''Don't pray for an easy life, pray for the strength to endure a difficult one'' - Bruce Lee

Well, I have been trying (unsucsessfully ) to take a picture of The Man himself from Google images, and post it on this blog underneath my favourite quote. But, hey ho, this is Shebari so therefore, faliure of the 'techy' attempts ensued. But, we all know who I mean when I say Mr Badass himelf, Bruce Lee.

Whomsoever has an easy life may be pain free and survive with little or no scars on their heart where it has not been broken, taped back together then broken again. They may not have suffered loss or expirienced tragedy. Some have endured when they thought they were too weak to endure, but , endure they did and survived.

An easy life must be lovely. Peaceful. Harmonious. But, would it lack colour, excitment and substance? Would an easy life be boring? The truth is, I don't know. My life has been 'colourful' since the very begining. Filled with so much change, difficulty and excitment that there have been many times I did not think I would make it. I have suffered heartbreak of the most wicked kind, not by a partner or a husband, but by blood. Broken men, broken heart, broken marriage, broken bones, broken mind and broken self. Yes, life has been frought with difficulties But I am not a victim because I have not had an easy life. I am lucky. I finally found the strength to endure the difficulties in this one. This life I love.



To all those I love and those I have not yet had the chance to.......Find the strenth to endure and grap some shades along the way as its a bright and colourful world out there if you're brave enough to take it on. GO GET IT!

Shebari xxx

Hello there guys,

So, I have had an interesting couple of days. I don't do much in the way of hobbies these days. I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't go out often. I have young children, so most of my free time is taken up. The only thing that I really do for myself (besides a little job that I have) is some (pretty poor at times) modeling. I am relativley new to my hobby, and began my little journey into it less than a year ago. I am not delusional, and I do not expect modeling to take me places. I do however, find it lots of fun and an excellent form of escapism.

I tend to work with photographers who are hobbists also. I have a profile on a couple of modeling websites where I tend to hook up with photographers who would like to take my pic for various different projects. On Thursday this week, I met with a photographer who contacted me through ModelMayhem. He is a professional and does some of he most awesome wedding pictures I have ever seen. Really different, nto your ususal group pictures of the bride her groom and her mother ect. Instead, he documents the entire day on a completely personal level and the images reflect the subjects, not the occassion. He really has blown me away with what he does with a wedding (kind makes me wanna get hitched just so I can have a nice set of wedding pics.....haha).

Anyway, this guy comes out to discuse a Fine Art shoot at my home. He turns up and has brought a lot of equiptment to do a bit of a practice shoot. I start to get quite nervous and bunggling (talking nonsense at a hundred miles an hour and acting like a total plonker), not wanting to seem unproffessional (though, unproffessional I am), I agree to do this 'off the cuff' shoot completely unprepared for it. So unprepared I might add, that I felt very uncomfprtable and could not quite get into the groove. I have never in my life felt so ridiculous. I was appologetic as I felt I had wasted this pro guys morning, and told him not to even worry about getting any pics to me (to be honest, I did not want to see the results of something that was so excruciatingly embarrassing.......There is nothing like feeling ridiculous when your butt naked in front of a stranger. We're talking a WHOLE new level of emarrassing) I felt that he must have been very dissapointed as he must be used to working with people who at least know what they are doing and not stand there the whole time feeling like a total plank! Haha!

However, the nice togg didn't want to let ME down and was back at mine early the next day with a CD with a few pics he managd to sneak out of me. I was pleasently suprised. They are actually rather good. Needless to say, I don't think he will be calling on me again, but I was immpressed that he got what he did when I gave him so little to work with. He also 'threw' together a SG set for me whilst I was undressing in preparation, which I certainly did not expect nor want him to go out of his way doing. Sigh.....How I ramble on. To cut a long story short, I got some really nice fine art images that I did not expect. The first in my 8 months or so of modeling. I may even print this first one out and put it in a frame. I love the way my spine is so bumpy, it's kinda 'reptilian'. Tell me what you guys think. I actually like these pictures a lot. And thanks to my friend who I will probably not hear from again, I have a very simple set to submit too. I shall post some pics of that particular set on my next blog. For now, here is me doing 'Fine Art Nude'. Enjoy.

Totally not cool!!! I have had no internet for, like, 2 weeks!!! It's been awful. I hate to say this, but my life felt pretty empty without you, cyberspace. I'm so happy you're back xxx

So, SG World, it is so lovely to see you. I have missed you and I was kinda (I don't know why......) worried about you. I was worried that you may have thought I'd abandoned you, that perhaps, I was not coming back. You see, my internet conection depends entirly on credit I have for my dongle, and I could not afford my monthly £15 last month. I had a very poor couple of weeks and I had to cut out a few luxaries in order to feed the children and continues having hot water and such......Blah blah blah......Same story for most people lately I guess? Anyhew, I have been very bored without my beloved internet, so I have cut down on my own essentials, for example I have been drinking Smart Price leomonade (My children drink fruit juice and boobie milk, so they have not had to suffer nutritionally due to their mothers need for cyberlife....Just had to point that out) at £0.18 a bottle instead of my lovely Diet Coke at £1.99 a bottle, and I have also been eating less sweets and cake (this has been considerably more painful than the 'Coke/Ceap ass lemonade' swap), sob sob. But, in the great skeam (hmm, can't get that word right.....Mental block) I have found the sacrifice worth it to have you, my beloved internet, my company on dark nights, my helpful research friend and my conection to the outside world back in my life.......Hmmm, perhaps I should work on getting an ACTUAL life?? Haha! N'ah, this'll do me for now.

So, I appologise for the radio silence my dear friends, but I am home again, and I am so happy to see you guys. Mwuah! Mwuah! Kiss! Kiss!

Shebari x

Good morning fellow SuicideGirlers.

So, no suprise I guess but my latest set 'Dark Jubilee' didn't bring very much love, but I must thank everyone who took a look and voted. Cheers dears!!

I just wanted to show you this pic, which anyone who knows me may say ''Its about time, Mrs Gossipy Goss-bag'' (I may have been known to now and then cease to have control over myself when keeping interesting goings on to myself....I just can't help myself!). I thought that some of my friends may appriciate the concept.....



Also, I think that the powers that be should re-make The Lost Boys and cast your's truely (as a Lost Girl of course )




I don't have any SG set shoots coming up anytime soon, but if anybody is in the Northern England area, and would like to shoot a set with me. I would be grateful. I always like to have a set qued for MR otherwise I panic.........And I don't have one qued!!!! PANIC!!!

Oh yeah, I changed the hair.....Black now. I do hope you guys like it.

Oh! My! Word!! I am so nervous about my new set ''Dark Jubilee'' http://suicidegirls.com/members/Shebari/albums/site/29160/
I do hope it does better than my other (less than worthy ) efforts. For anyone who wants to ''Love It'' I will love you forever!! I hope it is enjoyed by at least some of you




Its my bestest effort so far. I feel I have come a long way in the few months since I shot my first ever set, and I have worked really hard to improve my technique. I hope you guys enjoy

If anyone has seen this man, please deliver to Shebari UK



Ok, so he may not be mine, but I really think he ought to be. Who IS this handsome devil? Doea anybody know?
..........Sigh (looks off into the distance with a dreamy look in her eye)..... He is just sooo beautiful I just HAD to share <3 <3 <3

Anyhow, I have had my head up my butt lately, mopping around, feeling blue, and pretty much being a miserable cow. Now my little girl is poorly and I have realised that I am a mother first and formost and I should not sweat the small stuff. Its nothing serious, she has a stomach bug, and I am trying my best to help her kick it as soon as possible. Get well soon Bella!!! Mwuah! Mammy loves you xxxxx

Now, all being well (I.e my baby being well), I have a vintage fashion shoot in Lancaster on Wedensday. The requirements are for me to have black hair! So, If I can get someopne to watch my babies for an hour I shall go get some black hair dye (I have every colour under the rainbow.....But black!), What are all my friends thoughts on me having black hair?? Do you think it will suit?? I do hope so.

Oh yes, I must add that my new set ''Dark Jubilee'' is out in 3 more sleeps, so if you could be dears and give me some love, I will love you all forever! It is my little tribute to The Queen of Englands Diamond Jubillee......... Obviously, with a dark twist.....I can't go too 'Decadent' on you guys, this is SuicideGirls after all As is my custom, a little taster



Love to you all

Shebari xx

Hello there happy campers! I do hope you're all well?

I am feeling very joyous this morning over here in Northern England. It's a beautiful sunny morning, and I just LOVE when the sun is shinning. I am going to get the children dressed and mozy on down to a Car Boot sale and see if I can't bag myself a bargin or 2. You know what they say ''One mans trash, is another mans treasure'' I am determined to find some new books to keep me entertained on the long lonely nights (unfortunatly I have no love in my life to help me there....1....2.....3......AWWWW). Anyway, I do hope everyone else is enjoying as 'cheery' a morning as myself.

Now, there is another reaso ( other than the sunshine) that has made me smile this morning. This may suprise some of you, as it would probably make most hopefuls weep! But my set http://suicidegirls.com/members/Shebari/albums/site/28790/ .........Drum roll pur-lees.... actualy achieved 300 comments Haha! My sets have generaly been unpopular. I have submited quite a few and this is the first one to achieve less 'sucky-ness' than the others and get 300 comments! So thank you to all everyone who took the time to take a look. One of my favourite pics from the set :


I have what I think is my Awesomest set so far coming out in MR on 23rd Aprill 11pm! And I am MEGA excited about this one

It is called 'Dark Jubilee' and is a tribute to our Queen who celebrates 60 years on the throne this year. Thats not bad going for the ol' gal eh? So, I have put together 60 pictures (thats one for each year she has been on the throne ) It was taken my hallway and I tried to put a some decadence into it! Haha! I am not a very decadent person, but I tried my best, lol. Here's a peek.




And, what the hell, have a full nude one for good messure



I would be so happy and chuffed and pleased if I could get in the 90's percent- wise and perhaps get one or two more comments than previous sets.......Purdy Pur-lees.....Either way, I hope whoever does take a look, enjoys acordingly

Big kisses to all! Mwuah Mwuah Mwuah

Hello everyone

First of all, I would like to share my newest tattoo with you all (I do not profess to be a photographer, so please allow that my tattoo's awesomeness is slightly hindered by the blurry pic. My tattoo IS awesome



I am impatiant now to get my other foot done. As this tribute to my fabulous parents is 'Old Skool', a very traditional design, I would like something very new and 'different' as a tribute to my beautiful daughters.....But I dont know what yet. I would like more than just names however. I was thinking a cartoon of 2 pretty little girls with curly hair and somehow something of their charater traits about them. Bella Marie is 6 years old, has always been a quiet, thoughtful little girl. She is VERY inteligent (Not just 'mother's pride' here, she is in fact a hig achiever......BEAMS WITH PRIDE ), she is funny, yet very sensible for a young kid. Very much a 'thinker'. Matilda Alice is 15 months old, and couldn't be more of a contrast to her sister. Matilda is a 'doer'. She is NEVER still, always exploring and into EVERYTHING, she likes to play outside and when she falls down, has not the time in her 'busy little bee' life to cry about a scrapped knee. She worries me infact with her lack of care when it comes to hurting herself. She is also funny, and expresses an AWESOME sense of humour already at her young age. She is also VERY musical, loves to listen to it and (this is so great) she can't string a sentance together just yet, but this does not stop ehr from singing! She has a beautiful little singing voice and expreses her melodic tones with her made up words and babbling......I have never seen a baby do this before, it really is quite remarkable

I don't know if it is bad form or not, but I shall post a pick of me and my girls last Summer (It is the only one of all 3 of us together.....Matilda Alice is a little bigger than this pic shows now. Bella Marie is the older girl, and Matilda Alice is the baby.....And the wench without the make-up is yours truely



So, that is my little family......Minus our other little member Poppy the Jack Russel who is now 4....I suppose I shoul;d post a pic of her too....Just so she does not feel left out. Her is Poppy, the fourth member of our family.



Just a couple more pics. And these ones are of me posing The one taken in the dark room is from a new set that is out on 23rd Aprill (St George's Day! Which works out well as the new set 'Dark Jubilee' is a tribute to The Queen's Diamond Jubilee which is this year). I have trown in a couple form a recent swimwear shoot too......Why the heck not







Recognise the shades??

Have a very Happy Easter all my lovely SG friends

Woohoo!! I am FINALY getting my new tattoo on Thursday......Thats 3 more sleeps people.

I have been wanting a new one for ages now, but had to wait on account of being pregnant, and then being a new mother, I had not the time! Nor the spare pennies! But the joys of motherhood more than compensate for those things of course. Infact, if I was in a relationship and settled down with someone fabulous, I would add to my family for the next 10 years as many as I could!.......I SOOOO want more babies....Anyone?? Haha!

An.....yway...My new tattoo. I am getting an old school heart/scroll/scull tribute to my Mam and Dad whom I love dearly, and miss much since they upped stickes and moved to Southern Ireland (come back guys!! We miss you!!.....Although, the free holiday home is very cool.....Infact, forget it, stay put!....Only kidding! Come back guys!! We miss you!!). I am getting it on the top of my foot, and am hoping it will look nice. It that looks as cool as envisioned, I intend to get a 'New Skool' tribute to my 2 daughters, Bella and Matilda. I don't want names however (I am done with name tattoos. Bad expirience gettting tattooed whilst under the influence......Whats that about Mr Tattoist!!?? Huh?!), I am seeing a catoon style take on 2 curly haired, pretty little girls souronded by tributes to their fabulous little triats that make them so special to me (Awww). I want this one on my other foot, and will speak to my tattooist about the design on Thursday.

I will be sure to post a picture of the 'newbie' for anyone who may be interested. Also, if any of you guys may be interested in talking to me of my second design, that would be most welcome, as I have no idea really of where to begin.

I also want to say a huge thank you toeveryone who commented on and 'Loved' my set 'Sweet Time Alone'. You guys are great. Thank you.

Big Cyber hugs to all (( ))

Love Shebari xxx

Ok, so in the UK we have just lost 1 hour. The clocks went forward to mark the begining of British Summertime. Yesterday, this would have been 7am, but now it is 8am (bummer, I hate losing an hour).

So, my new set comes out on the 25th March at 11pm your time, which usualy works out 8 hours later here in the UK. I had figured to see my set 'Sweet Time Alone' in MR at 7am on 26th here (confused anyone yet ?).

Now, I have always found this change of time rather annoying, and I have no idea if you guys across the Atlantic have the same system? If not, does that mean that Iwill see my set in MR an hour later than I had first supposed?? In the words of the fabulous Shuan Ryder (of 'Happy Mondays' and 'Black Grape' fame)...IT'S TWISTED MY MELON MAN!!!!

Either way, my set 'Sweet Time Alone' is out in MR in around 24 hours (Give or take 1 here or there, haha!)

Here is a little taster Please please give it some love...It's actually pretty good for Shebari. My best one to date I would say. Don't forget to tell me what you think