The Wooden Bowl
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
"Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.'
The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
A tearjerker, right?
As a child - I actually witnessed a family that treated their grandfather in such a way. He had to eat in the kitchen off of the bread board. But instead of his children forcing him to do so - it was his own wife. You see, he worked in a gas station and she felt that he lacked social status to eat at her table - although he put a roof over his head, clothes on her back and food on her table. When she passed away - his children led him back into the dining room.
We read stories like the above - and we think them untrue - just a story. But things like this happen every day. Children remember the lessons that they are taught by their parents. Wise children learn those lessons and make things right when they have the power to do so.
On a positive note, I've learned that:
*no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
*you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
*regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life (And making grandiose statemets that you will never speak to them again or see them again - is just pointless.)
*life sometimes gives you a second chance.
*if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
*whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
*even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
*every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I know people who can brag about one project after another - that they are going to change the world. And they can't spare the time to simply sit down and have a "heart to heart" with their own parents to work out their issues. Because it's easier to turn a blind eye to their parent's issues, or just throw their parents to the curb. When they are gone - they will be gone forever. A moment's hesitancey can generate a lifetime of regret.
Which brings to mind this song.....
Cats in the Cradle
by Harry Chapin
A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Our children learn from us.........everyday we build our future legacy.....
A frail old man went to live with his son, daughter-in-law, and four-year - old grandson.
The old man's hands trembled, his eyesight was blurred, and his step faltered.
The family ate together at the table. But the elderly grandfather's shaky hands and failing sight made eating difficult. Peas rolled off his spoon onto the floor. When he grasped the glass, milk spilled on the tablecloth.
The son and daughter-in-law became irritated with the mess "We must do something about father," said the son. "I've had enough of his spilled milk, noisy eating, and food on the floor."
So the husband and wife set a small table in the corner. There, Grandfather ate alone while the rest of the family enjoyed dinner. Since Grandfather had broken a dish or two, his food was served in a wooden bowl. When the family glanced in Grandfather's direction, sometimes he had a tear in his eye as he sat alone. Still, the only words the couple had for him were sharp admonitions when he dropped a fork or spilled food.
The four-year-old watched it all in silence.
One evening before supper, the father noticed his son playing with wood scraps on the floor.
He asked the child sweetly, "What are you making?" Just as sweetly, the boy responded,
"Oh, I am making a little bowl for you and Mama to eat your food in when I grow up.'
The four-year-old smiled and went back to work.
The words so struck the parents that they were speechless. Then tears started to stream down their cheeks. Though no word was spoken, both knew what must be done.
That evening the husband took Grandfather's hand and gently led him back to the family table.
For the remainder of his days he ate every meal with the family. And for some reason, neither husband nor wife seemed to care any longer when a fork was dropped, milk spilled, or the tablecloth soiled.
A tearjerker, right?
As a child - I actually witnessed a family that treated their grandfather in such a way. He had to eat in the kitchen off of the bread board. But instead of his children forcing him to do so - it was his own wife. You see, he worked in a gas station and she felt that he lacked social status to eat at her table - although he put a roof over his head, clothes on her back and food on her table. When she passed away - his children led him back into the dining room.
We read stories like the above - and we think them untrue - just a story. But things like this happen every day. Children remember the lessons that they are taught by their parents. Wise children learn those lessons and make things right when they have the power to do so.
On a positive note, I've learned that:
*no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
*you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles four things: a rainy day, the elderly, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
*regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life (And making grandiose statemets that you will never speak to them again or see them again - is just pointless.)
*life sometimes gives you a second chance.
*if you pursue happiness, it will elude you But, if you focus on your family, your friends, the needs of others, your work and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
*whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.
*even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
*every day, you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch -- holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
I know people who can brag about one project after another - that they are going to change the world. And they can't spare the time to simply sit down and have a "heart to heart" with their own parents to work out their issues. Because it's easier to turn a blind eye to their parent's issues, or just throw their parents to the curb. When they are gone - they will be gone forever. A moment's hesitancey can generate a lifetime of regret.
Which brings to mind this song.....
Cats in the Cradle
by Harry Chapin
A child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Our children learn from us.........everyday we build our future legacy.....
Want a good laugh? Check this out ... 
http://suicidegirls.com/boards/Lifestyle/307349/page1/
ROTFLMAO
I'M JUST BEING A REAL LIFE DON QUIXOTE - TILTING AT WINDMILLS TO RIGHT INJUSTICE AND DEFEND MYSELF. IT'S A HOPELESS CAUSE - YOU CAN'T MAKE STUPID, UNSTUPID - AS i'M FINDING OUT.....DAYS LATER....
THE PITY PARTY - SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT WITH WYLDECHYLDE AND WYLDESAGE
http://suicidegirls.com/boards/Lifestyle/307349/page1/
ROTFLMAO
I'M JUST BEING A REAL LIFE DON QUIXOTE - TILTING AT WINDMILLS TO RIGHT INJUSTICE AND DEFEND MYSELF. IT'S A HOPELESS CAUSE - YOU CAN'T MAKE STUPID, UNSTUPID - AS i'M FINDING OUT.....DAYS LATER....
THE PITY PARTY - SETTING THE RECORD STRAIGHT WITH WYLDECHYLDE AND WYLDESAGE
UPDATE: True to form, the Wyldes have still not learned their lesson and continue to post their lies.
New Update (8/03/09):
WyldeSage is now posting: "Im tired of all the BS and the liars."
And today's update (8/04/09)
WyldeSage said:
"I have someone who has treated my so badly on here, that I can no longer stay."
"I'm done with the bullshit, and the liars "I've learned that noone can be trusted."
THE DRAMA CONTINUES - Today's Update 8/05/09:
Well WyldeSage outdid herself this time. She's rehashed all the accusations again.
Well, it seems that when WyldeSage finally had to face up to her mistakes, and could not admit it - she had to retreat and runaway, runaway.....
It's unfortunate, because truly there is room here for all of us. But some standards of decency ethics, and morality need to be followed. Apparently, being held to those standards was too difficult or repugnant for her to handle.
And now for her trimphant return as ????? Counting down the days 3,2,1. Anyone want to start a lottery as to how many days before she re-emerges? Bonus points if you guess as what.
Mermaid or Whale?
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only thin people are beautiful.
I don't buy into it and neither should you. We are ALL beautiful. We don't need to be a society of clones.
I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my friends and a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver.
My theory is that with time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am."
Cheers!
Recently, in a large French city, a poster featuring a young, thin and tan woman appeared in the window of a gym. It said: ¨THIS SUMMER DO YOU WANT TO BE A MERMAID OR A WHALE?¨
A middle aged woman, whose physical characteristics did not match those of the woman on the poster, responded publicly to the question posed by the gym.
To Whom It May Concern:
Whales are always surrounded by friends (dolphins, sea lions, curious humans). They have an active sex life, they get pregnant and have adorable baby whales. They have a wonderful time with dolphins stuffing themselves with shrimp. They play and swim in the seas, seeing wonderful places like Patagonia, the Barren Sea and the coral reefs of Polynesia . Whales are wonderful singers and have even recorded CDs. They are incredible creatures and virtually have no predators other than humans. They are loved, protected and admired by almost everyone in the world.
Mermaids don't exist. If they did exist, they would be lining up outside the offices of Argentinean psychoanalysts due to identity crisis. Fish or human? They don't have a sex life because they kill men who get close to them not to mention how could they have sex? Therefore they do not have kids either. Not to mention who wants to get close to a girl who smells like a fish store?
The choice is perfectly clear to me; I want to be a whale.
We are in an age when media puts into our heads the idea that only thin people are beautiful.
I don't buy into it and neither should you. We are ALL beautiful. We don't need to be a society of clones.
I prefer to enjoy an ice cream with my friends and a good dinner with a man who makes me shiver.
My theory is that with time we gain weight because we accumulate so much information and wisdom in our heads that when there is no more room it distributes out to the rest of our bodies. So we aren't heavy, we are enormously cultured, educated and happy. Beginning today, when I look at my butt in the mirror I will think, "Good gosh, look how smart I am."
Cheers!
WALK NAKED IN AMERICA DAY
Don't forget to mark your calendars.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked.
He must commit suicide if he does.
So this Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't recruit at least 5 people, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are in the position of posing as a national threat.
God bless America !
I thought you guys could use a visual aid!
Don't forget to mark your calendars.
As you may already know, it is a sin for a Muslim male to see any woman other than his wife naked.
He must commit suicide if he does.
So this Saturday at 4 PM Eastern Time, all American women are asked to walk out of their house completely naked to help weed out any neighborhood terrorists. Circling your block for one hour is recommended for this anti-terrorist effort.
All patriotic men are to position themselves in lawn chairs in front of their house to prove they are not Muslims and to demonstrate they think its okay to see nude women other than their wife and to show support for all American women.
Since Islam also does not approve of alcohol, a cold 6-pack at your side is further proof of your anti-Muslim sentiment.
The American government appreciates your efforts to root out terrorists and applauds your participation in this anti-terrorist activity.
It is your patriotic duty to pass this on. If you don't recruit at least 5 people, you're a terrorist-sympathizing, lily-livered coward and are in the position of posing as a national threat.
God bless America !
I thought you guys could use a visual aid!
Notwithstanding that I am deliriously happy with my hubby and my life - I had to admit that this made me chuckle. I'm finally getting well...
Inner Peace
If you can start the day without caffeine,
If you can get going without pep pills,
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can resist treating a rich friend better than a poor friend,
If you can conquer tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,
A Reflection on Our Keepers
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat, working on the lawn mower, and Mom in a housedress, dish-towel in her hand. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.
But then my mother died, and on that clear, cold winter's night, in the emptiness of her hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. Only to have that lesson repeated a short time later when my stepfather passed away.....
Sometimes, what we care about most, gets all used up and goes away....never to return. So... While we have it... it's best we love it... And care for it.... And fix it when it's broken..... And heal it when it's sick.
This is true... For marriage...... And old cars...... And children with bad report cards....... Dogs and cats with bad hips....... And aging parents.... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special... And so, we keep them close...
So maybe during this weekend's (Northern Hemisphere's) Summer/(Southern Hemisphere's)Winter Solstice - we should take a moment to reflect on our 'Keepers' - take a moment to reach and fix that which we care about and want to keep close, and mend old lost relationships as well.
So, to all my friends - I think you are Keepers. Each one of you possesses a quality or qualities that enriches my life. And for that, I sincerely thank you. I hope that I in turn have enriched your lives in equal measure.
Good friends and family are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
(Recycling at it's best.....)
Their marriage was good, their dreams focused. Their best friends lived barely a wave away. I can see them now, Dad in trousers, tee shirt and a hat, working on the lawn mower, and Mom in a housedress, dish-towel in her hand. It was the time for fixing things. A curtain rod, the kitchen radio, screen door, the oven door, the hem in a dress. Things we keep.
It was a way of life, and sometimes it made me crazy All that re-fixing, eating, renewing, I wanted just once to be wasteful. Waste meant affluence. Throwing things away meant you knew there'd always be more.
But then my mother died, and on that clear, cold winter's night, in the emptiness of her hospital room, I was struck with the pain of learning that sometimes there isn't any more. Only to have that lesson repeated a short time later when my stepfather passed away.....
Sometimes, what we care about most, gets all used up and goes away....never to return. So... While we have it... it's best we love it... And care for it.... And fix it when it's broken..... And heal it when it's sick.
This is true... For marriage...... And old cars...... And children with bad report cards....... Dogs and cats with bad hips....... And aging parents.... And grandparents. We keep them because they are worth it, because we are worth it. Some things we keep. Like a best friend that moved away or a classmate we grew up with.
There are just some things that make life important, like people we know who are special... And so, we keep them close...
So maybe during this weekend's (Northern Hemisphere's) Summer/(Southern Hemisphere's)Winter Solstice - we should take a moment to reflect on our 'Keepers' - take a moment to reach and fix that which we care about and want to keep close, and mend old lost relationships as well.
So, to all my friends - I think you are Keepers. Each one of you possesses a quality or qualities that enriches my life. And for that, I sincerely thank you. I hope that I in turn have enriched your lives in equal measure.
Good friends and family are like stars.... You don't always see them, but you know they are always there.
(Recycling at it's best.....)
Dangerous Beauty
Beauty is such a relative word. Beauty is relative to one's perception and one's ability to perceive. Beauty is relative to one's psyche and one's beliefs.
Women of today are slowly, but surely, being murdered by Beauty.
How can this be, you may ask yourself. How can Beauty murder anyone? Beauty is not alive, is not cognizant, is not evil. You ponder the statement and then quietly ask...
Is it?
Beauty in itself is neither evil nor cognizant. Beauty does not walk, talk, scheme and plan. Beauty is, however, something that we have managed to mold into a razor-sharp weapon dripping with deadly poison. Whispers of vicious, poisonous barbs are heard all over the world, every hour of every day.
"She's too fat or too thin."
"My lips aren't plump enough."
"Her eyes are too close together or too far apart."
"Her teeth aren't straight or white enough."
"Her nose is too tiny or too long."
"My cheeks aren't high enough."
"Her breasts are too small or too large."
"My legs are too short or too long."
"Her hair is too thin or too curly."
"My eyes are too large or too small."
"Her butt is too big or nonexistent."
"She's too old."
"She has too many wrinkles."
"She was such a beauty when she was younger, thinner."
"I hate the way I look."
"I'm so ugly."
We have heard far too many of these poisonous barbs throughout our lives and what is worse is that we have started saying them to ourselves. We have experienced the pain of thoughtless words tossed with deadly accuracy. We have been sliced to ribbons, emotionally, with sharp words said as if they were meant to help rather than slay. We have looked into the mirror and have whispered and even shouted at ourselves that we are "ugly", "disgusting".
When did you start to hate yourself? Perhaps it didn't hit you until much later when you turned 40 and realized that your body and face had changed. On the other hand, maybe you are a young woman of only twenty who has decided that you don't measure up to the "perfect" young women you see on your favorite television show.
Females, both younger and older, are slowly, but surely, being murdered by Beauty.
Standing over the casket of a young teenaged girl who took her life after finally giving in to the voices in her head, on the television, in the magazine and in the halls of her school, that told her she was ugly or fat or both, we wonder to ourselves. Did beauty kill her too?
If Beauty had a form and shape, would it be dressed all in black and carrying a sickle like Death? Does Beauty in this all too recognizable form stalk us from the moment we are born until the day that we die? I think it does.
We have no one to blame but ourselves. Yes, you heard me right. We have no one to blame but ourselves. This is not something we can foist on someone else. This is something that we have done to ourselves!
We have given society permission to punish us for our lack of perfection. We have participated in this crime. No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow it.
A friend of mine who is large and lovely was accosted by an individual recently at a gathering, where the individual showered my friend with compliments. Then came the barb, she told my friend that she is beautiful now, but would be gorgeous if she lost 70 pounds. My friend turned to her and without hesitation responded: Love me as I am, or just dont speak. She left that individual speechless. She did not give that individual permission to hurt her.
When did we decide that baby fat deserved a rigid diet rather than a loving kiss on the cheek? When did we decide that every single woman in the world must look exactly the same, weigh exactly the same and be shaped exactly the same?
We have done this inexplicable thing. We have created this murderous Beauty and set it free to wreak havoc upon every person on this planet. Beauty stalks men as well as women. We are teased because they wear glasses, have large ears, large noses or pimples. This is just a phase that we all go through, yet we are hounded mercilessly by Beauty in its long, black mourning gown carrying its poisonous bladed sickle.
Beauty is ready to harvest poor souls that dare to be human. What is this need for perfection? Who is to define this perfect beauty? We are all so very different. There can never be one measure of beauty that applies to all and is, as well, fair. Yet we beat one another with the Beauty bat every single day!
I applaud the individual that has finally accepted themselves. But, I feel sorry for the person whose self esteem is only derived from their looks.
When did we become such a superficial and vain society? When did we place all our self esteem on our looks rather than on our ethics, our integrity, our personal values and our deeds?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we have assumed it is only one kind of eye - the eye of fashion. Fashion can help to express oneself but it can also act as a mask. The mask of beauty hides an insecure society. Every society has its mask, but what are we hiding from?
If you focus too much on the outside, what happens to the inner? Once you find the beauty within, it shows on the outer. What does this beauty look like? Its not so much a look but a feeling. You see it when friends are connecting and laughing with one another thats beautiful. You see it when two old toothless men are sitting at a bench, playing cards in the park. Beauty is the nurse who soothes her patient. Beauty is a mother comforting her child. Beauty is selfless acts that are performed by ordinary people everyday to help one another. Beauty is the creation of art, a song, a garden. Beauty is the creation of joy. You can see beauty everywhere. You just have to look further than the mask.
Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. This is pure and simple Truth. It is time for all of us to delve much more deeply within ourselves until we finally understand that beauty is unique and can never be just one standard by which to measure all people. It is time we look ourselves in the mirror and say, "I am worthy of love" and "I am beautiful". It is time that we look one another in the face and say "You are worthy of love" and "You are beautiful." It is time to allow beauty to be the gift it was meant to be and not the weapon we have made of it.
When will we learn that for REAL growth, for lasting self esteem, we will need to rely upon our ethics, our integrity, our personal values and our deeds? What good is it for us to accept our outer shell to be beautiful, if we are shallow, superficial, ignorant, irresponsible and selfish individuals underneath? And believe it, that ugly inside will shine through. Others will detect it, and it will tarnish whatever first impression that was made by your outward appearance.
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. The Little Prince Antoine Saint Expurey
Beauty is such a relative word. Beauty is relative to one's perception and one's ability to perceive. Beauty is relative to one's psyche and one's beliefs.
Women of today are slowly, but surely, being murdered by Beauty.
How can this be, you may ask yourself. How can Beauty murder anyone? Beauty is not alive, is not cognizant, is not evil. You ponder the statement and then quietly ask...
Is it?
Beauty in itself is neither evil nor cognizant. Beauty does not walk, talk, scheme and plan. Beauty is, however, something that we have managed to mold into a razor-sharp weapon dripping with deadly poison. Whispers of vicious, poisonous barbs are heard all over the world, every hour of every day.
"She's too fat or too thin."
"My lips aren't plump enough."
"Her eyes are too close together or too far apart."
"Her teeth aren't straight or white enough."
"Her nose is too tiny or too long."
"My cheeks aren't high enough."
"Her breasts are too small or too large."
"My legs are too short or too long."
"Her hair is too thin or too curly."
"My eyes are too large or too small."
"Her butt is too big or nonexistent."
"She's too old."
"She has too many wrinkles."
"She was such a beauty when she was younger, thinner."
"I hate the way I look."
"I'm so ugly."
We have heard far too many of these poisonous barbs throughout our lives and what is worse is that we have started saying them to ourselves. We have experienced the pain of thoughtless words tossed with deadly accuracy. We have been sliced to ribbons, emotionally, with sharp words said as if they were meant to help rather than slay. We have looked into the mirror and have whispered and even shouted at ourselves that we are "ugly", "disgusting".
When did you start to hate yourself? Perhaps it didn't hit you until much later when you turned 40 and realized that your body and face had changed. On the other hand, maybe you are a young woman of only twenty who has decided that you don't measure up to the "perfect" young women you see on your favorite television show.
Females, both younger and older, are slowly, but surely, being murdered by Beauty.
Standing over the casket of a young teenaged girl who took her life after finally giving in to the voices in her head, on the television, in the magazine and in the halls of her school, that told her she was ugly or fat or both, we wonder to ourselves. Did beauty kill her too?
If Beauty had a form and shape, would it be dressed all in black and carrying a sickle like Death? Does Beauty in this all too recognizable form stalk us from the moment we are born until the day that we die? I think it does.
We have no one to blame but ourselves. Yes, you heard me right. We have no one to blame but ourselves. This is not something we can foist on someone else. This is something that we have done to ourselves!
We have given society permission to punish us for our lack of perfection. We have participated in this crime. No one can hurt us emotionally unless we allow it.
A friend of mine who is large and lovely was accosted by an individual recently at a gathering, where the individual showered my friend with compliments. Then came the barb, she told my friend that she is beautiful now, but would be gorgeous if she lost 70 pounds. My friend turned to her and without hesitation responded: Love me as I am, or just dont speak. She left that individual speechless. She did not give that individual permission to hurt her.
When did we decide that baby fat deserved a rigid diet rather than a loving kiss on the cheek? When did we decide that every single woman in the world must look exactly the same, weigh exactly the same and be shaped exactly the same?
We have done this inexplicable thing. We have created this murderous Beauty and set it free to wreak havoc upon every person on this planet. Beauty stalks men as well as women. We are teased because they wear glasses, have large ears, large noses or pimples. This is just a phase that we all go through, yet we are hounded mercilessly by Beauty in its long, black mourning gown carrying its poisonous bladed sickle.
Beauty is ready to harvest poor souls that dare to be human. What is this need for perfection? Who is to define this perfect beauty? We are all so very different. There can never be one measure of beauty that applies to all and is, as well, fair. Yet we beat one another with the Beauty bat every single day!
I applaud the individual that has finally accepted themselves. But, I feel sorry for the person whose self esteem is only derived from their looks.
When did we become such a superficial and vain society? When did we place all our self esteem on our looks rather than on our ethics, our integrity, our personal values and our deeds?
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and we have assumed it is only one kind of eye - the eye of fashion. Fashion can help to express oneself but it can also act as a mask. The mask of beauty hides an insecure society. Every society has its mask, but what are we hiding from?
If you focus too much on the outside, what happens to the inner? Once you find the beauty within, it shows on the outer. What does this beauty look like? Its not so much a look but a feeling. You see it when friends are connecting and laughing with one another thats beautiful. You see it when two old toothless men are sitting at a bench, playing cards in the park. Beauty is the nurse who soothes her patient. Beauty is a mother comforting her child. Beauty is selfless acts that are performed by ordinary people everyday to help one another. Beauty is the creation of art, a song, a garden. Beauty is the creation of joy. You can see beauty everywhere. You just have to look further than the mask.
Beauty truly is in the eye of the beholder. This is pure and simple Truth. It is time for all of us to delve much more deeply within ourselves until we finally understand that beauty is unique and can never be just one standard by which to measure all people. It is time we look ourselves in the mirror and say, "I am worthy of love" and "I am beautiful". It is time that we look one another in the face and say "You are worthy of love" and "You are beautiful." It is time to allow beauty to be the gift it was meant to be and not the weapon we have made of it.
When will we learn that for REAL growth, for lasting self esteem, we will need to rely upon our ethics, our integrity, our personal values and our deeds? What good is it for us to accept our outer shell to be beautiful, if we are shallow, superficial, ignorant, irresponsible and selfish individuals underneath? And believe it, that ugly inside will shine through. Others will detect it, and it will tarnish whatever first impression that was made by your outward appearance.
It is only with the heart that one can see rightly. What is essential is invisible to the eye. The Little Prince Antoine Saint Expurey
The Golden Rule
Many years ago, a co-worker used to always bring the same kind of cookies to all of the functions where food was served - i.e., Birthday celebrations, Cinco de Mayo, Christmas, office potlucks - those kind of occasions. These cookies were supposedly some kind of healthy concoction made of oatmeal, sunflower seeds, raisins, you know the drill. They were okay - but this person thought they were special, very, very special. So special that she would not share the recipe with anyone. The cookies were her Secret Recipe and no one else could have it.
I always thought that to be strange, to not share a recipe. I mean everybody has to eat and everybody deserves to enjoy and find pleasure in eating. It always made me feel good to share wonderful ways to prepare food and recipes. But to each their own.
What makes this story even more odd though, is that this woman was a Born Again Christian. She even had a bumper sticker on the back of her car What would Jesus do? I used to see that bumper sticker and laughingly think that Jesus would have shared the cookie recipe!
At that time I lived in a very small community and even though I do not want to go into detail or write extensively about this I will just mention casually that this town had a predominant and very controlling religion that the majority of the townspeople adhered too. Needless to say it was not Born-again Christian.
So it was very interesting to be an observer and watch the interaction of this Born-Again Christian woman and the townspeople. She would endlessly complain and try to discount their beliefs, saying that they were wrong and mislead and even worse. But the amusing and interesting thing to me was that she was every bit as pious, judgmental and unforgiving as they were but of course she thought she was right and they were wrong and therefore she was justified in her complaints of them. She actually said to me once when there was a perceived threat to the town that God will protect my family but everyone else needs to take heed and be careful.
So back to the bumper sticker, is that what Jesus would do? Only protect her family because they were the morally superior ones?
Lately, Ive noted a lot of postings on SG whereby individuals have felt free to bash other peoples beliefs and like my aforementioned co-worker were every bit as pious, judgmental and unforgiving as the people they professed to hate. I know that SG is a microcosm of the population at large and I shouldnt expect us to be any different but somehow I do have that expectation. I do expect that we should be more tolerant and forgiving as we espouse the concepts of an alternative culture. Why would we want to emulate the bad traits of the culture that we claim to reject? And yet we fall into those bad habits anyway. It disturbs and saddens me.
It seems to me that people tend to lose sight of the spiritual messages when they claim to be the only ones who are right or the only ones given the gifts of whatever higher power that they worship.
I think that all religions can bring us closer to that higher power. But when the religions push against each other and claim to be the only ones with the answers then they take us further away from that higher power. The human Ego takes us farther from our spiritual quests than any other thing. All of the great spiritual traditions have said to practice non-judgment but people often do and they justify it through religion.
I believe that we have been given truth through many of the spiritual practices of the world. But I dont believe that any of them have the exclusive and absolute truth. I dont believe that there are people who are chosen above all others. We all have different paths and different lives and what works for me may not work as well for you.
I think that perhaps we should look more at our similarities rather than our differences.
Twice this past week, the Universe presented this idea to me in a very distinct way. We have all heard of the Golden Rule or Do unto others as you wish them to do unto you. In two completely different situations my attention was brought to the fact that every major world religion has espoused this concept. Twice this past week this same list was presented to me. I feel compelled to share it.
The Golden Rule
Christianity: In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets. JesusMatthew 7:12
Hinduism: This is the sum of duty: do not to others what would cause pain if done to you. Mahabaratha 5:1517
Taoism: Regard your neighbors gain as you own gain, and your neighbors loss as your own loss. Tai Shang Kan Ying Pien, 213-18
Native Spirituality-We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive Chief Dan George
Buddhism: Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5.18
Judaism: What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest is commentary. Hillel, Talmud, Shabbat 31a
Islam: Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself. The Prophet Muhammad, Hadith
Sikhism: I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all. Guru Granth Sahib
Bahai Faith: Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things you would not desire for yourself. Bahauliah, Gleanings
Jainism: One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated. Mahavira, Sutravitanga
Unitarianism: We affirm and promote respect for the interdependence of all existence of which we are a part.
Zoroastrianism: Do not unto others what is injurious to yourself. Shayast-na-Shayast 13.29
Wicca/Pagan: Wicca Rede 1: In that it harm none, do as ye will.
Whatever higher power you believe in has given all of us answers in the best way we can comprehend. We are all special in the eyes of that higher power.
Perhaps we should respect each other. We should allow each other our differences. And, rather than fight our differences, acknowledge and honor our oneness.
Many years ago, a co-worker used to always bring the same kind of cookies to all of the functions where food was served - i.e., Birthday celebrations, Cinco de Mayo, Christmas, office potlucks - those kind of occasions. These cookies were supposedly some kind of healthy concoction made of oatmeal, sunflower seeds, raisins, you know the drill. They were okay - but this person thought they were special, very, very special. So special that she would not share the recipe with anyone. The cookies were her Secret Recipe and no one else could have it.
I always thought that to be strange, to not share a recipe. I mean everybody has to eat and everybody deserves to enjoy and find pleasure in eating. It always made me feel good to share wonderful ways to prepare food and recipes. But to each their own.
What makes this story even more odd though, is that this woman was a Born Again Christian. She even had a bumper sticker on the back of her car What would Jesus do? I used to see that bumper sticker and laughingly think that Jesus would have shared the cookie recipe!
At that time I lived in a very small community and even though I do not want to go into detail or write extensively about this I will just mention casually that this town had a predominant and very controlling religion that the majority of the townspeople adhered too. Needless to say it was not Born-again Christian.
So it was very interesting to be an observer and watch the interaction of this Born-Again Christian woman and the townspeople. She would endlessly complain and try to discount their beliefs, saying that they were wrong and mislead and even worse. But the amusing and interesting thing to me was that she was every bit as pious, judgmental and unforgiving as they were but of course she thought she was right and they were wrong and therefore she was justified in her complaints of them. She actually said to me once when there was a perceived threat to the town that God will protect my family but everyone else needs to take heed and be careful.
So back to the bumper sticker, is that what Jesus would do? Only protect her family because they were the morally superior ones?
Lately, Ive noted a lot of postings on SG whereby individuals have felt free to bash other peoples beliefs and like my aforementioned co-worker were every bit as pious, judgmental and unforgiving as the people they professed to hate. I know that SG is a microcosm of the population at large and I shouldnt expect us to be any different but somehow I do have that expectation. I do expect that we should be more tolerant and forgiving as we espouse the concepts of an alternative culture. Why would we want to emulate the bad traits of the culture that we claim to reject? And yet we fall into those bad habits anyway. It disturbs and saddens me.
It seems to me that people tend to lose sight of the spiritual messages when they claim to be the only ones who are right or the only ones given the gifts of whatever higher power that they worship.
I think that all religions can bring us closer to that higher power. But when the religions push against each other and claim to be the only ones with the answers then they take us further away from that higher power. The human Ego takes us farther from our spiritual quests than any other thing. All of the great spiritual traditions have said to practice non-judgment but people often do and they justify it through religion.
I believe that we have been given truth through many of the spiritual practices of the world. But I dont believe that any of them have the exclusive and absolute truth. I dont believe that there are people who are chosen above all others. We all have different paths and different lives and what works for me may not work as well for you.
I think that perhaps we should look more at our similarities rather than our differences.
Twice this past week, the Universe presented this idea to me in a very distinct way. We have all heard of the Golden Rule or Do unto others as you wish them to do unto you. In two completely different situations my attention was brought to the fact that every major world religion has espoused this concept. Twice this past week this same list was presented to me. I feel compelled to share it.
The Golden Rule
Christianity: In everything, do to others as you would have them do to you; for this is the law and the prophets. JesusMatthew 7:12
Hinduism: This is the sum of duty: do not to others what would cause pain if done to you. Mahabaratha 5:1517
Taoism: Regard your neighbors gain as you own gain, and your neighbors loss as your own loss. Tai Shang Kan Ying Pien, 213-18
Native Spirituality-We are as much alive as we keep the earth alive Chief Dan George
Buddhism: Treat not others in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. Udana-Varga 5.18
Judaism: What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. This is the whole Torah; all the rest is commentary. Hillel, Talmud, Shabbat 31a
Islam: Not one of you truly believes until you wish for others what you wish for yourself. The Prophet Muhammad, Hadith
Sikhism: I am a stranger to no one; and no one is a stranger to me. Indeed, I am a friend to all. Guru Granth Sahib
Bahai Faith: Lay not on any soul a load that you would not wish to be laid upon you, and desire not for anyone the things you would not desire for yourself. Bahauliah, Gleanings
Jainism: One should treat all creatures in the world as one would like to be treated. Mahavira, Sutravitanga
Unitarianism: We affirm and promote respect for the interdependence of all existence of which we are a part.
Zoroastrianism: Do not unto others what is injurious to yourself. Shayast-na-Shayast 13.29
Wicca/Pagan: Wicca Rede 1: In that it harm none, do as ye will.
Whatever higher power you believe in has given all of us answers in the best way we can comprehend. We are all special in the eyes of that higher power.
Perhaps we should respect each other. We should allow each other our differences. And, rather than fight our differences, acknowledge and honor our oneness.
