no I know


so since I'm never on anymore because of no internet why don't you guys write me!!!

Heather Roden
P.O. box 153
New kingstown Pa 17072

Ok so now I just typed out twice a blog on here and it's not posting FML I'm going to bed

Regret of the night: not asking that guy where he got his "Cocaine Blows" t-shirt.

I'm sure who said this but it made me laugh, I need a laugh right now, I was asked to hang out with my best friend of all time who I have not seen for months, and she just found out she was prego's and she wanted to hang out with me and so we could be happy....I had to bail on her because I had plans with the sperm donor and his girlfriend who I adore. We're trying to work everything out, The girlfriend got very upset and needed someone to talk to so she came over my house before him. We hang out and talk all the time.

Well Sperm donor got really mad about this... I only asked him to Please not get mad at her and were just talking , He told me to stay out of their relationship!!! and it was none of my business. He then told us he was going to a party and not coming over like he planned....

The girlfriend talked him into coming saying we had to work on our problems ( him and I) the moment he got their I stopped laughing and didn't have fun. when he spoke to me to spoke as if I was a big fat nothing and said Fuck a lot,to me. Today I awoke feeling that today was the day I was not going to lose my cool with him, that I needed to let him go threw what he needed to go threw....Just because I think one way is right does not mean it's right for him. I made a promise to myself and I let him speak to me the way he did. He complained about how now his night was ruined and he wanted to go to this party. I said my goodnight then. And the gf was like why you have to be a work early? I said " we can just say that , my night got messed up for my choices" I left them sitting on my porch and turned all the lights out.

I deleted both their numbers..I'm done I can't anymore, everyone has their own choices in life, I'm not going to follow their choices..I have a choice to walk away from this though they will take me to court then so be it. I tried with them.. lol that's wrong I'm saying them and really it should just be him..

He can't follow threw or finish anything out, he speaks his mind and degrades me but I let him NO MORE..sorry for this ugly blog of my sadness...this is my time to work on me

I did nothing at all this weekend but sat and thought about what I got my self into. I think Its funny how these last 8 months everyone told me to walk away from him and let him realize what he was missing by not being their for his child. I held on to my faith with him in to one day it was gone and I just didn't care anymore. This is the day that he decided to take me to court.

I'm sick of talking about it....

He has never followed threw with anything and never dealt with his actions. Even now he has pushed me to his mama to deal with me while he's running around with his girlfriend, and friends, Leaving a life that I miss because I wanted him so bad in his childs life..... funny how that works!

Today I'm going to be lame and sit and play some Facebook games on my computer ha yes yes I know Lame! I have it found any good books to read so if anyone has any idea's of some please please let me know!!!, I feel like my mind is going, that's all for now wish I had something more interesting to type about

so not only have I just got myself in a huge bit of fucked situation, to the point that I have to do something against my will. Which for the last 8 months I've been doing what everyone else wanted me to,my hair is slowly falling out. Which it looks that I might be one of those lucky ones that won't lose my hair completely but I'm still not happy about it!

So sperm donor is taking me to court for the test! and boy does this get me so fucking mad! I denied him the DNA test due to him not showing up for the test for 8 months!!! I had enough of waiting around and now he's ready and wants the test so I saw no and he takes me to court...I feel so betrayed and I feel so sick that he's doing this he's talking to me like I'm the worst enemy ever. that I destroyed him and his whole family, he's saying things to me like this test needs to happen... i look at him like he's a freak , when yes this test should have happened 8 months ago!! how dare he turn it around and make me look bad..


this was us just last friday!!! we actually were getting along, and today I can't even look at him with out feeling betrayed. so many people are like just do the test Heather. WHAT you kidding me, he walked away for 8 months and now that he's ready I'm forced into it....and made to seem like it's all me. I asked if we can wait into after my chemo and that's a big fat NO, I have to much on my plate right now to much....sigh I don't know what to do

Okay so this post is going to be short and to the point... I had to get a new Facebook because mine got eleted!!!

so here it is friend me and put from SG so I kno
My Facebook
myfacebook

It's been a month all ready since my last blog post!! so sorry Sg I will try to do better ♥


Got my hair done..which I love it ♥

trying to work things out with sperm donor, and yes he needs to prove to me he's not going to bolt from his daughters life


Hanging out with friends

Lots of friends

drinking big drinks ♥

Did a fashion show which I had a lot of fun


So yeah a lot has been going on in my world!! how about all of yours