I can't fucking believe George Carlin died. That ruins my whole day.

I'm a huge fan. I never got to see him.

Hendrix got his first pet today!

A white, blue, and pink betta, named Xerxes (because he's a very flamboyant looking fish... and he tries to fight everything you put in front of his face).

I'd take pictures but as you know... my camera is nomore.

I still need a new one!! Right now i'm doing a commission for about $200. I'm using that money to get a new camera. It really sucks i don't have one right now because i'm missing pictures and video of Hendrix's first crawls. He just learned how to crawl forwards a couple days ago.

P.S. TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL

Hendrix is growing his second tooth!!

Orajel is in full effect.
Poor lil guy... It's okay though. I don't mind the lack of sleep. I know it will pass. I think it would be selfish of me to complain about his moodyness when he's in such pain I just wish I could make him feel better.

I bought him two new toys to help keep his mind off of it:

teether

star stacker

I'd take pictures of him playing with them buuuttt.....i accidentally dunked my camera in the pool. So it has become another one of his toys as well (better that than a paper weight).

I really need a new camera. Any suggestions?

Okay I need to vent about my mom again. This is unbelievable...

So today she is sitting on the couch and says to me, "You're eyes are really yellow today. Almost as yellow as your hair." (My hair has faded to yellow from dying it orange.)

Then she says, "They're not blue like they usually are."

Me: "My eyes are green. ... They're NEVER blue."

Mom: "Yeah... they're hazel. Sometimes they're blue."

Me: "My eyes have never been blue in my fucking life. Maybe when i was an infant. All babies are born with blue eyes. Maybe that's the last time you looked at them."

Mom: "Oh... Your dad had hazel eyes. They're like your dad's"

Me: "NO. Dad had bright-fucking-emerald-green eyes. I know this because as he was dying I looked into them and took a mental picture for the last time because I knew I'd never see them again. They were the greenest eyes I've ever seen. EMERALD GREEN. And mine are green like his except for a little bit of yellow. How do you not know your husband of 35 years' eyes, and your own daughters....."

Mom: "I haven't seen you in a long time."

Me. "............................?"

Mom: "You can change them with contacts."

Me: "How is that relevant?"

Mom: "I guess I never really looked at your eyes."


My own mother does not know what color my eyes are. I'm not surprised.

as you can see, my eyes are fucking green:




and always has been (me - 16 yrs)

Dear San Francisco,

I am coming to visit. I am getting certified in Oklahoma because it's cheaper but I will be there for Gay Pride. I miss you more than you know.

I can't wait to walk the sparkly sidewalks, breastfeed in public without dirty looks, sit in Starbucks on Powell and talk to friends, smell the fog. I can close my eyes and go there. I know you like the back of my hand. Every street and every alley.

I'm watching the Pursuit of Happyness and it's reminding me of when i was homeless there. I went to the same places they show in the movie... oohhh how i love San Francisco.

OBAMA JUST WON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances with Hendrix*

Okay... I think i might need a break from my doula books...

I'm watching Dawn of the Dead for the first time tonight and in my head i was thinking, "WHAT?? HOW DARE HE STRAP THAT PREGNANT ZOMBIE BITCH DOWN! She needs to walk around! Her zombie labor will never progress with her laying on her back!"

*puts Ina May's Guide to Childbirth down*

on a lighter note...

My grandpa is dying. He went into the hospital because he had to have an operation on his heart but he got some sort of staff infection and it's taken over his whole body.

He might have already passed by now, i'm not sure. I was never really close to him because he and my dad weren't close and i love my daddy so to remain loyal to him i never really talked to my grandpa much. But it's still sad because my oldest brother was really close to him. He's taking it pretty hard. To make it even worse he had to fly to England yesterday so he doesn't get to be with him. I went up to the hospital last night to see him and i told him my brother loved him. He's in a sort of vegetable state.... except he can hear. He just can't talk.

The good thing is we did get to go see him at his house before he went into the hospital for heart surgery. And i got a video of him! I'm not sure if you're able to understand him...he's VERY south. haha. He always called me "Murraynda Layee" (Miranda Lee) In the video he's talking a "fish'n trip" he went on and how he got stuck upside down on the boat. I'm happy that he at least got to meet Hendrix. Can you imagine meeting your GREAT grandchilden?? Your kid's kid's kids! Weeeird.





And here's some pictures of him with Hendrix. The other boy is my cousin KC's son (the other guy in the video) Kale. Kale is 7 months older than Hendrix but they're almost the same size!