i think 8 months is a good time span between new posts... the site's got a new look, now i cant find anything and im too lazy to figure it out.

lets seeeeeee.. whats new? i love my job.. i work from home, yay! now if i could only figure out a way to use my laptop.. oh yeah, i got a brand spankin new laptop, its a macbook and i love it. i never thought i would say that about a mac so yeah, i need to figure out a way to use my laptop and not get carpal tunnel (which is already happening)... stupid wrist angle. i was in new york for three weeks in september.. got to see my sisters and my mommy and daddy i love them. and it was great to be in new york.. i miss it. i got netflix, so far it rocks. we just watched shaun of the dead, it definitely rocked. im so glad zombies are slow again. MST3K is coming next.. YAY!
i think most of the movies on my queue are MST3K.. damn i love that show.. even the mike episodes. im having surgery at the end of the month.. the ovary that ate rachel has struck again. turns out ive been carrying around a cyst the size of a large cantaloupe for the better part of this year. no wonder i had to buy all new pants.. how the hell do i get rid of that annoying paragraph about me at the top of the page? i think i should change my picture.. im sick of that one.

thats all for now....

i wanna marry my chiropractor, he does such wonderful things... im never here......i drove in baby hail today, it was sunny... --- i should be paying the bills right now... --- i should quit smoking but i love it so much.. (time to smoke) ...........................................................................................
damn, i got final jeopardy wrong.. i love my job but it has too much cat and dog hair........ i cant decide whether i want to get a second bachelors degree or go back to school for massage therapy.... i miss my sisters..... im most productive at night but i have to work at 8am so i keep fucking up my productivity by sleeping... i love my bed... wow, the tv is waaaay too loud good thing noise isnt here.. i like noise, hes cute.... people on wheel of fortune are stupid.

IN YOUR FACE TOM BRADY
IN YOUR STUPID DUMB PRETTY BOY FACE!!!!!



***CURRENT READING LIST***


DNA: The Secret of Life - James D. Watson

Green Witchcraft - Ann Moura

On Language: Language and Responsibility / Reflections on Language - Noam Chomsky (classic works)

The Da Vinci Cod: A Fishy Parody - Don Brine (a.k.a. Adam Roberts, Professor of 19th c Lit @ London Univ.)

The Mind and the Brain: Neuroplasticity and the Power of Mental Force - Jeffrey M. Schwartz, MD & Sharon Begley

The Snow Garden - Chris Rice (DONE)

Mind Wide Open - Steven Johnson

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban - JK Rowling

Pedagogy of the Oppressed - Paulo Freire


---------- now if i could only stick to reading one book at a time, mabye i might finish one.
my brain must be so starved for intellectual stimulation that im just throwing everything at it.... which is kinda fun.

big stupid dumb hurricane.

<been staring at the screen for like 5 minutes... there doesnt seem to be anything else to say>

dammit.. i just wrote a whole bunch of shit and the page just closed and its gone.. whatever.
so here is a summary:
- ive been gone a long time
- im not really back now
- moving and money have caused a serious deficiency in internet time for sintantrix and prophetnoise
- i am back in school (studying massage)
- i am busy as all hell
- some rant about hell that i am not going to try to repeat.. main point: i dont believe in it.
- i will be online periodically due to internet access @ school
- if you have my cell#, use it!!!
- i love you all and miss you much!!

i think the deleted entry was much better, but honestly i really dont have time to care.

-r

in honor of my birthday and since i am in an absolutely ridiculous bad mood i am posting the birthday poem i wrote for myself in '96.... plus a few more just for fun.. yeah fun. definately having random violent thoughts alot for the past 3 days.. not normal, i am usually filled with glee the week before my birthday.. chalk it up to pms and stress.



HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HONEY

Chaos is familiar to my thoughts
Pulling me out of stasis.

Form the chimes of beginning
Stand at the helm.
Cruise on open sea ‘til the winds blows clear my mind.
Strike back tall palms
Reveal and discover.

To scream and rant
Make big spectacles of movement
that is how I feel
I want to run - free of all
answering to none, full and complete in myself.

*******************

Fractured senses crammed with thyme and season
Suction sensation pulling my tremors back
White flames steal the oxygen from my psyche
Granite and slate play their shifting games on top of me
Severe and molten, the flow leaves no mark

Suck magma through a straw
Smile and beg for more
Smooth façade belies torture

********************

UNTITLED

the freeze on my smile spins silent across my lips
as I fold my feelings inward I see that I am small
tucked in a corner, separate from all

i have none of the full and perfect
as a fleeting shiver slides between my shoulders.

*********************

FAIRY RINGS

I cant catch them
bright and flowing
a tongue between my teeth
so damn them bright and flowing
only biting is relief

***********************

POPPIES

I stand in the company of trembling flowers, a candle burns hot to light my eyes
Quicksilver tongue for any sane thought, try for the slide but come up short,
can the whole thing, begin in the dark.
Falling for destiny
A plunge to the right – or maybe the left or wrong or blind.
Damn further yearning, be tall and proud
No shimmering jewel (elusive and deceiving)
Lost here in the meadow.
To touch it but once
To know who fell before me.

************************

SAND STORMS

Tears and raindrops mix on my cheek
A slow burning flame gathers at my feet
Force of a storm builds in my hand
My eyes open wide to the heat.
Here I have waited, heart filled with sand
While the forest grew tall behind me
Cradled by wind, caressed by the rain
But always my soul was empty.

Then the song that tempts my voice came slowly to my ears,
Carried on lips soft as butterfly wings.

High on this peak I watch as you climb
Singing sweetly to yourself.
On my knees with a sigh
Fear finally subsides
Your hand reaches up taking mine.
Cradled by your strength, caressed by your smile
As your tears mix with mine on my cheek.

**********************

THE WAKING SOUND

Sometimes in my calm
a waking sound will come
Throwing rocks into my mind,
rippling my ancient pool.

Sounding far and rhythmic
A steady droning din

I forego the ritual detachment
Put an answer to the call.

With words to sway and conjure
A toning bell is rung

Thoughts are formed by wisdom
The waking sound has come.

****************

alright.. thats enough of my mindless drivel.. time to put on a happy face

******* CHECK THIS SHIT OUT.. ITS CRAZY, I LOVE IT! *******

http://www.eviltree.de/zoomquilt/zoom.htm

it might take a minute to load.. but its worth it

***************************************************************


my outer appearance is my favorite accesory

******* CHECK THIS SHIT OUT.. ITS CRAZY, I LOVE IT! *******

http://www.eviltree.de/zoomquilt/zoom.htm

it might take a minute to load.. but its worth it

***********

well.. i must say, i was lookin for some drunken stupid fun and i definately found it last thursday nite. yay!
although alot of it is pretty blurry in my brain i do remember walking around alot and drinking alot.. and mixing liquor and beer, which is probably why there are the blurry parts.
what i will definatley not forget is stumbling in my platforms over parikhan's shoes at my apartment and thinking in my alcohol addled brain that the best thing to do was to change into sturdier platforms and go back out. bad idea. woke up with a quite swollen, not really working ankle and a killer hangover. silly me. but whatever, im a slave to fashion.
parikhan - i had a nice giggle when i found your rum-mate in my kitchen
right now im feelin pretty fine... xanax, vicodin and rolling rock have seen to that
gotta work at 5:30am so i should be gettin off to speepy land (hee hee... i mean sleepy land... hee heee heee.. )
yummy hugs and kisses to all...

noise is making his super yummy best ever pasta sauce, it cooks for like 6 hours so i wont be up to eat it tonight but he is making alot, so if anybody feels like coming over for some dinner early this week.. let us know.

damn.. y'know.. im really not good at this journal thing (thank you noise)
my last entry was over a month ago and it seems like just yesterday. time just works differently in my brain i guess, my personality craves instant gratification like a phone conversation or a meeting in person. im usually not at the computer when i feel the need to convey interesting/profound/stupid/fun things... unlike noise who spends many an hour typing lots of stuff.. i guess i should be thankful that he has an outlet besides me..
whatever.... time for more beer.



oh yeah.. i almost forgot.. i can finally go to eighties night this thursday, (hopefully noise will be around cause we havent been able to go together for a while and its fun and stuff) but i am definately going and i heard that some SG people were possibly going so if you are one of those people leave me a message... i promise to check my comments in the next 2 days....
that is all.