What would happen to our future? The human race is just that, a race to the finish line. But what is that finality? What will we become to get there? Rather, what will we DO to get there? To each other and everything around us. Will we just end up on multiple planets fighting eachother other than continents? Or would there be global peace and space exploration? Who would really know, but our children. We rest our fate in their hands, and yet we expect them to others in this day and age. Everyone is too busy to look after their own children. We have daycares, schooling all day long, and hire babysitters. But what happened to family night? Where did our time go with ourselfs. We push and grind all day at work and become unruly and unhappy to come home with dinner from some fastfood place and expect to have a quiet three-year-old cause 'mommy has a headache'. But what three-year-old do you know that is quiet and a perfect child? Now how is that child going to grow up? No proper guidence from the parents, because they are every where but where it counts. But the kicker to the fire is when the child starts to grow and actually be a child and gets into some trouble. Instead of slapping the hand and saying no, some parents go off the deep end. Some go as far as borderline abuse the kids. But it should be alright and no fears of slapping your child upside the head if he/she deserves it.
Now I am one of those children that slipped through the cracks. I lived with an abusive mother for seven years. The first seven years of my life, I slept where I could, ate anything I could find. The only reason I feel I made it out as good as I did is because of my sister. My sister and I are close, very close, and took care of eachother everytime we could. And at that time, thats where the family came to play. Two good souls lost in a sea of evil and coruption. And this is MY story, My point of views, and I dont care who I piss off. Simply said, fuck off, I will say what I want to make my point clear.

I love you soo much, and yet every breath I take feels like I make you wither, every touch makes you shiver. Why cant I make things right? Why do I have soo much hate in me and not able to let it go? I fight to every diying breath to say I am nothing like my parents, and yet here I am, just like them. I fight every day not to screw up, and yet here I am. Why, oh why, can I not make things right again? I loved you in the beginning, and I will love you till the end. Baby, but I cannot hurt you any more, so see you in pain reflects on me tenfold. I love you and I WILL change.

ok ok i have been working a lot so i havent been on but idk, nothing new has happened, i am still hopeing to get a new tattoo but i doubt that considering we are broke as hell but you know... and hoping i can make more music but we will see...

Ok, its been too long sence i have been here, so i guess its time to come back, i got three months free, so sometime soon i will buy my year account... but i have been good. I have gotten engaged to a lovely woman, i live with her now and my job still sucks. I am hopeing i will make it to pharmacy soon, but we will see. oh and i finally made a cd just need to get it published.

yay, we have been living without power for about 2 days and we have to go another 2 days without till they turn it back on... but its all cool, im bord as hell and decided to blog, something i need to do more often... like some ppl i know lol (vivid) jkjk, any who, thats about it...

yay, i turned 21 may 3rd. i got shit faced caterday at midnight and didnt drink at all on my tru birthday... lol... then monday night i went to the necto and blew $100 and didnt get drunk, sad... i know but i ran into Vivid and made her laugh so it was almost worth it lol