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JULY 14, 2008 @ 04:52 PM

I'm having a crisis. I saw some photographs of myself. I haven't seen any for a while. I look awful. I mean, I knew on an intellectual level that I've put on a bit too much weight. But it's different to actually see it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not grotesque or anything, and you all will say, "Oh, don't worry about it, you're not fat, blah, blah, blah..." However, for someone who was always 30 lbs. underweight, being 30 lbs. over is a drastic change, and a bit distressing. It's completely out of sync with my self-image.

Getting old blows. Anti-depressants blow.

I must get more exercise. This must stop!

Note: Please forgive me, but this is the first time in my life I haven't been satisfied with my appearance. It's rough.

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

JUL 16, 2008 07:59 PM

Lies!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

JUL 17, 2008 04:18 PM

Well, I hear if it's really bad, it's called "body dysmorphic disorder." As I understand it, that means you see yourself like an anoretic sees him/herself, except you still eat.

(I really have no idea whether that's accurate. Don't quote me on that; I don't have my DSM-IV handy.)

Necia

San Francisco, CA

August 2005

JUL 17, 2008 07:15 PM

No, I don't have a copy myself. My mom did when I lived at home (up until about six months ago). She might have had an extra copy I was going to steal, but I didn't do a great job of taking all my stuff when I moved. I don't think I really saw the move as permanent--and it's not, in the sense that I'm not staying in Salt Lake, but it is in the sense that I don't know when I'll be living in the Cities again--so I didn't take all of my stuff.

And frankly, if I haven't missed it in the past six months I may not need it anyway, but we'll see.

Skywisdom

Portland, OR

December 2005

JUL 18, 2008 01:21 PM

I like what you are saying in the most recent FTR thread on Obama.

FearTheReaper

NEWSWIRE

I'm lost

JUL 18, 2008 01:39 PM

Seems I don't need to respond to any comments in that thread. You've been doing a nice job.

Claudette

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JUL 19, 2008 11:47 AM

"Someones" are stupid.

My friend Jason put it best. He reminded me of something I had said the other night. The conversation went like this:

J: "____, you said it yourself, 'I don't even like boyfriends.' You said it."
Me: *long pause* "...I did say that didn't I."
J: "You did."
Me: "And I really don't like them either."
J: "No, you don't. So, what the hell?"
Me: "Momentary loss of intelligence."
J: *shakes head with disapproving look*
Me: "Shuttup!"

Snazzy

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

JUL 19, 2008 12:19 PM

I put on some weight, too. I mean, I knew I'd gained maybe 10 pounds, but didn't realize I looked all that bad. The gravity of those 10 pounds (no pun intended) became very evident to me after I shot a new set yesterday. As I was going through the pictures to edit them last night, I was like....

Snazzy

SUICIDEGIRL

Minnesota, USA

JUL 19, 2008 12:40 PM

Claudette

SUICIDEGIRL

I'm lost

JUL 19, 2008 07:46 PM

Oh, how did I overlook this blog before leaving a comment?!

I gained fourty five pounds from anti-depressants. Doesn't it seem kind of counterproductive to the treatment? I can't count how many times I've cried in fitting rooms. It's pathetic and I hate it. Especially when people tell me I'm getting fat. I want to cut them in the face and yell, "Yeah, well now you're getting cut by a fatty! Ha ha! Take it!!!"

...you're right. I do like knives.

But I did lose twenty pounds since December. So, if my lazy ice cream loving ass can be motivated enough to drop a turkeys worth of weight, your lazy ass can do it too. If not, I have a knife you can borrow. Ha! Take it!!