Recently my Office Wife mentioned that when we first met she thought that I was gay. We were interrupted before she could explain her reasoning. Nonetheless I have chosen to respond in the only way that a truly hetero male can: in song.

How can it nearly be July yet still so cold in this apartment that I need to wear a dressing gown in the evenings to keep warm? The dressing gown is corduroy, naturally.

This jacket is a nice bit of cord too. At least 32 years old.

I got an excellent new vaporizer pipe for out and about when the beloved Volcano is out of reach.

It's been a while but you've still got the old magic, baby...

Fridge Inventory



Butter
Jalapenos
Cat Milk (obtained using a really tiny milking stool)
Semi-skimmed milk
Welch's Purple Grape Juice
Amaretto coffee grounds
3 small bottles of water
1 can Dr Pepper
1 can San Pellegrino Orange
1 can Barr Cola
1can All Natural Relaxation (Bob!) Marley's Mellow Mood, Berry flavour
3 small panini
Flour tortillas
Half a loaf of white bread
Wholegrain mustard
Tartare sauce
Vegetable pakora
Pakora sauce
Cheddar
Olives
Large freerange eggs
Lurpak Spreadable
Mayonnaise
Smoked sausage
Water chestnuts
Peri Peri Mayo
Chickpeas
Onions
Seriously Strong cheese spread
Light Philadelphia cream cheese spread
Ravioli
Coleslaw
Bell peppers
Iceberg lettuce

Texted my boss at 7.30am to take the day off.

How better to spend it than by firing up the Volcano and drinking alcoholic ginger beer while wearing an Australian hat?

On those seemingly endless nights when I lie awake, pondering what might have been if you had made different choices or I had made a different decision, sometimes I sigh longingly and I make a wish.

I wish...

I wish that I had discovered an element so that I could have named it Penisium.

When Robert Plant sings about giving you "every inch" of his love is he talking about his penis? His erect penis?





Might he possibly be thinking about engorged members in these pics?

Dirty bugger...

If a hitherto straight guy is thinking of hiring a male prostitute does that make him buy-curious?

This is probably of no interest but it is the Director's Cut (being the version that the Board of Directors have not seen) of a little internal promo video for work:

Honestly, hand on heart this picture has not been photoshopped in any way whatsoever. I give you my word as a gentleman. The sun really does shine in Glasgow now and again.



Apparently there are not yet enough cat pics on the world's servers...


This was his reaction when I was explaining that I do my best to look after him and apologising for any deficiencies in his care due to my lack of feline experience. Clearly gracious and understanding.