*yawn* i always have the worst time getting out of bed on saturday. but here i am, pumping away at the keyboard. well ok. i'm supposed to be pounding out a draft of a paper. but i figure i made it to the laptop and it's only 10am. fuck. i'm already ahead of the game hehehehe ....
for anyone who wants to know (and hey, who WOULDN'T?) - i'm recently started up good old aol instant messager again. you can find me at the moniker of RubberQuartz. dont ask what the name means - it means squat. i just got the word quartz from the book 'city of quartz' by mike davis - and i thought rubber would sound funny in front of it
anyway. not sure how much i'll be on aol im. (i miss the wacky days of high school - nearly a deacade ago now!!!! - when i was online EVERY NITE, bouncing from chat rooms to message boards to local bbs'es .... good times good times). but i'll be around. so drop me a line.
** yesterday i missed the ups man! so i didn't get my digital cam. but i had a nice long lunch w/friends, and so that was fun. had a nice evening at home last nite. went to the grocery store - bought all junk food. and the rest is just details.
have a good weekend all!
for anyone who wants to know (and hey, who WOULDN'T?) - i'm recently started up good old aol instant messager again. you can find me at the moniker of RubberQuartz. dont ask what the name means - it means squat. i just got the word quartz from the book 'city of quartz' by mike davis - and i thought rubber would sound funny in front of it
anyway. not sure how much i'll be on aol im. (i miss the wacky days of high school - nearly a deacade ago now!!!! - when i was online EVERY NITE, bouncing from chat rooms to message boards to local bbs'es .... good times good times). but i'll be around. so drop me a line.
** yesterday i missed the ups man! so i didn't get my digital cam. but i had a nice long lunch w/friends, and so that was fun. had a nice evening at home last nite. went to the grocery store - bought all junk food. and the rest is just details.
have a good weekend all!
i have to write this paper on marx and the jewish question. i really had not looked seriously at this text before. but i've read it twice in the last couple of days, and sat through a lecture on it. and this is a really messed up essay.
i like my main man karl. i dig his commitment to social justice. i admire his brilliance - the manner in which marx turns hegel on his head, marx's brilliant analysis of the logic of capital & his critques of capital (alienation, controlling social/cultural/political life for its own ends, exploitation, dangers of capital), and the way he really essentially gives birth to modern critical thought are all groovy.
but this essay is INSANE.
marx's goal in "on the jewish question" is to go after capitalism. fine. but he does so in the most backward way. he argues the problem w/the world is that in civil society we're all splintered from one another. so he wants us to achieve unity - to realize our true interconnection. so we have to get rid of what divides us. marx says: it's judaism! so we need to get rid of that! okaaaaay karl.... how do we do that? well, playing off some loose historical facts & stereotypes, marx argues that most jews are secular jews - and the basis of the secular jewish religion is "haggling" and money making. in fact, this spirit has even corrupted christianity. SO. we get rid of capitalism - get rid of judaism - and we get a happy civil society.
that is messed up. that is the most backwards way of going after capital. as my professor suggested - it's not even an *argument.* marx responded to an essay by bauer, but totally turned it to his own concerns w/capital, and in the process spits out this anti-semitic bizarre...thing ....
i think, though, there is some logic here. marx isn't dumb - and he's just not playing off anti-semitism for political gain. i think he focuses on judaism for two reasons:
1. it suggests the problem of capital & the division of civil society is NOT inherent in the german people - it is the characteristic of an outsider. therefore, there is a chance to *purge* (not through violence necessarily, but perhaps conversion of some type - which is still problematic) this element from society.
2. related to the first point - using judaism as a trope suggests there is a chance for progress. while building off prejudices, by focusing on judaism as the problem marx is able to suggest "hey we all know there is a way out of judaism right? - it's called *christianity.*" obviously, this assumes a (wrongheaded) notion that christianity is the (natural?) progression from judaism; christianity is a better, more advanced form of religion is the assumption. by identifying the problem of capital w/judaism, marx is arguing covertly: there is something BEYOND capital & it is BETTER
that's what i think right now. that's still pretty incohate i know ... but it's where i'm going...
** in other news, it's friday & things are good. did good work on the stats paper yesterday. the end is weak - but that hard part is done (first draft) & this weekend is all about editing. futher good news - the stats paper is now due the 19th not the 12th! woot!
and now the weekend is upon us ... i'm writing another paper (on the marx stuff above), editing, and doing some reading.
anyone out there going to have fun? it so - have some for me!!!!!
later on!
i like my main man karl. i dig his commitment to social justice. i admire his brilliance - the manner in which marx turns hegel on his head, marx's brilliant analysis of the logic of capital & his critques of capital (alienation, controlling social/cultural/political life for its own ends, exploitation, dangers of capital), and the way he really essentially gives birth to modern critical thought are all groovy.
but this essay is INSANE.
marx's goal in "on the jewish question" is to go after capitalism. fine. but he does so in the most backward way. he argues the problem w/the world is that in civil society we're all splintered from one another. so he wants us to achieve unity - to realize our true interconnection. so we have to get rid of what divides us. marx says: it's judaism! so we need to get rid of that! okaaaaay karl.... how do we do that? well, playing off some loose historical facts & stereotypes, marx argues that most jews are secular jews - and the basis of the secular jewish religion is "haggling" and money making. in fact, this spirit has even corrupted christianity. SO. we get rid of capitalism - get rid of judaism - and we get a happy civil society.
that is messed up. that is the most backwards way of going after capital. as my professor suggested - it's not even an *argument.* marx responded to an essay by bauer, but totally turned it to his own concerns w/capital, and in the process spits out this anti-semitic bizarre...thing ....
i think, though, there is some logic here. marx isn't dumb - and he's just not playing off anti-semitism for political gain. i think he focuses on judaism for two reasons:
1. it suggests the problem of capital & the division of civil society is NOT inherent in the german people - it is the characteristic of an outsider. therefore, there is a chance to *purge* (not through violence necessarily, but perhaps conversion of some type - which is still problematic) this element from society.
2. related to the first point - using judaism as a trope suggests there is a chance for progress. while building off prejudices, by focusing on judaism as the problem marx is able to suggest "hey we all know there is a way out of judaism right? - it's called *christianity.*" obviously, this assumes a (wrongheaded) notion that christianity is the (natural?) progression from judaism; christianity is a better, more advanced form of religion is the assumption. by identifying the problem of capital w/judaism, marx is arguing covertly: there is something BEYOND capital & it is BETTER
that's what i think right now. that's still pretty incohate i know ... but it's where i'm going...
** in other news, it's friday & things are good. did good work on the stats paper yesterday. the end is weak - but that hard part is done (first draft) & this weekend is all about editing. futher good news - the stats paper is now due the 19th not the 12th! woot!
and now the weekend is upon us ... i'm writing another paper (on the marx stuff above), editing, and doing some reading.
anyone out there going to have fun? it so - have some for me!!!!!
later on!
** going to see a professor during office hours always really freaks me out. i mean, i still go - and i go often. but (b/c i'm nuts) there is always this feeling that they're going to *judge* me ("oh my god, what a TERRIBLE paper idea!" - "did you just NOT understand the reading?"). i have NO IDEA why i think this - i think i've had like TWO bad office visits in my 7 years of higher education (and i go to a LOT of office hours). it doesn't help that i'm here at a new school, in the 'big leagues' - so i'm very self-conscious. i'm very aware that i need to put together a committee soon, so i'm scoping out profs (and i suppose they are, to some degree, scoping out potential students). it's all ridiculous aint it?
** other news. i feel sort of bad today. last nite AND this morning me & my wife got snippy w/each other. i feel bad - i get impatient sometimes. i mean, it's not bad - it's like a few barbs. we make up & all is well. i get impatient & frustrated just a bit too easily. it's something i'm working on. it's so frustrating that we hurt people we care about. that's such a cliche right? but it is SO TRUE. it's like, i'm comfortable around her - so i can be more honest. but sometimes that means honesty w/o thought, or being too quick about it. that's really not fair to her. but i'm glad we figure it out together - i'm glad that i can see this is a flaw, and that she is good enough to understand we're only human & she has flaws & that she understands i'm trying to do better (just like her) all the time. it does make me happy that while things are not perfect (b/c they never can be), they are still so *damn good.* i think that makes me lucky. and that makes me real happy
** in other news, i need to work today. i have to finish a paper. it's a stats paper. ugh. but stats is growing on me - it's like a fun little puzzle. i like it so much, i'm taking a linear models class next quarter! but anyway, i need to worry about finishing THIS quarter first ... i ran my numbers yesterday. NOTHING came out significant. ahwell. we don't need to show significance for the paper - just the ability to figure out the necessary co-efficients & analyze them. so that's lucky for me eh?
anyway. that's all i got. i ordered a digital camera...i wonder if it will arrive today? soon i will have pics! ha ha!
i think tomorrow i might have to ruminate on marx & the jewish question (another paper i'm working on - my life is papers!). so consider that a preview.
later on
** other news. i feel sort of bad today. last nite AND this morning me & my wife got snippy w/each other. i feel bad - i get impatient sometimes. i mean, it's not bad - it's like a few barbs. we make up & all is well. i get impatient & frustrated just a bit too easily. it's something i'm working on. it's so frustrating that we hurt people we care about. that's such a cliche right? but it is SO TRUE. it's like, i'm comfortable around her - so i can be more honest. but sometimes that means honesty w/o thought, or being too quick about it. that's really not fair to her. but i'm glad we figure it out together - i'm glad that i can see this is a flaw, and that she is good enough to understand we're only human & she has flaws & that she understands i'm trying to do better (just like her) all the time. it does make me happy that while things are not perfect (b/c they never can be), they are still so *damn good.* i think that makes me lucky. and that makes me real happy
** in other news, i need to work today. i have to finish a paper. it's a stats paper. ugh. but stats is growing on me - it's like a fun little puzzle. i like it so much, i'm taking a linear models class next quarter! but anyway, i need to worry about finishing THIS quarter first ... i ran my numbers yesterday. NOTHING came out significant. ahwell. we don't need to show significance for the paper - just the ability to figure out the necessary co-efficients & analyze them. so that's lucky for me eh?
anyway. that's all i got. i ordered a digital camera...i wonder if it will arrive today? soon i will have pics! ha ha!
i think tomorrow i might have to ruminate on marx & the jewish question (another paper i'm working on - my life is papers!). so consider that a preview.
later on
pregnancy & gender. this morning i was reading susan bordo's "unbearable weight" - a slightly dated (originally published 1993), but really interesting feminist piece on western culture, the body, and women.
i just read a chapter on pregnancy & women. bordo traces out a really nice argument where women basically lose their subjectivity once they become pregnant. she highlights two points:
1. fetuses come to trump women in many cases. so the health of the fetus can lead to courts forcing women to have invasive operations, or can lead to people calling for strict punishment for the slightest 'health infringement' (having one drink, smoking one cigarette). bordo points out that criminals have their bodies protected more than women (for example, the law cannot force you to vomit or undergo surgery to obtain evidence). she also points out that *men* are not regulated (not forced to pay for pre-natal care, or not forced to not smoke, not drink - all things that potentially impact the health of the fetus as much as anything a woman does, either directly or b/c of environmental effects).
2. the rhetoric of father's rights. bordo does not oppose the idea that men have some role in the lives of babies. rather, she suggests that most of the rhetoric of father's rights involves the rights of the father trumping the mother. often the resulting discourse displays women as cold & callous, which is hardly the case for most mothers. it turns women into 'evil step-mothers' or 'ice queens.'
bordo is a really great writer. what intrigues me is my inability to handle her argument objectively. my immediate gut reaction is that 'bordo is wrong!' - in other words, father's DO need rights & women DO need to take care of their bodies while pregnant. and, in actuality, bordo argues for these EXACT things. her point is more subtle however - she is really saying that these things should happen, but they should NOT happen at the expense of women's subject-hood. that they way these concerns are presently articulated results in women just becoming 'vessels' for babies.
i try to be a good lefty, and i think of myself as being reasonably well-eduated & intelligent. but it's funny how deeply gendered my life still is. i understand bordo's argument on an intellectual level. she's really basically right (there are always some problems). but on the gut/reactionary/emotional level - i have such initial resistance to her argument. as i slowly mull over this chapter, i come to see her point more & more. and i am fascinated/frightened by how powerfully gendered norms are ingrained - and how easy it becomes to rationalize gender oppression/bias. i think it shows how much i have to do on my own thinking - and prolly how much work we all have to do on subjects like this.
** in other news, my abstract did NOT get accepted. bummer. but no biggie really. there will be other conferences! (in fact, i'm waiting word on yet another conference right now! so hah!)
i just read a chapter on pregnancy & women. bordo traces out a really nice argument where women basically lose their subjectivity once they become pregnant. she highlights two points:
1. fetuses come to trump women in many cases. so the health of the fetus can lead to courts forcing women to have invasive operations, or can lead to people calling for strict punishment for the slightest 'health infringement' (having one drink, smoking one cigarette). bordo points out that criminals have their bodies protected more than women (for example, the law cannot force you to vomit or undergo surgery to obtain evidence). she also points out that *men* are not regulated (not forced to pay for pre-natal care, or not forced to not smoke, not drink - all things that potentially impact the health of the fetus as much as anything a woman does, either directly or b/c of environmental effects).
2. the rhetoric of father's rights. bordo does not oppose the idea that men have some role in the lives of babies. rather, she suggests that most of the rhetoric of father's rights involves the rights of the father trumping the mother. often the resulting discourse displays women as cold & callous, which is hardly the case for most mothers. it turns women into 'evil step-mothers' or 'ice queens.'
bordo is a really great writer. what intrigues me is my inability to handle her argument objectively. my immediate gut reaction is that 'bordo is wrong!' - in other words, father's DO need rights & women DO need to take care of their bodies while pregnant. and, in actuality, bordo argues for these EXACT things. her point is more subtle however - she is really saying that these things should happen, but they should NOT happen at the expense of women's subject-hood. that they way these concerns are presently articulated results in women just becoming 'vessels' for babies.
i try to be a good lefty, and i think of myself as being reasonably well-eduated & intelligent. but it's funny how deeply gendered my life still is. i understand bordo's argument on an intellectual level. she's really basically right (there are always some problems). but on the gut/reactionary/emotional level - i have such initial resistance to her argument. as i slowly mull over this chapter, i come to see her point more & more. and i am fascinated/frightened by how powerfully gendered norms are ingrained - and how easy it becomes to rationalize gender oppression/bias. i think it shows how much i have to do on my own thinking - and prolly how much work we all have to do on subjects like this.
** in other news, my abstract did NOT get accepted. bummer. but no biggie really. there will be other conferences! (in fact, i'm waiting word on yet another conference right now! so hah!)
i've been on pins and needles the last couple of days. sometime yesterday i was supposed to get word whether or not my abstract was picked for a confernece this coming fall. but no word yet! argh! it's not a big deal - but of course it *seems* like a big deal...
in other news, the stress in my life is ramping up. i need to work on two papers this weekend. well. i need to work on one tonite, b/c i have an appointment to go discuss it tomorrow w/the professor. i just really cannot wait to get out of this quarter!
in other news, there really is no other news. just another tuesday.
maybe tomorrow will bring sex and adventure?
in other news, the stress in my life is ramping up. i need to work on two papers this weekend. well. i need to work on one tonite, b/c i have an appointment to go discuss it tomorrow w/the professor. i just really cannot wait to get out of this quarter!
in other news, there really is no other news. just another tuesday.
maybe tomorrow will bring sex and adventure?
i spent SO MUCH MONEY this weekend. god. i felt so dirty. see, i have to go out of town next week. and it's been really a pretty long time since i've bought nice clothes: suits, ties, dress shirts, slacks. all these very professional things. so i figrued i should go & get some this weekend...
it just got ugly.
i realized i REALLY ENJOY dressing well. i really enjoy having good suits, and i love the wait a good jacket looks. i love a great shirt. i love a great tie. in fact, i can't wait for the day when i can dress up on a regular basis. maybe not EVERYDAY, but i think i would like wearing a suit once or twice a week. it feels very authoritative, very powerful. it's all gendered, masculine shit i'm sure. but i love it.
but in terms of damage. whooboy. got a new suit, three shirts, a couple of ties, a new pair of black shoes. and a leather jacket.
here's the deal: i'm gonna need to start dressing well as i travel to conferences. and eventually, i'll be looking for a job. and once i have a job, i'll have to dress well & i'll still be attending conferences.
so i decided it was time to lay down the cash, and actually start DRESSING like a professional. b/c even though i like to pretend i'm "still just a student," that just ain't the case. i'm learning to be a professional now - and i suppose i should learn to dress like one. and spending on this stuff, then, is really a good investment - get good stuff, it looks nice & last longers. or at least, this is how i rationalize my god awful capitalist consumerism. so there ya go.
in other news, i watched "easy rider" for the 1st time this weekend. i was really expecting to like this movie - and it's a *classic* so it seems like a movie one should enjoy.
hated it. just hated it.
thought it was really pretentious, a bit simplistic .... and just really heavy-handed in its symbolism. it was like the ultimate straight white fantasy - all doing chicks & riding motorcycles & getting stoned. just didn't do it for me.
the soundtrack did rock however!
ok ok. i need to work on a paper.
it just got ugly.
i realized i REALLY ENJOY dressing well. i really enjoy having good suits, and i love the wait a good jacket looks. i love a great shirt. i love a great tie. in fact, i can't wait for the day when i can dress up on a regular basis. maybe not EVERYDAY, but i think i would like wearing a suit once or twice a week. it feels very authoritative, very powerful. it's all gendered, masculine shit i'm sure. but i love it.
but in terms of damage. whooboy. got a new suit, three shirts, a couple of ties, a new pair of black shoes. and a leather jacket.
here's the deal: i'm gonna need to start dressing well as i travel to conferences. and eventually, i'll be looking for a job. and once i have a job, i'll have to dress well & i'll still be attending conferences.
so i decided it was time to lay down the cash, and actually start DRESSING like a professional. b/c even though i like to pretend i'm "still just a student," that just ain't the case. i'm learning to be a professional now - and i suppose i should learn to dress like one. and spending on this stuff, then, is really a good investment - get good stuff, it looks nice & last longers. or at least, this is how i rationalize my god awful capitalist consumerism. so there ya go.
in other news, i watched "easy rider" for the 1st time this weekend. i was really expecting to like this movie - and it's a *classic* so it seems like a movie one should enjoy.
hated it. just hated it.
thought it was really pretentious, a bit simplistic .... and just really heavy-handed in its symbolism. it was like the ultimate straight white fantasy - all doing chicks & riding motorcycles & getting stoned. just didn't do it for me.
the soundtrack did rock however!
ok ok. i need to work on a paper.
chief illiniwek. this is some damn kooky world we live in. last nite on the news i caught just a bit of this piece - apparently the board of trustees at U of I has discussed, in the past year, getting rid of the "chief" as the school's mascot. this has been an issue for a number of years from student & native american groups - basically (correctly) arguing it's a racist & disrespectful symbol.
last time this came before the board, there was not a vote, since ya know, the anti-chief folks were gonna lose (so the issue was pulled from the table by the board member who brought it up). and i guess the issue has been tabled indefinitely b/c of other issues at the U. this year (a number of retirements of big administrators).
but to the meat of it - the obsession w/the chief is really FASCINATING. there are undergrads & alumns who are like *up in arms* that they're going to get rid of the chief. they babble on about tradition. so the question that comes up: what is the function of the chief? the one thing that i can think of is, a la benedict anderson's "imagined communities" argument, the chief serves some role in building community, and promoting stability on the campus. it builds a sense of connection between otherwise disparate individuals.
but why does a university campus need this? i mean, sure, community in & of itself is valuable. it makes us feel warm & fuzzy. but community also helps us have stabilty & prompt cooperation - it holds together societies/aggregates of people that really are very different by making us believe that we're really very similar. but how necessary is this for a university? i mean, you have lots of friendly undergrads, who are all members of a dept, all live in a dorm/apt building/in a neighborhood, and can join various student groups to provide them that touchy feely type stuff. plus, are campuses really that divisive that they need "mascots" to pull them together? so while i get the role that the chief plays as a uniter, i'm not sure of the necessity of him - particularly in light of the damage he does to our native american friends. (wouldn't some other symbol - assuming one is absolutely necessary - do the job just as well?) its crazy how our affective sides - which are valuable! - can so override anything reasonable... do we need the return of reason - where the fuck is modernity when you need it?
in other news. it's friday. that's the shit. although my weekends are a lot like my weeks ... i read a lot. but it feels qualitatively different dammit, and i stand by that!
later on
last time this came before the board, there was not a vote, since ya know, the anti-chief folks were gonna lose (so the issue was pulled from the table by the board member who brought it up). and i guess the issue has been tabled indefinitely b/c of other issues at the U. this year (a number of retirements of big administrators).
but to the meat of it - the obsession w/the chief is really FASCINATING. there are undergrads & alumns who are like *up in arms* that they're going to get rid of the chief. they babble on about tradition. so the question that comes up: what is the function of the chief? the one thing that i can think of is, a la benedict anderson's "imagined communities" argument, the chief serves some role in building community, and promoting stability on the campus. it builds a sense of connection between otherwise disparate individuals.
but why does a university campus need this? i mean, sure, community in & of itself is valuable. it makes us feel warm & fuzzy. but community also helps us have stabilty & prompt cooperation - it holds together societies/aggregates of people that really are very different by making us believe that we're really very similar. but how necessary is this for a university? i mean, you have lots of friendly undergrads, who are all members of a dept, all live in a dorm/apt building/in a neighborhood, and can join various student groups to provide them that touchy feely type stuff. plus, are campuses really that divisive that they need "mascots" to pull them together? so while i get the role that the chief plays as a uniter, i'm not sure of the necessity of him - particularly in light of the damage he does to our native american friends. (wouldn't some other symbol - assuming one is absolutely necessary - do the job just as well?) its crazy how our affective sides - which are valuable! - can so override anything reasonable... do we need the return of reason - where the fuck is modernity when you need it?
in other news. it's friday. that's the shit. although my weekends are a lot like my weeks ... i read a lot. but it feels qualitatively different dammit, and i stand by that!
later on
it is really hard to think of something worthwhile to fill up this space everyday. regardless, i shall persevere in my attempt to fill this space with SOMETHING every day. i like to think it some serves some purpose beyond taking time away from the actual work i'm supposed to be doing.
oh yea. we're cutting social security. that's pretty interesting. i'm usually not happy to see alan greenspan on the front page of my newspaper, and hey, today was not an exception! hahahah
i'm afraid that this afternoon i'm going to have to break down and start working on a term paper. which is fine & all, but i actually don't have my argument really nailed down. i can feel it coming: i'm about to argue myself into a corner, or into a flip-flopping mess where i avoid taking a real stance. one or the other. i need to think this through some more.
eh. it's time for lunch. - orange chicken is the shit.
oh yea. we're cutting social security. that's pretty interesting. i'm usually not happy to see alan greenspan on the front page of my newspaper, and hey, today was not an exception! hahahah
i'm afraid that this afternoon i'm going to have to break down and start working on a term paper. which is fine & all, but i actually don't have my argument really nailed down. i can feel it coming: i'm about to argue myself into a corner, or into a flip-flopping mess where i avoid taking a real stance. one or the other. i need to think this through some more.
eh. it's time for lunch. - orange chicken is the shit.
wednesday is always a struggle...
i am home all day. this is PRIME WORK OPPORTUNITY. but i always have the worst time focusing. it's like my mindset is "hey i have all day...i TOTALLY have time for a break"
today i do have motivation - a colleague needs to borrow a book i'm using. there we go. oh. and i need to get to the office depot - out of ink. (i need a laser printer...and an ipod....and digital cable... and a better set of priorities..)
anyway. that & my mom is no longer pissed at me, is making today shape up to be a pretty good day.
it's all about perspective.
i need to get back to marx...
i am home all day. this is PRIME WORK OPPORTUNITY. but i always have the worst time focusing. it's like my mindset is "hey i have all day...i TOTALLY have time for a break"
today i do have motivation - a colleague needs to borrow a book i'm using. there we go. oh. and i need to get to the office depot - out of ink. (i need a laser printer...and an ipod....and digital cable... and a better set of priorities..)
anyway. that & my mom is no longer pissed at me, is making today shape up to be a pretty good day.
it's all about perspective.
i need to get back to marx...
ha-HA!
so i have a goal to update this regularly. i'm not really sure why. i could have much more productive goals than that...but this seems like a good one.
today i'm in a long-distance argument w/my mother. god that is really annoying. i love her to death - but she seems hell-bent on making all of my decisions difficult. it's really nothing big, or nothing worth going into - but i always feel like anything approaching rational conversation goes out the window once we start to engage each other. at any second, anything i say might be pulled out of context and turn me into the "evil son." maybe i'm just too sensitive.
but this too will pass...
in better news, i got back my stats assignment today and i did all right. so there ya go. not all the news is bad news.
so i have a goal to update this regularly. i'm not really sure why. i could have much more productive goals than that...but this seems like a good one.
today i'm in a long-distance argument w/my mother. god that is really annoying. i love her to death - but she seems hell-bent on making all of my decisions difficult. it's really nothing big, or nothing worth going into - but i always feel like anything approaching rational conversation goes out the window once we start to engage each other. at any second, anything i say might be pulled out of context and turn me into the "evil son." maybe i'm just too sensitive.
but this too will pass...
in better news, i got back my stats assignment today and i did all right. so there ya go. not all the news is bad news.
