*Note to self*
Update soon with something, anything, positive
I always say I can't cry and until two nights ago it was true. I thought I'd be happy when I finally cried again, nope
Now I know that whenever I want to cry, all I have to do is make my Mom cry.
I feel like the biggest shit in the world, although it wasn't actually my fault, she cried over my reaction, and my reaction was justified. So, in the end, It was my brother's fault.
I still feel like the world's biggest shit.
On a lighter note, I am most positive I am going to fail Illustration. That teacher, what a fucktard.
Update soon with something, anything, positive
I always say I can't cry and until two nights ago it was true. I thought I'd be happy when I finally cried again, nope
Now I know that whenever I want to cry, all I have to do is make my Mom cry.
I feel like the biggest shit in the world, although it wasn't actually my fault, she cried over my reaction, and my reaction was justified. So, in the end, It was my brother's fault.
I still feel like the world's biggest shit.
On a lighter note, I am most positive I am going to fail Illustration. That teacher, what a fucktard.
-I'm probably going to fail Illustration, but that's ok cause the teacher is a stupid. Y'know how some people may be great accountants, but wouldn't be great accounting techers? Its like that.
-I randomly met someone one Monday who's met Sean, I feel like I've been blessed or something. Go ahead, you can touch me.
-Also on Monday, had fun, drunk and high and Denny's; the way to go. It was weird that night, at Denny's this bum started talking to us, I dunno why it was weird but it was. Also, right when the weed hit me, out of nowhere, this dog just trotted over the hill and walked down the street, facing forwards, like it knew where it was going, or walking it's self or something. It was weird, and again I don't know why.
-My camera is almost full, so in about a week I think it should be developed, good roll of film I think.
-I randomly met someone one Monday who's met Sean, I feel like I've been blessed or something. Go ahead, you can touch me.
-Also on Monday, had fun, drunk and high and Denny's; the way to go. It was weird that night, at Denny's this bum started talking to us, I dunno why it was weird but it was. Also, right when the weed hit me, out of nowhere, this dog just trotted over the hill and walked down the street, facing forwards, like it knew where it was going, or walking it's self or something. It was weird, and again I don't know why.
-My camera is almost full, so in about a week I think it should be developed, good roll of film I think.
Change. Usually if someone says, "I need a change" people around will respond, "Then change."
I wish it were that easy, in my experience, of which 100% of it is with myself, when change is an issue, it isn't due to a lack of effort on my part.
ahh fuck . . .
I really don't see tomorrow for me, just, nothing.
I don't think I should say negative stuff all the time, but at least its only mnegative stuff about me, sorta.
Sorry world for me existing.
I wish it were that easy, in my experience, of which 100% of it is with myself, when change is an issue, it isn't due to a lack of effort on my part.
ahh fuck . . .
I really don't see tomorrow for me, just, nothing.
I don't think I should say negative stuff all the time, but at least its only mnegative stuff about me, sorta.
Sorry world for me existing.
I think I would probably do most anything for Snow, hmm odd.
Hmm, scabbing is fun. Some people who come in are idiots though.
I really wish there were a theater around me that had midnight showings of Heavy Metal.
Hmm, scabbing is fun. Some people who come in are idiots though.
I really wish there were a theater around me that had midnight showings of Heavy Metal.
Life, existence, its . . . there.
Playing now: Pete Yorn - Come Back Home
I now see know just how much I value Halloween last year with Richard, and the times we'd hotbox my van, the days before Dan would smoke out. I value them now. I wish I'd network more, everywhere. Specially this site though, the best I can do though is lament over not making connections now, and say that I will later, and then later lament over not making connections and say that I will later.
"We're not scaremongerin, this is really happening"
One of those lines, just caught it while typing. One of those things that happens, or yo hear, or you see that has a higher meaning to you at the time, it tells you soemthing. These things are how I think God helps me out sometimes.
Right now life should be easier than ever for me, but it feels hard.
I think its time for me to change my profile pic. Also, I'll be adding a buttload of pics to My Pics soon, just gotta use up and develop the film in the camera.
Fuck. Ruby's Fade into You track just came on.
I miss Ruby on a level that I shouldn't. I don't even know her and its like I've lost the outside three toes on each foot, it puts me off balance.
Where the tear icon when you need it?
Playing now: Pete Yorn - Come Back Home
I now see know just how much I value Halloween last year with Richard, and the times we'd hotbox my van, the days before Dan would smoke out. I value them now. I wish I'd network more, everywhere. Specially this site though, the best I can do though is lament over not making connections now, and say that I will later, and then later lament over not making connections and say that I will later.
"We're not scaremongerin, this is really happening"
One of those lines, just caught it while typing. One of those things that happens, or yo hear, or you see that has a higher meaning to you at the time, it tells you soemthing. These things are how I think God helps me out sometimes.
Right now life should be easier than ever for me, but it feels hard.
I think its time for me to change my profile pic. Also, I'll be adding a buttload of pics to My Pics soon, just gotta use up and develop the film in the camera.
Fuck. Ruby's Fade into You track just came on.
I miss Ruby on a level that I shouldn't. I don't even know her and its like I've lost the outside three toes on each foot, it puts me off balance.
Where the tear icon when you need it?
WTF is this, Ruby, Nala; and ofcourse I find both out while high. Its getting cold now, and its getting dark, and I wish I had the coat in Snow's doorbell set, with her in it ofcourse. And Ruby and Nala would be there too, and Siren and Elektra and everyone. The whole scene would be lit by candle light. The snow wouls begin to fall throught the haze above all the heads and then it'd be seen from the back, and everyone would be in on the balcony of a house sitting on a Palos Verdes cliff that was at the ocean's edge in newport, and they'd be watching the San Bernadino fires, which are close, so close the heat radiating from the flames is felt on their faces as if they were staring into a fireplace close up. The fire would heat everyone, and the excess warmth the balcony floor could not absorb would be felt on the skin of all the bodies rolling on the floor in the horrible, beautiful moment. And in the end, with large sating harem pillows lining the area behind the mound of bodies, all would be one with anoher as if actually having been molded into one mass. And I'd look to my right and be held by the abysses that are Snow's eyes.
I WANT RUBY!! and and fuck. I don't know what else, I don't know why, but I have this ominous feeling of forboding, like with Ruby going off my list is the beginning of my final run at SG. I don't know why, but it sucks
Halloween today and I have no costume, am not going to Hollywood, am not going to the party in downtown LA, am not going to see a movie to keep up the tradition . . . I am going to probably do the same fucking thing I do almost every night, if not, then everyweekend and its kinda seems like that's because of someone in my now lame-ass-fucked-up-piece-of-shit-loser group that can't even really be called a group. Any members who wanna get smoked out, head down to the Hermosa Pier and I'll hook you up as long as you can take me away from the poeple I'll be with. Look fo the guy who is high and is not having fun.
Is this going to be New Year's all over?
or
Is this the end of zombie Shakespere?
Halloween today and I have no costume, am not going to Hollywood, am not going to the party in downtown LA, am not going to see a movie to keep up the tradition . . . I am going to probably do the same fucking thing I do almost every night, if not, then everyweekend and its kinda seems like that's because of someone in my now lame-ass-fucked-up-piece-of-shit-loser group that can't even really be called a group. Any members who wanna get smoked out, head down to the Hermosa Pier and I'll hook you up as long as you can take me away from the poeple I'll be with. Look fo the guy who is high and is not having fun.
Is this going to be New Year's all over?
or
Is this the end of zombie Shakespere?
And when you started to sing you spoke with broken speech, that I could not understand
And then you grabbed me tightly
I won't let go, I won't let go
Even if you say so, oh no
I've tried and tried with no results
I won't let go, I won't let go
Anybody who is anti-Dntel/Postal Service/Death Cab for Cutie is no friend of anyone.
The curtains were liquid, river flowing upwards against gravity
It turned the whole world on its side for me, I fell to the ground
The concusion cracked the floor
Lava burbled out and began to run up the incline
Islands formed, and animals appeared on them
Floating now, floating
I can't take it anymore, the warmth feels too good
Curled into a seed, I nuzzle the sand, burrowing my way in
And then, the sun rose- oh how beautiful it was- and I emerged
Rising from the ground, breaking my shell
Swinging from vines, bathing in lagoons, fishing, sleeping, living, dying
I decided I'm going to start a webcomic after reading through thelemurgod's (disassemblance). I can only hope it measures up to be half as good as his.
And then you grabbed me tightly
I won't let go, I won't let go
Even if you say so, oh no
I've tried and tried with no results
I won't let go, I won't let go
Anybody who is anti-Dntel/Postal Service/Death Cab for Cutie is no friend of anyone.
The curtains were liquid, river flowing upwards against gravity
It turned the whole world on its side for me, I fell to the ground
The concusion cracked the floor
Lava burbled out and began to run up the incline
Islands formed, and animals appeared on them
Floating now, floating
I can't take it anymore, the warmth feels too good
Curled into a seed, I nuzzle the sand, burrowing my way in
And then, the sun rose- oh how beautiful it was- and I emerged
Rising from the ground, breaking my shell
Swinging from vines, bathing in lagoons, fishing, sleeping, living, dying
I decided I'm going to start a webcomic after reading through thelemurgod's (disassemblance). I can only hope it measures up to be half as good as his.
And when you started to sing you spoke with broken speech, that I could not understand
And then you grabbed me tightly
I won't let go, I won't let go
Even if you say so, oh no
I've tried and tried with no results
I won't let go, I won't let go
Anybody who is anti-Dntel/Postal Service/Death Cab for Cutie is no friend of anyone.
The curtains were liquid, river flowing upwards against gravity
It turned the whole world on its side for me, I fell to the ground
The concusion cracked the floor
Lava burbled out and began to run up the incline
Islands formed, and animals appeared on them
Floating now, floating
I can't take it anymore, the warmth feels too good
Curled into a seed, I nuzzle the sand, burrowing my way in
And then, the sun rose- oh how beautiful it was- and I emerged
Rising from the ground, breaking my shell
Swinging from vines, bathing in lagoons, fishing, sleeping, living, dying
I decided I'm going to start a webcomic after reading through thelemurgod's (disassemblance). I can only hope it measures up to be half as good as his.
And then you grabbed me tightly
I won't let go, I won't let go
Even if you say so, oh no
I've tried and tried with no results
I won't let go, I won't let go
Anybody who is anti-Dntel/Postal Service/Death Cab for Cutie is no friend of anyone.
The curtains were liquid, river flowing upwards against gravity
It turned the whole world on its side for me, I fell to the ground
The concusion cracked the floor
Lava burbled out and began to run up the incline
Islands formed, and animals appeared on them
Floating now, floating
I can't take it anymore, the warmth feels too good
Curled into a seed, I nuzzle the sand, burrowing my way in
And then, the sun rose- oh how beautiful it was- and I emerged
Rising from the ground, breaking my shell
Swinging from vines, bathing in lagoons, fishing, sleeping, living, dying
I decided I'm going to start a webcomic after reading through thelemurgod's (disassemblance). I can only hope it measures up to be half as good as his.
